Crimes and Witch Demeanors

Written by: Henry Alonso Myers
Transcribed by: Shay Fitzpatrick

Season 6, Episode 19
Episode Number: 130

[Scene: Street. Phoebe and Paige pull up in their car, and Darryl pulls up in his car. They get out.]

Paige: You sure this is the right place?

Phoebe: It’s just as I saw it in my premonition.

Paige: Yeah, but you kind of forced that premonition.

Phoebe: Darryl, will you hurry up, I got a date.

Darryl: Where’s he gonna be?

Phoebe: At a restaurant down town.

Darryl: No, I meant where’s the killer going to be?

Phoebe: Oh, he’s going to be robbing a pawn shop in the alley.

Darryl: So exactly how do we know that he’s possessed?

Paige: When the phantasm comes out of him and tries to annihilate us.

Darryl: Whoa, wait. So the perp’s not responsible for the other killings? It’s this, whatever you call it?

Phoebe: No, no, he is. The phantasm only possesses bad guys. To make them worse. Okay, shall we?

(Phoebe heads for the alley.)

Darryl: She really wants this demon, doesn’t she?

Paige: No. She really wants her date.

[Cut to the alley. Phoebe and Paige are hiding beside a dumpster, watching the burglar break in to the pawn shop. Darryl joins them.]

Phoebe: Okay, go, go.

Darryl: Okay, just make sure you do your thing before any annihilating occurs, okay?

Phoebe: Have we ever let you down? Go.

(Darryl stands in the middle of the alley and points his gun at the burglar.)

Darryl: Freeze! Police!

(The burglar turns around. Phoebe comes out from behind the dumpster.)

Paige: Wait. Not yet. (The burglar pulls out his gun and shoots. Phoebe pushes Darryl out of the way just in time. The burglar shoots again. Darryl shoots at the burglar and hits him in the chest. He falls to the ground.) Throw the potion.

(Phoebe throws the potion and hits the burglar. The phantasm rises out of the burglar’s body.)

Darryl: Mother of god.

Phoebe: Now. Now.

(Paige holds up a wand and sucks the phantasm into it. It screams as it gets sucked in.)

Paige: Want it?

Phoebe: No.

Darryl: You guys saved my life.

Paige: That’s okay, we put you at risk. Again.

Phoebe: You caught a killer and you saved an innocent. Not bad for a night’s work. I gotta go. Tell Sheila I said hi, okay?

(Phoebe and Paige rush out of the alley.)

Darryl: Uh, yeah, I’ll call it in. You guys better get on out of here before… somebody sees you.

[Cut to the street. Phoebe and Paige walk towards their car. Paige sees a car parked near by.]

Paige: Hey, was that car there before?

Phoebe: Geez, Paige, relax. You act like we’ve never done this before.

[Cut to inside the car. Inspector Sheridan is there holding a video camera. She replays the footage and shows everything that just happened in the alley.]

Inspector Sheridan: Gotcha.

Opening Credits

[Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Phoebe is there making a potion. Paige walks in.]

Paige: Morning. How was your date?

Phoebe: Good. Other than the fact that he’s not the man of my dreams.

Paige: You can tell that from one date?

Phoebe: I can tell that because I see nothing in the future for us besides sex, and I’m not interested in that.

Paige: Sex?

Phoebe: No, wasting my time. Either you’re the father of the child that I saw in my vision or not. So I’m moving on. Can you pass me the asphodel root?

Paige: Yeah. What, are you demon hunting?

Phoebe: No, lunch date. I want to make sure I get a hit off of him before the entrees come. No sense wasting those calories, right?

Paige: Wait a second. So now you’re trying to force premonitions on your dates?

Phoebe: Well, it’s the quickest way to find out who I’m looking for, right?

Paige: Does it even matter to you that you’re breaking every wiccan rule that exists?

Phoebe: I think after all these years, I know what I’m doing. Besides, with Piper in magic school, we’re down a power. We could use the extra boost.

Paige: Maybe. I just hope we don’t misuse it.

(Chris orbs in.)

Chris: There’s the book. Do you mind?

Phoebe: No, knock yourself out.

Chris: Been working some demonic connections. I think I have a new theory on who might be trying to turn Wyatt evil.

Paige: Oh, a new theory. What’s that, the third one this week?

Chris: What? Are you keeping score now?

Phoebe: She’s just grumpy because she hasn’t had her coffee yet.

Paige: I am not grumpy. Okay, fine, maybe a little bit, but you have to admit you’ve had a lot of different theories lately, and none of them have panned out.

Chris: That’s why they call them theories.

Paige: Do we even get along in the future?

Phoebe: How’s Piper? Have you seen her?

Chris: She’s good. Uh, big. You know, I keep thinking how weird it’s gonna be to actually see myself being born.

Phoebe: And how’s Leo?

Chris: Leo? Don’t know. Haven’t seen him.

Phoebe: That’s because you’re avoiding him still, aren’t you? Chris, he’s your father. You have to talk to him. How are you gonna change anything in the future if you don’t?

Chris: That’s not the future I came back to change. Thanks.

(Chris orbs out.)

Paige: Hey, don’t look at me. I’m grumpy.

(The doorbell rings.)

[Cut to the foyer. Phoebe opens the door. Sheila is there crying.]

Phoebe: Sheila. What’s the matter? Come in, come in, come in, come in.

(Paige walks in.)

Paige: What’s going on?

Sheila: It’s Darryl.

Phoebe: What about Darryl? Is he okay?

Sheila: They just arrested him. For murder.

(Phoebe and Paige stand there shocked.)

[Scene: Police Station. Room. Phoebe, Paige and Darryl are there.]

Darryl: I don’t really know what happened. It’s all kind of a blur.

Phoebe: What are you talking about? It was self defence. He shot first. Several times.

Darryl: He did?

Paige: You don’t remember any of that? Did you get hit on the head or something? Maybe when you pushed him down.

Phoebe: No, he was fine after that. Something weird is going on here.

(A lawyer walks in.)

Lawyer: Lieutenant Morris. I’m sorry, but we really have to prepare for your arraignment.

Darryl: It’s okay. They’re my friends.

Phoebe: Yeah, and there’s a problem here because this man is innocent.

Lawyer: Yeah? How do you know?

Phoebe: Because I was there… driving around in the area.

Lawyer: Perjuring yourself isn’t going to help any, lady. The prosecution’s evidence is overwhelming, trust me.

Paige: Evidence? What evidence?

Darryl: It’s okay. Show them.

(The lawyer inserts a CD in his laptop and a video of Darryl and the burglar shows up on the screen. Darryl is pointing his gun at the burglar.)

Burglar: Please. Please don’t kill me! No! Don’t kill me!

(Darryl shoots his gun three times.)

Phoebe: That’s not what happened.

[Cut to the office. Inspector Sheridan is sitting at her desk. Phoebe and Paige walk up to her.]

Phoebe: Inspector Sheridan.

Inspector Sheridan: Yes.

Phoebe: We would like to talk to you.

Paige: Easy.

Phoebe: Do you have a personal grudge against Darryl Morris?

Inspector Sheridan: Morris?

Phoebe: Yeah. We know you faked the images on the tape, and we’re here to let you know that we’re not gonna sit around and watch you frame our friend.

Paige: She’s a little upset.

Inspector Sheridan: Yes, I can see that. And you are?

Phoebe: Phoebe. Phoebe Halliwell.

Inspector Sheridan: Halliwell. Hm. Your name certainly pops up in his file plenty. For the record, I didn’t fake anything, ’cause I was there, undercover, and I saw it go down with my own eyes. I’ve been investigating Morris for a few weeks now, trying to figure out why so many of his suspects over the last five years just vanish or mysteriously wind up dead. Now I know. He takes the law into his own hands. Excuse me.

(She walks away.)

Paige: Well?

Phoebe: If she was lying, I couldn’t sense it.

Paige: Then how do you explain what happened?

Commercial Break

[Scene: Market. The street is full of people walking around. Phoebe and Paige orb right in the middle of everyone. They all run away frightened.]

Paige: Sure hope this works.

Phoebe: It will. Coffee cart.

Paige: Orb away.

(The coffee cart orbs out.)

Phoebe: “Flowers that bring desire, make them turn into fire.” (The flower stall goes up in flames. People scream. Suddenly the whole place freezes. The Cleaners appear.) I see you got our message.

Cleaner #1: What do you think you’re doing now?

Phoebe: Well, we didn’t know how else to call for you. Figured you weren’t listed in the yellow pages.

Cleaner #1: What do you want?

Phoebe: We want to know why you framed Darryl Morris. That was your doing, wasn’t it?

Cleaner #1: Magic was exposed. We were forced to clean it up.

Cleaner #2: Change what was.

Cleaner #1: To protect you.

Phoebe: I thought we resolved this the last time you guys tried to intervene. We clean up our own magical messes.

Cleaner #1: But you didn’t even know about this one. You didn’t realise you were being followed. Taped.

Paige: Yeah, well, we always manage to fix these things somehow.

Cleaner #1: No, you wouldn’t have. That’s why we were put on the case to begin with. It was anticipated.

Phoebe: You know what? I don’t care. If you don’t free Darryl Morris, we’re just gonna keep exposing magic and…

(He holds up his hand.)

Cleaner #1: This will not be like our last encounter, Miss Halliwell. We’re under strict orders not to negotiate with you this time.

Paige: Strict orders from whom?

[Scene: Magic School. Phoebe, Paige, Leo and Gideon are there.]

Leo: The Tribunal. It’s a council made up of Elders and demons to monitor magic, to make sure nobody ever finds out about its use.

Gideon: At whatever the cost.

Leo: Which is why they created the cleaners and gave them the power to erase events, memories.

Paige: Or in this case, to change them.

Leo: Well, it’s just part of the grand design, to allow magic to influence but not take over free will.

Gideon: It’s the one thing both sides could agree upon.

Phoebe: Okay, so how do we find this tribunal?

(Piper walks in.)

Piper: Hey. What are you guys doing here? Uh-oh. What’s wrong?

Leo: It’s Darryl.

Paige: Our friendly Cleaners have struck again. He’s in jail for murder.

Piper: What? Why? What happened?

Paige: Someone was in a hurry.

Phoebe: Oh, wait. Are we blaming me for this? Did we or did we not catch the demon?

Paige: Yeah, but you forced the premonition, so maybe we could’ve been more careful, and maybe we could’ve seen that somebody was watching.

Phoebe: And if I hadn’t, we would’ve never caught the killer.

Leo: Alright, guys, this isn’t helping.

Phoebe: I know, it isn’t. There’s only one thing that will.

[Scene: The Tribunal Council. Phoebe, Paige, Leo and Gideon orb in on the white floor. The floor is surrounded by black.]

Paige: Where are we?

Gideon: Nowhere. Anywhere. You don’t want to know. You should know that the tribunal is not like anything you’ve ever faced before. They are not a power to be trifled with.

Phoebe: We understand.

Gideon: Do you? You might not like what’s been happening to your friend, but be aware before you embark upon this journey that where it ends might just be worse.

Phoebe: Call them.

Gideon: “Di! Ecce hora! Uxor mea me necabit!”

(The faces of Crill, Thrask and Aramis, the tribunal, appear in the black area.)

Crill: What reason have you to call the tribunal?

Gideon: To challenge the actions of the cleaners on behalf… of the Charmed Ones.

Thrask: The Charmed Ones? But there are only two.

Aramis: The other is with child. I assume the sisters will speak for her in abstentia.

Phoebe: Yeah. In abstentia. Your… Greatness?

Paige: There’s four of them. How do they break a tie?

Leo: You don’t want to know.

Adair: Your request has been granted.

(Barbas flames in.)

Phoebe: Barbas? What the hell is he doing here?

Barbas: You missed me.

Paige: Didn’t we vanquish you?

Barbas: To the fires of hell. I’ve been granted a temporary leave of absence in order to act as your opposing counsel.

Crill: We liked his pitch.

Leo: Pitch? What pitch? How did he even know about it?

Thrask: We have the right to choose anybody we wish.

Phoebe: Gideon.

Gideon: Your Honors, in the interests of facts…

Barbas: On that fairness issue, I submit that in order to expedite matters and to keep the Charmed Ones honest…

Paige: Us, honest?

Barbas: Uh, for their own good, we graphically remind them as to what exactly is at stake here so they do not foolishly try some trickery in order to slip away like they did the last time they faced the Cleaners.

Aramis: It is done.

Phoebe: What is done?

Gideon: I’m not sure.

(A hologram of Darryl and Sheila in a jail cell appears in the middle of the room.)

Paige: Darryl?

(The lawyer stands at the cell doors.)

Lawyer: The governor denied the stay.

Leo: What stay? What’s going on?

Crill: We have accelerated time. But only for the execution.

Paige: Execution?

Adair: You have until midnight to convince us, or his sentence will be carried out.

Aramis: Magic will be protected one way or the other.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Tribunal Council. Phoebe and Paige are sitting on chairs.]

Paige: We didn’t know that signing up for this would put Darryl on death row.

Gideon: I warned you about invoking the tribunal.

Phoebe: Yeah, well, you didn’t warn us that they would call upon our worst enemy.

Aramis: Gideon, your case.

Gideon: Yes, your honour, in just a few more moments, if you please.

Thrask: We don’t. You’re the ones who called for us. Proceed.

Phoebe: We called for justice, not the Demon of Fear.

Barbas: I don’t see the problem with me being here.

Phoebe: There’s a conflict of interest, and we believe that the tribunal should recognise this. I think this is a setup.

Leo: Phoebe.

Adair: How dare you question our integrity.

Phoebe: Not yours. Theirs. (Phoebe stands up.) Barbas has tried to kill us three times in the past.

(Phoebe walks out onto the white floor. She steps on a round blue tile in the centre of the floor. She quickly steps back and a hologram appears.)

[The hologram shows:]

[Scene: From Fear to Eternity (1.03). Property. Phoebe is there.]

Phoebe: Mrs. Joffee. It’s SWA Properties.

Mrs. Joffee’s Voice: Hello, dear.

(Phoebe turns around to see Barbas.)

Barbas: Thanks so much for coming out.

(Barbas waves his hand in front of Phoebe’s face.)

Phoebe: I know how you kill, but there are no elevators around here.

Barbas: Elevators? That’s what you think your greatest fear is? You mortals need to look deeper, down where the real truth lies. Your greatest fear is losing a sister, and I get two for one.

(The hologram disappears.)

Barbas: Ha, the good old days.

Phoebe: What the hell was that?

Gideon: The circle of truth, it’s enchanted. It reads thoughts and shows what needs to be seen. You must be careful.

Paige: Maybe you better just sit down.

Barbas: If I may, it is not my past evils that’s in question here. What is in question here is these three witches’ so called right to be continually cleaning up after their own magical asses.

Phoebe: We have to get out of here. We have to figure out how this happened.

Gideon: You can’t. If you leave, Lieutenant Morris dies.

Paige: Does it really matter if we were set up? The point is, we were exposed.

Leo: But if we can prove he orchestrated the exposure, it might.

Phoebe: Go find out what you can. Hurry.

(Leo orbs out.)

Barbas: Was I boring him?

Gideon: With all due respect, if it truly is our case to present, may I? To better put this particular situation into its proper context, it bears reminding your honors of the long history, the long, successful history, the Charmed Ones have of shielding their magical tracks. If I may show you some examples…

[Scene: Magic School. Piper and Leo are there.]

Piper: I’m going.

Leo: No, you can’t.

Piper: Well, I can’t just let him hang either, Leo.

Leo: Piper, if it wasn’t safe for you before, it’s even less safe now with Barbas there. Please?

Piper: Well, what about Darryl? Does he even know what’s happening?

Leo: No, and I’m not going to tell him either. I need to concentrate on proving that Barbas set him up.

Piper: How are you gonna do that?

Leo: I was hoping that you would call Chris and get him to use his demonic connections.

Piper: Why don’t you ask him? Right. Chris?

(Chris orbs in.)

Chris: Yeah, mum, what do you… (He sees Leo.) Need.

Piper: We need your help.

[Scene: Tribunal Council.]

Gideon: The point being, the Charmed Ones have never once failed in their duty to keep the big secret. Witness.

(The hologram appears.)

[The hologram shows:]

[Scene: Womb Raider (4.21). Cole’s Apartment. Piper, Phoebe, Paige and Darryl are there.]

Darryl: I made an appointment for you at missing persons today.

Paige: Wait, you want Phoebe to report Cole as missing?

Darryl: She has to. Otherwise somebody else will, and she’ll become the prime suspect in his disappearance.

Phoebe: So you want me to pack up his stuff so it looks like he left me?

Darryl: That’s right. We cannot give the police any reason to suspect foul play. I mean, technically, you three did kill him.

Paige: “Let the object of objection become but a dream, as I cause the scene to be unseen.”

(The hologram disappears.)

Gideon: As you’ve just seen, Lieutenant Morris whom the Cleaners would have die to cover magic, is here instrumental in keeping it protected.

Barbas: Could you play that hologram just a tiny bit longer? Humour me.

Crill: Do it.

(The hologram appears.)

[The hologram shows:]

[Scene: Cole’s Apartment. Paige moves closer to Phoebe.]

Paige: I just wish I could make the rest of your pain go away that easily.

Phoebe: So do I. You murdering witch!

(Phoebe smacks Paige in the face.)

(The hologram disappears.)

Phoebe: That’s not fair, I was under the influence of evil.

Barbas: Yes, you were, but then it seems like you girls so often are under the influence of one thing or another.

(Another hologram appears.)

[The hologram shows:]

[Scene: Womb Raider (4.21). Police Station.]

Inspector Miles: Your husband fits the classic profile of a deadbeat dad.

(He turns away and a flame appears in Phoebe’s hand.)

Leo: Make it go out.

Phoebe: I can’t make it go out.

(Phoebe throws the fireball into a trash can.)

Darryl: Phoebe? I-I mean, fire!

(The hologram disappears.)

Barbas: Wait, you’re gonna love this one.

(Another hologram appears.)

(The hologram shows:)

[Scene: Bride and Gloom (3.13). Manor. Foyer.]

Marie: So glad you’re home. We have some new floral sketches we’d like you to see.

Leo: Now’s not really a good time.

Piper: They’re welcome to come in, Leo.

Craig: I’ve revisited the dinner menu, Piper, and you are going to be thrilled. I have some dynamic choices that I…

Piper: I want pigs in blankets.

(The wedding planners laugh.)

Marie: It’s nice to see a bride who still has a sense of humour this close to the big day.

Piper: No, I want pigs in blankets.

(Craig turns into a pig wearing a blanket. Marie screams.)

(The hologram disappears.)

Gideon: I frankly don’t see the relevance of any of this. It’s wholly beside the point.

Barbas: No, no, no. That is precisely the point. The Charmed Ones are so influenced by outside forces, how can we ever expect to continue to trust them to clean up after themselves?

Phoebe: We cleaned up after each and every one of those situations.

Barbas: But how close you came to not.

Aramis: Continue, Gideon.

Phoebe: (to Paige) Where is Leo?

[Scene: Underground. Chris is holding a demon over a firey pit. Leo is standing beside him.]

Chris: Barbas escaped the fires of hell, and so did you. I know he helped you.

Demon: Please, I don’t want to back down there. Don’t throw me back down there.

Leo: Chris, I don’t think this is the best way.

Chris: Last chance, Phinks.

Phinks: Okay, okay, okay, okay! Phantasms. We used phantasms.

Leo: How?

Phinks: Uh, Barbas buddied up to a couple of them down there. He used them to do stuff for him, you know, since they can travel back and forth and all.

Chris: What kind of stuff?

Phinks: I don’t know. I swear I don’t know! But whatever it was, he said it could resurrect him somehow. It could give him new life, permanently too, he said, if he won something.

Leo: The case. He must have used the phantasm to cut a deal with the demon members of the tribunal. We need proof.

Chris: What do you think he is?

Leo: He’s a demon. They’ll discredit him.

Chris: It’s better than nothing.

Leo: It’s a waste of time.

Chris: It’s the best we’ve got.

Leo: Then we need to do better.

Chris: Look… (Chris accidentally drops Phinks in the firey pit.) Shoot! Now look what you made me do!

Commercial Break

[Scene: Tribunal Council. They are watching another hologram.]

[Scene: House Call (5.13). Piper, Paige and Leo stand where the manor once was.]

Paige: Piper, what did you do with the house?

Piper: Oh my god. What have I done?

Leo: The spell, Piper. You need to reverse it fast.

Piper: I’m not sure I can.

Paige: Well, then you’d better make us disappear, because this one’s gonna be tough to explain.

Leo: You can do it, Piper. Come on.

Piper: “Let the object of objection return, so that its existence may be reaffirmed.”

(The manor appears around them.)

Paige: Nicely done.

(The hologram disappears.)

Gideon: So then, despite what Barbas would have you believe, regardless of outside influences, the sisters have always managed to protect magic, and therefore based upon all the evidence, we ask the tribunal, no, we demand that the cleaners be forced to reverse what they have done, that Lieutenant Morris be freed, and that The Charmed Ones be allowed to do what they have always done so well… cover their own tracks. Respectfully.

(Barbas claps.)

Barbas: Bravo! Really very compelling stuff, counsellor. In fact, I think that you’ve just successfully argued my case for me.

Paige: Now what’s he up to?

Barbas: Now, obviously this whole thing has now become much, much bigger than just a simple case of whether the good lieutenant bites the dust, because as we have just seen, the recklessness displayed by these three witches has now become of epidemic proportion.

Gideon: Objection! May I remind my counterpart that this is simply a question of whether or not the situation should be reversed. It is not an indictment on the Charmed Ones.

Barbas: Maybe it should be.

Phoebe: This is what he’s up to.

(Another hologram appears.)

Barbas: Voila!

[Scene: Witches in Tights (5.05). Building Roof. Superhero Phoebe is holding Edward Miller upside down over the edge.]

Edward: They don’t have to move! They can stay for a year! Ten years!

Phoebe: What about the cockroaches? Are you gonna do something about the cockroaches?

Edward: First thing tomorrow. Just please don’t drop me. Please!

(Cole appears behind Phoebe.)

Cole: Uh, Phoebe?

Phoebe: Cole. What are you doing here?

Cole: Well, I got a call from one of the tenants saying that Wonder Woman was terrorising the landlord. What the hell are you doing?

Phoebe: Well, I’m teaching my buddy here how important it is to be a better person.

Cole: I don’t know what’s going on here, but this is not you, literally.

Phoebe: Are you kidding? This is better than me. This is new and improved me. Now not only can I help my readers, but I can help the entire city.

Cole: Careful. He’s got ears.

Phoebe: Oh, please, relax. The only thing he can hear right now is the blood rushing to his brain. (Phoebe pulls Edward up and throws him onto the roof.) Okay, Cole, I gotta go, because I’ve got a lot of loyal readers that need my help. Okay?

Cole: Okay.

(Phoebe whizzes off and jumps from roof to roof.)

(The hologram disappears.)

Barbas: And last, but by no means least, where were the Charmed Ones to clean up this mess?

(Another hologram appears.)

(The hologram shows:)

[Scene: Sam I Am (5.09). Bar. Cole is sitting at the bar, unshaven, drinking a shot of whiskey. Two thugs with shotguns walk in.]

Thug #1: All your valuables, all your money! Hurry up! Watches, wallets.

(The bartender reaches behind the bar and pulls out a gun. He points it at the thugs and before he can shoot, is shot down by Thug #1.) Come on, nothing’s changed. Give me the money. Hurry up!

(A biker makes a run for the exit and Thug #2 shoots continually trying to hit the biker. The biker runs past Cole and a bullet shoots straight through his chest, breaking the glass of whiskey in his hand. The thug looks at his gun, wondering how Cole is still alive. The bullet wound in Cole magically heals. He turns to the thugs and telekinetically sends the thugs crashing against the wall. Everyone runs for the exit. Thug #1 reaches for his gun and Cole throws an energy ball, incinerating him.)

(The hologram disappears.)

Phoebe: That is absurd. That was Cole. We weren’t responsible for that. We weren’t even there.

Barbas: Ah, but you were there, Phoebe. It was your cold rejection of his love that drove him to that reckless despair. So I say that you were responsible. Hexes, possession, evil influences, affairs of the heart. I say we’re lucky that all the magic has not been exposed beyond repair long before now. If we want to protect all that we are, all that this tribunal stands for, then I say we should not be just deciding the fate of some poor, pathetic mortal. No, we should be deciding the fate of these three, and whether they should ever be permitted to practice magic again.

Aramis: So be it.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Manor. Attic. Leo and Chris are there. Leo is looking through the Book of Shadows.]

Chris: Okay, I get the fact that Barbas used the phantasm to cut a deal so he could try the case. But that still doesn’t explain how he set up the girls.

Leo: To get it to possess the killer, so the sisters would get onto him.

Chris: But that’s only part of it. Alright? How did he even know Darryl was under investigation in the first place?

Leo: There is nothing in here about phantasms that we don’t already know.

Chris: Hey! Did you listen to a word I just said?

Leo: What?

Chris: Never mind.

Leo: You know what? This is ridiculous, okay. It’s obvious you hate my guts, Chris. I understand. I’m a horrible father in the future, okay, but there’s nothing I can do about that right now. So can we concentrate on working together to save Darryl and save the girls, please?

Chris: Fine.

Leo: Great. Alright, let’s start with what we know. How about phantasms?

Chris: Wait, that’s it. Phantasms, plural. Phinks said Barbas buddied up to a couple of them, right? Well, that means there must be another one out there for us to find.

Leo: See? I knew we could work together.

[Scene: Tribunal Council.]

Gideon: Are you sure about this?

Paige: Yeah. If they’re gonna put us on trial too, it might be the only way to save Darryl. We have to stand on our record.

Phoebe: If all the good we’ve done in the last six years isn’t good enough, then nothing is.

Gideon: Very well. (to Barbas) Your witness.

Barbas: Now, let’s see. So many holograms, so little time.

Thrask: Barbas.

Barbas: Oh, well, I guess I should ask one of the cleaners a few quick questions.

Crill: As you wish.

(Cleaner #1 appears in the witness chair.)

Barbas: You have been assigned to watch The Charmed Ones since they first became witches, have you not?

Cleaner #1: That is correct.

Barbas: Would Lieutenant Morris be the first policeman to die in order to clean up one of their little magical messes.

Cleaner #1: No.

Phoebe: Uh-oh.

(A hologram appears.)

(The hologram shows:)

[Scene: D�j� vu All Over Again (1.22). Manor. Foyer. Piper and Phoebe are there.]

Piper: Are you okay?

Phoebe: Yeah. (They look in the living room to see Andy laying on the floor.) Oh.

(They run over to Andy and Piper checks his pulse.)

Piper: Oh my god. He’s dead.

(The hologram ends.)

Barbas: Truly tragic. That was their sister Prue’s first true love. I wonder whatever happened to her.

(Phoebe goes to stand up.)

Gideon: Don’t. It’s not worth it.

Barbas: Anyone else?

Cleaner #1: Yes. Inspector Reece. We had to keep a close watch on him.

(Another hologram appears.)

[Scene: Death Takes A Halliwell (3.16). Manor. Foyer. Phoebe opens the front door. Inspector Reece stands there.]

Phoebe: Inspector. How can I help you?

Inspector Reece: You can tell me where to find Cole Turner. I know he’s alive, and I know he’s in town.

Phoebe: Really.

Inspector Reece: Yeah, really. Want to know how? Because his former landlady was found brutally murdered at his address.

Phoebe: Oh my god. That’s awful.

Inspector Reece: Awful like you can’t imagine.

Phoebe: I know what you’re thinking. And I know what this looks like. And I am, I am so sorry for what happened to…

Inspector Reece: You’re sorry? Her eyes were frozen open in terror. Her skull was punctured in two places. And by the time the police got there, most of her brain had spilled out onto the floor. Be sick, be horrified, but don’t stand there lying to me and say you’re sorry. I’m gonna find him, Miss Halliwell, and then I’m gonna bust his ass. And then I’m gonna bust yours.

(The hologram disappears.)

Barbas: And did he find him?

Cleaner #1: No, he did not.

[Scene: Death Takes A Halliwell (3.16). Church. A Seeker comes up from behind Inspector Reece and bites him on the neck. Phoebe and Piper stand behind locked gates.]

Piper: Open the gate!

(The hologram ends.)

Barbas: We were lucky one of those demons came along and tied up that loose end, aren’t we? It’s a rhetorical question. Never mind.

Cleaner #1: There was another. An FBI agent.

Barbas: That’s right.

(Another hologram appears.)

(The hologram shows:)

[Scene: Witch Way Now? (4.22). Manor. Dining room. Piper, Phoebe, Paige and Agent Jackman are there. He slides a thick folder to the girls.]

Agent Jackman: In case you’re wondering, that’s just a copy.

(They flip through the file to find photos of them.)

Phoebe: Nice way to engender trust, Agent Jackman.

Agent Jackman: If I wanted to expose you, I could’ve done that six months ago when that file first crossed my desk.

Paige: Expose us as what?

Agent Jackman: Witches. It’s the only logical explanation for all the unsolved cases, the missing persons, the mysterious deaths.

(The hologram ends.)

Paige: That is out of context. He was a witch hunter, he tried to kill us.

Barbas: The only context I’m interested in is what happened to yet another officer of the law. Witness.

(Another hologram appears.)

[Scene: Witch Way Now? (4.22). Park. Agent Jackman shoots his gun at Phoebe. The bullet flies through the air in slow motion. Cole near by, uses one of his powers to switch Phoebe and Agent Jackman. The bullet hits Agent Jackman in the chest.]

(The hologram disappears.)

Barbas: Seems like that stream of unsolved deaths left in the Charmed Ones’ wake just keeps right on growing, doesn’t it? So I guess the obvious question is how many more Inspectors must die before it comes to an end?

Gideon: Another rhetorical question?

Barbas: Actually, no. In fact, that is what I think becomes the salient question because the deaths could end with Lieutenant Morris. That’s what I think. What do you think?

Phoebe: Objection. Why should we care what he thinks?

Gideon: Phoebe.

Crill: I care.

Phoebe: Yeah, well, of course you care. You’re a demon.

Adair: I care too.

Phoebe: Oh. Well, then never mind.

Cleaner #1: I think that there will always be another Inspector Sheridan to pick up on their trail.

Paige: Wait a minute.

Barbas: Unless…

Cleaner #1: It ends with Morris.

Phoebe: (to Paige) What?

Barbas: No further questions, rhetorical or otherwise. (Barbas waves his hand and Cleaner #1 disappears.) Oh, sorry. Did you have more questions of him?

Gideon: Yes, as a matter of fact.

Paige: No. We’re fine. Carry on.

Gideon: Paige, what are you doing?

Barbas: Unfortunately for us, ending the stream of deaths with Morris only solves our problem of the past. It does absolutely nothing to protect us against our future problems. So how much longer can we afford to tempt the gods of fate with the recklessness of the Charmed Ones, and at what point does that day finally come when it’s just simply too late to clean up after one of their little magical messes? And then all of magic is exposed to the world forever because of them, and that is the question you’re going to have to answer because I rest my case.

Aramis: Gideon.

Gideon: Nothing further.

Crill: We will return with the verdict.

(The tribunal council disappear.)

Phoebe: Okay, this better be good.

(Paige nods.)

Paige: Leo! (Leo and Chris orb in.) Hey, you guys are speaking now.

Chris: Uh, let’s not make a big deal about it, okay?

Paige: Fine. What’d you find out?

Leo: Okay, you know that phantasm you vanquished? Apparently Barbas sent it so you’d follow it.

Chris: And apparently he gets a get out of hell free card too if he wins the case.

Phoebe: I knew this was a setup.

Leo: But we can’t prove it, so we’ve been trying to find another phantasm, but we can’t seem to…

Paige: If it’s anywhere, it has to be inside Inspector Sheridan. It’s the only way Barbas knew she’d be in the right place at the right time.

Phoebe: Okay, go get her. Bring her back here. Hurry.

(Leo and Chris orb out.)

[Scene: Jail Cell. Darryl and Sheila are there hugging. Piper suddenly appears.]

Darryl: Piper. What are you doing here? How’d you do that?

Piper: That’s why they call it magic school. Come on. I’m gonna get you out of here.

Darryl: What?

Piper: Right now. Let’s go.

Sheila: You mean, just leave?

Piper: That’s the idea.

Darryl: No.

Piper: What do you mean, no? We’ll figure it out. We’ll fix it later.

Darryl: Uh, no, Piper. I can’t. What if you can’t fix this? What am I supposed to do then? Run? Hide? That’s not right. I’m no fugitive. I’m a cop.

(Piper disappears.)

[Cut to the tribunal council. Piper appears behind Phoebe and Paige.]

Piper: How did I get here?

Phoebe: Piper! What are you doing here?

Piper: I don’t know.

Paige: Why don’t you go back? Go.

Thrask: She can’t. We have brought her to hear the judgment.

Adair: Since it impacts all of you.

Phoebe: This doesn’t look good.

Paige: Where the hell is Leo?

Aramis: As to whether or not the Charmed Ones shall be allowed to continue to practice magic, the judgment is… in favour of the sisters.

Crill: But against the Lieutenant. The trail of exposure must end with him.

[Scene: Jail Cell. Darryl and Sheila are there. The lawyer opens the cell door.]

Lawyer: I’m afraid it’s time.

Sheila: No, no, no, no. Please don’t take him.

Darryl: Please, baby. Please.

Sheila: Please don’t. No, no, no.

(They kiss and Darryl walks out of the cell where two guards are waiting. Sheila cries.)

Commercial Break

[Scene: Tribunal Council.]

Phoebe: You have got to be kidding me, right? I mean, you can’t really be doing this.

Gideon: Phoebe, they have already.

Phoebe: Look, he doesn’t care about protecting magic. All he cares about is himself and getting out of purgatory. So not only did he set us up, but he set you up too.

Barbas: Always trying to blame somebody else, aren’t you?

Phoebe: You son of a…

Gideon: Listen to me, you have to stop this. Do you understand? They haven’t taken away your powers yet, but they still can.

Paige: Then let them. If this is the thanks that we get for all of our good work, if this is the way the system works, then you can keep our stupid powers.

Gideon: Paige!

Piper: No, she’s right. If Darryl dies, that’s it. We’re done, we quit.

Barbas: You know, that would solve any of our future exposure issues, now, wouldn’t it?

Aramis: You’d have us erase your memories? Change all that you know?

Adair: All that you are?

Phoebe: If necessary.

Aramis: Very well.

[Scene: Execution Room. 11:58. Darryl is strapped to a chair. A guard turns a machine on.]

[Scene: Tribunal Council. Leo and Chris orb in with Inspector Sheridan.]

INSPECTOR SHERIDAN: Get off of me! What is this? Wh-where am I?

Chris: That’s a nice act. It’s very convincing.

Barbas: Objection! He cannot bring a mortal down here. It is outrageous.

Leo: Sit down and shut up.

Crill: What is the meaning of this?

Chris: Watch.

(Chris pushes Inspector Sheridan onto the blue part of the floor and a hologram appears.)

(The hologram shows:)

[Scene: Police Station. Inspector Sheridan sits at her desk. A phantasm appears behind her and enters her body. She gets up and walks over to a filing cabinet. She pulls out Darryl’s file.]

(The hologram disappears.)

Inspector Sheridan: (to Barbas) What now?

Barbas: Oh, surrounded by idiots.

(Leo throws a potion at Inspector Sheridan and the phantasm escapes her body. Chris holds up the wand and sucks the phantasm into it. Inspector Sheridan faints.)

Piper: Huh. Guess there’s some cleaning up to do there.

Aramis: What do you have to say for yourself, Barbas?

Barbas: I’m a demon. What do you expect?

Gideon: Based on the evidence, I beg you to reverse the decision before it’s too late.

[Scene: Execution room. Only seconds till midnight. They put a needle into Darryl’s arm. Darryl squeezes his fists and closes his eyes.]

Sheila’s Voice: Darryl.

(Darryl opens his eyes. He’s no longer in the execution room, but sitting at his desk in the police station. Sheila stands in front of him.)

Sheila: Did you forget we were gonna go out tonight?

(Darryl gets up and hugs Sheila. Inspector Sheridan walks past. The Cleaner walks in near by and looks around. Satisfied with everything, he disappears.)

[Cut to the tribunal council.]

Aramis: It is done.

Adair: And as for you, Barbas…

Barbas: Oh, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Now just because I’m the one who set this whole thing up does not necessarily mean that I am not right. The Charmed Ones are reckless with magic.

Paige: Oh, please.

Barbas: You’ve seen it, I’ve seen it, we’ve all seen it time after time, and it doesn’t even include what got them into this whole mess in the first place.

Phoebe: Uh, I think that would be you.

Barbas: Ah, Phoebe, that would be you, with your ongoing zeal to force your premonitions, to short-circuit the process, take the easy way, and for what? Each and every time, it was for personal gain. I don’t know, but it just seems to me like selfish behaviour like that, there’s got to be some consequences, or, well… what’s the point?

(The tribunal look at each other.)

Crill: Phoebe will be stripped of her powers.

Phoebe: What?

ADAIR: Just your active powers. Empathy, premonitions.

Thrask: Levitation.

Adair: You can earn them back, but only if you’re more careful with your powers.

Aramis: If you’re all more careful.

(The tribunal vanish.)

Paige: You can’t just say that and leave.

Piper: Gideon, get them back here now.

Phoebe: No. It’s okay. I mean, it might be kind of refreshing to not rely on my powers so much anymore, you know? Besides, they’re not the only ones that think I’ve been misusing them.

Piper: Are you sure?

Phoebe: Yeah. Let’s get out of here.

(They orb out.)

Barbas: Ah, looks like I did just enough to win the case. You know what that means? That means I’m back! Oh, I know, counsellor. I know. You’re afraid. (Barbas waves his hand in front of Gideon.) That your greatest fear is that somehow they’re going to find out that you’re the one that’s after Piper’s son. But don’t be worried. I won’t tell anyone. I promise. Nary a soul.

(Barbas flames out.)