Written by: Henry Alonso Myers
Transcribed by: Shay Fitzpatrick
Season 6, Episode 12
Episode Number: 123
[Scene: Snowy Mountains. Piper and a guy are there. The guy is holding skies.]
Guy: Come on, let’s go skiing.
Piper: Ah, I want to but…
Guy: But what? What’s holding you back?
Baby’s Voice: Mama, mama.
Guy: He must be pretty special, for you to give up everything.
(The guy vanishes.)
Baby’s Voice: Mama.
[Cut to the manor. Piper’s room. Piper is asleep on the bed. The baby monitor is sitting beside her. Wyatt screams. Piper wakes up and quickly gets up.]
[Cut to Wyatt’s room. A demon stands over Wyatt’s crib holding a wand-like object above him. Wyatt’s protective shield is up.]
Piper: Wyatt. (The demon turns around and raises his arms. He drops the wand and it disappears. Piper runs in and blows up the demon. Wyatt’s shield goes down. Piper goes over to Wyatt.) Hey. It’s okay. (She picks him up.) It’s okay, it’s okay.
[Cut to a cave. A dozen robed men are standing around chanting. A bright light with an image of Wyatt is in the centre of the room.]
Head Demon: At last, we have found you.
[Scene: Manor. Wyatt’s room. Piper is sitting there with Wyatt on her lap. She gets up and puts him in his crib. She looks over at a picture of herself, Leo and Wyatt.]
[Cut to downstairs. Foyer. Phoebe and Paige walk in carrying shopping bags.]
Phoebe: I think she’s upstairs.
Paige: Ahh, I got a neck spasm.
Phoebe: Don’t drop the bags, she’ll hear you.
Paige: Thanks for your concern.
(Darryl and Sheila walk in after them.)
Sheila: Are you okay?
Paige: Yeah, sometimes it flairs up under stress.
Darryl: Yeah, you got enough stress in your life, that’s for damn sure.
(They walk into the dining room and put the bags on the table.)
Sheila: What you guys do, I’m surprised it doesn’t flair up all the time.
Paige: It’s not the demons, it’s this birthday stuff, especially Piper’s. I always screw up the surprise.
Darryl: I’ll take these to the kitchen.
Paige: Oh, thanks. (Darryl grabs a bag and goes into the kitchen.) Plus, I have no idea what I’m gonna get her and obviously time is running out.
Phoebe: Paige, I told you, you can come in on the dinner with me, I don’t mind.
Paige: I appreciate that, but I don’t want to jump on your bandwagon. I wanna do my own thing.
Sheila: Well, being a mum, I can tell you that a nice normal dinner with friends and family is the perfect gift. Especially since you guys don’t live here anymore.
Phoebe: No, the perfect gift actually doesn’t exist anymore.
Paige: Do tell.
(Darryl walks in.)
Darryl: Hey, do these go?
Paige: Ah, no, grab those two.
Phoebe: The charm bracelet that mum gave Piper and Piper loved it but then Prue lost it.
Paige: Why don’t we just cast a…
Phoebe: A lost and found spell? I tried it, it didn’t work.
Sheila: Is Jason coming to the party?
Phoebe: No, he’s in some far away land, like Zimbabwe or something.
Sheila: It must be fun you guys travelling around the world together.
Phoebe: Yeah, it’s-it’s nice. I just, I really miss home. I’m happy to be here right now.
Darryl: What about your beau? Is he coming?
Paige: Richard? No, he’s kind of got a bit of a problem with magic. Or it has a problem with him.
Darryl: He doesn’t like it?
Paige: No, magic just doesn’t like him. It’s a long story.
Sheila: So it’s just us then?
Darryl: What about Leo?
Phoebe: Yeah, we kind of thought that that was inappropriate. (They hear footsteps upstairs.) That’s her. Out, out. Hurry.
Darryl: We’ll see you tomorrow then.
(Darryl and Sheila rush out the door.)
Phoebe: Paige, the groceries. (Paige grabs the bags and orbs out. Piper comes down the stairs.) Hey.
Piper: Hey, how’s that surprise party going?
[Cut to the kitchen. Paige is stuffing the bags into a cupboard. Piper walks in with Phoebe racing after her.]
Phoebe: Wh-What do you mean, surprise party? There’s no surprise party.
Piper: Just do me a favour and don’t invite Greg. Or any other guys for that matter, because I’m done with them.
Paige: I’m sorry?
Piper: It’s kind of an epiphany I had, um, right after I vanquished a demon in Wyatt’s room.
Phoebe: Wait, excuse me?
Piper: You know, an epiphany, a revelation.
Phoebe: No, I know about the epiphany. What do you mean a demon?
Paige: Okay, why didn’t you call us?
Piper: Well, I didn’t want to bother you. It’s no big deal, I blew him up, he’s gone.
Paige: Okay, do you know every time you say that, they come back with a vengeance?
Phoebe: Kiss of death.
Piper: It doesn’t matter because I’m on it full time now. I’m actually thinking of selling the club, ’cause I have a new mission in life and it’s all become very clear to me.
Paige: Would you care to elaborate?
Piper: Do you guys know that Wyatt called me mama?
Phoebe: He did? Oh, his first word.
Piper: Right after he was attacked. I don’t think I’m gonna be putting that in his baby book.
(Piper leaves the kitchen. Phoebe and Paige follow.)
Paige: Back to giving up guys.
Piper: It’s kind of freeing, actually, you know, not having to play the dating game. It was just a big waste of time for me anyway. I mean, I gave it my best shot, I did. But it just didn’t work out for me.
(They head for the front door.)
Paige: Okay, that is completely ridiculous. You’ve been single for six months.
Piper: No, that’s fate, it’s my fate, and I accept it. Apparently you only get one soul mate in a life time, so I guess Leo was mine. And now I’m ready to devote my life to protecting and raising Wyatt.
(Piper opens the front door.)
Phoebe: What about sex?
(Piper gets the mail out of the letter box and walks back inside.)
Piper: Well, you know, I’m the mother of one of the most magical creatures ever. Sex rather pales in comparison, don’t you think?
(Piper leaves the room.)
Paige: She doesn’t need a party, she needs an intervention.
[Scene: Cave. The robed demons are standing around a glowing image of Wyatt.]
Head Demon: He led us long ago, and once he returns, he will lead us again and we’ll reward you for your unwavering fate. (The demons chant. A demon steps forward and takes a wand from the head demon.) Help us to cleanse him of the poison that has corrupted him. Turn him that he might lower his guard so that we may return him to the fold, to his destiny.
(The demon holds up the wand and a pink beam of light shines into Wyatt’s eyes. The demon reaches into the image and the demon catches on fire. He screams and is vanquished. The wand drops to the floor.)
[Scene: Manor. Attic. Paige is there, making a potion. Phoebe walks in.]
Phoebe: Okay, Piper couldn’t find the demon in the book. Any luck up here?
Paige: Uh, actually, I’m working on something else.
Phoebe: A vanquishing potion?
Paige: No. A birthday present.
Phoebe: A birthday present. Paige, you’re not going to be able to find the charm bracelet.
Paige: Trust me, this will be even better. The perfect gift.
Phoebe: Okay, what are you talking about?
Paige: I figured Piper has no love in her life right now, so I think she needs a little love back in her life.
Phoebe: Okay, so you’re making a love potion?
Paige: No, I’m making a love machine. I am making the perfect man.
Phoebe: Are you kidding me? Are you out of your mind?
Paige: No. I don’t think I am. Listen, we’ve conjured magical beings before, so, you know, hey, what’s the big deal?
Phoebe: The big deal is they always come back to bite us in the ass.
Paige: No-no-no-no. This one won’t. He’s just be around for her birthday from midnight to midnight.
Phoebe: Paige, we can’t just conjure up a a sex toy.
Paige: Listen, I figure magic owes Piper. It has taken away the love of her life, and now it’s threatening to take away love from the rest of her life. Look, I get Wyatt is super important, I do get that. But I think this could be for the greater good.
Paige: Okay, let’s write down some qualities.
Phoebe: Qualities, what do you mean qualities?
Paige: You know, qualities for the perfect man.
Phoebe: Oh. Okay, well, I think she would want someone that, um, lives near by and, you know, doesn’t travel a lot.
Paige: Yeah, well, I would write down something about somebody who I could do magic in front of but these are you qualities you and I would want, not qualities that Piper would necessarily want.
Phoebe: Right, okay, um. I think she wants, you know, a strong man but someone that’s not afraid to show his sensitive side.
Paige: Sensitive but not a wuss bag.
(Paige writes that down on a piece of paper and throws it in the potion.)
Phoebe: And someone that is a good listener.
Paige: Okay, good cook..
Phoebe: Handy around the house.
Paige: Good with kids.
Phoebe: Gets the whole normal life thing.
Paige: Has a really big…
Paige: Uh, is this the perfect guy or what?
Phoebe: Alright, throw it in.
[Cut to Piper’s room. Piper and Chris are there. Piper is flipping through the Book of Shadows.]
Chris: How am I supposed to protect Wyatt if you don’t tell me when a demon attacks until hours later?
Piper: Because, Chris, I’m taking care of it.
Chris: That’s fine, but what happens if this demon was the one? The one who was after Wyatt. The reason why I came back.
Piper: Well, then you’re in luck because I blew him up. Not to mention, how many demons have you said that about so far?
Chris: Piper, I’ve just got Wyatt’s best interest in mind.
Piper: So do I. Demon’s not in here.
Chris: Well, what’s it look like?
Piper: Tall, robed with a metal rod thingy.
Chris: Really? Well, that narrows it down.
Piper: If another one shows up I’ll be here.
Chris: That’s just my point, Piper, what if you’re not here? What happens if you have a date with the fireman or whoever else you’re seeing this week?
Piper: Look, Chris, I don’t want to go into it. But I’m not gonna be out on a date with the fireman or anybody else for that matter, anytime soon, so that I can focus more on Wyatt.
Piper: Did I stutter?
Chris: Piper, you can’t give up on love. Ever.
Piper: Why not?
Chris: Because you just can’t, that’s why. It’s not natural. Look, all I’m saying is you don’t have to make that type of sacrifice to protect Wyatt. That’s why I’m here.
Piper: Well, you weren’t here earlier, were you? (Piper leaves the room and walks down the hallway. Chris follows.) Look, the only thing that matters right now is what’s best for Wyatt.
Chris: This is not what’s best for Wyatt, Piper.
Piper: How do you know?
Chris: Because I’ve seen the future and this isn’t supposed to happen.
Piper: So what is supposed to happen?
Chris: Come on, you know I can’t answer that.
Piper: Well, since you’re sent from the future to change it, maybe this is one of the things that needs to be changed.
Chris: No, it’s not. (Piper goes into Wyatt’s room. Chris follows.) Believe me, it’s not.
Piper: Shh. (Piper sees a present on the dresser.) Who left this?
Chris: Look, if you’re so concerned about protecting Wyatt, there’s other ways to go about doing it, you know.
(Piper opens the card in the present.)
Piper: Like what?
Chris: Like letting Leo take him up there for a while. (Chris moves near the crib and Wyatt puts up his protective shield.) You could always bind his powers.
Piper: Leo left me a birthday present. How sweet.
Chris: Will you think about what I said?
Piper: About what?
Chris: About binding Wyatt’s powers.
Piper: No way.
Chris: Why not? Nobody would ever be after him and you’d have your life back.
Piper: But that would be selfish of me, wouldn’t it? Put my needs before his destiny. I’m not being a martyr, Chris, I’m not. I just get it now. I’m the mother of a very special child that if I do my job right, his gonna grow up to do very special things. What could possibly be more important than that? (Wyatt stirs and whimpers.) Sweetie, go back to sleep. I will be right back.
[Cut to the attic. Phoebe and Paige are finishing up the potion. It explodes.]
Phoebe: Okay, I can’t think of anything else.
Paige: One more thing. (Paige picks up a bottle.) Magical pheromones.
Phoebe: Magical pheromones?
Paige: Yeah, see, it’s just one thing to give him an extra shot, to help Piper be a little more receptive since he’s only got a day.
Phoebe: I hope we’re doing the right thing, I hope this doesn’t backfire, you know.
Paige: I don’t think it will. If this were a date, honey, this would be the martini.
(Paige throws in some pheromones.)
Phoebe, Paige: “A perfect man we summon now, another way we don’t know how, to make our sister see the light, some where out there is mister right.”
(Magical lights rise out of the potion and floats to the centre of the room. A naked man appears and turns to face Phoebe and Paige.)
Phoebe, Paige: Perfect.
[Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Phoebe, Paige and the man are there. The man is carrying a tray. They walk out of the kitchen.]
Paige: Okay, so, remember she’s gonna freak.
Phoebe: Big time.
Paige: So you just get as close as you can to her…
Phoebe: Yeah, really, really, really close.
Paige: And you just let those pheromones do their magic.
Phoebe: So you can do your magic.
(They reach the bottom of the stairs.)
Man: Ladies, ladies, please. You created me to know exactly what Piper wants. Don’t worry.
(The man walks upstairs.)
Paige: I have a question for you. Since when is Piper into hot Latin types?
Phoebe: Since I put in the hot Latin type ingredient.
Paige: Oh, Phoebe.
Phoebe: What? Are you complaining?
[Cut to Piper’s room. Piper is asleep in bed. The man walks in.]
Man: Happy birthday, Piper. (Piper sits up quickly and gasps.) Eggs benedict, easy yolk. Steamed asparagus, fresh fruit, orange juice, no pulp. How do I do?
Piper: Phoebe! Paige!
(Phoebe and Paige come around the corner.)
Piper: Wh-What’s going on? Who is this?
Paige: Well, uh, this is your birthday present. From me. Although, you know, Phoebe helped.
Piper: The breakfast?
Paige: No, the muchacho.
(Piper laughs and gets out of bed.)
Piper: You, you, you hired a guy for my birthday?
(Piper puts on her dressing gown.)
Phoebe: No, we would never hire a guy for your birthday.
Paige: We made him. Magically.
Phoebe: Ah, you know what? This is Paige’s present for you. Mine’s the surprise birthday party.
Man: I know you’re pretty mad, aren’t you?
(Piper leaves the room.)
Phoebe: I knew we should’ve used more pheromones.
(Phoebe runs after Piper.)
Paige: Hey, you. Come with us.
[Cut to the stairs. Piper is walking down them with Phoebe following.]
Phoebe: Piper, wait.
Piper: No, not until you send him back to wherever the hell you conjured him from.
(Paige and the man walk down the stairs.)
Paige: We can’t, not until your birthday’s over.
Phoebe: Yeah, so why not take advantage of him while you can. I mean, figuratively speaking of course.
Paige: Ah, hell, literally. It is your birthday.
Piper: I can’t believe you guys did this. Did you not hear me yesterday?
Phoebe: No, we did, loud and clear.
Paige: No, we just wanted you to change your mind.
Piper: So you whipped up a magical gigolo?
Paige: Oh, criminy, just give him a chance.
Phoebe: How could you resist him? Did you look at him?
Piper: This is like something we would do years ago before we knew better, but now we do know better, at least we’re supposed to.
Paige: You know what? Desperate times call for desperate measures.
(Paige pushes the man into Piper. Piper nearly falls back but he catches her.)
Man: I’m sorry. Are you alright?
Piper: Yeah, no, I’m pissed, remember? Are you wearing cologne?
Man: No. You don’t like cologne.
Piper: No, I don’t, do I?
Phoebe: But what does she like?
Man: Well, she likes long walks on the beach, shopping at the embarcadero, lunching at Zuni, deep tissue massages.
Piper: Well, that, yeah, that sounds great, but…
Man: So what are we waiting for?
Piper: No, I can’t, ’cause, uh, the demon.
Phoebe: We’ll take care of the demon, it’s done.
Piper: Well, what about Wyatt? I can’t just leave him.
Man: Can’t we take him with us? Maybe go to the fair. Or perhaps, the zoo.
Piper: I’ll get dressed.
Man: I’ll get him. Unless you don’t want me to.
Piper: No, no, you can get him.
Man: Okay. Excuse me, girls.
(He walks up the stairs.)
Paige: Cool your jets, lady, it’s for Piper.
Phoebe: Right. Stay on target.
[Scene: Golden Gate Bridge. Chris is standing on the very top of it. Leo orbs in beside him.]
Chris: Uh, finally, I’ve been calling you for hours, man. Where have you been?
Leo: What’s up?
Chris: What’s up? Your son was attacked yesterday.
Chris: Don’t worry, he’s fine, Piper vanquished the demon.
Leo: Who was he?
Chris: That’s the problem, he’s not in the book.
Leo: Well, we have to figure out who he is in case there’s another attempt.
Chris: On that point I have a radical suggestion, a way of protecting Wyatt from any and all future attempts.
Leo: I’m listening.
Chris: We get the sisters to bind Wyatt’s powers.
Leo: No way.
Chris: Come on, Leo, binding Wyatt’s powers solves all our problems, believe me.
Leo: No. Wyatt wasn’t brought into this world to be bound, I can’t condone that. Unless there’s something you’re not telling me. Alright, then we need to figure out who’s after Wyatt.
Chris: Okay. How?
Leo: Right here. Above the din of the city. It’s why I come up here. Just close your eyes, rely on your inner senses. Listen to the wind.
[Scene: Cave. The robed men are there. Another robed demon is vanquished by the image of Wyatt. The wand drops to the ground and the head demon picks it up.]
Head Demon: We’re running out of volunteers.
Demon: If we can’t turn the model, if we can’t get it to lower its guard, we won’t be able to turn the child either.
Head Demon: I find your lack of faith disturbing.
Demon: It’s because of my faith that I raise the concern, your eminence. The acolytes grow restless, the search has been long. Without reassurance that he can be converted, their evil may splinter off, scatter.
Head Demon: What do you suggest?
Demon: Another encounter with the child. To read his mind again to better see how his morals have been twisted. I offer myself to the cause.
Head Demon: Your sacrifice will be rewarded. But the witches will be better prepared this time, which means you will have to go in as somebody they know, trust. (He moves towards the image of Wyatt and holds out his hand. The image changes to several different people and then to Darryl.) Him.
[Scene: Manor. Living room. Phoebe is there talking on the phone. Paige walks in holding a box of crystals.]
Phoebe: Fly to New York right now, Jason? Oh, you’re so cute, I would love to but…
Paige: But she’s busy setting a demonic alarm system.
Phoebe: No, she said we’re busy watching a mechanic set up an alarm system. You know us girls, can never be too careful. (They walk into the conservatory. Paige puts down a crystal and it glows.) Baby, can I call you back later? Okay, I love you too. Bye. (She hangs up.) Cute, very cute.
Paige: Just trying to help.
Phoebe: What, are you trying to blow my secret?
Paige: Well, you said yourself you’re gonna have to tell him sooner or later.
(Paige puts down another crystal.)
Phoebe: Yeah, but I want to be the one to tell him, not AT&T. Hey, why are you in such a good mood?
Paige: Well, it’s nice to practice magic without feeling guilty. I guess we all have guy problems, right?
(Paige puts down another crystal. Leo and Chris orb in.)
Leo: Where’s Piper?
Phoebe: Uh, she’s out. Why?
Chris: Because we know who attacked Wyatt and we think they’re gonna attack again.
Leo: A demonic cult called the Order. They used to be the most powerful force until their leader was vanquished.
Chris: And guess what. (Chris picks up a rattle.) They think he’s been reincarnated.
Leo: He’s young enough to be turned evil. Especially by them. Where is Wyatt? Is he with Piper?
(They hear the front door open.)
Piper: Anybody home? A little help here.
[Cut to the foyer. Piper is there wearing a balloon hat, holding shopping bags and a bunch of flowers. Phoebe, Paige, Leo and Chris walk in.]
Paige: Where have you been?
Piper: Well, everywhere, actually. First we went shopping and then we went for a boat ride and then we had a picnic in a park, and then we stopped at the fair.
(She puts the stuff down and takes off the balloon hat.)
Chris: Where’s Wyatt?
Piper: Oh, he’s coming.
(The guy pushes Wyatt in his stroller through the front door. Wyatt has his face painted.)
Man: “If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands.” Hello.
Leo: Who are you?
Phoebe: Uh, he’s, he’s, you know, just a date.
(Leo and Chris look at Piper.)
Paige: A guy.
Piper: You know, you don’t have a name yet, do you?
Chris: What does that mean, he doesn’t have a name?
Man: Why not call me David. You’ve always liked that name, no?
Piper: No. I mean, yes. Isn’t he perfect?
(Phoebe and Paige sigh.)
Leo: What the hell’s going on here?
David: You don’t have to feel threatened by me, Leo. No one will ever replace you in Wyatt’s eyes. And Piper wouldn’t want anyone to.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, why don’t you guys put Wyatt down for a nap, I’m sure he’s really tired from all this excitement. Come on.
David: Okay. “If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands.”
(David pushes Wyatt towards the stairs. Piper follows.)
Paige: And don’t forget to turn off the demonic alarm system, you know, in case the baby mistakes him for a demon. (She looks at Leo and Chris.) Alright, fine, so I made him out of my own little brew.
Leo: You what?
Phoebe: Piper was gonna give up on love, on her birthday nonetheless.
Chris: So you conjured a man?
Paige: No, not just a man, the perfect man. See, he’s somebody who knows exactly what she wants and he’s just gonna be here long enough to strain her out.
Phoebe: Twenty-four hours, that’s it.. That’s great, right?
Paige: Yeah, not even twenty-four, really eight and then sadly he goes poof.
Phoebe: Yeah. You don’t want her to live life without love, do you Leo?
Leo: We’ll talk about this later after we deal with the Order.
(Darryl walks in through the front door.)
Darryl: Is this a bad time? I just wanted to drop this off.
(He holds up a tube.)
Paige: Darryl, why didn’t you just wait till dinner?
Darryl: Dinner. Actually, this is for Wyatt so he has a little something to open up too.
Phoebe: Oh, that’s so sweet.
(Phoebe goes over to Darryl and takes the tube off of him.)
Darryl: Ah, Sheila’s idea, actually. You mind if I give it to him?
(He takes it back off Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Oh, sure, yeah, they’re upstairs.
(Darryl heads for the stairs.)
Chris: Don’t you think maybe we should cancel the dinner party?
[Cut to upstairs. Darryl walks down the hallway. He spots a crystal on the floor for the security alarm. He walks into Wyatt’s room and spots two more crystals on the window sill.]
David: Shhh. Darryl, right?
Darryl: Right. How’s it going?
(Piper walks in.)
Piper: Hi, what are you doing here?
Darryl: Oh, just brought the little guy a present.
Piper: Oh, that’s really sweet but we just put him down for a nap.
Darryl: I’ll sneak it in so he can see it when he wakes up. He’ll never know I was here.
Piper: Okay. Shh.
Darryl: No problem.
(Piper and David leave the room. Darryl walks over to the crib and Wyatt’s shield appears. Darryl shape shifts into the robed demon. He opens the tube and pulls out the wand. He turns off the baby monitor.)
[Cut to downstairs. Phoebe, Paige, Leo and Chris are standing at the bottom of the stairs. Piper and David walk down the stairs.]
Piper: What’s up?
Phoebe: We need to talk. Wyatt may be in danger.
(The baby monitor Piper is holding crackles.)
Chris: Why is it doing that?
(Piper and Leo run up the stairs.)
Leo: (to David) You stay here.
[Cut to Wyatt’s room. The robed demon is holding the wand over Wyatt. A light is pouring out of the wand. Piper runs in. The robed demon drops the wand and it vanishes. Piper blows up the demon. Wyatt cries. Piper rushes over to him. Leo runs in followed by Phoebe, Paige and Chris.]
Leo: Is he okay?
Piper: You’re okay, you’re okay.
(Piper picks Wyatt up.)
Paige: Did he hurt him?
Piper: No, I think he’s okay.
[Scene: Cave. The wand appears in the Head demon’s hand.]
Robed Demon: Success.
Head Demon: We shall see. (He points the wand at the image of Wyatt and a light beam shines into his eyes. The demon reaches into the image.) He’s ready to come home.
[Scene: Manor. Living room. Phoebe, Paige and Chris are sitting there. Leo orbs in.]
Leo: He’s okay. He said they didn’t go anywhere near him.
Phoebe: Oh, thank god.
Paige: My question is how did they even know to impersonate him?
Leo: Well, they must have been watching you. See who he trusted and let near him.
Phoebe: That’s really creepy.
Chris: It’s gonna get a lot creepier if we don’t stop them from getting to Wyatt.
(Piper, holding Wyatt, and David walk down the stairs.)
Piper: We might have a thought about that.
Piper: Yeah, well, we’ve been talking and I think we need to give Chris’s idea another chance.
Phoebe: What idea?
Piper: About binding Wyatt’s powers.
Phoebe, Paige: What?
(Piper sits down with Wyatt.)
Piper: Well, I’m just saying we should consider it. I mean, if you think about it, it makes sense.
Leo: You can’t be serious.
David: Actually, she’s never been more serious.
Leo: Excuse me, I was talking to her.
Paige: This doesn’t sound like you, Piper.
David: Doesn’t it? Piper wants to protect her son. She wants a normal life. This way she can have both.
Chris: Hey, that was my argument.
David: Well, that’s a good one.
Phoebe: No, that’s not a good one. That’s a bad one, a very, very bad one. One that’s been discussed and discarded already.
Piper: Yeah, but that was before a demonic cult started targeting him.
Chris: I mean, this could be…
Paige: Oh, what? Just another big bad evil thing that’s coming after him? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got it.
Leo: It still isn’t a good enough reason.
David: Piper, thinks it is.
Phoebe: Hey, buddy, don’t forget who made you.
Chris: That’s right, you did make him, didn’t you?
Phoebe: Piper, I don’t understand. Yesterday you were willing to give up everything for Wyatt’s future. Why this now?
Piper: Well, you should know. You’re the one that, um, showed me what I really wanted and really need.
Paige: She’s got us there.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter because it’s gonna take the power of three to bind someone as powerful as Wyatt and I’m not gonna support it.
Paige: Neither am I.
Piper: Well, then we have a problem because I am.
Chris: Alright, why don’t we all just take a deep breath, okay? Leo, why don’t you orb Wyatt up there until we figure this thing out.
Leo: Gladly. (to David) Do you mind?
David: Oh, please.
(Leo goes over and picks Wyatt up. He orbs out with him.)
Chris: Alright, and why don’t we, David, right?
Chris: Why don’t you come with me and let the girls talk alone for a minute.
(Chris and David leave the room.)
[Cut to the attic. Chris and David walk in.]
Chris: So you’ve got quiet an influence on Piper, don’t you?
David: Well, I just reflect what she wants.
Chris: Interested. So, what, they just wrote down what she wanted and that was that?
David: I don’t know. I guess.
Chris: Huh. Let’s see.
(Chris writes something down on a piece of paper and throws it into the potion. David glows for a second.)
David: What were witches talking about?
Chris: Uh, Paige, and what she looks for in men.
David: Paige. She wants a man who she can openly practice magic around. One she won’t feel suppressed by.
Chris: Good, very good. And what about Phoebe?
(He writes something else down and throws it in the potion.)
David: Phoebe. She wants the same thing. Plus, she wants him to be available to live near her heart, that’s what she wants.
Chris: This potion packs a hell of a punch, doesn’t it? Of course, in order for them to be with the perfect man, is if they’re happy with each other first. (He writes something else down.) And the only way they can be happy with each other first is agreeing to bind Wyatt’s powers. (He throws the paper into the potion. David glows.) Pheromones. Ah, what the hell.
(Chris pours in some pheromones.)
[Cut to the dining room. Piper, Phoebe and Paige are there.]
Piper: This is my son we’re talking about.
Phoebe: Piper, you’re not listening to reason.
Piper: Phoebe, his life is in jeopardy and binding his powers may be the only way to save him.
Phoebe: That’s all that saved him. Paige, please help me.
Paige: Well, I think that… ow.
(David walks in.)
David: Oh, here, allow me. (David starts massaging Paige’s shoulders.) Just relax, okay? You keep all the tention in your shoulders.
Paige: You’re right. I love your cologne.
Piper: Hey, that’s my birthday present.
David: All day and all night.
(Chris walks in.)
Phoebe: Hey, what’s going on? I thought you were gonna keep him occupied.
Chris: I was, but then I figured I had to break the impasse between you three, so.
Phoebe: Really? How?
(Chris pulls David away from Paige.)
(David stands behind Phoebe and starts massaging her neck.)
David: Don’t worry, I’m hear for you, Phoebe. Not off taking care of business in some far away land.
Phoebe: Yeah, I like the sound of that.
Chris: So what do we think about binding Wyatt’s powers?
(The front door opens and Darryl and Sheila walk in carrying presents.)
Darryl: Knock, knock.
(Darryl picks up a crystal sitting near the front door.)
Darryl: Do you guys need this? I found it by the door.
(Phoebe gets up.)
Phoebe: Yes, we need it by the door. (She takes the crystal off of Darryl.) Don’t touch our crystals.
Paige: At least we know it’s really Darryl.
(Phoebe puts the crystal back in front of the door. David stands behind Piper and starts massaging her shoulders.)
Sheila: Ah, and who’s he?
Piper: Oh, ah, this is David.
Chris: Actually, guys, the dinner’s been cancelled. Sorry.
David: Why? The girls still want to party, don’t you?
Phoebe: Woo hoo!
Chris: But the dinner hasn’t been made.
Paige: Oh, I can fix that. “On Piper’s day set this table, with all the favours you’re able.” (Food and plates appear on the table, along with champagne glasses, candles and a cake. Decorations appear on the ceiling above.) Ah, not bad, huh?
Chris: No, no, this isn’t right, this isn’t what they want.
David: Hey, if it makes them happy, it’s what they want. Come on, have a seat.
Chris: What about Wyatt? Anyone?
(Everyone sits down.)
[Cut to Wyatt’s room. Three Order demons shimmer in. They see Wyatt’s empty crib.]
Order Demon: The child, he’s gone.
Order Demon #2: Can you sense him?
Head Demon: No, but they won’t keep him away for long. We’ll wait.
(The demons vanish into the wall.)
[Cut to the dining room. Everyone is eating.]
Sheila: So, how long have you known the girls?
David: Fourteen, fifteen hours, I guess.
Darryl: Did you say hours?
Paige: Oh, yeah, I made him. Magically.
Phoebe: Actually, we both made him.
Piper: For my birthday.
Darryl: Hell of a gift.
Phoebe: Yeah, we just wanted to remind Piper the importance of love.
David: Spiritual, emotional, deep in your heart love. The kind you should never ever stop searching for, Piper.
Piper: I know, you’re right, I know.
David: You’re going to have it too. I promise… your normal life.
Phoebe: Psst. (David turns to Phoebe. In her eyes he’s wearing a suit.) What about me?
David: You shouldn’t have to hide your secret anymore. I understand you.
Phoebe: I know you do.
Paige: What about my dinner?
(He turns to Paige and in her eyes he’s wearing a leather jacket.)
David: Magical, Paige. Just the way I like it. (He eats a pea.) Mmm.
Paige: They’re really good peas.
Chris: Excuse me. Wyatt, anyone?
(David takes Paige’s hand and she sits on his lap.)
Darryl: (to Chris) Is this some kind of demonic thing?
Chris: No, it’s some sort of messed up thing.
Sheila: Maybe we should go.
Chris: Good idea.
(Darryl and Sheila get up.)
Piper: Hey, y’all need to make your own present. Hey. (She pulls Paige off of David.) Off of the lap! (Paige grabs a handful of food and throws it at Piper. Piper stands up. Paige grabs the birthday cake and throws it at Piper. Piper freezes it in mid-air.) Oh, I see. We’re gonna play with cake now.
(Piper grabs the cake out of the air and throws it towards Paige.)
(The cake orbs out and orbs back in heading straight for Phoebe. It hits her right in the face. Piper laughs.)
David: Girls, girls! Come on, there’s plenty of me to go around.
(The girls start throwing food at each other.)
Darryl: Thanks for dinner.
Sheila: Happy birthday.
(Darryl and Sheila leave.)
Chris: (to David) How the hell are you making that happen? Now they’re fighting! Get them to bind Wyatt’s powers now!
[Cut to the attic. Piper, Phoebe, Paige, Chris and David walk in.]
Phoebe: Are you sure about this?
David: What you want more than anything is to get along. And this will help you do that.
Paige: Um, I’m pretty sure what we want more than anything is, um, a good dry cleaner.
(Leo orbs in with Wyatt. He puts him in the playpen.)
Leo: What happened?
Chris: You don’t wanna know.
Piper: We’re binding Wyatt’s powers.
(The three Order demons appear.)
Piper: We already decided.
Leo: You can’t be serious.
(The head demon shines the wand in Wyatt’s eyes. Wyatt’s eyes glow and his shield pops up. The shield hits Leo which sends him flying across the room, knocking over the girls and Chris. The Order demons walk into the shield.)
Order Demon: He’s one of us now.
(They shimmer out with Wyatt.)
[Scene: Manor. Attic. Piper, Phoebe and Paige are moving towards Chris.]
Chris: Listen to me, what are you doing?
Phoebe: The pheromones wore off.
Piper: Right after they took my son.
Chris: You don’t seriously believe this is my fault, do you?
Paige: Oh, right, so it’s just a big coincidence we all fell under Mr. Right’s spell?
Phoebe: And suddenly we all want to bind Wyatt’s powers?
David: You see, Chris, what they really want is for you…
Paige: For you to leave.
David: I knew that.
Chris: This is crazy. Leo, tell them.
Leo: Tell them what? I’m wondering the same thing myself.
Chris: Okay, so what if I did? I was only trying to protect Wyatt.
Piper: By tricking us?
Chris: I had to.
Chris: Because the only reason I came here was to keep Wyatt from turning evil.
Leo: Turning evil?
Paige: Wait, don’t you mean stopping evil from hurting him?
Chris: I didn’t think you’d help me if you knew the truth. I knew you wouldn’t. The evil from the future I came back to stop isn’t a demon. It’s Wyatt.
Piper: You’re lying.
Chris: No, I’m not. He’s gonna grow up and terrorise people with his powers, take over. Kill even.
Leo: Why should we believe you after all the lies?
Chris: Because you have to.
Piper: No, Chris, we don’t, actually.
Chris: Fine, then don’t. Either way, we need to save Wyatt now and I’m the one who knows how to do it.
Phoebe: Really? How?
Chris: The Order. They used their powers to turn him, to reverse his morality. See, he thinks bad is good now, and good is bad. That’s why his shield repelled you.
Chris: So Wyatt brings his shield up around me. He thinks I’m a threat.
Piper: Yeah, so do I.
Chris: Listen to me, they reversed his sense of morality. That means his shield will protect him from you but not from me. Please, I’m the only one who can save him. Let me help.
Piper: Chris, we don’t need your help. I will get my son back, and when I do, I don’t wanna see you anymore.
Chris: I’m sorry.
(Chris orbs out.)
[Scene: The Order demons are there, chanting. The head Order demon is holding Wyatt above an altar.]
Head Demon: Behold. He has returned to us. To his rightful place, (Piper, Phoebe and Paige orb in) who one day lead us back to… (The girls attack the demons. Piper blows some up. The head demon sits Wyatt down. Piper goes over to them and Wyatt puts up his shield, knocking Piper backwards.) He protects me now, not you.
(He creates a fireball. Chris orbs in and jumps on the head demon. The head demon is vanquished by his own fireball. The rest of the Order demons shimmer out.)
Chris: Pick up the scepter and point it at Wyatt. (Piper picks it up.) Trust me.
(She points it at Wyatt and Wyatt’s shield vanishes. Piper picks him up.)
Paige: How come he didn’t raise his shield back up for you?
Chris: I don’t know. Looks like he trusts me now at least.
[Scene: Golden Gate Bridge. Chris is sitting at the top. Leo orbs in beside him.]
Leo: Good place to think, isn’t it?
Chris: What do you want?
Leo: Just to talk. You know, trust, Chris, is a precious commodity. Once you lose it, it’s pretty hard to get it back.
Chris: What, did you read that out of a fortune cookie?
Leo: Don’t be a smart ass, it doesn’t help your cause.
Chris: My cause? Pretty much screwed that up, don’t you think.
Leo: I don’t know.
Chris: What, you’re saying you still trust me?
Leo: It’s not my trust that matters, it’s the sisters.
Chris: I know. So what do I do?
Leo: Just be straight to them, that’s all. Don’t manipulate them. Even if it is for the right reason. And for what it’s worth, yes, I do trust you. After all, you saved my son from turning evil, didn’t you.
Chris: For now.
[Scene: Manor. Stairs. David is sitting on the stairs. Piper walks over to him.]
Piper: Hi. I was just coming up to find you.
David: I know.
Piper: Yeah, see, that’s still kind of weird to me.
David: I know that too.
Piper: Listen, thanks for cleaning up the mess. You really are a perfect guy.
David: My pleasure. Well… (He stands up and moves closer to her.) I already said goodbye to your sisters. Now it’s your turn.
Piper: I feel like I should apologise or something.
David: Why? I’m okay with what’s about to happen. Really. I was made that way.
David: Did you at least have a good birthday?
Piper: Um, it was interesting to say the least.
David: You can’t live without love, Piper, we both know that. That’s all your sisters were trying to tell you. (The grandfather clock chimes.) Don’t ever stop dreaming about me, and never stop looking for love. (They kiss.) Happy birthday, Piper.
[Cut to Wyatt’s room. Piper tucks Wyatt in his crib.]
Piper: You go to sleep.
(Piper walks over to the dresser and opens her present from Leo. She pulls out a charm bracelet and smiles. The card reads “Happy birthday Piper, Always Leo”.)