Hyde School Reunion

Written by: David Simkins
Transcribed by: Shay Fitzpatrick

Season 6, Episode 17
Episode Number: 128

[Scene: Manor. Piper’s room. Paige is there looking at Phoebe’s high school year book.]

Paige: Interesting. (She hears a toilet flush.) Are you okay in there?

(Piper walks out of the bathroom.)

Piper: I don’t remember having morning sickness this bad with Wyatt.

Paige: Oh, honey, that sucks. (Piper sits down next to Paige.) I’m just going over some pictures here, trying to educate myself before I go to Phoebe’s reunion.

Piper: Hmm, Todd Marks. I wonder if he’s even still alive.

Paige: Alive? What kind of school did she go to, anyway?

Piper: Not a bad one, actually. It’s just that Phoebe tended the hang out with the bad boy crowd. You know, anything to piss off Grams.

Paige: Was he her first love?

Piper: More like first lust. Talk about crazy though. Rick Gittridge, he was kind of the leader of their little gang.

Paige: Phoebe was in a gang?

Piper: Not the drive by kind, but he was kind of the type. If he is at the reunion I’d stay away from him.

Paige: This is so weird. It’s a whole different side of Miss Phoebe.

Piper: Yeah, I think she missed mum in her life more than Prue or I did. And the more Grams tried to control her, the more she became rebellious.

(They hear Phoebe scream. They run into the hallway. Phoebe is running towards them holding a dress.)

Phoebe: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

Piper: What happened?

Phoebe: What happened? You wanna know what happened? The dry cleaner ruined my dress for tonight. That’s what happened.

Piper: Phoebe, you know better than to scream in this house if there isn’t a demon.

Phoebe: I’m sorry, but what am I supposed to wear to the reunion tonight?

Paige: How about some prison stripes.

Phoebe: You told her about the shoplifting?

Paige: You little thief.

Phoebe: No, I acted out. Okay, now back to what I’m supposed to wear tonight.

Paige: I don’t know, why don’t you try your little black suit, the one with the thigh slit. You know, sexy, looks successful.

Paige: No, I think black’s too threatening. I’ll be in my closet.

(Chris orbs in.)

Piper: Chris, hi.

Chris: Hey, look, I need your help. I think I’ve got scabbars on my tail.

Piper: Oh, well, I have some hydrogen peroxide in my bathroom.

Chris: No, Scabbar demons. I went undercover to follow a lead on who turns Wyatt but I think they’re onto me. Alright, I need a cloaking spell just in case. Is the book still in the attic?

Paige: Yeah, last I saw.

Piper: You want me to help you? (Chris goes upstairs.) He hates me.

Paige: No, he doesn’t.

Piper: Yeah, he does.

(Piper and Paige walk into Piper’s room.)

Paige: He’s just distracted, that’s all, by you know, imminent death.

Piper: That’s no excuse. I mean, he’s been avoiding me for weeks, he won’t even look at me. What could I have done in the future that would be so bad?

Paige: Maybe he should have a father son talk.

Piper: No, I can’t do that to Leo. He had a hard enough time letting go. Besides, he doesn’t even know that I’m pregnant.

Paige: I know, but don’t boys need their…

Piper: I know, and that’s why I called my father so he could figure out why his surly new grandson hates me. (Piper’s stomach grumbles.) Uh-oh.

Paige: I got you.

(Piper and Paige go into the bathroom. Phoebe walks in holding a dress.)

Phoebe: Guys, how about this one? Okay. (Phoebe sees her yearbook and reads the signatures in it.) I remember this poem. “Those who mock who I am, let them always remember when.”

(Phoebe changes into her teenage self and then changes back.)

Opening Credits

[Scene: Manor. Foyer. Piper opens the door. Victor is standing there.]

Piper: Hi.

Victor: Piper, honey, good to see you.

(They hug.)

Piper: Good to see you.

(He sees her pregnant stomach.)

Victor: Oh, whoa, you’re pregnant!

Piper: Yeah, it looks that way, huh?

Victor: When did this happen?

Piper: Oh, well, you know, I’ve been meaning to call you but, you know… Leo’s the father.

Victor: Leo? I thought you guys split up.

Piper: We did.

Victor: Well, then how… I don’t understand.

(They walk into the living room.)

Piper: Uh, he was dying and I was crying… Um, it’s all very complicated.

(They sit down.)

Victor: So Leo, he’s, um, moved on?

Piper: Yeah, but I’m happy for him, he really wanted to go.

Victor: He wanted to die?

Piper: No, no, no, no, he’s not dead, he’s just up there being a full time Elder.

Victor: He doesn’t know about this?

Piper: No, no, not yet. Did I mention this was very all complicated? The point is he’s not around.

Victor: Was he ever?

Piper: Were you? Sorry.

Victor: No, no, no, I deserve that. I wasn’t around enough for you girls, but I want to make up for that with Wyatt and this little…

Piper: It’s a boy. Chris, actually.

Victor: Chris? Why’d you choose that name?

Piper: I don’t know, and he won’t tell me. He’s very secretive about the future. He’s actually the reason I asked you to come. See, he, um, hates me and he doesn’t want to talk to me and I need you to find out why.

Victor: I don’t understand your wiccan ways, but I’ll try. (He leans towards Piper’s stomach.) Hello, Chris. Chris. Hello, Chris. Can you hear me?

Chris’s Voice: Is someone calling me?

Piper: Yeah, uh, sweetie, could you come here a sec?

Victor: Geez, he can come out?

(Chris walks in.)

Chris: Can we air this out, ’cause I gotta… Grandpa!

(Chris goes over to Victor and hugs him.)

[Scene: School Reunion. Phoebe and Paige are outside walking towards the front door.]

Phoebe: Okay, Paige, I should warn you, there’s gonna be a lot of people in there that used to hate me.

Paige: They’re not gonna hate you. San Francisco reads your paper every day and they love you.

Phoebe: I never dropped smoke bombs on San Francisco. Pep rallies, I hated them.

Paige: Alright, well, after we’re done tonight, they’re gonna rename the gym just for you. Come on, conquering hero.

(They walk inside. A woman gets her name tag and turns around.)

Woman: Phoebe, hi. Wow, you look great.

Phoebe: Oh, really? Thanks.

Woman: Well, see you inside.

Phoebe: Yeah. That would be great.

(The woman walks away.)

Paige: Who’s that?

Phoebe: I have no idea.

(Phoebe and Paige walk over to the name tag table. A teacher is standing there.)

Teacher: Well, I didn’t expect to see you here, Miss Halliwell. Still testing the boundaries of the criminal justice system are we?

Phoebe: Hi, Miss Hickock. No, actually, I’m a columnist now.

Miss Hickock: Oh.

Phoebe: I give advice. (Miss Hickock laughs a little.) On relationships.

(She laughs harder.)

Miss Hickock: I’m sorry, dear. I just never figured you for the advice giving type. You certainly never took it. (She hands Paige the name tags.) Enjoy.

(Phoebe and Paige walk away.)

Paige: Gym teacher?

Phoebe: How did you know she was a gym teacher?

Paige: Alright, lady, let’s go in there, and show them your sordid past a thing or two.

(They walk into the room. It is decorated with balloons and streamers and is packed with people.)

Phoebe: Oh my god, everybody’s looking at me.

Paige: Uh, yeah, that’s because you’re a celebrity and you look fabulous and they probably all wanna be.

Phoebe: Nice try. I’m an empath, I feel hate.

(A woman called Ramona excitedly runs over to Phoebe.)

Ramona: Phoebe! Phoebe Halliwell! Oh my gosh, I can’t believe you showed up!

(Ramona hugs her.)

Phoebe: Hi.

Ramona: You’re so skinny. How’d you stay so skinny? Who’s this?

Paige: I’m Paige Matthews, her long lost sister.

Ramona: Oh, wow. Are you famous too? You look famous. Okay, so, um, dweeb time, but, um, since I knew you when, can I have your autograph?

Phoebe: Oh, yeah, of course. Uh, I usually charge twenty dollars for it.

Ramona: I think I have a twenty here somewhere.

Phoebe: No, I’m kidding!

(Ramona laughs.)

Ramona: I used to do everything Phoebe said. Hey, remember that night when you snuck me into the country club in the trunk of your car? And then you left me there so that you could go make out with Todd on the golf course.

Phoebe: Yeah, I’m sorry about that. Actually, I’m sorry about a lot of the tricks we used to play on you.

Ramona: Tricks? You made me feel like part of the gang. Those were the best times of my life.

Paige: So I think you need to tell me more about this gang. What else did she do?

(Todd walks up to them.)

Todd: One time she broke into the principal’s office, just to make out with some guy on his desk.

Phoebe: See, now I remember that it was you that broke into the principal’s office and I just tagged along out of curiosity. Ah, where’s Paula?

Todd: She’s around somewhere.

Ramona: This is so awesome! It’s like the gang is all back together again. Well, almost.

Paige: Oh, yeah, where’s the ringleader?

Phoebe: Rick, good old Rick. Where is Rick?

Todd: I heard he got picked up for a liquor store robbery.

Phoebe: Oh my god, are you kidding? Did he do it?

Todd: Only what I read in your paper. And I read everything you write.

Phoebe: Thanks. I’m flattered. So what are you doing now?

(He pulls out a business card.)

Todd: I’m a personal injury lawyer.

Phoebe: Wow, that sounds interesting.

Todd: Well, it’s not. But it’s legal, just barely. Pays the mortgage. I miss the fun we used to have.

Phoebe: Yeah, me too.

(Paula walks over to Todd.)

Paula: Todd. There you are, sweetie. (to Phoebe) There you are. I was wondering if you had the nerve to show up.

Phoebe: What do you mean nerve?

Paula: Oh, you’re the talk of the reunion. You know, you can fool San Francisco with your pithy advice, but you can’t fool us. We all know you, sweetie.

Todd: That’s enough, Paula.

Phoebe: What is that supposed to mean?

Paula: It means you’re a fake. The only thing you were ever known for was lying and ditching and stealing boyfriends.

Paige: Phoebe, are you gonna let someone with a giant helmet that passes for hair talk to you like that?

Ramona: God, Paula, just because Todd had a thing for Phoebe, you don’t have to be so mean.

Paula: I’m not being mean, I’m doing her a favour. To the rest of the world, you might be Ask Phoebe, but to us you’ll always be freebie.

(Phoebe walks away.)

Paige: Are you okay?

(Paige follows Phoebe.)

Paula: Hey, let’s dance.

[Cut to the hallway. Phoebe and Paige walk in.]

Paige: Hey. Why didn’t you just tell that chick to go screw herself? (Phoebe flashes back to her teenage self and then flashes back.) Phoebe?

Phoebe: Okay, what just happened?

Paige: You tell me.

Phoebe: I have no idea. I was just standing here and then I had some weird high school flashback.

Paige: Yeah, your whole body just flashed back.

Phoebe: What? Are you kidding me? I just felt…

Paige: Pissed?

Phoebe: Very.

Paige: Well, as someone whose seen Carrie, both versions, I’d say the reunion is over.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Piper, Chris and Victor are sitting at the table.]

Victor: So we’re close?

Chris: Yeah. You’re awesome, Grandpa.

Victor: (to Piper) Did you hear that? Awesome.

Chris: Yeah, after the event happened, we got really close.

Piper: What event?

Chris: I can’t tell you.

Piper: Is this, um, event my fault? Is that why you’re treating me like a non-person?

Chris: I can’t talk about it, it will mess with the future.

Victor: But you did say I was awesome, right? You can talk about that?

Chris: Yeah. You’re the best, I love hanging out with you.

Victor: I gotta admit, I’m a little surprised. I mean, it’s no secret I wasn’t the greatest dad. It means a lot to me that I could do something to make up for it.

Chris: You do.

Piper: After the event.

Chris: Right.

Piper: That you won’t tell me about.

Chris: I told you, I can’t talk about it, okay?

Victor: Hey, don’t talk to your mother like that, okay?

Chris: You’re right. I’m sorry.

Paige’s Voice: Piper!

[Cut to the foyer. Phoebe and Paige walk in through the front door. Piper and Victor walk in from the kitchen.]

Piper: Hey, what’s going on?

Phoebe: Hi, daddy.

Victor: Hi, sweetie.

(They hug.)

Paige: Okay, I hate to cut this reunion short, I think we’ve had enough of those for today. Now you go upstairs until we figure this out.

Phoebe: Bye, daddy.

(Phoebe goes upstairs. Chris walks in.)

Chris: What happened?

Paige: Well, you’ve heard of recapturing your youth, I think Phoebe’s youth is trying to recapture her.

Piper: Explain.

Paige: I don’t know, it’s like one minute she was totally normal, the next it’s like she’s freaky Phoebe.

Chris: Great. Who else saw?

Paige: No one. She changed back before anyone noticed.

Victor: I’m having a little trouble keeping up here. Phoebe’s being chased by, what, demons?

Paige: Maybe inner demons or a spell gone wrong? It seemed to happen after someone named Paula Marks called her ‘freebie’.

Piper: Oh, yeah, that’ll do it.

Paige: You wanna go upstairs with me and check the book, see if there’s anything?

Piper: Okay.

Chris: You two go ahead. I need to get back to the Scabbar demons before they know I’m missing.

Piper: Hey, wait, what, and leave your awesome grandpa alone? Grab a sandwich, grab a beer, get an answer.

(Victor pulls out two cigars from his coat.)

Victor: Cubans?

[Cut to Phoebe’s room. Phoebe is walking around her room.]

Phoebe: I am not that person anymore. I am not, so whatever you think you’re doing, we’re… (She walks past the mirror and her teenage reflection shows up in the mirror. Phoebe faces the mirror and sees her normal self.) What is happening to me? (Her phone rings and she answers it.) Hello, this is Phoebe… I think.

Todd: Hey, where’d you go? Are you okay?

Phoebe: Oh, yeah, yeah, I’m fine.

Todd: Listen, I’m sorry about Paula. It always burned her up, you know, you and me together.

Phoebe: Yeah, hey, listen…

Todd: The only reason I came to this thing was because of you, hoping I’d see you again. (Silence.) You there?

Phoebe: Yeah. I need to ask you a question. Um, was I really a different person when you knew me?

Todd: Different? How do you mean?

Phoebe: Well, you know, what Paula said.

Todd: Phoebe, we were kids. We were young, we were dumb, we didn’t let anything stand in our way.

Phoebe: Yeah, I remember.

Todd: I don’t know about you, but I miss it. When was the last time you were wild, you know? Really wild. The way we used to be.

Phoebe: Actually, quite recently, to tell you the truth.

Paula’s Voice: Who is that? Who are you talking to? Is this Freebie?

(Phoebe changes into her teenage self.)

Phoebe: You bet your ass. And I’m coming to get you, bitch.

(Phoebe hangs up and goes over to the window. She climbs out.)

[Cut to outside the conservatory. Chris and Victor are there smoking the cigars. Chris coughs.]

Victor: Sorry, bad idea.

Chris: It’s cool, it’s just strong.

Victor: I was just trying to help us bond a little, you know.

Chris: We don’t need help bonding, we’re cool.

Victor: In the future, but I haven’t been there yet, you know. I’m feeling a little out of sync here. Um, well, are you hungry? Do you wanna grab a bite?

Chris: Yeah. Yeah, that’d be great. Just, um, let me change first, okay?

Victor: Okay.

Chris: Uh, listen, about those things, you might wanna pick up a different habit. To avoid future problems if you know what I mean.

Victor: Oh, geez. (He quickly puts the cigar out.) Thanks for the tip.

(They go inside. Phoebe climbs down the trellis.)

[Scene: School Reunion. Teenage Phoebe walks in the room. Everyone turns and stares. She walks over to Todd.]

Todd: Phoebe? When you said you were feeling wild you weren’t kidding. What happened to your hair, your clothes?

(Phoebe kisses him.)

Paula: Oh my god. Get off him!

(Paula pushes Phoebe to the floor.)

Ramona: This isn’t high school, Phoebe, they are married now. (to Todd) And what the hell are you thinking?

Paula: No, no, no, let her go. Todd’s a personal injury attorney and I have a hundred witnesses here. I’m sure Ask Freebie has very deep pockets.

Phoebe: Yeah, well, I’d rather be rich than a bitch.

(Suddenly Paula turns into a dog and runs through the room.)

Ramona: What the hell was that?

Phoebe: I have no idea but that was so cool. “The past is the future and the future is the past, let’s welcome back the senior class.” (Everyone starts dancing.) That’s more like it.

Commercial Break

[Scene: School Reunion. The party is getting out of hand with people hanging off the chandelier, writing on walls, break dancing. Phoebe and Todd are making out under the table.]

Todd: I haven’t felt this way since…

Phoebe: Homecoming game. Underneath the bleachers.

Todd: Yeah, and crowd cheering. How did you make this happen?

Phoebe: Magic. I think I’m a witch.

Todd: You’re a witch, huh? How come I’m not scared of you?

Phoebe: ‘Cause you’re under my spell.

(Paige orbs in near by.)

Paige: Phoebe? Phoebe?

(Someone dives across a table. Paige calls Piper on her phone.)

Piper: Hello?

Paige: Okay, I found Phoebe. I have good news and I have bad news.

Piper: Give me the good.

Paige: Well, I think I now know what Phoebe was like as a teenager. That’s also the bad news.

Piper: How bad is it?

Paige: In a word… bad.

(Phoebe sees Paige.)

Phoebe: Let’s get out of here.

(Phoebe and Todd get out from under the table and head for the door.)

Paige: Phoebe! Phoebe!

Ramona: Hey, wait for me!

[Cut to outside. Phoebe, Todd and Ramona are running down the street.]

Ramona: So where are we going, guys?

Todd: Anywhere. I don’t care, I don’t want this night to end.

Phoebe: The night is young. (The cops pull up outside the reunion.) I can’t get busted.

Todd: Don’t worry, I’m gonna get us outta here.

Phoebe: Wait, you wanna steal a cop car?

Todd: No, not steal, borrow.

(Phoebe sees Paige walk out of the building.)

Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, great idea, let’s go.

(Phoebe, Todd and Ramona get in the car and drive off.)

Paige: Phoebe!

[Scene: Restaurant. Chris and Victor are sitting at a table. A waiter is taking their order.]

Chris: Uh, what is the gi-got?

Waiter: Ze gigot is your choice. Leg of lamb or mutton.

Chris: Oh, what is that, meat?

Waiter: Yes, is meat. Comes from a sheep, you know? Baa-baa.

Victor: Why don’t you just bring us a couple of steaks, please. Medium. Thank you. (The waiter walks away.) Sorry, I thought you might like a fancy meal.

Chris: Why?

Victor: Trying to live up to my rep.

Chris: With cigars and mutton? Sorry, grandpa, that’s not how you did it.

Victor: Did I take you to batting cages?

Chris: No.

Victor: Strip clubs?

Chris: God, no.

Victor: What did I do? You gotta tell me because I am crashing here.

Chris: Nothing. You just… we talked.

Victor: Oh.

Chris: Look, we should just get back. I’m under cover with some demons who are gonna be looking for me very soon.

Victor: No, no, no, wait. Let’s talk. We need to talk.

Chris: Let me guess. Piper asked you here to find out what’s wrong with me, right?

Victor: She just wants to know why she’s such a terrible mother.

Chris: She what? No, no, she’s great.

Victor: Then why are you treating her like she doesn’t exist? Chris. If what we do is talk, talk to me.

Chris: Because she doesn’t exist in my future, okay? She dies when I turn fourteen.

Victor: That, that’s the event? How?

Chris: I can’t, alright. I’ve already said way too much. The point is after I save Wyatt, I have to back to where she isn’t. I can’t get close to her because I don’t wanna lose her again.

Victor: Maybe that’s all the more reason to get close to her.

[Scene: An abandoned gas station. Phoebe, Todd and Ramona have parked the cop car there. Cop cars drive past outside.]

Todd: Proving once again that we are smarter than the cops.

Ramona: Can I play with the siren now?

Phoebe: No. I’m cleaning the fingerprints, we’ve gotta ditch the car here.

Todd: Hey, what’s the rush? The coast is clear, the night is young and so are you.

(Phoebe and Todd kiss.)

Ramona: Um, guys, I’m not gonna crawl in a truck again so you two can make out. Hey, we could T.P. Gabby Fernandez’s house, how about that?

Todd: How about lame.

Phoebe: Yeah, I have to agree. This is a special night, we need imagination.

Ramona: Hey, Rick always said he had imagination.

Phoebe: That’s exactly what I was thinking.

Todd: This is reunion night. Let’s get the gang back together.

Ramona: Yeah, um, but Rick’s locked up in county.

Todd: So?

Ramona: So, the jail’s closed.

Phoebe: Well, just think of me as your get into jail free card.

Ramona: You wanna break in?

Phoebe: Just to say hi. It’s something to do, right?

Ramona: Right.

[Scene: Manor. Attic. Piper and Paige are there. Piper is looking through the Book of Shadows while Paige scrys for Phoebe.]

Paige: Damn it, I thought I had her. She’s on the move again.

Piper: Well, we better find her soon because we’re gonna need her if those Scabbar demons come after Chris. I can’t believe I let him go out with dad. What was I thinking?

Paige: Honey, you weren’t thinking, you were actually feeling which is allowed in this family.

(Chris orbs in with Victor who has a sick look on his face.)

Piper: You’re okay.

Victor: Who says I’m okay.

Chris: Don’t worry, you’ll get used to orbing in the future.

Piper: I thought something might have happened to you.

Chris: No, we’re fine, we just talked. Really, I’m fine.

Paige: Yeah, well, Phoebe’s not. She’s out there running around with her old gang.

Victor: I thought she was downstairs.

Piper: No, she’s out the window.

Paige: And even worse, she’s under the influence.

Chris: Of alcohol?

Paige: No, adolescence.

Piper: She stole a cop car as a prank.

Victor: That’s not a prank, that’s a felony.

Paige: Yeah, well, teen Phoebe also happens to have her adult powers and she cast a spell on her entire reunion class.

Chris: What?

Piper: Don’t worry, Paige was able to reverse it all, but…

(Piper stumbles back. Chris and Victor grab her arms.)

Chris: Are you okay?

Piper: Yeah, I’m just a little light headed.

Chris: Sorry. You know, about me.

Piper: Huh. Must have been some hell of a talk there.

Victor: Yeah. Go get off your feet, honey.

(Piper and Victor leave the room.)

Chris: Look, we need to stop Phoebe before she gets into some trouble we can’t get her out of.

Paige: I’m trying, she keeps moving, she keeps moving. Uh. (The crystal points to a place on the map.) I got her. (Two Scabbar demons appear and Chris orbs out. They spit yellow acid-like goo and it hits a cabinet, smashing the glass. Paige kneels behind a table. Chris orbs in behind her.) Glass!

(A piece of broken glass orbs into one of the Scabbar demon’s stomach. It just melts away, not harming him. He spits more acid goo and it hits the table, melting it away. Piper and Victor run in.)

Piper: Get back!

(Piper pushes Victor back out the door. Piper tries to blow one of the demons up. The other demon spits towards Paige.)

Paige: Icky stuff!

(The yellow goo orbs back to the demon, vanquishing him. The other one disappears.)

Piper: Icky stuff?

Paige: It worked.

(Victor walks back in. Chris hands Paige the Book of Shadows.)

Chris: Here. Sorry about all this.

Piper: It’s okay, kids are messy.

Chris: They’ll be back.

Piper: Then we’ll handle it.

Paige: Uh-oh. (Paige picks up the melted scrying crystal.) Any idea how we’re gonna find Phoebe now?

[Scene: County Jail. A room. A man and two women are waiting there. A guard brings Rick into the room.]

Rick: You’re not my lawyers.

Man: Well, Mr. Gittridge, we’re here at the request of your public defender. May I call you Rick?

Rick: No. You don’t look much like a defence team to me.

Guard: Sit down, Gittridge.

(Rick sits down and the guard leaves the room.)

Woman: Mr. Gittridge, did you at one time provide Phoebe Halliwell with a smoke bomb during a school assembly?

Rick: Alright, what is this? (The man and women laugh. One of the women morphs into teenage Phoebe. Rick jumps out of his chair.) Stay away from me. (Phoebe waves her hand and the other two morph into Todd and Ramona.) Geez.

(Rick picks up the chair.)

Todd: Chill out, Rick, it’s us.

Phoebe: We just came by to say hi.

Ramona: Hi.

(The guard comes back in the room and Rick hits him over the head with the chair. He closes the door.)

Rick: Alright, what the hell’s going on? How’d you guys do that?

Phoebe: Wait, are you crazy or just stupid?

Rick: Tell me how you did that!

Todd: It’s Phoebe, she does things like magic, but for real.

Rick: Wow. We’ll see how real..

Ramona: Um, this isn’t supposed to happen, it’s a prank. We just came to say hi.

Phoebe: You want me to use my magic to get you out of here?

(Rick unlocks the handcuffs with the keys hanging on the guard’s belt.)

Rick: Oh, I know you are. Only way you’re getting outta here too. In for a penny, in for a pound. Let’s go.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Abandoned Gas Station. A guard holding a shotgun walks in and looks around.]

Guard: All clear.

(Phoebe, Todd and Ramona walk in. Phoebe waves her hand at the guard and he changes into Rick.)

Rick: Sweet. What is this? Is this a spell or something?

Phoebe: Or something.

Rick: I need believed in much of anything before but I am a believer now.

Phoebe: Whatever. Have a good life. Come on, you guys.

Rick: Hey, wait, don’t get all attitudinal on me. It’s not like we did anything wrong here, guys.

Todd: Rick, you hit a cop.

Rick: That was an accident. You guys had me so freaked out with that magic, I didn’t know what was going on.

Ramona: He does have a point, Phoebe.

Rick: Yeah.

Phoebe: Don’t buy into his crap. He made us break him out of prison.

Rick: That was justice. You guys, I never hit no liquor store, I mean, I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Todd: You expect us to believe that?

Rick: I’m being straight with you. You guys, you know me. I’m a trouble maker, not an armed robber.

Phoebe: Could have fooled me.

Rick: Okay, I grabbed the shot gun to scare you. I was desperate to get out of there, be with you guys. I’m one of you.

Ramona: What do you think, Phoebe?

Phoebe: He’s capable of hurting people, that’s what I think.

Todd: I vote we let him stick with us.

Ramona: Just doesn’t seem right to leave him out.

Rick: It’s two out of three, babe. Guess we’re all back together again, huh? This is great.

[Scene: Manor. Attic. Piper and Chris are there. Piper puts a crystal on the window sill.]

Piper: The crystal’s should protect you. They won’t be able to find you as long as you stay in the attic.

Chris: You sure about that?

Piper: Well, I’m pretty sure.

Chris: Okay. Well, you and Wyatt need to go some place safe. I’m gonna go get him.

Piper: No, you are not leaving this room.

Chris: What about you?

Piper: What about me? I have to stay here and help Paige summon Phoebe.

Chris: I’m part witch, remember? I can help Paige do that.

Piper: You can’t vanquish the demons if they come and attack again.

Chris: Well, I can try.

(Victor stands near the doorway.)

Victor: Listen to your mother, Chris.

Chris: What if something happens to her?

Piper: Nothing’s gonna happen to me. Unless you know something that I don’t.

Victor: Nothing’s gonna happen to you, honey. Not now.

Piper: Oh, so when? Chris? Is that what you’ve been living with, knowing that something happens to me? I see. Well, does it happen soon?

Chris: I can’t tell you that. It could change the future in even worse ways.

Piper: Right. But isn’t that why you came here in the first place? To make the future better? How do you know you haven’t already changed mine?

Victor: She’s got a point.

Piper: Well, whatever it is, it obviously doesn’t happen until you’re born, so save it. You got it?

Chris: I got it, mum.

Piper: Huh?

(Piper smiles.)

[Scene: Abandoned Gas Station. Phoebe, Todd, Rick and Ramona are there.]

Ramona: And then while I keep Miss Hickock busy on the telephone, you three creep up to her house and egg her car.

Todd: I haven’t egged a car in years. I get first shot.

Rick: Hold it together. You’re acting like you’re still in high school.

Phoebe: Because they are. I cast a spell.

Rick: That explains so much. Listen, I picked up a tip today at lockup, and I got a better idea of what we can do tonight.

Phoebe: Knock off another liquor store?

Rick: No. An Armored car.

Ramona: You’re joking, right?

Phoebe: No, he’s not joking, he’s psycho, look at him.

Rick: You’re wrong. Look, I would have never even considered it before, we got magic now, right? I mean, we can pull this off.

Todd: An Armored car, huh? A little bit big league, don’t you think?

Rick: That’s right, we’re not kids anymore, we’ve gotta think about our futures. Come on, what do you say, Ramona? You in?

Ramona: Um, I don’t know, I don’t want to go to jail.

Rick: See, we’re not gonna get caught, we got Phoebe, alright? Now we need a majority vote here, so what do you say?

Ramona: No. I wanna go home.

Rick: You’re not going anywhere. In for a penny, in for a pound, remember?

Phoebe: The cops aren’t after us, they’re after you.

Todd: She’s right.

Phoebe: Come on, you guys, let’s get out of here.

Todd: It’s over.

(Rick hits Todd over the head with the gun.)

Rick: Nothing’s over until I say it’s over. (Teenage Phoebe turns back into her normal self.) Whoa. What’s going on? What are you doing?

Phoebe: I kill demons everyday. Do you think I’m afraid of you?

Rick: Stay right there.

(Phoebe disappears in a swirl of bright lights.)

[Cut to the manor. Attic. Piper, Paige, Chris and Victor are standing there. Phoebe appears in a swirl of bright lights.]

Victor: Honey, are you okay?

Phoebe: No, I’m not. You have to send me back.

Paige: You’re not a teenager anymore.

Phoebe: Very good, Paige. Now please, send me back.

Piper: But wait, we need the power of three to vanquish the demons that are after Chris.

Phoebe: No, Piper, it’s gonna have to wait. There are innocents in danger.

Piper: Well, what if you revert back?

Phoebe: I won’t. Look, there’s a crazy man with a shot gun, now please send me back.

[Cut to the abandoned gas station. Todd is laying unconscious on the ground. Phoebe appears in a swirl of lights.]

Phoebe: Todd. Todd! Are you okay?

(Rick walks out from behind the cop car.)

Rick: Did you go to the cops?

Phoebe: No, I didn’t, I swear. Where’s Ramona?

Rick: Somewhere safe.

Phoebe: What is that supposed to mean?

Rick: I got nervous when you took off. I didn’t know where you went so I decided I need a little leverege.

Phoebe: Where is she?

Rick: Don’t take a tone with me, Pheebs. Not if you don’t want to see your friend again. She’s locked up tight, now if you want her to keep breathing, you’re gonna do what I say. Don’t you just love reunions?

Commercial Break

[Scene: Alley. Phoebe and Rick are driving down the alley in the cop car.]

Rick: They should be passing by any minute. You stop up there.

Phoebe: You don’t have to do this, you know, you have a choice.

Rick: A choice? Here’s my choice. Freedom with money to burn, or life in prison.

Phoebe: You won’t get life.

Rick: Maybe not, but I’ll get thirty to forty years. That robbery was my third strike.

Phoebe: So you did do it?

Rick: Yeah, but you knew that. Even before you got all grown up.

Phoebe: Don’t do this, Rick. Don’t make things worse than they already are. Just tell me where Ramona is.

Rick: I get what I want, she’ll go free.

Phoebe: Yeah, except guys like you never get what they want.

Rick: I’m not for lack of trying, that’s for damn sure. I got a feeling this time it’s gonna be different, ’cause I got magic on my side.

Phoebe: God, what happened to you?

Rick: Me? What happened to you? You’re the one who changed. You got all different.

Phoebe: Yeah, I did.

(An Armored truck drives around the corner.)

Rick: Go. (Phoebe pulls out in front of the truck so the truck so the truck is now following them.) You’re gonna do this just like I said, then you’re gonna give me a new face. And not one of them lawyer faces you used, something new. Or Ramona dies, are we clear? (Phoebe stops and the Armored truck stops behind them. Rick looks in the side mirror.) Go, go, go.

(Phoebe turns the corner.)

Phoebe: I can’t guarantee you a perfect spell, you know?

Rick: What do you mean? I saw you do magic.

Phoebe: No, you saw a hormonal teenage witch with no fear of consequences.

Rick: Leave the consequences to me. (The Armored truck continues to follow them. Rick slams his foot on the break and the Armored truck runs into the back of them.) Go, now!

Phoebe: “Make them see what can not be, flames that leap to make them flee.” (Flames appear in the truck and the two men jump out of it. One of the men is on fire.) Oh my god, he’s on fire.

Rick: Yeah, wasn’t that the idea?

Phoebe: No, it was just supposed to be an illusion.

(Rick runs over and attacks one of the men. Phoebe hits the man on fire with a coat to put the fire out. Rick knocks the man out and points a shotgun at him. Phoebe dives on Rick and they fall to the ground. They struggle with each other to get to the shotgun. Rick gets to it and points it at Phoebe.)

Rick: It wouldn’t be the first time I killed someone. Let’s get the money.

(Rick goes inside the truck.)

Phoebe: “Make him hear what isn’t there, his deepest worries come to bear.”

(Rick hears sirens of police cars.)

Rick: Damn it! Where’d they come from?

Phoebe: I think your time’s running out.

Rick: Let’s go, let’s go.

(He grabs Phoebe and they walk down the street.)

[Scene: Manor. Wyatt’s room. Piper and Victor are watching Wyatt sleep.]

Piper: Mm, I wish I was asleep.

Victor: You should sleep.

Piper: No, I can’t. Not until Phoebe’s back and Chris’s demons are vanquished, and I accept the fact that apparently I die young. You know, don’t you? When it happens?

Victor: It’s like you said, the future could have changed. I do know that Chris loves you.

Piper: Yeah?

Victor: Yeah. I love you too.

(They hear a crash.)

Piper: Wait here. Wyatt’s force field will protect you.

(She heads for the door. Paige stands at the door way.)

Paige: You stay put, I’m gonna take care of it, okay? Just keep Chris in the attic.

(Paige walks away.)

[Cut to the foyer. Phoebe is laying on the floor. Rick is standing in front of her.]

Rick: Okay, no more stalling. Do it.

Phoebe: Where’s Ramona?

Rick: You think I’m stupid? I tell you where she is, I lose my leverage.

(Paige walks in.)

Paige: What’s going on?

(Rick points the gun at Paige.)

Rick: Who are you?

(Phoebe gets up.)

Phoebe: Don’t. She’s my sister.

Rick: Yeah? She a witch too?

Paige: Yeah. You could say it runs in the family.

Rick: Good. Then maybe she can give me a new face.

Phoebe: You know, we’d been more than happy to give you a new face once you tell us where Ramona is.

Rick: What the hell. You’re my leverage now anyway. She’s locked in a tank under the pumping station.

Phoebe: How do we know you’re telling the truth?

Rick: You don’t. Now, my face. Make it different. Heartbreaking, charming, young.

(Phoebe gets an idea.)

Phoebe: You know, I’m thinking maybe you should use our nephew for inspiration.

Paige: “Who you were, you’re now another, take the face of Wyatt’s brother.”

(Rick turns into Chris. He looks in the mirror.)

Chris: Yeah, I like it. This’ll work.

Paige: Pheebs, watch out, this could get messy. (Phoebe and Paige hide behind a wall. Three Scabbar demons appear in the room. Rick shoots at them but doesn’t harm them. They spit the green acid goo at Rick which melts him to nothing. The demons disappear. Phoebe and Paige come out from behind the wall.) You okay?

Phoebe: Yeah.

Paige: You know you had to, right?

Phoebe: I know.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Manor. Phoebe’s room. Phoebe is there looking through her year book. Paige walks in.]

Paige: Hey.

Phoebe: Hi.

Paige: How are Todd and Ramona?

Phoebe: They’re shaky but they’re okay.

Paige: Yeah? Do they remember anything?

Phoebe: No, once I reversed the spell, the past was…

Paige: Forgotten?

Phoebe: Some things are best forgotten.

Paige: Yeah, like, freaky Phoebe.

Phoebe: My god, I was such an angry little teenager, huh?

Paige: Well, it’s a good thing you didn’t have your powers back then.

Phoebe: Tell me about it. I’m just glad that’s all behind me, you know.

Paige: Yeah, still, it’s good for me to see you have a couple of chinks in your armor. As an older sister you’re quite a bit to live up to.

Phoebe: Shut up.

Paige: I swear to it.

Phoebe: Get out of here.

Paige: I’m telling you the truth.

Phoebe: I’m embarrassed now.

[Cut to the foyer. Piper and Victor are heading towards the door.]

Piper: Next time I ask you to drop by I promise I will keep the demonic drama to a minimum.

Victor: Yeah, now you know why I don’t come around that often.

Piper: Dad.

Victor: Just kidding. (They hug.) Sort of. Take care of yourself. You’ve got a great kid growing inside of you. Look forward to really getting to know him someday.

Piper: I still can’t believe you like orbing in the future. Do I live to see that?

Victor: Ooh, nice try. Don’t worry so much about the future. Spend time with him while you can, talk to him.

Piper: Every moment counts, is that it?

Victor: Yeah, something like that. Uh, Piper, be careful.

(He leaves. Piper walks in the conservatory and sees Chris and Wyatt sitting on the floor, playing with toys. She feels the baby kick and she smiles.)