Written by: Henry Alonso Myers, Alison Schapker & Monica Breen
Transcribed by: Shay Fitzpatrick
Season 5, Episode 21
Episode Number: 109
[Scene: Nate’s Apartment. Bedroom. Paige and Nate are in bed. Nate is asleep. Paige lies awake and touches Nate’s tattoo on his shoulder. Nate wakes up.]
Paige: Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.
Nate: It’s alright. I’m just glad you’re still here.
Paige: You didn’t think I would be?
Nate: Well, you’re a woman of mystery, Paige.
(Paige touches his tattoo again.)
Paige: The celtic wheel of being. Four elements, all balanced, all connected to each other.
Nate: How’d you know that? Nobody knows that.
Paige: I just read a lot about different things, sometimes magic things. Do you ever read about magic things?
Nate: I just got it ’cause I thought it’d look cool. I’m joking, I’m kidding. (Paige’s cell phone rings. She sits up.) Aw, come on, let the voicemail get it.
(Paige picks up her phone.)
Paige: Oh, it’s my sister. (She answers it.) Hello?
Piper: I found a way to vanquish the leader of the creepers.
Paige: Okay, and not a good time.
Piper: Well, sorry, the potion’s already been made and strike while the iron’s hot.
Paige: No can do.
Piper: Look, we take him out, we take out his entire clan, which means there’s no demons left out there to threaten the wiccaning.
Paige: Timing bad. What part of that don’t you understand?
Piper: Okay, fine. If you don’t want your nephew to be blessed by his ancestors, than you don’t mind him falling prey to evil.
Paige: Alright, alright.
(Paige hangs up.)
Nate: Is there a problem?
(Paige gets out of bed.)
Nate: What, are you leaving?
(She grabs a shirt.)
Paige: No, I’m, uh, just going to the bathroom. I’ll be right back. Promise.
(Paige goes into the bathroom and closes the door.)
[Cut to the manor. Attic. Piper is there. She dials a number on the phone. Paige orbs in wearing only Nate’s shirt.]
Paige: Alright, let’s get it over with.
Piper: Oh, sorry.
Paige: Yeah, me too. Whattaya got?
(Piper hands her a notepad.)
Piper: You summon, I will vanquish.
(Piper puts down the phone and picks up a vial of potion.)
Paige: “Demons who dwell in slivers of night, uncloak your shadows to witch’s sight.”
(A gust of wind blows through the attic and a very large demon with a creepy face and wearing a black cloak appears behind them.)
Piper: Aahh. (She throws the potion at the demon and he bursts into flames and is vanquished.) Ugh. Creepers, check.
Paige: We done here?
Piper: Yes, sleaze away.
Paige: Yeah, well, at least I get some.
Piper: Yeah, yeah.
(Paige coughs and orbs out.)
[Cut to Nate’s apartment. Nate is standing outside the bathroom door, knocking.]
(Paige opens the door.)
Paige: I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.
Nate: You didn’t hear me? (Nate sniffs the air.) It’s alright, you don’t have to hide in there, I know what you were doing.
Paige: You do?
Nate: Yeah, you smoke.
[Scene: Manor. Piper’s room. Phoebe and Wyatt are there. Phoebe is sitting on the couch beside the bed and pulls two lipsticks out of her makeup bag. Wyatt is lying on the bed.]
Phoebe: Okay, so we have one Woodmist, which is kinda natural and earthy or Rouge Sensation, which definitely has more of that, you know, va-va-va-voom feel. (She smiles at Wyatt and moves to sit beside him.) You’re a guy. What do you think Jason will like more, huh? (She holds the lipsticks in front of Wyatt.) We got this one or this one? (Wyatt smiles.) Okay, Rouge Sensation it is. Very good. (She puts on the lipstick.) You are so cute. Yes you are. Your grandmother is just going to eat you up when she meets you. But no spitting up and none of that toxic poop that you like to do because she hasn’t been around babies since she was alive, okay?
(Paige walks in.)
Paige: Piper’s gonna freak if Wyatt’s not down in his Sunday best in like five. (Paige sits on the bed.) Hey.
Phoebe: I know, I got a little side tracked.
Paige: Hey, what’s with the come-hither makeup?
Phoebe: Um, Jason called from his corporate jet and I’m gonna meet him at the airport.
Paige: Ah, he’s back from Hong Kong?
Phoebe: Yeah, just for the day.
Paige: International booty call. Most impressive.
Phoebe: Hey, there’s a minor in the room, Paige.
Paige: Sorry. But you know what’ll be good? Piper and I don’t have to see you moping around the house anymore.
Phoebe: I was not mopey.
Paige: You are too mopey.
Phoebe: Okay, well, that’s because I missed him, and I didn’t expect to miss him as much as I did.
Paige: Ohh. Um, I’m just curious. Has anyone ever tried the truth spell that’s in the book?
Phoebe: Yes, and don’t.
Paige: Don’t what?
Phoebe: Don’t try it. Especially not on Nate.
Paige: I wasn’t going to.
Phoebe: (to Wyatt) Where you going?
Paige: Okay, fine, maybe I was. But, you know, how else am I supposed to find out if he can handle the big dark secret?
Phoebe: Don’t you think it’s a little early in the relationship to start thinking about that?
Paige: No, I don’t think so. He’s the first guy I’ve really liked since Glen and I actually think he might be able to handle my being a witch.
Phoebe: Really? How do you know?
Paige: I know this sounds insane but he’s got this kind of cool, mystical celtic tattoo and he actually knows what it means.
Phoebe: (to Wyatt) You could be on the cover of GQ, you’re so handsome.
Paige: I don’t think it would really hurt anything if I did the spell because, you know, it does wear off after twenty-four hours and he’d forget anything anyway. What’s the harm?
Phoebe: It could hurt a lot. You never know what you’re gonna get when you cast that spell.
Paige: I know what I’m gonna get if I don’t. I’m gonna have to dump him. It’s not gonna work otherwise.
Piper: (from downstairs) Guys! Come on, hurry up!
Phoebe: Okay, we’re coming!
[Cut to the living room. Piper and Leo are there. Piper is placing lit candles on the floor in a circle.]
Piper: So you think the green outfit is cute? Because I can have them put him in the one with the clouds on it.
Leo: It’s her great grandson. I don’t think she’s gonna care what he’s wearing.
Piper: Yeah, but she’s not coming as a great grandmother. She’s coming in an official capacity as the matriarch of our family.
Leo: Well, she’s not gonna come at all unless we summon her.
(They finish placing the candles and step aside.)
Piper: Okay. “Here these words, hear my cry, spirit from the other side, come to me, I summon thee, cross now the great divide.”
(Colourful lights swirl inside the candle circle and then Grams appears.)
Grams: Well, it’s about time, Piper. What took you so long?
Piper: Hello to you too, Grams.
Grams: Oh, I’m sorry, I’m just so excited. (She steps out of the circle and becomes corporeal. She hugs Piper.) How are you, my dear?
Piper: Excited too.
Leo: Hi, Grams.
Grams: Leo. So, where’s the little one?
(Phoebe and Paige walk down the stairs. Phoebe is carrying Wyatt.)
Piper: Right behind you. (They turn around and Piper takes Wyatt off of Phoebe.) Grams, meet the next generation of Halliwells.
(Piper hands Wyatt to Grams.)
Piper: Baby Wyatt.
Grams: Wyatt? That’s a silly name for a girl, isn’t it?
Phoebe: Grams. It’s a boy. Look at the outfit.
Paige: You didn’t know?
Grams: Well, no, I-I mean I just assumed it was a… What went wrong?
Grams: Oh-oh, well, I don’t mean wrong, wrong. It’s just that we’ve always had girls.
(She hands Wyatt to Leo.)
Piper: Now we have a boy.
Grams: Right. Well, um, okay, well, we’ve got a lot of work to do before I perform the wiccaning.
Piper: Work? What work?
Grams: Are you kidding? I’m gonna be calling every matriarch in our family since the witch trials and we’ve got to make sure the manor is safe.
Piper: Oh, we’ve got that covered. Uh, every demon that could attack their spirits has been taken out. The zombies, the rigors…
Piper: We’re all set.
Grams: What about the Necromancer?
Phoebe: Okay, you guys discuss this. I have to pop by the airport and pick up my friend Jason.
(She gives Grams a hug.)
Grams: Who’s Jason?
Phoebe: Just a guy, Grams. Don’t start the wiccaning without me. Be right back.
Paige: Actually, I have to check on my man too.
(She gives Grams a kiss on the cheek and leaves.)
Grams: You know, they’d be better off with a dog. More loyal and they die sooner.
Leo: Excuse me?
Grams: Oh… (chuckles) Don’t mind me. You know, I never have very much luck with men.
Leo: But you’ve been married four times.
Piper: So can we get back to this, uh, Necromancer?
Grams: Yes, we should, and fast. The last time he attacked was during your mother’s wiccaning. (Piper and Grams head up the stairs.) And we can’t take any chance on that happening again, so chop-chop.
Leo: (to Wyatt) Now you know why we don’t summon her more often. Yeah.
[Scene: Necromancer’s Catacombs. The room is filled with skeleton heads and spider webs. The transparent Necromancer is there. His assistant, Skreek, appears in the room holding a jar with a fairy inside.]
Necromancer: You’ve got to be kidding.
Skreek: Don’t judge it by its size, sir. She’s not just any fairy, she’s a queen.
Necromancer: I don’t know. It hardly seems worth the trouble. You, uh, forgot to put holes in the lid.
Skreek: No, actually, I didn’t. (The fairy runs out of air and collapses, dead. Her spirit rises out of the jar.) Go for it, sir.
(The necromancer zaps the fairy’s spirit and sucks it inside his body. He becomes corporeal.)
Necromancer: Well, that won’t sustain me for long.
Skreek: Okay, well, what? Maybe I should get you an ogre?
Necromancer: Or maybe I should just devour you.
Skreek: Ah, but sir, you need me, remember?
Necromancer: A century ago I didn’t need anyone. I was a powerful demon, a ruler. Alive! (He swings his hand and grabs a handful of cobwebs.) I grow weary of it all. Scrounging around for magical spirits just to get a taste of life.
Skreek: Uh, actually, I do all the scrounging.
Necromancer: I wanna live again, do you understand? I wanna be resurrected. I will be resurrected.
[Scene: Hotel room. Phoebe is looking out the window with a blanket wrapped around herself. Jason wearing a robe walks up behind her and wraps his arms around her.]
Phoebe: I am so glad you’re home.
Jason: Well, if leaving means more reunions like this, I’ll go away more often.
(She turns to face him.)
Phoebe: No, don’t go away ever.
Jason: I’m afraid I have to.
Phoebe: What do you mean, baby?
Jason: Well, we just bought an Asian Media Conglomerate. I gotta go back to set it up.
Phoebe: Oh. Well, for how long?
Jason: Six months. Maybe longer. (Phoebe sighs and sits on the bed. Jason pulls a gift out of his robe pocket and hands it to Phoebe.) I got you something. Open it. (She does so and pulls out a book.) It’s a dictionary. Chinese-American.
Phoebe: Thank you.
Jason: You don’t like it?
Phoebe: No, I do. It’s just I found out that I’m not gonna see you for the next six months. I was kinda hoping for jewellery or something.
Jason: Well, jewellery won’t help you get around Hong Kong. The dictionary will.
(He takes her hand.)
Jason: Come back with me, Phoebe.
Jason: That’s why I flew out to see if you’d fly back with me. It leaves tomorrow morning.
Phoebe: Are you serious? I can’t just pick up and-and leave and move to Hong Kong for the next six months.
Jason: Why not?
Phoebe: Well, uh, for starters I have a job.
Jason: Well, I’m your boss. I’ll transfer you.
Phoebe: Okay, and how about my family? My sisters and my new little nephew?
Jason: You can use the jet whenever you want. It’ll be at your disposal. I missed you Phoebe.
Phoebe: I missed you too.
Jason: Well, I don’t want to miss you again. Come back with me.
[Scene: Nate’s Piano Bar. Nate sits at the piano, talking on the phone.]
Nate: Yeah, what’s this gonna cost? For a new thermostat? Come on, you can do better than that. (Paige walks in.) Hey, let me call you back, alright? (He hangs up and walks over to Paige.) Hey.
Nate: Nice to see you. What are you doing way out here?
Paige: I just, um, I kinda wanted to talk to you. Do you have a minute?
Nate: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We’re not open for another hour. You wanna have a seat, you wanna drink or something?
Paige: No, it’s okay.
Nate: What’s the matter? Are you alright?
Paige: Maybe nothing, but there’s only one way to find out. (Paige pulls a piece of paper out of her pocket.) “For those who want the truth revealed, open hearts and secrets unsealed, from now until it’s now again, after which the memory ends.”
(Coloured lights swirl around him and he waves his hands.)
Nate: Did you see that?
Paige: Okay, here goes nothing. Nate, I’m a witch. A real witch with real magical powers and I just kinda wanted to see if maybe you’d be open to that.
Nate: What are you talking about?
Paige: I’m talking about this. (She orbs out and orbs back in on the piano.) Behind you.
(Nate turns around.)
Nate: How’d you do that?
Paige: I told you, I’m a witch. I just kinda wanted to see how you’d feel about it before I went any further into the relationship. I can see that you don’t feel so very good about it.
Nate: No, let me just get my head around this. I mean, you don’t see stuff like this every day.
(Paige gets off the piano.)
Paige: Maybe you would be okay with it?
Nate: Yeah. Hell, yeah. I-I mean, I sort of thought this stuff was real, you know, I just didn’t really know it was really real, you know?. Oh my god, my wife is gonna love this.
Paige: Excuse me?
Nate: Did I just say wife?
Paige: You’re married? You never told me you were married.
Nate: Yeah, I didn’t tell you I had children either but… Uh, did I just say kids too?
[Cut to the manor. Attic. Piper and Grams are there. Piper is looking at the Necromancer page in the Book of Shadows.]
Piper: See I was right. You vanquished this demon sixty years ago.
Grams: The Necromancer is not a demon. He’s a ghost of a demon. And it wasn’t a vanquish, I banished him back into the spirit realm.
Piper: Well, then you should be a little more specific in your wording.
Grams: But the point is he’s had about seventy years to find a way out of the spirit realm and that man, that demon is nothing, if not confident.
Piper: Well, I guess I’ll take your word for it considering you seem to know so much about him. “Enjoys Clark Gable movies”, “Favourite dinner: Lamb chops with mint jelly”.
Grams: Well, you know me. You never know what could be useful.
Piper: So what do you suggest? That I go to the video store and you get cooking?
Grams: Oh, don’t be so literal. I was just trying to show how much he craves life, the sensuousness of it. Food, drink, sex…
Piper: Don’t! I don’t wanna hear about a dead demon doing the dirty.
Grams: He wants to be resurrected.
Piper: It says that he has dominion over the dead. You would think that would be enough.
Grams: Not for him it isn’t. He only uses his power over the dead to absorb their spirit and get a temporary fix of life. But he was always searching for magical spirits with enough power to resurrect himself for good.
Piper: Like all the spirits of the Halliwell matriarchs.
Grams: That’s what he attacked at your mother’s wiccaning. Now you see why I’m so worried.
Piper: Okay, so if he’s out, we’ll send him packing back to the spirit realm because nothing is going to get in the way of Wyatt’s wiccaning.
Grams: Good, and I know just the potion to use on him too. (Grams walks over to the potion table.) See we’ll need some, oh, dragon root, uh, eel skin, bloodwort. You know, Piper, I’m still surprised that you had a boy.
Piper: Well, fifty-fifty chance.
Grams: Not in our family. Three hundred years and not a male in the bunch.
Piper: I guess our family’s changing.
Grams: Mm. I mean, it begs a few questions, don’t you think? I mean, we’ve never had a male witch and, you know, men are just so…
(Paige storms in.)
Paige: They’re just evil, that’s what they are. They are just plain evil.
Piper: Oh, I take it Nate wasn’t too happy about you being a witch.
Paige: Oh, Nate was fine with my being a witch. It’s maybe his wife that would have had a problem.
Piper: He’s married?
Paige: Yeah, with two kids.
Piper: Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.
Grams: I told you, she should’ve gotten a dog.
Piper: What did you do when you found out?
Paige: Plenty. I mean, I’m sure plenty will happen to him, karmicly speaking. Cheat.
Grams: Well, there’s no wrath like a witch scorned, I always say. Care to take it out on him?
(She shows the picture of the Necromancer in the Book of Shadows to Paige.)
[Scene: Necromancer’s Catacombs. The Necromancer is lying on a crypt. He hears a noise.]
Necromancer: What measly crumbs have you brought me this time?
Grams: Nothing you’re gonna like.
(He turns to see Piper, Paige and Grams standing in the room. He quickly gets up.)
(Grams uses her power and sends him flying across the room. He lands on some large vases.)
Grams: What are you waiting for? Throw the damn potion. (Paige throws the potion at him and he bursts into flames. He is vanquished. Grams turns to the girls.) What?
[Scene: Manor. Piper’s room. Piper, Phoebe and Paige are there.]
Phoebe: Wait, so he called her by her name?
Piper: Penny. Yeah. Kinda weird, huh?
Paige: Yeah, and he acted like he liked her.
Phoebe: Twim-gee. That’s Chinese for excuse me.
Phoebe: Did you guys vanquish him?
Paige: No, he’s already dead, he can’t be vanquished. But we did send his sorry male ass back to the spirit realm.
Piper: Okay, let’s not jump on Grams’ male bashing bandwagon, please.
Paige: Grams is a wise woman.
Piper: I’ll be sure to let Wyatt know.
Paige: Don’t worry, we’re not gonna let him grow up to be a slime bag.
Piper: Great, so let’s focus on blessing him in light and goodness. Okay, we don’t got a lot of time. (She holds up some baby shoes.) Now white or patent leather.
Phoebe: Bok! That’s white.
Paige: Okay, what is with the Chinese thing?
Phoebe: It’s a little souvenir that Jason brought me back from China, when he was there on his business trip.
Paige: Oh! Business trip, yeah, business trip. A likely story.
Phoebe: What is that supposed to mean?
Paige: I’m just saying. He could be leading a double life, he could be married, he could have a mistress, he could be gay. You don’t know, there are many variables.
(The phone rings.)
Phoebe: Or he could be perfect for me.
Paige: Don’t be so sure. Men are full of surprises, that’s all.
Phoebe: Funny you should mention surprises because, uh, he had a little surprise for me.
(Leo walks in carrying Wyatt.)
Leo: Paige? Darryl’s on the phone, he’s pretty pissed. Something about your boyfriend?
Paige: He’s not my boyfriend, he’s my ex-boyfriend.
(Paige leaves the room.)
Piper: What are you doing with Wyatt? I thought Grams was gonna spend some time with him.
Leo: Well, she didn’t want to.
Piper: What? That’s ridiculous.
Leo: Really? Then why didn’t she want to touch him or change him or feed him?
Piper: Well, she’s probably just resting before the ceremony. She said she was gonna do it as soon as we get rid of the Necromancer.
Leo: Piper, this has nothing to do with the Necromancer and you know it. Grams doesn’t like the fact that Wyatt’s a boy and she makes no bones about it.
[Scene: Necromancer’s Catacombs. Skreek places several bones and skulls on the ground to make a pentagon. He picks up a chalice of red dust and sprinkles it into the pentagon. He chants and inside the pentagon starts to swirl. The swirling stops and the Necromancer appears.]
Necromancer: Am I really back?
Skreek: Yes, and I, uh, summoned you in record time too.
Necromancer: Bet Penny didn’t count on that. She can’t fool me. She’s a spirit too, I can tell.
Skreek: Uh, who’s Penny?
Necromancer: Penny Halliwell. The witch who stole my heart. You should have seen her. The glint in her eye, the way she held up her hand and sent me curdling into that wall.
Necromancer: Didn’t hurt as much as the potion did though. I can tell she made it herself. The flames were excruciating. She was furious with me, which can only mean one thing. She still feels the passion, the heat.
Skreek: You sure that wasn’t fire?
Necromancer: If only I knew why she came back here. Why leave a cosy eternity up there?
Skreek: Uh, it could have something to do with the new baby.
Necromancer: Baby? What baby?
Skreek: It’s the talk of the underworld. One of the Charmed Ones had a kid. It’s a powerful one too, one we’re not supposed to mess with.
Necromancer: That’s it, she’s here for the wiccaning. I’ll need you to get me a troll. No, better yet, an elf. I’m gonna need all my energy if I’m going to take on Penny Halliwell.
[Scene: Manor. Parlor. Grams is leaning over the empty bassinet, touching the triquetra symbol on the blanket. Piper walks down the stairs.]
(Grams straightens up.)
Grams: Oh! Piper, you scared me.
Piper: Hm, I didn’t know you could scare a ghost. We need to talk.
Piper: I think you know what about. Leo seems to think that you don’t want to be around Wyatt for some reason. And I’m beginning to wonder myself.
Grams: Oh, this is all my fault. Maybe if I lived longer, been around longer, maybe things would’ve worked out the way they were supposed to.
Piper: What are you talking about?
Grams: This. Wyatt.
Piper: Oh, you mean because he’s not a girl?
Grams: Piper, you know as well as I do that the charmed line is supposed to be lead by women. Not men.
Piper: Who says?
Grams: Tradition says. Destiny says. Tell me that you didn’t hope to have a little girl, expect to have a little girl, just like you foresaw.
Piper: Well, of course, but so what?
Grams: So what is something went wrong. Terribly wrong. This is not the baby you were meant to have.
Grams: You saw it yourself when you went to the future.
Piper: That was also the future where Prue was still alive and witches were burned at the stake. Things change.
Grams: Not this. Oh, it’s just that I’m worried about the family, you know. We don’t know what to expect.
Piper: I know, and that’s precisely why we shouldn’t treat him any differently because he’s a boy. That’s why we’re going to do the ceremony. At the very least he deserves that.
Grams: I’m sorry, Piper. I can’t.
[Scene: Police Station. Jail cell. Nate is there. Paige is standing on the outside.]
Nate: Come on, this is outrageous. Look, I’ll sue you for false imprisonment and when I get out of here I’m gonna tell everybody about you, you witch.
Paige: For your information, Nate, spells can do a lot more than just make you tell the truth, something you might wanna think about.
(Darryl walks up to Paige and pulls her aside.)
Darryl: Are you out of your mind? You can’t just orb him here and think that’s gonna fly, ’cause it’s not!
Paige: Why not? Do you know what he did?
Darryl: I don’t care what he did. Get him outta here now!
Nate: Listen to the donut hog.
(Nate grabs a pillow and buries his face in it.)
Darryl: Do you know how much trouble I’m in? The man’s got a constitutional right, you know?
Paige: Oh, constitution, schmonstitution, Darryl.
Darryl: Look, he’s a jerk, fine, but cheating is immoral, it’s not illegal.
Paige: Alright, I understand that, and I can’t deny that I’m taking some sort of personal pleasure from this because I am. But that’s not the main thing that’s happening here. I cast a truth spell.
Darryl: Oh, no.
Paige: It’s just a little one. But you know? It’s a good thing I did, otherwise I wouldn’t know what a cheating jerk he is.
Darryl: This is so not my problem.
Paige: Actually it is. Because see, if he goes out, he’s gonna be telling people that I’m a witch and also about my special friend, a cop who helps the witch.
Darryl: What am I supposed to do? Keep him in here indefinitely?
Paige: No, not indefinitely. Just like the next twenty hours or so.
Darryl: What am I supposed to tell the other cop if they hear him?
(Nate stares at them and makes pig noises.)
Paige: Just tell them he’s insane.
[Cut to the manor. Parlor. Piper and Grams are there.]
Piper: You are crazy! This isn’t about him or our legacy. This is about you.
Grams: Piper, you don’t understand.
Piper: That you don’t want to perform a blessing on my son? You are damn right I do not understand.
Grams: You see him as an innocent little boy. But he won’t be like that, not for long.
Piper: So you can’t even hold him because some day, some very far away day he will become a man?
Grams: Men can not be trusted with magic. They can’t handle it, they’re weak and evil will eventually win out.
Piper: That is silly! Look at Leo.
Grams: Well, Leo, I mean, he’s an angel, you can’t count Leo.
(Phoebe walks down the stairs.)
Phoebe: Hey, what’s going on here?
Piper: Your grandmother hates her grandson, that’s what’s going on.
Grams: That is not true.
Piper: Oh, I’m sorry, you just hate men, is that correct?
Grams: No, I don’t trust men. There’s a difference. And there is a reason that they don’t last long in this family because they’re always trying to take advantage of what we have.
Phoebe: That’s not true.
Grams: Isn’t it? Look what Cole put you through. Look what your father did to your mother.
Phoebe: So we’re supposed to give up on trying to find love just because we might get hurt?
Grams: Oh, no, you will get hurt. That’s part of our legacy too, unfortunately.
Piper: You know what? Forget it. You couldn’t even bless my son with any kind of goodness because you are too consumed by your bitterness.
Piper: And since his father is an angel, we will take our chances without a wiccaning!
(Skreek appears on the stairs and throws a beam of light at Piper, sending her across the room. He throws a beam of light at Phoebe and she dives over the couch.)
Grams: Leave them alone!
(Suddenly, she is pulled backwards in a blur and into Necromancer’s arms.)
(Skreek walks down the stairs.)
(Piper blows up Skreek. Necromancer disappears with Grams.)
[Scene: Manor. Living room. Piper, Phoebe, Paige and Leo are there. Phoebe is holding Wyatt.]
Piper: Well, let’s face it. Grams would not be in this position if she hadn’t sent us after the guy in the first place.
Phoebe: Not helpful. We have to summon her back here fast.
Leo: We can’t. The necromancer will follow and if you don’t have a way to stop him.
Paige: How did he get a clean shot of her anyway? Weren’t you guys with her?
Phoebe: Uh, we were fighting with her.
Paige: Fighting? About what?
Piper: Yeah, later. Let’s just focus on the vanquishing and the saving.
Phoebe: Yeah, but I don’t know how to. I mean, it’s not like we can even vanquish him, he’s a ghost.
Paige: Well, ghosts can still feel pain. Maybe I can just orb his testicles somewhere.
Piper: Paige, there will be no talk of testicle orbing in front of the child.
Leo: And not around his daddy either.
Paige: Oh, criminy, I’m just trying to help.
(Leo takes Wyatt off of Phoebe and leaves the room. Phoebe moves closer to the Book of Shadows which is sitting on the coffee table.)
Phoebe: Okay, there’s got to be a weakness in here somewhere. I mean, he must have a weakness, right?
Piper: Well, do mint jelly and Clark Gable movies count? She wrote it.
Phoebe: Oh my god. That’s why she’s so obsessed with him. Grams was the Necromancer’s lover.
Paige: That’s disgusting.
Piper: Oh, no, I think you’re right. That would explain everything. Grams was alive when she banished the Necromancer, right?
Piper: Okay, so now she’s dead.
Paige: You sound so happy about that.
Phoebe: No, that’s not what she means. The ghost vanquishing spell.
(Phoebe flips through the Book of Shadows.)
Piper: You’ve gotta be dead to use it, right?
Phoebe: It’s worth a shot.
[Scene: Necromancer’s Catacombs. Grams is lying on a crypt asleep. The Necromancer stands beside her and leans in.]
Necromancer: Your spirit is strong, Penny. Almost strong enough to sustain us both. Almost. (He moves away from her.) Awaken! (Grams wakes up and sits up.) No need to worry, Penny, you’re safe here. (Grams holds up her hands, ready to use her power.) Ah-ah-ah! You’re well aware of my powers, Penny. I covet your spirit, and any spirit I covet, I control.
Grams: You son of a…
Necromancer: Shh! Of course you know, the more you fight me, the more I know that you still love me.
Grams: Are you crazy? I hate you!
Necromancer: Yes. But you only hate me because you once loved me. After all, we only hate those who’ve gotten close to us, don’t we? Those who’ve gotten close enough to touch our hearts.
Grams: You used me. You prayed on my affections just to get to my family.
Necromancer: And for that I am truly, truly sorry. I was just trying to survive. I never intended to fall in love with you either.
Grams: What do you want, Armond?
Necromancer: What I wanted then. Life! With you! Think about it. Think about it, Penny. There’s enough magic in the Halliwell line to resurrect us both. To give us a second chance together. All you have to do is call up the spirits of the matriarchs. I’ll do the rest.
Grams: No-no, you’ll never make me do that.
Necromancer: I can if I have to.
Grams: I’ll tell my granddaughters, they will destroy you. (He waves his hands and Grams gets a loud ringing in her ears. She gasps. The ringing stops.) You haven’t changed one bit.
Necromancer: Isn’t that why you loved me? Because I was dangerous, exciting, why your heart beats a little faster when I’m near you. Or when I do this. (He kisses her.) You still love me, Penny. You know it and I know it. You’re going to help us both to live again. Forever.
[Cut to the manor. Attic. Piper, Phoebe and Paige are there. Piper lights five candles that are sitting on the floor in a circle.]
Piper: Alright, as soon as we summon her, we’ve gotta get her straight to the book because the Necromancer’s gonna be right behind her.
Paige: All over it.
Piper: Okay, let’s do this. (The door bell rings. Phoebe walks over to the window.) Who is that?
Phoebe: It’s Jason.
Paige: Guys really do have bad timing, don’t they?
Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda owe him an answer.
Piper: Answer to what?
Phoebe: He asked me to go back to Hong Kong with him. To live. (The doorbell rings again.) I’ll be right back.
(She leaves the room.)
[Cut to the foyer. Leo answers the door.]
Leo: Sorry, Jason, now’s not really a good time.
Jason: Please, I need to talk to her and I don’t have much time.
(Phoebe walks into the foyer.)
Phoebe: It’s okay, Leo.
Leo: What about…?
Phoebe: Don’t worry about it. (Leo leaves the foyer.) Come in.
(Jason walks in and Phoebe closes the door.)
Jason: Uh, listen, Phoebe, I’ve been thinking.
Phoebe: Yeah, me too.
Jason: I shouldn’t have asked you to come with me like that.
Phoebe: You shouldn’t have?
Jason: It’s not that I don’t want you to, I do. I just, I think I sorta blindsided you with it and I feel bad about it.
Jason: And-and-and it was unfair of me to spring it on you like that knowing how close you are to your family.
Phoebe: That’s really sweet but…
Jason: I just, I don’t want to pressure you into deciding. And I wanted you to know that if-if you need more time to think about it…
Phoebe: I don’t.
Jason: You don’t?
Phoebe: No, I don’t. I do love my family and I don’t wanna leave them. But I think if I don’t, at least for a little while, then I’m gonna wind up like my grandmother and I don’t want that.
Jason: I don’t think I understand.
Phoebe: You don’t have to understand. What time does the plane leave?
Jason: Ten. In the morning.
Phoebe: I’ll be there.
Phoebe: Yeah! (They kiss each other’s cheeks and they move towards the door.) Okay.
(Phoebe opens the door.)
(The kiss again and Jason leaves. Phoebe grins.)
[Cut to the attic. Piper and Paige are looking out the window.]
Piper: Go on, go on.
(They quickly race to the centre of the room. Phoebe walks in.)
Phoebe: How do you guys feel about intercontinental orbing?
Piper: We’ll, talk about that later. (Piper hands Phoebe a piece of paper.) Read.
Phoebe: “Here these words, here my cry, spirit from the other side, come to me, I summon thee, cross now the great divide.”
[Cut to the Necromancer’s Catacombs. Grams hears there call.]
Necromancer: They’re calling you, my love? Don’t, don’t try to fight it. You have no choice but to do as I wish.
(Grams disappears in a swirl of bright lights.)
[Cut to the manor. Attic. Grams appears in a swirl of bright lights.]
Paige: Welcome back, Grams.
Piper: No time for apologies. Come on, come on, this way, this way, this way.
(They take Grams over to the Book of Shadows.)
Phoebe: That is a spell to vanquish a ghost. But only a ghost can read it and that’s you.
Grams: You shouldn’t have done this.
Piper: Oh, come on, Grams, we’re not that mad.
Grams: You will be.
Piper: Grams, he’s gonna be here any second.
Grams: I know, I know. It’s just that I don’t think that…
(Grams get a painful ringing in her ears. She gasps.)
Paige: Are you alright?
Grams: Yes. I never meant to hurt you or Wyatt.
Piper: Right, okay, look, we kind of need to focus on the demon at hand here, okay?
(A gust of wind blows through the attic.)
Phoebe: Whoa. Incoming!
(Necromancer appears in a puff of smoke.)
Paige: Now, Grams!
Piper: Grams, read the spell.
Necromancer: Don’t bother. She’s with me now. (He moves closer to Grams.) It’s time, dear.
[Scene: Manor. Attic. Continued from before.]
Paige: Piper, blow him up or something.
Piper: A ghost? You want me to blow up the ghost? He’s already dead.
Grams: “I call forth from space and time, matriarchs from the Halliwell line…”
Piper: Paige, the truth spell. Use it on Grams.
Grams: “Mothers, daughters, sisters, friends…”
Paige: “For those who want the truth revealed, open hearts and secrets unsealed…”
Grams: “Our family’s spirit without end…”
Paige: “From now until it’s now again, after which the memory ends.”
Grams: “Gather now in this sacred place…”
(Coloured lights appear around Grams.)
Necromancer: Penny, finish the spell.
Piper: Grams, tell him how you really feel about him. Tell him the truth.
Grams: I love you.
Paige: Any other bright ideas?
Grams: And now I know that you didn’t just use me, that you really did love me too.
Necromancer: I still do.
Grams: I know. But the truth is that our love isn’t nearly as powerful as the love I have for my family. “Ashes to ashes, spirit to spirit…”
Grams: “Take his soul.”
Necromancer: Penny, what are you doing?
Grams: “Banish this evil.” (The Necromancer is vanquished.) I am so sorry. I never realised how much my anger, my bitterness affected my life, or yours. And I’m most sorry for what I did to my great grandson, and you. And if ever I wanted a second chance, it would be with him, and you. (Piper smiles and hugs Grams.) Don’t make the same mistake I did. Don’t ever give up on love.
[Scene: Police Station. Jail cell. Nate is still there. Paige stands on the outside.]
Nate: Paige, you gotta let me out of here sometime. You can’t keep me in here forever.
Paige: Don’t worry about it. When the spell wears off, you won’t remember a single thing. Although, I’ve got a couple of things I’d like to say to you before it does.
Darryl: Say it fast will you?
Nate: You know, Paige, I’ve been thinking. I’ve been in here a long time and I realise what I did to you was really wrong. I hope you’re buying this.
Paige: You know, I thought you would have a problem with magic, I didn’t think you’d be a problem on a basic human level.
Nate: I was gonna tell you about Morgan and the kids at some point. No, I wasn’t.
Paige: For what it’s worth, Nate, I don’t hate you. You’re just too pathetic. It doesn’t matter anyway. It’s gonna be over in like a second.
(Coloured lights appear around Nate.)
Nate: What happened? Why am I in jail?
Paige: I don’t know, why don’t you ask your wife.
(Paige storms off. Darryl laughs.)
Nate: What’s so funny?
Darryl: You’ll never know. (He opens the cell door.) Friendly advice. Don’t ask any questions, don’t call Paige and walk away as fast as you can.
Nate: Is that a threat?
(He walks out of the cell.)
Darryl: Actually, Nate, it is.
[Scene: Airport. Jason is standing near his private jet. A woman walks over to him.]
Woman: I’m sorry, Mr. Dean, but if we don’t leave very soon, you’re gonna miss your meeting.
Jason: I know, I know.
(She walks away. Jason turns towards the jet. Phoebe comes running towards Jason.)
Jason: Phoebe. Wow, you’re cutting it pretty close aren’t you? Where are your bags?
Jason: You’re not coming, are you?
Phoebe: No, I’m not. I want to, more than you know.
Jason: Well, then why don’t you?
Phoebe: It’s hard to explain. I-I just feel like for now at least, that my place is here, you know, this is where I need to be. Not forever, god, I hope not forever. Just for now.
Jason: I guess I should’ve gotten you jewellery after all.
Phoebe: Hurry back.
(Jason gets on the jet.)
[Scene: Manor. Attic. The room is lit by candles. Phoebe, Paige, Leo and Grams are there. Piper walks in carrying Wyatt, who is dressed in a white wiccaning outfit. She stands between Phoebe and Leo.]
Grams: You know, I think he looks a little like your grandfather. Oh, trust me, that’s a good thing. He was a good man.
Phoebe: Nice to know.
Piper: Shall we?
Grams: I call forth from space and time, matriarchs from the Halliwell line, mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, our family’s spirit without end, to gather now in this sacred place, and help us bring this child to grace.” (Matriarch spirits from different time periods appear in the room. Grams turns to the matriarchs.) The next generation has been born into our family, our legacy. (Piper hands Wyatt to Grams.) We pledge to be with this child, this beautiful boy always. Apart but never separate, free but never alone. He is one of us and because of that, we will bless him with all the goodness that we are. Welcome to the family, Wyatt Matthew Halliwell. (She kisses Wyatt on the cheek.) Blessed be.
Matriarchs: Blessed be.
Piper, Leo: Blessed be.
Phoebe, Paige: Blessed be.
(Grams hands Wyatt back to Piper.)
Grams: Take good care of my great grandson.
(Grams steps back and stands beside the other matriarchs. They all disappear.)