Written by: Nell Scovell
Transcribed by: Shay Fitzpatrick
[Scene: Street. Prue and Phoebe pull up in the car. They get out and start walking.]
Prue: Alright, it should be around here somewhere.
Phoebe: And you can’t be more precise about what it is?
Prue: Okay, I told you, it’s some sort of evilly thing.
Phoebe: Why’d I let you talk me into this? I should be at home encrastinating my delinquent ethics paper, not chasing some wild goose.
Prue: Wild demon, okay? And I was scrying for unnatural activity and this place came up loud and clear.
Phoebe: Wait a minute, are you telling me you’re actually looking for trouble now? Prue, what happened to putting more balance in your life? You know, less Wicca wonder, more Prue.
Prue: Listen, I shot a magazine cover yesterday, I had a date last night, and then this morning I am searching for evil. You can’t get more balanced than that.
Phoebe: Right, just your typical everyday cosmo girl.
Prue: Well, you and Piper don’t need me anymore, so that leaves me plenty of time to help those who do.
Phoebe: Is that what you think? That we don’t need you anymore?
Prue: Well, I mean, it’s just that ever since Piper got married and you moved up with Cole, I feel like I don’t really have to watch out for you guys as much anymore.
Phoebe: Prue, this is a good thing.
Prue: Yeah. (Prue looks over at a dumpster.) I think that’s it.
Prue: Alright, on the count of three. One, two…
(She uses her power to open the lid of the dumpster.)
Phoebe: Oh my god! (She runs over to it.) It’s the coffee maker I wanted.
(She pulls out an empty box.)
Prue: Phoebe, it’s just a carton.
Phoebe: Oh, right, of course. See, I need you. You just protected me from making a fool out of myself.
Prue: Now there’s a full time job.
Phoebe: Thank you very much.
(They continue walk down the street.)
Prue: Hey, so, how’s Cole? I haven’t seen him in a while.
Phoebe: Oh, he’s been dodging demonic bounty hunters. You know, but he still manages to shimmer into the bedroom when he has a chance. Pops in and then pops right back out if you know what I’m talking about.
Prue: Huh, I vaguely remember.
Phoebe: Even though I’m really happy to see him, it’s starting to raise old issues for me. Like, does he really love me or is he just interested in my… charms?
Prue: Oh, Phoebe, come on, you know that for a magical fact that he loves you. Alright, and think how many times he’s risked his life to save you. I don’t think that’s just sex.
Phoebe: Yeah, but what about if it was really, really great sex.
Prue: Well… (They hear voices coming from an alley.) Seek and you shall find.
[Cut to the alley. Two men are there arguing. One man is holding a small crystal box.]
Man #1: Please, just one more.
Man #2: I told you! (He pushes man #1.) What you want is no longer in this box.
Man #1: I need more! Won’t you understand? I’ve gotta have more!
Man #2: You can never get enough greed, can you?
(Man #2 throws a fireball at him and he flies against a dumpster. Prue and Phoebe run over to them.)
Prue: Hey! (She uses her power on man #2. He drops the box.)
Man #1: The box.
(The two men both dive for the box. Prue uses her power and the box slides across the room. Man #2 tries to get up and Phoebe kicks him in the face.)
Man #2: That box belongs to Lucas.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, tell Lucas it’s been empoun… (he disappears) dered.
(Prue goes over to man #1.)
Prue: Hey, it’s okay, it’s over.
Man #1: No, gotta have more. Don’t you understand? I’ve gotta have more!
(He pushes Prue out of the way and runs onto the road.)
(The man is hit by a bus.)
[Scene: On the street. Continued from before. The police are questioning witnesses. Darryl goes over to Prue.]
Prue: Did you find out anything?
Darryl: Nothing unusual. Unfortunately we get the kind of suicides all the time.
Prue: Darryl, this was not a suicide, okay? He was driven into the street, demonically driven. I think that I can recognise the signs by now.
Darryl: Alright, it’s Robert Pike. He was married with two kids. Worked for Brickson investments at a stock broker. Very successful.
Prue: The demon accused him of being greedy. I wonder if there’s a connection?
Darryl: It’s hard to believe. It seems like Mr. Pike wasn’t your typical stockbroker. From all accounts was more of a philantphalist. He even hosted a fundraiser for the American cancer society just last night.
Prue: Well, he must have changed in a hurry because when we saw him, all he cared about was a box.
Darryl: What box?
Prue: This one.
(She opens her bag and he looks inside.)
Darryl: What is it?
Prue: I don’t know, but whatever it is, apparently it’s worth dying for.
[Cut to Phoebe being interviewed by a cop.]
Cop: In your opinion, was there anything the bus driver could have done to avoid him?
Phoebe: No, it happened too fast, he didn’t have time to react.
Cop: Alright, I think that’s it. If I could just have your home phone number in case I have any other questions.
Phoebe: It’s the same as my sister’s. We live together.
Cop: Really? Just out of curiosity, what would you say if one of my other questions was, can I take you out to dinner?
Phoebe: Ooh, you caught me off guard with that one.
Cop: That’s my job.
Phoebe: Uh, well, you’re very good at it. Um, but I-I think that it would be best if those numbers stayed in the report. I’m seeing someone.
Cop: I’m not surprised.
Cop: Excuse me.
(Phoebe walks over to Prue.)
Phoebe: Are you okay?
Prue: Um, I don’t know. I keep on thinking about what we could have done differently to try and save him but he ran into the street so fast, and…
Phoebe: We couldn’t have saved him, Prue. Not without knowing more about the demon who did this to him.
(The coroners take the body away.)
Prue: Lucas. To find him we have to find out what’s so special about this box.
[Scene: Lucas’ place. Lucas has Man #2 up in the air by the neck.]
Lucas: Do you have any idea how important that box is?
Man #2: I thought you were working on controlling your anger.
Lucas: I am controlling my anger!
(He drops the man. The man holds up a crystal.)
Man #2: At least we got the business man sold, Lucas.
Lucas: Yes, but I need to deliver seven souls for seven sins.
Man #2: Can’t you just locate the box?
Lucas: Yes, but I have to figure out a way to get around the witches first. Thanks to you. You know, my own self destruction was supposed to bring me peace from sin. Instead, I am damned to spend eternity inflicting others.
Man #2: You gotta know the product to move it.
Lucas: I know the product. I know how sin works human desire. Which might be exactly the way to get to the witches. Yeah, sure, why not? Witches have human desires too, right? (He laughs.) You know, there’s only one thing that I can’t quite figure out. Why do I need you? (A bright light shoots out of his hands and flies into Man #2. Man #2 disappears in a ball of flames.) I needed to vent.
[Scene: Manor. Prue and Phoebe walk inside. Prue gets the box out of her bag.]
Phoebe: Don’t open that. Let me go get Piper first.
Phoebe: Oh, gee, Prue, I don’t know. Maybe so you don’t go running in the street and get hit by a bus too. (Phoebe goes in the kitchen where Piper is making sushi.) Piper, we need… Wow. Expecting company?
Piper: Uh, no, I was just making Leo a little something to eat. You know, break up his day.
Phoebe: And something to take up all of yours?
Piper: Well, sushi don’t roll itself. Besides, I like taking care of him and cooking for him and dressing up for him. I was actually thinking of going out and buying him a whole new wardrobe. You know, de-flannel him a little.
Phoebe: What, you afraid you’re gonna lose him? Wait, are you?
Piper: Well, I’m certainly not gonna give the Elders any excuse to take him away again, that’s for sure.
Phoebe: No, Piper, they wouldn’t do that. You guys are married now.
Piper: So, there is nothing in those wedding vows that says they still can’t break us apart. Besides, I don’t wanna be complacent about my marriage. Neither he nor they are gonna find any fault in me.
Phoebe: Well, they might find fault in us. Prue and I lost an innocent this morning, so we need you. (They walk into the living room. Prue is looking closely at the box.) Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?
Prue: Uh, opening the box.
Phoebe: You’re supposed to be waiting for me and Piper.
Prue: Okay, so you’re here. I’m gonna open it.
(Phoebe takes it off her.)
Phoebe: What if you unleash some huge abomination?
Prue: Whatever it is, I’m sure that we can handle it.
Piper: But at least I think we should call my husband and ask his opinion first.
Prue: Okay, but we didn’t need his opinion before when he was just Leo.
(Leo orbs in.)
Leo: You called?
Phoebe: But as long as you’re here. Box. Intercepted from a demon. Open it? Yay or nay?
Leo: Have you checked the Book of Shadows?
Piper: No. But that’s a great idea. Leo, you’re a genius. What would we do without him?
Prue: Oh, I don’t know. I guess our lives wouldn’t be this smooth running, carefree existence that they are today.
Piper: Oh, uh, Phoebe, your ethics professor called about your meeting today at 2:00.
Phoebe: Well, obviously I can’t make it now.
Prue: No, no, no, you should go. I mean, you’re too close to graduating to mess up now. The three of us can handle the box.
Phoebe: Are you sure?
Prue: Yes, go. Although, you might want to change into, oh, I don’t know, clothes. Actual shirt.
(Phoebe looks down at her open vest, showing most of her bra.)
Prue: Okay. That’s very… let’s go.
(They all go upstairs.)
[Time lapse. Attic. Prue, Piper and Leo are there. They have the Book of Shadows opened up to a page on ‘The Seven Deadly Sins’.]
Prue: ‘Bottled at the Source by the Source.’ So what, it’s a box of sin?
Piper: Good thing you didn’t open it. It would have been Pandora all over again.
Leo: Not quite. But this may be how the myth got started. Only it’s much more specific type of attack. According to this, the box contains seven balls of sin used to corrupt paragon’s good.
Piper: If you’re a paragon of good, how do you get corrupted?
Leo: Because no one is immune to sin. Whether it be pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed or sloth. Whichever one you’re predisposed to, is the one that attacks you.
Prue: Well, the business man must have been attacked by greed, that’s why he kept on wanting more.
Leo: Only his greed was magnified a thousand times.
Prue: And it explains why my scry worked. I felt the unnatural activity was the demon courier. But it must have been the sin working against the businessman’s good nature.
Piper: Okay, so what do we do now?
Leo: Well, the infector appears to be the link. Destroy Lucas and the sins lose their power.
Prue: Do we know anything about these infectors?
Leo: Only that they were humans consumed by sundering life and in death.
Piper: So what we need to do now is find a spell to remove the sin from the infected human incase Lucas strikes again, right?
Prue: You can’t remove sin magically or otherwise. It’s apart of all of us.
Piper: Even you?
Prue: Yes, even me. Just a teeny little bit. Nothing that anyone would notice but me.
[Cut to downstairs. Lucas appears and picks up the box. Phoebe comes down the stairs.]
Phoebe: Okay, you guys, wish me luck. (She sees Lucas.) Hey.
Lucas: It’s okay. I think you’re gonna like this one.
(A sin ball hits Phoebe. Prue, Piper and Leo come down the stairs. Three more sin balls hit them. Lucas disappears.)
Phoebe: What was that? What just happened?
Piper: Oh, no, don’t tell me we got infected with the sin thingy.
Phoebe: What do you mean? (to Prue) What is she talking about?
Prue: Okay, nobody panic. Does anybody feel different?
Piper: Me neither.
Prue: Alright, so maybe we’re immune because we’re magical.
Leo: I don’t know, I better orb up and ask.
Prue: You do that. Piper and I will go recheck the book, and you missy, you get your butt to that meeting and charm the pants off of your professor. Go, and get home as soon as possible. (Prue pushes Phoebe out the door. Phoebe tries to protest.) No, I’m sure, go!
[Scene: College. Phoebe’s professor’s office. Phoebe is sitting in a chair.]
Professor: The problem is, it’s an ethics course, it’s about the dialectic. So when someone misses as many classes as you have, it’s hard to catch up. (Phoebe sighs and rubs her forehead.) Are you okay?
Phoebe: I don’t know.
Professor: Plus, you owe me a major paper, and if I don’t get it soon…
Phoebe: What are you gonna do to me?
Professor: I’ll have to give you an incomplete. I’ll have no other choice. Now, do you have anything else to say to me?
Phoebe: I’m not wearing any underwear.
Professor: Excuse me?
Phoebe: Yeah, I find it to… constricting.
Professor: Are you making some kind of a joke?
Phoebe: No, I’m serious. Dead serious. (She stands up.) I’ve been a bad girl. A very bad girl. (She slowly moves closer to him.) And I’ll do anything to make it up to you. I’ll do anything to pass. Anything.
(She grabs him and they fall over the desk onto the floor.)
[Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Piper is sitting at the table talking on the phone, and flipping through a magazine.]
Piper: Ah, no, that’ll be it. Just the two Armani suits size 42, the Donna Karan dress, the three pairs of Stuart Weitzman shoes, the Wong Gucci jacket and the Prada bag. What’s the total?
(Prue walks in.)
Prue: Alright, we don’t have much time…
Piper: Shh! I’m on the phone with Bloomingdales. (on the phone) Oh, okay, um, well, then I’m gonna have to split that on two credit cards. You can put $5000 on the card that’s on file, and the re– (Prue hangs up the phone.) What are you doing?
Prue: Uh, saving your life or at least your credit rating, which is your life.
Piper: Excuse me, Leo needs suits.
Prue: Leo doesn’t wear suits.
(Piper picks up a wine glass and has a sip.)
Prue: A-a-are you drinking in the middle of the day?
Piper: I was a little bummed about this sin thing, so I thought I deserved a little indulgence. Would you like a bit of bubbly?
Prue: No, I would like a little bit of help. We are supposed to be tracking down Lucas.
Piper: Sorry. Catch me up.
(Prue sits down.)
Prue: Alright, so it turns out that those sin balls work a lot faster than we thought. Once infected, the victim only has a few hours before it drives them to a total self destruction.
Piper: Well, good thing we weren’t infected then, huh?
(Piper picks up a chocolate and takes a bite.)
Prue: Right. But now that Lucas has the box, the question is who will be. I mean, I tried scrying for unnatural activity but it just kept pointing back to the manor.
(Phoebe runs in.)
Phoebe: Guess what? My ethics professor kicked me out of class.
Prue: What? Why, what happened?
Phoebe: I don’t know, I don’t know. One minute I was telling him why my paper was late, the next thing I knew was… unzipping his pants with my teeth.
Prue: Oh, Phoebe, you do know that charming the pants off someone is just a figure of speech, don’t you?
Phoebe: I don’t know what came over me, Prue. I’m just glad that I realised what was happening before I… eww!
Prue: Alright, unfortunately, what got into you is lust. As in the sin of.
Piper: Wait a minute, now you think we were infected?
Prue: Hello? Gluttony, table for one.
Prue: Oh, no, no, no, Leo’s not up there. He’s in the living room watching TV.
(Prue, Piper and Phoebe walk into the living room to see Leo laying on the couch watching TV.)
Piper: What are you doing?
Leo: Just kicking back.
Piper: Something is wrong with this picture. You need chips. I’ll go get some.
(Piper heads for the kitchen.)
Phoebe: Oh, turn on MTV, I wanna see Carson Daily, he is so hot.
(Phoebe sits on the couch beside Leo.)
Prue: Okay, uh, excuse me, sins in a box. Demon hunt, real life. Can we please focus here? Now, what did ‘they’ say about Lucas’ sneak attack?
Leo: I don’t know. I didn’t make it up there. I orbed half way up and I got tired.
Leo: Hey, after sixty years of constant vigilance, I think I deserve a little down time.
(Piper walks in carrying a bowl of chips.)
Piper: Here you go, honey.
Leo: Oh, thanks, honey. I’m gonna probably be thirsty soon.
Prue: Oh, I’m gonna be ill soon.
(The doorbell rings.)
Piper: I’ll get it. (Piper opens the door and a flower delivery guy brings in bunches of flowers.) Oh, how gorgeous.
Delivery Guy: Hi. Boy, these are a lot of flowers.
(Phoebe walks in the foyer.)
Phoebe: I’ll say. I love a man in a uniform.
Prue: Hey, who sent the flowers?
Piper: I did, for myself.
Prue: Oh, this is just too much.
Phoebe: (to the delivery guy) I bet you’re too much.
(She places her hands on his chest.)
Prue: Alright, that’s it. That’s enough. (She pushes the delivery guy outside.) Nothing to see here, nothing to respond to, get out. You! What are you smiling at, buddy?
Phoebe: Why did you do that?
Prue: Because unless you guys want those flowers at your funeral, you had better get a grip, okay? You’ve been infected. Gluttony, lust, and that in there… (They walks back in the living room. Leo burps.) Is sloth.
Piper: How did I get gluttony? I don’t over eat.
Prue: No, but you over do. The sins are drawn to our predispositions and lately yours has been excess.
Phoebe: What sin did you get hit with?
Prue: Well, I didn’t get hit.
Phoebe: Oh, I saw you get hit.
Prue: Well, I must be strong enough to fight it off, I’m not showing any symptoms, am I? And thank goodness, alright, one of us has to keep our wits about us. (She sees the news on the TV.) Hey, turn that up, lazy.
(Leo turns up the TV.)
Reporter: The SWAT team just arrived at Bay City Motor Cars. A further signal that police are taking seriously. Pastor Roger Tremble threatens to shoot and kill his hostage if his demands are not met.
Anchorwoman: Do you have any idea what exactly the Pastor’s demands are?
Reporter: Well, actually, yeah, they’re a little bazaar but he claims he wants a Jag. Specifically a XK convertible in British racing green.
Piper: That’s a new one.
Phoebe: That news caster’s kinda cute.
Prue: Alright, what do you wanna bet that the demon infected the Pastor with envy.
Piper: Prue, out of all the people in San Francisco…
Leo: Still, he does fit the profile. Paragon of good, driven to an act of self destruction.
Prue: Yeah, especially with a SWAT team outside. Alright, we can not let this demon steal anymore of our innocent souls. (Prue drags Phoebe away from the TV.) Piper, are you coming?
Piper: Uh, I was gonna stay here with Leo and hold down the fort.
Phoebe: More like hold down the couch.
Piper: I’ll come if you want me to.
Prue: No, it’s fine, I’ll just do all of it myself if I have to. Come on, Phoebe.
(Prue and Phoebe leave.)
Piper: You think she’s mad?
(Leo moves over and Piper sits down beside him. An infomercial comes up on the TV. Leo changes channels.)
Piper: Wait, turn that back. (Leo groans and changes back to the infomercial.) Hand me the phone.
(He hands her the phone and she dials the number on the TV.)
[Scene: Bay City Motor Cars. The SWAT team have surrounded the building. Prue and Phoebe are there talking to Darryl.]
Prue: Look, Darryl, just let me handle this.
Darryl: Look, Prue, it’s a highly charged, highly public situation. I can’t just ask SWAT to let you handle it. I get enough flak from these guys as it is.
Prue: Alright, would you rather me astral project myself in there?
Darryl: Come on, Prue, you’re not being reasonable.
Phoebe: I have something to say. I see that cute officer from this morning.
(She gets all excited.)
Prue: Hey, stay on point, we still have an innocent to save.
Darryl: You’re right, we all do, cops included. Look, just let the hostage negotiators handle it, please?
Prue: Fine. What’s the plan?
Darryl: The plan is to talk the Pastor down, weigh him out.
Darryl: It works in most cases, trust me.
Prue: Okay, well, if he’s been infected it will not work in this case, trust me, alright. The Pastor’s only gonna get worse.
Darryl: What would you do to resolve it?
Prue: There’s only one thing to do.
(Prue walks towards the building.)
Darryl: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! (to SWAT) Hold your fire! Hold your fire! (He notices Phoebe is gone.) Phoebe?
[Cut inside the building. The Pastor has a gun up to the salesman’s throat. Prue walks in.]
Prue: Pastor Tremble?
(The Pastor turns around and points the gun at Prue.)
Pastor: Who are you?
Prue: Whoa, okay, hold on, I’m-I’m-I’m here to help, but I can not do that until you put the gun down.
Pastor: Get outta here.
Prue: I just wanna talk.
Pastor: I just want my Jag. Do you want me to shoot you too? I swear I will.
Prue: Okay, no, no, no, wait. I-I know what’s happened to you, okay? You’ve been infected with sin.
Pastor: I warned you.
Prue: No. (Prue uses her power but the gun doesn’t fly out of his hand. He shoots at Prue.)
[Cut to outside. Everyone crouches down when they hear the gunshot. Screams are heard. Darryl grabs a megaphone and talks into it.]
Darryl: Prue, you alright? Talk to me, Prue.
(Prue finally comes out with the salesman.)
Prue: Everything’s under control, don’t worry a thing. I’ve got it all under control. Hi, he needs medical attention. The Pastor’s inside, I kicked his ass. He needs attention too, he’s knocked out.
(Everyone applauds and news reporters rush up to Prue.)
Reporter: Hi, can I just ask a few questions?
Prue: The name’s Halliwell, Prue Halliwell.
Reporter #2: What made you run in there?
Prue: Well, my job is to protect the innocent.
Reporter: Do you work for the police?
Prue: No, actually, I don’t.
(Darryl pulls Prue away.)
Darryl: No, she’s a good Samaritan, very good Samaritan. No further questions.
Prue: Why did you do that? I was just getting started.
Darryl: ‘Cause you were about to hang yourself. You shouldn’t be talking to the press.
Prue: Why not?
Darryl: Because they’ll destroy you. What’s the matter with you?
Preu: Nothing can destroy me, Darryl.
Darryl: Prue, you’re bleeding.
(Prue looks at her arm.)
Prue: Whoa, I am, oh my. That bullet must have grazed me.
Darryl: And you didn’t even feel it?
Prue: No, no, you know, the adrenalin, it’s no big deal.
Darryl: No big deal? You almost got yourself killed. I’ve never seen you runaway from danger before, but I’ve never seen you run toward it either. What, have you got a death wish or something?
Prue: It does sound kind of self destructive, doesn’t it? Oh, oh, that means I’ve been infected. That must be why I can’t control my powers.
Darryl: Prue, what’s going on?
Prue: Darryl, I don’t have time to explain. Can you get Pastor Tremble to a safe place? Some place where he won’t hurt himself, like a psychiatric hospital.
Darryl: Yeah, sure, shouldn’t be a problem in his case.
Prue: Okay, good, but nobody can know that he’s there, okay? Because if so, the demon will find him and kill him.
Darryl: Okay, I don’t know how long I can keep it a secret though.
Prue: Well, I don’t really need that long. Just long enough for me to find the demon and vanquish him, okay? Okay. Now where is my sister? Phoebe!
[Cut inside a SWAT truck. Phoebe is there making out with the officer from before. She starts undressing him, then pulls out a strip of condoms from her bag.]
Phoebe: It’s a good thing I came prepared.
(She rips one off with her teeth. Darryl opens the door.)
Officer: Wait, I can explain.
Darryl: The hell you can. Get outta there!
(Darryl pulls him out of the truck. Prue pulls Phoebe out of the truck. She grabs her coat.)
Prue: Here, put it on. Are you out of your mind?
Phoebe: Um, yeah, I think so. But if you’re gonna go crazy…
Prue: Yeah, well, my sin’s not nearly as much fun as yours.
Phoebe: Wait, you’re sin? I thought you didn’t get hit.
Prue: Well, that was the pride talking and it almost got me killed already.
Phoebe: Pride? You don’t seem all that different.
Prue: Really? Well, back atcha. We need to get home and try and track down this demon, okay?
Phoebe: No, I don’t think so, I’m having too much fun, so I’ll just see you later.
Prue: If I don’t get you home, there won’t be a later.
[Cut to Darryl and the officer.]
Darryl: What the hell is the matter with you? Not only in the middle of the day, but in the middle of a crisis.
Officer: Look, she attacked me. I swear, I didn’t have a choice. Not much of one.
Darryl: That’s a pathetic excuse. You’re an officer for crying out loud.
Officer: What would you want me to do? Shoot her?
Darryl: You’re suspended.
Darryl: Go back to the station, turn in your hardware.
(Darryl walks away.)
Officer: You can’t suspend me. It was her fault. Damn it!
Lucas: You know that anger is one of the seven deadly sins? Your blood pressure’s rising, adrenalin’s pumping, you wanna hit somebody, don’tcha?
Officer: Who the hell are you?
(Lucas gets out the box and hits the officer with the anger sin ball.)
Lucas: I’m somebody who can help you channel that anger.
[Scene: Manor. Porch. Prue and Phoebe walk up to the door.]
Phoebe: You know, it would have not killed you to drive by the fire station for a little looksy.
Prue: You know what? (She opens the door.) If you and Piper do not get your sins under control…
(They walk inside and all of Piper’s purchases fill the foyer and living room. Piper walks in.)
Piper: Good, you’re here. The pashminas have arrived and they’re to die for. Come see. (A delivery man walks past carrying long metal strip things.) Whoa, hey, hi, almost decapitated.
Phoebe: Hello. (They walk into another room filled with stuff. Piper pulls a pashmina out of a box.) Wow, Piper, you really put the glutt in gluttony.
Prue: Okay, how did you get this stuff so fast?
Piper: Oh, I just let my fingers do the walking and the clicking and the… flipping.
Prue: Flipping as in the pages of the Book of Shadows? You used magic?
Piper: Well, yeah, I couldn’t wait six to eight weeks for delivery.
Prue: That is so personal gain.
Piper: No, ’cause we need all of this stuff.
(Phoebe leaves the room.)
Prue: Okay, Piper, this isn’t you. You’re being consumed by your consumption and it will only lead to your total misuse of magic.
(Piper turns on a water fountain.)
Piper: Soothing, isn’t it?
[Cut to the living room. Leo is laying on the couch watching a big screen TV. Phoebe moves over to him.]
Phoebe: Hey, Leo.
Leo: Shh, watching TV.
(She sits down next to him.)
Phoebe: I know something more exciting that television. (She unties her top.) Me.
(She turns off the TV.)
Leo: What the hell are you doing? Come on, give it back.
(He reaches for the remote but falls on Phoebe. Piper walks in.)
Phoebe: What? Prue won’t let me leave the house, so I have to make do with what I have.
(She strokes his chest.)
Piper: Get your slutty hands off of my husband!
(Phoebe stands up.)
Phoebe: Make me.
(Piper picks up a statue of a head and gets ready to throw it.)
Leo: Watch the remote!
(Prue runs in.)
Prue: No, no, no. (She takes the statue off of Piper.) Alright, you guys, the last I checked we still had a demon to vanquish and an innocent to save.
Phoebe: I thought you said Morris hid the Pastor some place safe.
Prue: Yes, he did, but envy is only the sixth sin. Which means there’s still an innocent out there infected with anger.
(Prue puts the statue down.)
Piper: What would you like us to do about it?
Prue: Leo, I would like for you to orb up there and ask the Elders what they know, okay?
Leo: I’m too tired.
Prue: Leo, (she hits him on the arm) get up there right now! You’re a Whitelighter, that is your job.
Leo: Why? You never listen to me anyway. (He yawns.) I think I’m gonna orb upstairs and take a nap.
(He orbs out. Phoebe picks up a magazine and starts to read it.)
Prue: Fine! Fine, orb, who needs you anyway? (Piper puts on a pair of boxing gloves.) We still have the power of three.
(She looks at Piper and Phoebe.)
[Scene: Police station. The officer walks outside to his car. He puts his bag in the boot and shuts the door. Lucas appears.]
Lucas: Did you find out where they’re hiding the Pastor?
Officer: Where’d you come from?
Lucas: Answer my question.
Officer: No one’s talking. At least not to me.
Lucas: That’s not good enough.
Officer: Look, I don’t know who you think you are!
(The officer grabs his chest in pain.)
Lucas: Anger’s the worst, isn’t it? Especially when the burning rage zaps you of all your strength and reason and the relentless screams locks out all hope. Use it against the Halliwells. (He pulls the officer’s gun out of his belt.) Make them tell you where the Pastor is. Trust me, anger always feels better when it has a target.
[Scene: Manor. Attic. Prue, Piper and Phoebe are there. Prue’s looking through the Book of Shadows, Piper’s got her feet in a foot spa, and Phoebe is lying in a chair.]
Prue: There is nothing, there is nothing in the book. Why did only lame witches precede it?
Piper: Because nobody is as good as you, Prue.
Prue: You know, at least I’m trying, Piper. Instead of getting a foot massage, or sleeping.
Phoebe: I’m not sleeping. I’m just having the best premonitions of my life.
Prue: Of what?
Phoebe: It’s a button off Officer Cutie’s shirt. Let me tell you, if the movie’s anything like the previews… whoa.
Prue: Alright, is that all that you care about? (Phoebe nods.) Fine. I’ll save the innocents, I’ll vanquish the demon, and if I feel like it, maybe when I’m done, I’ll save you guys.
Phoebe: Oh, don’t do us any favours.
Piper: Yeah, Prue, worry about yourself.
(Piper knocks a lamp in the foot spa and gets electrocuted. She falls over the back of the chair.)
Prue: Piper! (She runs over to her.) You alright?
Piper: Oh, what happened?
Prue: Uh, you were shocked.
Piper: I feel strange.
Prue: Yes, well, if you had both feet in the water you wouldn’t feel anything. (Prue helps her up. The doorbell rings.) Who is that?
(Phoebe looks out the window and sees the officer standing on the porch.)
Phoebe: Oh! Oh! It’s Officer Cutie from this morning. (She opens the window.) Hey! Hey, up here! I’m gonna come down, okay?
(Phoebe leans out the window and nearly falls out.)
Prue: Phoebe, watch out! (Prue pulls her back in.) Do you see what’s happening?
Phoebe: That was close. (She runs out of the attic.)
Piper: Prue, we just have different priorities than you do. You need a little pick me up. How about I buy you some shoes?
(She heads for the door.)
[Cut to the foyer. Phoebe opens the door.]
Phoebe: I knew you’d come back for me.
(The officer walks in.)
Officer: This isn’t a social call.
(He grabs Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Whoa, are we roleplaying? Did you bring your handcuffs?
(He gets out his gun and points it at Phoebe.)
Officer: Where’s the Pastor?
Phoebe: I don’t know, I swear.
Officer: You’re lying! (He pushes her into a box full of stuff.) You’re something else, you know that? (He throws boxes around the room.) I got suspended because of you! You think you can ruin somebody’s life and not pay for it? (He points the gun at her.) You’re gonna pay.
Officer: You’re gonna pay right now.
Phoebe: Please, don’t shoot.
(Piper walks down the stairs and screams.)
Piper: My stuff! (He points at Piper and she freezes him. He unfreezes and shoots at her. She ducks.) Why are my powers not working?
Officer: Where’s the Pastor?
Piper: I don’t know.
(Phoebe knocks the officer down and he shoots up in the air. Piper falls down the stairs and knocks over all the stuff. A large wooden box falls on top of her. Piper tries to climb out from under the box. She looks over at Phoebe and sees her unconscious on the floor.) Phoebe?
(The officer stands up. Prue comes down the stairs. He yells and points the gun at himself. Prue uses her power and some of Piper’s stuff is thrown at him. He falls back onto some furniture. She looks at the unconscious Piper and Phoebe. Lucas appears behind Prue and grabs her.)
Lucas: You can’t save what’s already lost.
[Scene: Manor. Phoebe is still unconscious on the floor. Piper crawls over to her and feels her pulse. She crawls over to the stairs.]
Piper: Leo! (She starts to climb the steps.) Aah! (She pulls herself up to the top.) Leo!
[Cut to Pipe’s room. Leo is asleep on the bed. Piper limps into her room.]
Piper: Leo, please wake up. Leo. (She falls over and knocks some things off of her dresser.) Ow!
(Leo wakes up.)
Leo: Huh? What? Piper!
(He runs over to her. He is struck with a bright light.)
Piper: You glowed.
Leo: Doesn’t matter. Where are you hurt?
Piper: No, you’ve gotta go downstairs and heal Phoebe first and then go find Prue because the demon took her.
(Piper is struck with a bright light.)
Leo: You glowed too.
Piper: I did? Did you heal me?
Leo: No, not yet. (He heals her.) It’s the sins. We must have gotten rid of them.
Piper: Wait a minute, you said there’s no magical way to do that.
Leo: There isn’t. Maybe there’s a human way. Maybe by being selfless. By you caring more about your sisters and me caring more about you, we over came it.
Piper: Well, that means Phoebe must have gotten rid of her sin too because she risked her life to save me.
(They run downstairs to Phoebe.)
Leo: She’s still breathing.
(Leo heals her.)
Piper: Hi, honey.
Phoebe: Hi. Leo, what are you doing up?
Leo: Fixing you.
Phoebe: Where’s Prue?
Piper: Uh, we don’t know, but we need to find her. She won’t admit it but she’s in big trouble.
[Scene: Lucas’ place. Prue is tied up. She is struggling to get free.]
Lucas: You think you can break free, but you can’t. See, that’s what makes pride the deadliest of all the sins. It makes you think you’re invincible. Above it all…
Prue: My powers…
Lucas: Are useless now. Corrupted. You have only a small window of opportunity to save your life before it’s too late.
Prue: No demon has defeated me. And you won’t be the first.
Lucas: You see, but I don’t have to defeat you, you’re gonna defeat yourself. In mere minutes you’ll be so far gone you will self destruct just like all the rest. However, I am willing to make you a deal.
Prue: I don’t make deals with demons.
Lucas: Do you listen to them? Look, we both know that you safe guarded the Pastor, which means that I can’t deliver his soul. But this late in the game I am willing to pay for it. Tell me where the Pastor is and I’ll remove your sin.
Prue: Go to hell.
Lucas: This is my hell. Every rotten day of it. Listen, I am giving you a chance to save your life, Prue. To end your hell.
Prue: If you remove my sin, you’ll still be one more soul short.
Lucas: That’s true, but once it’s sponged, I can use the sin again. You see, it’ll just pop right back into my box.
Prue: And let you infect another innocent? I don’t think so. Screw you.
(Lucas picks up a stick and taps it on the floor. A large hole in the floor opens up.)
Lucas: Witness the bottomless pit of ever lasting torment. Pride goes with before the very long fall, Prue. So what’s your decision? Remember, if I lose you lose.
Prue: Alright, alright, untie me.
Lucas: Tell me where the Pastor is first.
Prue: Oh, untie me first. If I self destruct, you will never get a soul.
(Lucas unties her.)
Lucas: Alright, where is he?
Prue: Ha, you lose I win, ha!
(Phoebe, Piper and Leo walk in. Prue jumps in the pit.)
Piper: No! Leo, Leo, Leo!
(Leo orbs out into the hole.)
Lucas: Why did she have to have pride? Pride is the one sin you can’t beat.
Piper: Beat this.
(Piper freezes him.)
Phoebe: Oh, I see orbs.
(Leo orbs back in with Prue.)
Prue: Let go, I can handle this.
(Prue elbows him in the chest.)
Leo: Ow! I was saving you.
Prue: Saving me? I had it under control, I didn’t need your help.
Piper: Uh-oh, it looks like the only way to get the pride out of Prue is to vanquish him.
(Phoebe picks up the sin box.)
Phoebe: Oh, who ordered the sweet sin balls?
Piper: I think he did.
(Phoebe throws all the sin balls at Lucas. He unfreezes.)
Lucas: What did you…?
(He falls into the pit. The pride sin comes out of Prue and lands in the box.)
Prue: Okay, whoa, what just happened?
Phoebe: I think you just lost your pride. (Two more sin balls float into the box.) And these must be envy and anger. Which must mean the Pastor and cop are okay now.
(Phoebe throws the sin box in the pit. Prue taps the wand on the floor and the pit closes.)
(Piper picks up a crystal.)
Piper: Oh, wait a minute, is this another?
Leo: I don’t think so.
Phoebe: Maybe it’s the business man’s soul.
Piper: Oh, well, then you should release it some place nice.
(She hands it to Leo.)
Leo: I know the perfect place. He orbs out.)
Prue: Wow, we sure showed that demon. (Phoebe smirks.) Okay, you guys sure showed that demon.
Piper: Thank you.
Prue: So I guess I needed you guys a lot more than you needed me.
Phoebe: No, we all needed each other. You got me back at the house, you saved the innocents…
Prue: Yeah, but…
Piper: Uh, stop it, I don’t like this humble Prue, I want my real sister back.
Phoebe: Me too.
Prue: Well, I mean, I did save that cop from killing himself and I was strong enough to tell him…
(She continues to ramble. Piper and Phoebe walk away.)
[Scene: P3. Orgy is playing. Piper is at the bar. Prue comes up to her and offers her a glass of wine.]
Prue: Here you go.
Piper: Oh, no, no, no.
Prue: Piper, it’s okay to indulge, just don’t over indulge.
Piper: I guess we can thank Lucas for teaching us anything in moderation.
Prue: Hey, there was nothing that Lucas could teach me.
Piper: Oh, really?
Prue: I’m doing it again, aren’t I? That whole pride thing. I swear, I’m working on it.
Piper: It’s a constant struggle.
Prue: Here’s one thing that I’m willing to admit I don’t understand. You, Phoebe and Leo were able to get rid of your sins with a selfless act. I committed many selfless acts yet why did I have to wait for Lucas to be vanquished to get rid of my pride?
Piper: Well, Lucas said that pride was the one thing you can’t beat. I think what he meant was there’s no such thing as a selfless act to pride.
Prue: I threw myself into a pit for the Pastor.
Piper: Yeah, but you did that to win. So any good you did during your prideful state was for the greater glory of Prue.
Prue: Alright, fine, then here’s to Leo, for saving me from eternal torment.
(They clink their glasses.)
Piper: Mm-hmm, and to me for not trying to be the perfect couple. If it isn’t good enough for them, then screw ’em.
Prue: I’ll drink to that.
(Phoebe pushes past some people.)
Phoebe: Excuse me. (She goes over to Prue and Piper.) Hi, I am so excited, and not in any sexual kind of way. Uh, recent events inspired me to write a paper on sexual politics, claiming that my indiscretion with Professor Kass was an ethical experiment. So I handed the paper in yesterday and… pause for dramatic effect…
Prue: So, did he buy it?
Phoebe: I got a B.
Phoebe: Minus, but I got it fair and square which means I will be able to graduate. And no man, not even Cole, is going to stand in my way.
Prue: I am very proud of you.
Phoebe: Oh, and coming from you.
Prue: Hey, be nice, I don’t even wanna think about the sin tonight.
Phoebe: Me neither.
Prue: So this is a pretty interesting band. What’s their name?
(Prue gives Piper a funny look.)