Oh My Goddess, Pt 2

Written by: Daniel Cerone
Transcribed by: Shay Fitzpatrick

Season 5, Episode 23
Episode Number: 111

[Scene: Manor. Living room. Piper, Phoebe, Paige and Chris are there. The girls have just been turned into goddesses and they’re wearing ancient Greek outfits.]

Piper: You expect us to beat the Titans dressed like this? Maybe at a costume party.

Chris: That’s not a costume. That represents your new position and power.

Paige: Power? Power’s good. I like power. (She thinks for a moment.) Why do I like power?

Chris: Because you are the goddess of war.

Paige: Ahh. Well, I guess that explains the pitch fork.

Chris: It’s not a pitch fork, it’s a trident. Be careful, that’s a formidable weapon.

Paige: Right on. Who wants to fight?

Phoebe: I’m a lover, not a fighter.

Chris: You’re the goddess of love.

Piper: Naturally. Well, then that must make me the goddess of sanity because I find this ridiculous.

Chris: Actually, Leo gave you dominion over the earth and all it’s natural elements.

Piper: Wait a minute, you’re saying that Leo did this to us?

Phoebe: Chris? You never told us, do you have a girlfriend in the future?

Chris: (ignoring Phoebe) As you can see, all of you have drives and urges based on your powers. Don’t let them distract you, alright? Stay focused, focused on the Titans.

Piper: Hold it, pal. I don’t know what kind of game you’re running here, but Leo is not in the god-making business.

Phoebe: (to Chris) How old are you, anyway?

Piper: The Elders forbid it. And if anything, Leo is a company man.

Chris: The Elders did forbid it. And guess what, they’re dead. Most of them. Leo’s in charge up there now and he’s taken a huge risk that you three won’t lose your humanity like the ancient Greeks… Whoa!

(Paige sticks her trident into Chris’s shirt and holds up in the air.)

Paige: You killed the Elders. You could’ve prevented it. I say we castrate.

Chris: A little control here, ladies, please.

Phoebe: Can’t we figure out something else to cut off?

(Chris orbs out and orbs back in across the room.)

Chris: I told you, stay focused. In my future, all the Elders were killed. That’s why I came back to help Leo give you the power so this would never have to happen again.

Paige: Hey, guys, watch this.

(She points her trident at the piano and a bolt of lightning flies out of it hitting the piano. The piano breaks into pieces.)

Piper: Put that thing down, you’re gonna hurt someone.

Paige: I certainly hope so. Do you know the kind of damage this thing could do?

Chris: A lot.

Phoebe: Paige, make love, not, you know. There’s no door love can’t open, no wall love can’t climb, not hurdle love can’t… (She thinks.) Hurdle.

Piper: This is Leo’s strategy? Well, he must have lost it up there because these girls can’t be seen in public, much less…

Phoebe: Ooh, that reminds me. I’m late for the bachelor auction. I’m gonna go pick up a guy or two, or twelve.

(She claps her hands and a pink misty heart appears. A pink swirl of mist surrounds her and she disappears from the room.)

Chris: Phoebe?

Paige: Ooh, that’s a good idea. I’m gonna go get in some target practice with some demons. Watch out Titans.

(Lightning bolts surround her and she disappears from the room.)

Chris: I knew this was gonna happen. You gotta go after them.

Piper: Oh, no-no-no. This was your big plan, you clean up the mess.

Chris: No, your role is to provide balance. That’s why you feel so grounded and in control.

Piper: Wow, Chris, that was actually pretty good. You almost sounded like a Whitelighter. Too bad I already have one. And if he would like me to do something, he can come down and tell me himself. (to the roof) Do you hear that?

Chris: You want Leo, hm? Then vanquish the Titans. If you can’t do that, you’re gonna find out what a world of darkness feels like. My world.

[Scene: Snow-covered Mountains. Cronus is waiting there. Demetrius appears.]

Demetrius: I can sense what’s left of the Elders. They’re scared and running for their lives.

Cronus: You’re still angry with me for killing her, aren’t you? Demetrius, I’m sorry. Meta was a distraction. Once we control the heavens, you can have any woman you want. I want you to know, I did what had to be done. We needed to hit the Elders hard and fast, and we did, alright? Demetrius, let’s go finish off the Elders.

(They disappear.)

Opening Credits

[Scene: P3. The bachelor auction is taking place. Elise is up on stage behind a podium.]

Elise: Ladies, prepare your cheque books because here comes Evan.

(A handsome man stands up and walks onto stage. Everyone cheers and whistles.)

Lady From Crowd: He’s mine.

Elise: Oh, my, my, my. Somebody turn the heat down in here.

Evan: I don’t have to take off my clothes or anything, do I?

(The ladies cheer.)

Elise: That’s entirely up to you. Okay, ladies. Evan is an internist from Sausalito. And he promises the highest bidder a free physical on their first date. So who’ll start the bidding?

Lady From Crowd: Four hundred!

Elise: Excellent! Do I hear five hundred?

Phoebe’s Voice: One thousand dollars!

(Every turns to look at Phoebe walking down the stairs.)

Elise: Phoebe.

(The guys stare in awe as she walks through the crowd toward the stage.)

Evan: Uh, can I bid on her?

(Phoebe chuckles.)

Phoebe: If you insist.

Elise: That isn’t… This isn’t… I don’t really…

Evan: I’ve got a ten thousand limit on my credit card.

Elise: Well, okay then.

Man From Crowd: Eleven thousand!

Man #2: Twelve thousand!

Man #3: Thirteen thousand!

Man #4: Fourteen thousand!

Man #3: Fourteen five!

Man #2: Fifteen thousand!

(Phoebe makes her way onto the stage.)

Man #3: Sixteen thousand!

Phoebe: Easy, boys, there’s plenty to go around.

[Scene: Woods. Paige and three other demons are there. Paige is pointing her trident at them.]

Paige: Come on, now, hit me with your best shot. (A demon throws an energy ball at Paige and she catches it. She distinguishes it.) Give me one firm spot on wish to stand and I will move the earth. (She points her trident at the demon and zaps him, vanquishing him.) Archimedes said that. Great warrior. And he didn’t even have a trident. Okay, on your knees. Kiss the hand of the Paige.

Demons: Yes, my liege.

(The kneel in front of her.)

Paige: Mm, being a goddess does have its perks.

(Leaves fly around in one spot and Piper appears.)

Piper: Paige, what are you doing?

Paige: How’d you find me?

Piper: Apparently it’s one of my powers to keep an eye on you. What is going on here?

Paige: Oh, I’m just building an army. I figured what better way to smite the Titans than with hordes of demons, right?

Piper: Wrong. All of you out.

Demon: We answer only to our liege.

(Paige smiles and nods.)

Piper: I see.

Paige: See, they’re very loyal. And you know what? I don’t know why I was wasting my time studying witchcraft when I clearly should have been earning my general stripes.

Piper: I said go! Now!

(The ground shakes. The demons disappear, frightened.)

Paige: What’d you have to do that for? I had followers.

Piper: You can’t have followers. None of us can. Now come on before I unleash my wrath on you.

(They disappear.)

[Cut to the manor. Foyer. Piper and Paige appear.]

Piper: Not in the house. (Piper takes the trident off of Paige and puts it aside.) Now let’s go find Phoebe.

(The Elf Nanny walks in pushing the baby pram.)

Elf Nanny: My word, this is a house of ill repute. Hardly suitable for an infant.

(She walks off.)

Piper: Wh- What do you mean?

(They hear voices coming from the living room.)

Man’s Voice: How does that feel, Phoebe?

(Piper and Paige walk into the living room. Phoebe is lying on a red sofa, surrounded by half-naked men. Some are fanning her with a large feather, another is massaging her feet, and another is feeding her grapes.)

Phoebe: Oh, make sure you peel those for me, will you?

Piper: Phoebe? We need to talk.

Phoebe: Yes, we do. The world would be over flowing with peace and love if only we just talked more.

Piper: Mm-hm. What are they doing here?

Phoebe: Oh, worshipping me, adoring me, exalting my name. There is so much love in this room I can barely stand it.

Piper: Me neither. It’s time to send your groupies away, now.

Phoebe: But serving me makes them so happy. (One of the men hands Phoebe a chalice.) Thank you, bachelor number three.

Piper: Alright, all of you, show is over. Move along.

Evan: We live to serve Phoebe.

Phoebe: Oh, you do, don’t you? That’s so sweet. Piper, you need to get some followers of your own. It’s a really great confidence builder.

Paige: Are you eyeing me, soldier?

(Chris walks in.)

Chris: What the hell is this? Goddesses gone wild? I told you to keep them in line. What would happen if the Titans attacked right now?

Piper: Chris, I’ve got it. Thank you. All of you, out!

(A gust of wind blows through the room and the men land in the foyer all on top of one another. They quickly get up and race outside.)

Chris: Now that’s what I’m talking about.

Piper: Time for a morality check. Leo did not give us this power so we could form armies or love cults. (Phoebe looks at Chris and flirts.) The ancient Greeks indulged in their whims that way and look what they became.

Chris: Petty, evil, vindictive.

Piper: Thanks, I’ve got it. Now… hi! (She pokes Phoebe with a pillow.) Can you two get it under control?

Paige: Reason and judgement are the qualities of a leader. Tacitus, 100 A.D.

Phoebe: Love will keep us together. Captain and Tennille. 1970s.

Piper: Fascinating. Now, can we figure out a way to beat the Titans, ’cause I for one would like my family back. Soon.

(They hear the Elders call.)

Phoebe: Is that a jingle?

Paige: There are no Elders up there. Who’s jingling?

Chris: It’s Leo.

Piper: Leo can jingle?

Chris: Yep. He says an Elder’s under attack. Like it or not, it’s time to face the Titans.

[Cut to the woods. Finnegan stands in front of Roland the Elder. The Titans are standing a few feet away from them.]

Finnegan: Stand back, wise one.

Cronus: Such bravery in the face of death.

Finnegan: We ain’t the ones who’ll be dying today.

(He waves his shillelagh and says some Irish words. A rainbow appears and sucks up Finnegan and Roland. Cronus throws a blast of fire into the air hitting the tail of the rainbow. Finnegan screams and Roland falls out of the rainbow onto the ground.)

Cronus: Remind me when we’re through with the Elders to do something nice for the Leprechaun community.

Roland: We’ve beaten you before, Cronus. We’ll do it again.

Cronus: How? Your numbers are dwindling. By day’s end, the great Elders will all be dead and we’ll own the heavens. (Piper, Phoebe and Paige appear.) Who are you?

Paige: The Supremes.

(She points her trident and a bolt of lightning heads for Cronus. He blocks it with a wave of his hand.)

Demetrius: She wields the powers of the gods.

Cronus: Just kill the Elder.

(Cronus and Demetrius throw a stream of fire and a lightning bolt at the girls. They hold up their hands and a light shields them.

Piper: Somebody get the Elder out.

Phoebe: I can’t. I can’t move.

Paige: Me neither.

(The Titans move closer to them.)

Piper: Leo!

(They all orb out.)

Demetrius: Where’d they go?

Commercial Break

[Scene: Sewer. The remaining Elders are there, clicking away. Piper, Phoebe and Paige are standing off to the side.]

Piper: Is everybody okay?

Phoebe: No. Is my hair singed?

Piper: You’re fine.

Paige: I guess we’re not so all powerful after all. How’d we get out of there?

Piper: I guess Leo must have orbed us out. But I don’t know how, he doesn’t have that kind of power.

Paige: Well, he must have because we’re out of there. What is this place, a sewer?

(Roland turns to them.)

Roland: This is sanctuary.

Phoebe: Oh, my, my, my. (She walks over to him.) Aren’t you just the edible Elder? Have you taken a vow of celibacy?

Piper: Phoebe. Stay on target.

Phoebe: Right.

Piper: What do you mean this is sanctuary?

Roland: It’s a safe house. Set up by Leo to protect the Elders.

Paige: Well, it doesn’t look so safe to me. I can see unprotected points of entry all over the place.

Roland: Don’t worry, the Titans can’t sense our location. We’re hidden from them by a web of fairy magic. Another of Leo’s ideas.

Piper: Leo did all this?

Roland: I was surprised myself. I’m afraid I was one of the Elders who always sold Leo short. What with him marrying a witch and all. No offence.

Piper: Offence taken.

Roland: I will never make that mistake again. Without Leo we’d all be dead. He’s out there now tracking Elders as we speak, moving them here. We owe Leo everything.

Piper: I guess so.

Roland: Well, good luck with the Titans.

Phoebe: One more question. What are you wearing under that robe?

Roland: More robes.

(Paige laughs. Roland walks away.)

Phoebe: Oh, that is so hot.

Piper: This is getting tired.

Paige: A warrior preparing for battle cannot be weary.

Piper: No, I’m tired of getting all this information second hand. I would like to hear it from Leo.

Phoebe: Piper, I’m sensing a blockage in your spiritual energy. What’s wrong, sweetie?

Piper: I need to talk to my husband. I-I appreciate him becoming a magical folk hero for the masses and all, I really do, but enough is enough. Leo! Remember me? Your wife! (Leo jingles.) Don’t you jingle me. I need more than a jingle here, mister. You will get down here right now!

(The sewers shake like an earthquake.)

Paige: Are you trying to alert the enemy?

Phoebe: Piper, I’m sure as soon as Leo figures out how angry you are, he’s gonna come running down here. (They look up and wait a moment.) Okay, you can come running now. Look, sweetie, it’s not like he’s not busy. He’s saving the world.

Paige: And buying us time to vanquish the Titans. Although, I don’t know where we’re gonna get the strength from. They had no problem with my power.

Phoebe: Then let’s try my power.

[Scene: Manor. Living room. Phoebe sits on the red sofa. Demetrius walks in.]

Phoebe: I’ve been waiting for you. (She gets up and walks over to him.) My whole life.

Demetrius: You have? Why?

Phoebe: Why? It doesn’t matter. (She picks up a feather and strokes his face with it.) The only thing that matters is that you’re here and I’m here. Do you know what that means?

Demetrius: We’re here.

Phoebe: Right. Together. Do you want me?

Demetrius: Very much.

Phoebe: I’m all yours. (He leans in closer.) But wait, what would Cronus think?

Demetrius: I don’t care what Cronus thinks. (Cronus walks in behind him.) If he tries to stop me, I’ll just…

Cronus: What are you doing, Demetrius?

Demetrius: The goddess wants to seduce me. I was just playing along until you got here.

(He goes over to Cronus. Phoebe sighs.)

Phoebe: Fooey!

(The Titans throw a stream of fire and a lightning bolt at Phoebe. Paige walks in and waves her hand. The Titans flicker away.)

Paige: End the war game.

Phoebe: My way didn’t work.

Paige: Nothing’s working. I need a break.

Phoebe: How did the Greeks do it?

(They walk into the parlor and sit down.)

Paige: Well, for one thing there were more of them. Like an entire mountain top full of them, till their powers consumed them.

Phoebe: Maybe declaring themselves as gods gave them the strength to defeat the Titans.

Paige: I’d rather be flayed alive.

Phoebe: Not an option for me. God, I miss Leo. (Chris orbs in.) Leo?

Paige: Oh, it’s just you.

Chris: Hello, to you too. So the Elders are taken care of. Where’s Piper?

Phoebe: She’s upstairs with the baby. Um, could you bring us Leo?

Chris: He’s busy. How’s it going here?

Paige: Not so good. I keep trying to come up with a plan to defeat the Titans but every battle simulation ends the same way.

Phoebe: With our death.

Paige: We could really use Leo right about now.

Chris: I’m starting to get that impression.

Phoebe: Could you bring him back?

Chris: For the last time, no. What is wrong with you two, huh? You’re acting hopeless.

Phoebe: I don’t know. I mean, I guess I always feel like this right before a big battle, and then Leo comes down and I don’t know how he does it but he makes me feel like I have the power to do anything.

Paige: Really? It’s different for me. It’s like I forget that I even have any training and I, and I can’t concentrate and Leo helps me focus and calm down. You know, I’m starting to think that we take Leo for granted. Are you sure you can’t get him.

Chris: Leo-Leo is up there, okay? And he’s gotta stay up there until… You know, what? I’m not gonna go over this again. What can I do to help you two get over the hump here?

Phoebe: Try saying this. It always works for Leo. Your power comes from your emotions.

Paige: What about this? Trust the power of three.

Phoebe: Or how about this one. I’m gonna go check with the Elders. Do you actually thinks he checks with the Elders?

Paige: Ha! No, he probably just orbs to a sports bar and buys his buddies rounds of drinks. (in a manly voice) Yeah, my wife thinks I’m up there. Here’s to the Elders.

(They giggle.)

Chris: You really are helpless without him.

[Scene: Heavens. Cronus and Demetrius are there.]

Cronus: Somebody’s still alive up here.

Demetrius: We don’t know that, Cronus. Maybe the world’s magic has increased since we were frozen in that…

Cronus: Demetrius. The trident, she had the trident. The Greek gods have been recreated which means somebody up here released their essence as mortals, which means somebody is still up here.

Demetrius: If you’re right and the gods have been recreated, (Leo peers around a large pillar) then we should be after them now before their powers grow too strong.

Cronus: No. Whoever’s up here will just create new gods. That threat must be dealt with now. I am sensing something.

Demetrius: Where?

Cronus: It’s faint. (He points to the pillar where Leo is hiding.) There. (They move slowly towards it.) Whoever created these gods, whoever’s hiding, they’re trapped. They can’t dematerialise without exposing themselves to us. (Suddenly, Leo turns invisible.) There’s only so many places up here they can hide. (They look around the pillar and see nothing.) I could have sworn.

Demetrius: I don’t see anything.

Cronus: Keep looking.

(They walk away. Leo becomes visible.)

[Cut to the manor. Piper’s Bedroom. Piper is there holding Wyatt.]

Piper: I know you miss him. I miss him too.

(Chris walks in.)

Chris: I need help.

Piper: Uh, excuse me, this is my bedroom. You can’t just walk in here anytime you want to.

Chris: Yeah, I know, but your sisters need you. I got them working on the Titans but I don’t know how long that’s gonna last.

(Piper puts Wyatt in his bassinet.)

Piper: I thought you needed me.

Chris: I did. I mean, I do. I need you ’cause they need you. Actually, they need Leo. Look, will you please just go deal with them?

Piper: What’s the matter, Chris? The all-knowing running out of answers?

Chris: Yes, yes, I am. If that will motivate you, yes. I’m losing control because I’m watching history repeat itself and nobody’s willing to do a damn thing about it.

Piper: I feel your frustration.

Chris: Piper, if it helps, I get it, okay? I do, really. You need Leo. Your sisters need Leo. But if you can’t stop…

Piper: You forgot the baby. The baby needs his father too.

Chris: Fine. But if you can’t stop missing your husband long enough to see the bigger picture…

Piper: There is no bigger picture than my family.

Chris: Well, then pay attention because the world I grew up in families hardly existed. I never had a chance to know mine.

Piper: Not my fault.

Chris: Not yet.

Piper: Is that what this is about? You blame us for what happened to you?

Chris: I just want you to get it right this time. Use your power of three. Use your power as gods. Save the world from going to hell.

Piper: If that’s what you want, then I will say it one more time and maybe you will hear me. We need Leo. Now excuse me, I have to go warm up a bottle.

(She leaves the room. Chris walks over to the bassinet. Wyatt’s force field surrounds the bassinet.)

Chris: Don’t worry, you’ll come to trust me in time. They all will.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Heavens. Leo is hiding behind a pillar. Chris orbs in beside him.]

Leo: What are you doing? You’re gonna expose us?

Chris: Shh! That’s the idea.

Cronus: Did you sense that?

Demetrius: Someone orbed.

(Chris peeks around the pillar and whistles. Cronus throws a stream of fire at Chris. He quickly pulls back behind the pillar.)

Chris: Hurry, go, Piper needs you.

(Leo orbs out. Chris peeks around the pillar and Cronus throws another stream of fire. Chris orbs out. The Titans disappear.)

[Cut to the manor. Piper’s room. Piper is lying on the bed. She sighs.]

Piper: Leo, how could you leave us? (Leo orbs in with the hood of his robe over his head. Piper sits up.) Who are you?

(Leo removes the hood.)

Leo: Hi, Piper.

Piper: You’re home. (She goes over and hugs him.) You heard my calls, right?

Leo: Of course I did, honey. But I had to make sure the Elders were safe and then I was cornered by the Titans.

Piper: I’m just thankful you’re okay. My mind was just racing.

Leo: I know. I felt it. Good thing Chris came when he did.

Piper: Chris?

Leo: He distracted the Titans so I could escape. Right now they’re probably following his orb trail so we don’t have…

(Piper looks at his hair.)

Piper: What’s wrong with your hair?

Leo: What?

(She touches a patch of white hair on his head.)

Piper: Um, it’s white.

Leo: Is it? (He looks in the mirror.) Wow, it must be from staying up there for so long.

Piper: I guess so.

Leo: Where are your sisters?

Piper: Well, they can wait a minute while we spend some time alone and then you need to hold your son.

Leo: Spoken like a true earth goddess.

Piper: What are you talking about?

Leo: You need to channel your hearth and home instincts to fight the Titans.

Piper: Leo, I was speaking from the heart not the hearth. Hi, I’m your wife, remember?

Leo: I do, but Chris can only throw off the Titans for so long. We need to be ready with a battle plan. Now, let’s find your sisters.

(Piper and Leo walk out into the hallway. The Elf Nanny walks around the corner.)

Elf Nanny: Ma’am, I was just coming to check on the baby.

Piper: That’s okay, ’cause he is actually sleeping, so…

(The Elf Nanny looks at Leo and her jaw drops.)

Elf Nanny: Welcome, wise one.

Piper: Oh, no, this is just my husband. He’s not an Elder. He’s just wearing this robe because… Why are you wearing this robe?

Leo: It was windy up there.

Piper: See, so you can take a break ’cause, you know, Wyatt’s asleep. Okay, here we go.

(Piper and Leo go downstairs.)

[Cut to the parlor. Phoebe and Paige are there. Phoebe is reading up on Zeus.]

Phoebe: It says in here that Cronus swallowed his new born children to keep them from over throwing him.

Paige: What if you lure the Titans to a field, Piper lifts them with a tornado, and I hit him with my lightning?

Phoebe: I’m afraid there’s no way to beat a man who eats his own children.

(Piper and Leo come down the stairs.)

Leo: Those stories are fables.

Phoebe: Leo!

(Phoebe hugs Leo.)

Paige: Welcome home, Leo.

Leo: What do you have for me?

Phoebe: Paige ran every battle plan she knows which as a war goddess is basically every battle that’s ever been fought.

Paige: No matter how you spin it – warrior, seductress, earth mother – we don’t have the power to defeat the Titans.

Phoebe: We can’t beat them. They’re too strong for us.

Piper: See how much this family needs you?

Leo: No. I don’t. You can do this without me. And it’s not because you have the power of gods or the power of three. It’s because you are the greatest force of good that I know and that’s why I chose you.

Phoebe: Oh, see I could just feel the confidence wash all over me. He’s doing it.

Piper: What is he doing?

Leo: Paige, you know exactly where to find the power to conquer the Titans.

Paige: I do?

Leo: Yes. You just need to focus.

Paige: We have to declare ourselves gods.

Leo: It’s how the ancient Greeks did it.

Piper: Chris told us not to do that.

Leo: Well, Chris is wrong. He doesn’t know you like I do.

Phoebe: But Leo, the ancient Greeks lost their humanity.

Leo: You’re not the ancient Greeks, you’re the Charmed Ones. I didn’t give you anything you can’t handle. Phoebe, you lost yourself to the darkest love that ever existed and you came back. Of course, you can handle being the goddess of love.

Phoebe: I never thought of it that way.

Leo: Paige, you’re the goddess of war because you’ve been consumed with gaining power but you’ve never let the power consume you. Piper, is it any wonder I made you the goddess of earth? You are everything that is good and beautiful in this world. The mother of my son.

Piper: You really have that much faith in us?

Leo: Do you really even need to ask that? It’s like I’ve always said, your power comes from your emotion and right now you need to dig deeper than you ever have before. Whatever motivates you. Your heart, your soul, your darkest fears. Whatever it takes, you need to find that and channel it into power. Power not to capture the Titans, but to destroy them forever.

(Suddenly, Leo glows all over.)

Piper: Leo?

Leo: What’s happening to me?

Commercial Break

[Scene: P3. It’s empty. Cronus and Demetrius appear.]

Demetrius: He’s not here. Another dead end.

Cronus: No. The orb trail’s getting stronger. We’re getting closer. We’ll push ahead.

Demetrius: Wait, wait. Do you sense that?

Cronus: An Elder out in the open.

Demetrius: Do you think it’s our target?

Cronus: There’s only one way to find out.

[Cut to the manor. Piper’s room. Leo is playing with Wyatt who is in his bassinet. Wyatt is giggling.]

Leo: I’ll never leave you, I promise.

(Piper walks in.)

Piper: Why would you? Leo, what’s going on?

Leo: I’m not sure.

Piper: What do you mean you’re not sure? Chris! Where ever you are, get your ass over here!

Leo: It’s okay, Chris.

(Chris orbs in.)

Chris: This better be an emergency. You are going to lead the Titans straight to us.

Piper: What’s happening to my husband?

Chris: Something amazing.

Piper: You know what? Cut the crap. You knew the Elders were gonna die. You coached Leo up there. You knew all of this was gonna happen.

Leo: Did you?

Chris: You’re not serious.

Piper: Whatever it is you think you’re doing, you need to make it stop.

Chris: Piper, nobody chose this. It chose Leo. What he did up there for all of us was nothing short of a miracle. Now he’s receiving the ultimate reward. A chance to become…

Piper: Don’t you dare say it.

Chris: The world needs sources of good to watch over it. Do you know a source of pure goodness better than Leo?

Piper: Leo is not… He’s not an Elder, okay? Because Elder’s don’t live on earth. They don’t have families. Okay, just tell him you’re not an Elder.

Leo: I don’t know that I can.

Chris: I think you should get back to your sisters.

Piper: No. Not until you tell him.

Chris: They’re waiting for you.

Leo: Chris is right. You need to get back to Paige and Phoebe.

Piper: No. Not until you say it.

Chris: The Titans are gonna be here any moment.

Piper: I said no!

(Piper points at Chris and sends him flying across the room. He hits the door and is knocked unconscious. Leo rushes to him.)

Leo: He’ll be okay. You did it, Piper. You found your power. Now control it, don’t let it control you.

(They hear a crash from downstairs.)

Phoebe: (from downstairs) Piper!

[Cut to the conservatory. The Titans send Phoebe flying across the room.]

Cronus: Where is the Elder that created you?

(Phoebe gets back up. The room starts to shake. Piper appears. Cronus and Demetrius sends lightning bolts and a stream of fire at Piper. It doesn’t harm her.)

Piper: It’s not nice to piss of mother nature.

(Piper holds out her hands and the room starts to shake. A hole opens in the ground in front of the Titans. A chandelier above, falls from the roof and into the fiery pit below. A dresser falls into the pit. Paige grabs her trident and zaps the floor at the Titans feet. It crumbles and they fall into the fiery pit. The hold seals back up. Leo rushes down the stairs.)

Paige: So much for the Titans.

Phoebe: Thank god.

Piper: You’re welcome.

Leo: You did it, Piper. You found the power you needed. You all did. Now it’s time to give it back.

(Piper disappears.)

Commercial Break

[Scene: Manor. Living room. It’s raining and thundering outside. Phoebe, Paige, Leo and Chris are there. Paige is standing in front of Leo. Leo is holding an urn.]

Leo: Are you ready?

Paige: Just get it out of me.

(Leo lifts the lid of the urn and Paige’s god powers return to it.)

Leo: How do you feel?

Paige: Phew. Free. Anything on Piper?

(Paige sits next to Phoebe who is scrying.)

Phoebe: Nope, I still can’t get a read.

Chris: Just keep trying.

Paige: Okay, even if we do find her, how are we gonna get her back? She’s on this major power trip. She destroyed the Titans, not even the Greek gods could do that.

Chris: We’ve just gotta hope she has some humanity still left inside.

Leo: If anyone can come back from this, it’s Piper. I’ve gotta go now. If you need me Chris knows how to get in touch.

Paige: Where are you going?

Leo: The Elders have returned to the heavens and they’re calling for me.

(He orbs out.)

Phoebe: Did he just bail on us? Is that what he did?

Paige: Uh, what about, you know, helping us find his wife?

Chris: He’s trusting in you to do that. You need to find Piper and talk her down before she sets up shop somewhere and throws the world into chaos. Then it’ll be too late for her.

Phoebe: Okay, maybe you missed the part about Piper being Leo’s wife.

Chris: Look, you have to understand. Things have changed. The Elders need Leo up there to help restore order.

Paige: Cut to the chase, future man. Is this about Leo being turned into an Elder, or what?

Chris: He’s on the path.

Phoebe: Okay, don’t give us that creepy pod-people smile. Okay, in your world, being an Elder may be cool but in our world it pretty much sucks. Leo is our brother-in-law…

Paige: And our Whitelighter…

Phoebe: And our friend.

Paige: And we don’t want to lose him.

Phoebe: So listen, you go up there and tell him… (Suddenly, a tree branch hits the window, smashing it. Phoebe screams.) What is going on with this storm?

(Paige realises something.)

Paige: Piper. Piper’s what’s up with this storm.

Phoebe: What do you mean?

Paige: Remember when the Titans were first released, the major weather shifts, and the earthquake.

Phoebe: Yeah.

Paige: When you have power over the earth like the Titans did, it’s bound to suffer your emotional baggage.

Phoebe: And like Leo says, our power comes from our emotions. Okay, okay. So if you’re a god and you’re angry and you’re taking it out on the city, where would you go?

Paige: Somewhere high where I could enjoy the damage I’m inflicting.

[Cut to a high mountain just before the Golden Gate Bridge. Piper is standing there soaking wet from the rain. She raises her arm and several flashes of lightning strikes down on the city. Phoebe and Paige orb in holding an umbrella.]

Paige: Piper!

Piper: Stay away from me.

Paige: We’re taking you home.

Phoebe: To your family.

Piper: What family?

Phoebe: To your son. Wyatt. Remember him?

Paige: He needs his mother.

Phoebe: He already lost his father, don’t take his mother away from him too.

(Piper disappears.)

[Cut to the heavens. The Elders are there. Piper appears.]

Piper: Where is he? Where is Leo?

(Leo goes over to her.)

Leo: Piper, what are you doing here?

Piper: How can you do this?

Leo: Uh, excuse us for a minute.

(Piper and Leo move across the room.)

Piper: You asked me to marry you and I did. You wanted a family and I gave you a son. And now you want me to watch you just walk away?

Leo: It’s not that simple.

Piper: Then make it simple. Because I’m trying really hard to understand.

Leo: Piper, if I had a choice in any of this, I would choose you. I always have.

Piper: Then choose me now. Then let’s go home.

(She holds out her hand.)

Leo: Don’t you think I want to?

Piper: I don’t know. And that’s what scares me the most.

(Piper sniffs.)

Leo: The Elders were wrong about us. They didn’t think our love could survive but it did. Our love blessed us in ways they couldn’t even imagine. It gave you the strength that you needed to take over from Prue, it produced a baby with a greater future than any of us, and it made me…

Piper: An Elder.

Leo: Our love it transcendent, Piper. It lifted me up so high that this was the only possible result. Being an Elder wasn’t my destiny, but yet here I am because of you.

(She starts to cry.)

Piper: I can’t just give up. I don’t know how.

Leo: You can’t fight this. Not this.

(The god powers leave Piper and float back into the urn behind the door.)

Piper: How am I supposed to do this alone?

Leo: You have your sisters.

Piper: It’s not the same. Will I ever see you again?

Leo: I don’t know. I’ll always be watching over you.

Piper: But you won’t be there for Wyatt. You’re gonna miss so much.

Leo: I will never leave Wyatt’s side. He will always feel my presence. It’s not the same as human love, he needs you for that.

Piper: He’s got me. And I hope that’s enough. But what if it’s not?

(She cries.)

Leo: As an Elder I have the power to take your pain away.

Piper: You can’t make me forget you.

Leo: No. Help you find peace.

(They hug. Leo glows and then Piper glows.)

[Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Phoebe and Paige are there. Phoebe is on the phone. Paige is making a pizza.]

Phoebe: (on phone) I know, Elise, yeah, it really was a great costume. I’m just glad that the night was a success. Okay. You too. Bye. (She hangs up.) Well, I managed to raise $18,000 for The Bay Mirror children’s foundation. Gotta admit, being a goddess did have its perks. I even got a second date with Evan.

Paige: What’s Jason gonna think?

Phoebe: You know, I miss Jason, I really do but I can’t put my life on hold for him. You know, if he comes back to San Francisco then we’ll give it another shot. How about you? You miss being a warrior princess?

Paige: No, I do not miss being a warrior princess. In fact I don’t think I’m even gonna miss being super witch.

Phoebe: What do you mean?

Paige: I’ve been on this crazy magic journey for so long now I just think it’s time to slow down a bit. You know, I’ve kind of let my career slide, let my friends slide. I think I’m just tired and I need a break.

(They pick up food trays.)

Phoebe: Got it? (Paige nods. They walk into the dining room where the table is set.) You know, Paige, you should be really proud of yourself. All that hard work paid off. We beat the Titans.

Paige: Yeah, I am, it’s great. I guess I’m kind of looking forward to a change, you know, to help me take my mind off what we’re losing.

Phoebe: Sweetie, you can’t look at it that way. We didn’t lose him, he’ll be watching over us.

Paige: It’s different.

(The doorbell rings.)

Phoebe: Come in!

(Darryl and Sheila walk in.)

Sheila: Hi.

Darryl: Hey.

Paige: Hi.

Sheila: Are you sure you want us over today?

Darryl: Yeah, I mean, we don’t wanna intrude.

Phoebe: No, you’re not intruding. This was Piper’s idea.

Sheila: I can only imagine what she’s going through. How’s she doing?

Phoebe: We’re not really sure.

Paige: She wanted to be alone with the baby last night.

Darryl: Yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t come out of her room for like a year.

(Piper comes down the stairs all cheery.)

Piper: Hi, guys, I’m so glad you could come.

Darryl: Hi.

Sheila: Hi. We wanted to show our support.

(She hands her a bunch of flowers.)

Piper: Thank you.

Darryl: Yeah. Leo was… is… somebody…

(There’s an awkward silence.)

Piper: Oh, come on, guys, this is a celebration. Leo got promoted. We should all be happy for him. I am.

Paige: You are?

Piper: Of course I am.

Phoebe: Piper, you don’t have to put on a brave face. We’re all here for you.

Paige: Suppressing emotions in this family can be dangerous.

Piper: No, I’m not suppressing anything, really, I’m okay. Now let’s eat before the baby wakes up from his nap. Oh, I forgot the baby monitor. Here. (She gives Phoebe the flowers.) Be right back.

(Piper runs upstairs.)

Phoebe: Okay, let’s eat.

Darryl: Yeah, come on, honey.

(Darryl and Sheila go into the dining room.)

Phoebe: Something’s wrong with Piper.

Paige: Maybe she’s moved on.

Phoebe: Piper doesn’t move on, she fights. I’m telling you, that wasn’t Piper.

[Cut to outside. Chris is sitting on the stairs. Leo orbs in.]

Chris: So the Elders decide what to do with me yet?

Leo: Well, you’ve been the subject of heated discussion. One thing we agreed upon is you can’t return to the future.

Chris: I figured as much. The timeline’s changed, I don’t even know what I go back to. So what did they decide?

Leo: The Elders voted to make you the Charmed Ones’ new Whitelighter.

Chris: They did?

Leo: As a reward for helping to defeat the Titans but then somehow I figured you knew that. You know, I can’t stop thinking about what Piper said and wondering myself if this wasn’t part of your plan all along. Take good care of them, Chris. Don’t forget, I’ll be watching over you.

(Leo orbs out and as the white orbs leave, Chris waves his hand and the white orbs explode into nothing. He looks around and gets up. He walks inside and closes the door with telekinesis.)