Written by: Daniel Cerone
Transcribed by: Shay Fitzpatrick
Season 6, Episode 11
Episode Number: 122
[Scene: Warehouse. Piper and Chris are waiting there.]
Chris: She’s supposed to be here by now.
Piper: So, she’s a little late.
Chris: No, she’s a lot late. Paige used to be the first one to a vanquish. What’s wrong with her?
Piper: She’s in love, that’s hardly wrong.
Chris: It is when it interferes with her responsibilities as a Charmed One.
Piper: Why don’t you just let me handle this one alone.
Chris: Because you’ve handled the last four vanquishes alone. I swear, you should’ve never let them move out.
Piper: Hey, you don’t see me complaining, I’m happy for them. And you should be too. So where is this demon and what’s its name?
Chris: No one knows its name. And it’s too strong for one witch to handle alone.
(The warehouse door opens and Darryl pokes his head in.)
Darryl: How much longer is this gonna take?
Piper: (to Chris) Go see what Phoebe’s doing.
(Chris orbs out.)
Darryl: Where’d he go?
Piper: Hong Kong.
Darryl: Hong Kong? This is the last time I work ground control for you guys.
(Darryl closes the door. Chris orbs in with Phoebe. Phoebe is wearing a kimono.)
Piper: Hi! Wow.
Phoebe: Oh, how’s Wyatt? I miss him so much.
Piper: He misses you too. Is this a bad time?
Phoebe: No, this is a great time. Jason’s away at a conference, I was just practising my origami. This is a tiger, you can have that. (Phoebe hands Piper an origami tiger.) I’m sorry I didn’t visit.
Piper: No, no, don’t be silly. You’ve obviously been really busy folding. I’m sorry I have to ask for your help, but…
Phoebe: No, it’s okay. I mean, if you don’t enter the tiger’s cave, you may never get the cub, right?
Piper: Come again?
Phoebe: Ancient Chinese proverb. Means nothing ventured, nothing gained, you know?
Chris: Can we get the show on the road here?
Phoebe: Sure. (to Piper) Keep that.
[Cut to outside. Darryl is talking to impatient workmen.]
Darryl: Look, when the safety hazard’s clear you can go to work. Just be patient.
Work Man: Yeah, easy for you to say. I’ve got four mouths to feed.
[Cut to inside.]
Phoebe: Okay, what do you want me to do?
Chris: You’re the bait. All you’ve gotta do is levitate into the air and when this demon senses your magic, it’s gonna come fast and hard.
Phoebe: Okay. Be careful of my origami, that tiger took two frickin hours.
Chris: Okay, let’s do it.
(Phoebe levitates into the air and something charges for her underground. A large, green blob flies out from underground and tries to swallow Phoebe. Piper screams and blows the blob up.)
[Cut to outside. The men hear the explosion. The door opens and Piper walks out covered in green goo.]
Piper: All clear!
[Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Piper and Phoebe are there cleaning to goo off of themselves. There’s pile of clothes near the sink.]
Phoebe: Maybe you should just take me out back and hose me down.
(Paige orbs in.)
Paige: Oh my god, I’m so sorry I’m late, did I miss the vanquish?
Piper: Ask her.
Phoebe: Hi! Hi! Hi!
Paige: Hey! (They hug.) Oh my god, Phoebe, how are you?
Paige: How’s Jason?
Phoebe: He’s great. How’s Richard.
Paige: Fabulous. He was taking his sweet time getting out of the house this morning, that’s why I couldn’t orb.
Phoebe: Wait, you don’t orb with him in the house?
Piper: She’s asked Richard to not to use his magic.
Paige: Yes, so I’m trying to be supportive and, you know, not use my magic in front of him.
Phoebe: Wow, a magic-free life. You’re the last witch in the world I’d expect that from.
Paige: It’s not magic-free, it’s just magic light.
Piper: Yeah, it’s still a lot to give up.
Paige: What I get from him is kind of more than makes up for it I think.
Paige: How’s Hong Kong?
Phoebe: Fascinating. I’m studying numerology and the Chinese zodiac. But you know, distant waters doesn’t quench the immediate thirst.
Piper: Ancient Chinese proverb.
Phoebe: Just means that I miss my family.
Piper: Well, that’s good because your family misses you too. I mean, I don’t have a lot of people to hang out with aside from my baby who doesn’t really say much and then one really neurotic Whitelighter.
Phoebe: Yeah, how is my little buddy, Chris. Last time I saw him he wasn’t in such good shape.
Piper: He’s trying his best to hide it, but he’s still really shaken up.
Phoebe: Well, he lost his fiancÃš, you know, I don’t blame him, it’s huge.
Paige: Yeah, and there’s something in the future that’s really freaking him out.
Piper: Yeah, he’s more determined than ever to protect Wyatt from evil which means there’s a new demon hunt everyday.
Phoebe: I feel like such a bad sister, leaving you guys alone to handle all this.
Piper: No, no, we’re fine. Wyatt and I actually enjoy having the manor to ourselves.
Piper: Yeah, I-I mean, we have room to spread out and life is very quiet and calm and best of all, everything stays clean.
(Little blobs of green goo crawls off the pile of clothes. Piper picks up the clothes and heads for the laundry.)
Phoebe: Well, if we’re gonna hang out, I better go change my clothes. I think I left some here.
Paige: I’ll go with you.
[Cut to the laundry. Piper puts the clothes in the washing machine. As she grabs the detergent, the green goo crawls out of the washing machine and into the vent.]
[Cut to the hallway. Phoebe and Paige are walking towards Phoebe’s bedroom.]
Phoebe: Well, being born under the year of the ox is a good thing, it means you’re a natural born leader. (The walk into Phoebe’s room and see all her furniture has been replaced with gym equipment.) What happened to my room?
Paige: Holy. I guess when Piper said she was gonna spread out, she wasn’t kidding.
Phoebe: But where’s all my stuff? I mean, I have stuff, you know, lots and lots of stuff.
Paige: Well, being an ox, I can take charge of this. You can borrow something from my room until we straighten this out.
[Cut to Paige’s room. Paige’s furniture has been replaced with Wyatt’s furniture. Leo, Chris and Wyatt are there. Phoebe and Paige walk in.]
Phoebe: Oh, hi, baby.
(Phoebe rushes over to Wyatt.)
Paige: This one too?
Phoebe: Yeah, you move, you lose it in this family.
Chris: You could lose a lot more than a bedroom when this is over.
Phoebe: Hi, Chris, I’m fine thank you, and you?
Leo: It’s his job to offer his opinion.
Chris: You know the only reason why she’s even here is Paige missed a vanquish.
Leo: Another one?
Chris: Yeah, that makes, what? Five in a row now?
Paige: You guys are such nags.
Phoebe: When did you two become so chummy?
(A piece of green goo crawls out of the vent in the floor and crawls onto Chris’s shoe.)
Leo: We’re not chummy, it’s just he’s gone through a lot protecting Wyatt and I figured instead of doubting him I should help him a little.
(Piper walks in.)
Piper: So what do you guys think? Do you like Wyatt’s new room?
Paige: I like it. I just like my room too.
Phoebe: And I like it, I just like my room too.
Piper: Well, you guys were the ones that moved out, not me.
Phoebe: So where are my clothes?
[Time lapse. Attic. Piper, Phoebe and Paige are there. Phoebe and Paige are pulling clothes out of boxes.]
Paige: God, it’s really kind of hitting home.
Piper: What’s that?
Paige: Well, that I don’t live here anymore.
Phoebe: I know what you mean.
Paige: Richard’s just doesn’t feel like home yet, you know? I don’t know, I guess I just had more fun here.
Piper: Yeah. ‘Cause this place is a riot.
Paige: No, I just, I don’t know, I guess I’m more free here. Free to be me.
(Piper looks in a box.)
Piper: Oh, wow, Phoebe. (Piper pulls out red knee-high boots.) These are some boots.
Phoebe: No, they’re not mine, but I wish they were ’cause they’re hot.
Paige: The box says ‘Penny’. Penny as in Grams Penny?
Phoebe: No way. I refuse to believe that Grams ever wore anything this hot.
Piper: Yeah, I figured her more for steel toed orthopaedics, you know, the better to kick your ass with.
Phoebe: They’re your size, Paige, try them on.
Paige: (groans) I don’t know.
Phoebe: Oh, come on, just do it.
(Paige takes off her shoes.)
Paige: They’re kind of sixties.
Phoebe: So what’s wrong with the sixties?
Paige: The sixties was like the worst fashion era. Hello! (Paige puts on the boots.) Bad clothing, bad hair, and extremely questionable personal hygiene. Hey, they fit!
(Paige suddenly disappears in a puff of smoke.)
Phoebe: Right. Where’d she go?
[Scene: Manor. Bedroom. A woman is there with bright coloured lights surrounding her. Paige appears.]
Paige: Um, pardon me.
Woman: Hold on, I’m adjusting my aura. You know how those blocked shockers can get. (The light disappears.) There. (She faces Paige and sees the red boots.) You brought my go-go boots. Right on.
Paige: Actually, they brought me.
Woman: That’s because I cast a return to owner spell on all my favourite stuff. I’m always taking my clothes off and forgetting them somewhere these days.
Paige: Excuse me, who are you?
Paige: Penny. As in Penny Halliwell, Penny?
Penny: Yeah, who are you?
Paige: I’m Paige, I’m your grea– I’m your grandest fan. I’ve heard so much about you.
Penny: Far out.
Paige: Far out. (Paige sees the date on a wall calendar – January 1967.) You have no idea how far out.
(A woman stands at the doorway.)
Woman: The Whitelighters are putting on a light show.
Penny: Come on, Paige. You don’t wanna miss this.
[Scene: Manor. Attic. Piper, Phoebe, Leo and Chris are there.]
Chris: What do you mean you lost Paige?
Phoebe: Well, it was really weird. I mean, one second she was here and the next second… poof.
Piper: It kind of happened after she put on a pair of Grams’ boots.
Leo: Grams used to cast a spell on her clothes when she was younger.
Phoebe: Wait, you knew Grams when she was young?
Leo: Yeah, we crossed paths once or twice when I was a young Whitelighter.
Leo: Well, I barely remember it.
Chris: Well, if the boots did belong to your grandmother, then we better summon her from the dead. Maybe she can tell us what happened to Paige.
Phoebe: Okay, let’s get the candles.
Piper: But you…
(Phoebe pulls Piper away.)
[Scene: 1967. Manor. Paige, Penny and the woman are standing on the stairs. In the living room, there are about a dozen people in sixties outfits sittng on the floor. Some Whitelighters are standing in the middle making shapes in the air with orbing lights.]
Penny: Outta sight.
Woman: I’m Robyn, by the way. So what do you think?
(Paige looks closer at one of the Whitelighters.)
Paige: Oh my god, is that Leo?
(Leo is wearing sixties clothes and has long hair.)
Penny: You know him?
Paige: I thought I did. (The light show ends and everyone claps.) What are all these people doing here?
Robyn: Oh, they’re not just people. They’re witches, with a few Whitelighters thrown in.
Paige: I don’t suppose any of them know how to open a time portal, do they?
Penny: Anything’s possible when you free your minds. That’s why we’re gathering here tonight for a magical bein’.
Paige: Oh, like a human bein’. When Timothy Leary said tune in, turn on, drop out.
Penny: No, there’s no asset allowed in the manor, Paige. We’re all on a contact time.
Paige: I’m not on drugs. Just having a bad trip.
Robyn: How do you know what’s gonna happen at the human bein’? It’s tomorrow at Golden Gate Park.
Paige: I just kind of know things. Like I know I wanna go home.
Robyn: Do you have an active power?
Paige: Yeah, I can orb.
Penny: Groovy. Hey, everyone, we have a witch here who can orb.
Leo: Right on. (Leo moves closer to Paige.) Lay some orbs on us, sister.
Paige: Fine. If it’ll help me get out of here. Uh, big fat tape thingy. (Nothing happens.) Oh, my powers must be down. Must be the past… past few minutes. This patchouli oil. It’s really making me light headed.
Leo: Performance anxiety. (Leo puts his arm around Paige.) Listen, if you want some private coaching, there’s an empty room upstairs if you dig.
Paige: Ahh, no, I don’t dig.
(Leo walks away.)
Penny: You okay, honey?
Paige: Yeah. I don’t know how I’m gonna get home without my magic. (They walk into another room where a man is playing the guitar and people are sitting around listening.) Wow, I’ve never seen so many witches just hanging out.
Penny: Wait till the magical being. This house was built on a spiritual nexus. We’re gonna tap into its power tonight and ride the magic wave.
Paige: Are you sure you’re Penny Halliwell?
(Suddenly the whole room freezes, except Robyn, and a warlock blinks in.)
Warlock: Everything on schedule for tonight?
Robyn: They’re lining up like lambs to the slaughter.
Warlock: It’s gonna be a massacre.
Robyn: I wish we could take them out now. I can’t stand these peace lovers.
Warlock: Just keep it together a little while longer, we want this place packed. And I see a few new arrivals since my last visit. (He looks at Paige.) This one’s dressed a little strange, don’t you think? Where’s she from?
Robyn: I don’t know. She just got here.
Warlock: Well, keep an eye on her. The attack takes place on schedule tonight. And if you need anything, I’ll be close by.
(He blinks out. The room unfreezes.)
Penny: So what do you say, Paige? Join us tonight?
Paige: You know, as much as I consider myself a free spirit, I really can’t, I need to go home. If there’s any way you can help me write a spell so I can find my way…
(A car horn beeps outside.)
Penny: Ooh! Allen’s back!
[Cut to outside. A brightly painted van is parked on the street. Allen gets out of the car and runs up the stairs. Paige, Penny and Robyn run outside.]
(Allen picks Penny up and spins her around. They kiss.)
Penny: Where’s Patty?
Allen: I dropped her off at my sister’s, she’s gonna crash there tonight.
Paige: Patty, like, mum Patty? I mean, your mum.
Paige: Excuse me?
Allen: I just came back from my sister’s pad, and for a second I thought I was looking at her again.
Penny: Paige, this is my old man, Allen. He’s not a witch, but he’s cool with it.
Paige: Allen, your first husband.
Penny: My first and only. I’m not that into free love.
Allen: Listen up, I passed this groovy drum circle on the way here. Who wants to check it out?
Penny: Count me in.
Paige: I think I’m gonna do some light reading. Is your Book of Shadows in the attic?
Allen: I swear, it’s like you could be my sister.
Paige: Or your granddaughter… if you had a granddaughter, that is. Which you won’t. (whispers) Unless I get home.
Robyn: You can’t leave now. We need as many witches as possible tonight.
Penny: She’s right, Paige. Come with us. Who wants a ride on the rainbow bus?
(Everyone gets in the van and drives away.)
[Scene: 2004. Manor. Attic. Piper, Phoebe, Leo and Chris are there. Phoebe lights some candles.]
Piper: You know, if I hadn’t taken over Paige’s room, this never would’ve happened. This is all my fault.
Leo, Chris: What’s done is done.
Phoebe: Okay, you two really need to get a room.
Phoebe: “Here these words, here my cry, spirit from the other side, come to me, I summon thee, cross now the great divide.”
(The green goo on Chris’s foot multiplies and covers his whole shoe. Grams appears in a swirl of lights.)
Grams: Well, it’s about time you called to say hello. (She hugs Piper and Phoebe.) Oh, my darlings.
Piper: Ah, we got a problem.
(Grams looks at Chris.)
Grams: Well, you’re not the only one.
(The green goo rises up both of Chris’s legs.)
Leo: Orb out.
Chris: No, magic makes it grow. Summoning her spirit already gave it power.
Grams: Oh, you must be Chris, the new Whitelighter. (The green goo covers his body.) You know, he doesn’t look very qualified for the job.
Piper: Chris, just let me blast it.
Phoebe: She’s right. Orb.
Grams: Oh, for heaven sakes, listen to them. We’ll find a way to vanquish the foul thing later.
(Chris orbs out.)
(Piper blows up the goo and it scatters into a million pieces. Chris orbs back in. The goo disappears into the floorboards.)
Phoebe: Ah, oh.
[Scene: Manor. Living room. Piper, Phoebe and Grams are there.]
Grams: And Paige moved out? When?
Phoebe: Uh, a few weeks ago. But we’re handling everything.
Grams: Dear, you have Paige stuck in the past and a demonic blob roaming the manor. Exactly how are you handling things?
Piper: We’re still in an adjustment period.
Grams: There would be no adjustment period if you were living under one roof. Why in heaven’s name did you move out?
Phoebe: To be with Jason. You said it yourself, never give up on love, remember?
Grams: I didn’t say give up on your sisters. (to Piper) And you! You’re the oldest, how can you let them move out?
Piper: You know, it really wasn’t that hard because they deserve a shot at a normal life.
Grams: They’re not normal, Piper, and neither are you. When are you going to learn that?
Piper: Well, I guess never.
Grams: All this over men. How many times have I told you? Men are utensils. You use them, wash them, and throw them in a drawer until you need them again.
(Leo and Chris walk in.)
Leo: Shh. Everyone quiet.
(They listen to the house making strange noises. Chris puts his ear up to the wall.)
Chris: I can hear it. I think it’s in the wall.
(The wall cracks.)
Leo: Yep, it’s in the wall.
Chris: Okay, we’re gonna need Paige. It took the power of three to vanquish this thing in the future.
Piper: What? If you knew that, why didn’t you tell me that in the first place?
Chris: Because I could barely get two of you together, let alone three. Besides, this thing’s not that big right now and I thought two could handle it.
Grams: Leo, you take point. Chris here is much too green to guide my girls.
Chris: What? You know what? You can just stop that right…
Grams: Ah-ah! Quiet. It’s time to give this floundering ship a rudder. Now, which boots did Paige put on?
Piper: Red go-go boots.
Grams: We’ve got a problem. Those boots took Paige back to the summer of love, which was one of the most crucial times of my life.
Phoebe: What do you mean crucial?
Grams: Your grandfather, Allen, rest his soul, was a sweet man, but he lead me straight down the hippy-dippy trail.
Phoebe: You were a flower child?
Grams: Yeah, well, don’t rub it in. What’s important is that Allen was killed by my best friend. I didn’t know it then, but she was evil. And I walked in right after it happened.
Piper: What’d you do?
Grams: Well, let’s just say that my peacenik days ended fast, along with that bitch Robyn. If she hadn’t killed Allen…
Leo: You’d still be a flower child.
Grams: And the Charmed Ones would be dead. I know I’m a ball buster. But it kept me alive to protect my girls from all the demons that came after them as kids. I cast my return to owner spell on a lot of clothes that summer, so…
Phoebe: So we get to go back there? We get to meet our grandfather?
Grams: Don’t make too much out of it because whatever you do, you can’t change the past or tell anyone you’re from the future.
Phoebe: Well, why does he get to?
Chris: Because I know what I’m doing.
Grams: Not from where I’m standing. I’ll stay here with Leo and the newbie to contain the slime, until you can bring Paige back to vanquish it, okay? Okay, go, get dressed. You are going to the summer of love.
[Scene: 1967. Park. All the witches are sitting around on the grass. Some a playing drums and Allen is standing in the middle reciting a poem.]
Allen: Hear the drums, liquid beats, crashing down upon parched shores, hounding like the feet of ten thousand soldiers, whispering whys. Why!
(Paige stands up.)
Paige: Right on! (Everyone claps.) Sorry, I just got a little carried away.
Allen: Don’t be sorry, that was gone.
Paige: Gone. That’s right, that’s exactly what I should be, gone. Because I’m actually starting to dig th… like this. It’s kind of cool, everybody being so free.
Voice: Robyn, come here!
(Robyn walks away.)
Penny: You are exactly what we’re all about, Paige. You wanna hear my dream? I dream of a crusade to rid the world of evil. Not through fighting or the inner anger that makes us want to fight, but through the magic power of love.
Paige: Are you sure you’re Penny Halliwell? How long have you felt this way?
Penny: Ever since I met Allen.
Paige: Must be so great to share this together.
Allen: Your old man’s not into magic?
Paige: He’s not so old but, uh, nah, not so into it either.
(Suddenly, Piper and Phoebe appear beside them, wearing sixties clothes.)
Piper: Hey, groovy girl. We’ve been looking for you.
Penny: Welcome. I’m Penny. Any friends of Paige’s are friends of ours. But you shouldn’t use magic so openly.
Phoebe: (whispers) That’s Grams.
Allen: I’m Allen. Peace and love.
Phoebe: Oh, yes, love. Lots and lots of love. I have so much love for you, man, you have no idea.
Penny: You here for the happening at the manor tonight?
Piper: No, we were just looking for our friend Paige, actually. Excuse us.
(They move away.)
Paige: I’m so glad you guys found me.
Piper: We need to get out of here.
(Police car sirens are heard and a couple pull up.)
Allen: It’s the pigs.
(The police get out of their cars.)
Officer: (through a megaphone) Okay, everybody, let’s break it up. Let’s go, everybody out. Move it!
Guy: This is a park, man. You can’t control god’s green earth.
Officer: It’s a tax payers green dollars that pay for this park, and you’re loitering. So move it.
Everybody: Hell no, we won’t go! Hell no, we won’t go! Hell no, we won’t go!
Penny: “They have no right, they have no power, turn their hate sticks into flowers.”
(The cops’ batons turn into a bunch of flowers.)
Robyn: Let’s jam. If the cops catch us we’ll miss tonight.
Phoebe: Piper, freeze them.
Piper: I can’t.
(The cops handcuff Piper and Phoebe.)
Penny: Paige, come on.
[Scene: Jail Cell. An officer locks Piper and Phoebe in it.]
Piper: If what’s happening tonight at the manor is what I think it is, this might be the night that grandpa dies.
Phoebe: Let’s just hope that Paige tries to get us out of here first because I don’t wanna be raised by that flower child loose on the park. We’d never make it to puberty.
(Darryl’s father, Luther is in the next cell. He looks exactly like Darryl but with an afro.)
Luther: You don’t own me! You think you own me! But the man will never own Luther Morris.
Guard: I said keep it down!
(Phoebe taps Piper.)
Luther: What are you two looking at?
[Scene: Manor. Paige, Allen and Robyn are there.]
Paige: Please, there’s gotta be a way to get my friends out of jail.
Allen: Stay cool, Paige. We’ve all been hassled by the pigs. It’s a right of passage. They’ll let your friends go… after a night in jail.
(Penny walks down the stairs holding a bag of crystals.)
Penny: Okay, everybody, time to prepare for the party. Take a crystal, bless it and hide it outside the manor. We wanna form a perimeter.
Robyn: What are those?
Paige: Uh, those are pyrite crystals. They resonate a harmonic tone when exposed to evil. Kind of like a demonic alarm system.
Penny: How did you know?
Paige: I was taught by the best.
Robyn: I thought our gathering tonight was a peaceful one.
Penny: I wanna give peace a chance as much as anyone, Robyn, but I’m not dumb. Do you know how many covens are coming tonight? We’ll be sitting ducks.
(Robyn walks away.)
Paige: I would really love it if my friends could come tonight. If there’s anything that we can do to help them.
Allen: I tell you what, I got a friend who’s an A.C.L.U lawyer. I’ll call them. Right after we set the crystals.
Paige: Thank you.
[Scene: 2004. Manor. Wyatt’s room. Leo, Wyatt, Chris and Grams are there.]
Grams: The way I see it, we’re all targets for the slime. We need a plan to control it until the girls get back.
Chris: In the future, everyone tried to control the demon with no name. But it can’t be done.
Grams: That’s hardly a winning attitude, young man. And why in heaven’s name couldn’t the people in the future find some name for that thing?
Leo: Speaking of the future, what’s so awful that happens to Wyatt?
Chris: You know I can’t tell you that.
Leo: Come on, I’m an Elder.
Grams: Excuse me, back on point. Uh, the slime? I’m taking suggestions.
(Wyatt, standing in his crib, reaches for his bottle sitting on a table next to him.)
Leo: We could orb it to an ice drift.
Leo: Nah, that’s bad.
Grams: It’s not bad, it’s awful. You can’t orb that thing, it feeds on magic.
Chris: So what’s your great idea?
Grams: Are you giving me lip?
Chris: No. (Wyatt orbs his bottle and the slime demon shoots out of the wall.) No!
(Leo grabs Wyatt and they all run downstairs. Pieces of the roof falls in.)
Leo: Hold on. I think it’s stopped.
Chris: Get Wyatt out of the house. If it tries to follow, I’ll fire off an orb or two to distract it. (to Grams) You okay with that?
Grams: Yeah, it’s just what I had in mind.
(Leo carries Wyatt towards the front door. Green slime oozes up into the windows, blocking off the doorway.)
[Scene: 1967. Jail Cell.]
Phoebe: Any sign of Paige?
Piper: Nope. We’re not gonna reach her before Grandpa’s attacked.
(Phoebe looks at the guard.)
Phoebe: Should we try a spell?
Piper: Why not? Let’s try a spell.
Luther: Leave it to the man to lock the brother up with the crazies.
Piper: Shush. (Piper looks at the guard.) “Come to me and be seduced, I have a girl to introduce, fall for her you can’t resist her, trust me mister, she’s my sister.”
Phoebe: Why me?
Piper: ‘Cause he’s not my type.
Phoebe: Oh. (to guard) Hi.
(The guard moves towards the cell.)
Phoebe: You know what I think is really hot? A guy in a cage. Yeah. Why don’t you come in here with me?
(He opens the cell and walks in.)
Phoebe: Take off your shirt.
(The guard takes off his shirt.)
Luther: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Luther don’t wanna see this.
(Phoebe throws him the guard’s shirt.)
Phoebe: Put this on. You’re gonna lead us to freedom, Luther.
Luther: Brother could get used to this.
Piper: Mm, so could a brother’s son.
[Scene: Manor. Leo walks up to Paige.]
Leo: There’s my little psychedelic sunshine. Are you ready for your private session?
Paige: Uh, yeah, real soon. Um, have you seen Allen? He was supposed to call his lawyer friends for me.
Leo: My name is Leo, like the zodiac sign. (He takes Paige’s hand.) Astrologically speaking, Leo represents the sun constantly burning and highly energetic.
Paige: Okay, starshine. Could you just please point me in the direction where I might find Allen. (He points to the stairs.) Thank you.
(Paige heads upstairs.)
[Cut to the attic. Robyn is there.]
Robyn: “And so I call upon the crone, let evil roam inside this home.”
(Allen walks in.)
Allen: I thought you were acting strange.
Robyn: Allen, are you spying on me?
Allen: How could you, Robyn? What about our dream?
Robyn: My only dream is helping my warlock friend put all of you weak creatures out of misery tonight.
(She creates a fireball. Paige walks in.)
(Robyn throws the fireball at Paige and Paige dives out of the way.)
Allen: Violence isn’t the answer, Robyn. Let love replace your fear. I know you felt our love.
Robyn: Yeah, and I still got the stink of it all over me.
Paige: Over here! (Paige knocks off a can of marbles and Robyn slips on them. The fireball is thrown up into the air and then lands on Robyn, vanquishing her. Allen is knocked back from the blast. Piper and Phoebe walk in.) Allen!
Allen: I’m alright.
Paige: Uh-oh. What’d I just do?
Piper: Oh, nothing much. Just changed our entire future.
Phoebe: Or erased it.
[Scene: 2004. Manor. Kitchen. Leo, holding Wyatt, and Chris walk in.]
Leo: What’d it do? Split in half?
Chris: How do we get out?
Leo: I don’t know. Orb?
Chris: The last time I orbed, that thing almost swallowed me whole.
Leo: What do you think, Penny?
(Grams stands in the doorway wearing tie-dyed sixties clothes.)
Grams: I think love conquers all. I think that we should take the demon into our arms and make it feel safe.
(Leo and Chris look at each other.)
[Scene: 2004. Manor. Kitchen. Continued from before.]
Chris: Leo, could I talk to you for a second, please?
Leo: (to Grams) Do you mind holding him for a second?
Grams: Of course. (Leo hands Wyatt to Grams.) Come here, moonbeam.
Leo: Wyatt. His name’s Wyatt.
(Leo and Chris move away.)
Chris: One of the sisters must have changed the past because Penny clearly never meant to change from flower child to demon hunter.
(Grams sings to Wyatt.)
Leo: Clearly. Think the girls can fix the timeline and get back here?
(The slime demon oozes up into the back door.)
Chris: I don’t know. But this thing is trying to back us into a corner. Take Wyatt and Joan Baez here into the conservatory. I’ll get what we need to fight it off.
(Leo, Grams and Wyatt leave the kitchen. Chris grabs a blender.)
[Scene: 1967. Manor. Attic. Piper, Phoebe, Paige and Allen are there. Penny walks in.]
Penny: Has anybody seen Robyn? We’ve got a lot… What happened?
Paige: Robyn. She attacked.
Penny: Are you hurt?
Allen: No, I’m alright, alright. She said something about a warlock attacking tonight.
Piper: So? That’s no problem, we have a house full of witches.
Phoebe: Piper’s right, you could all take on the warlocks, all you’ve gotta do is fight.
Penny: It’s not who we are. We don’t believe in murder.
Phoebe: No, neither do we, but we do believe in vanquishing evil.
Penny: I’m sorry, I don’t see violence as a solution to anything. I thought you understood that, Paige. I thought you were one of us.
Allen: Let’s go, Penny, let’s send everyone home. I don’t want anyone else getting hurt.
(Penny and Allen leave the room.)
Phoebe: Oh, she is driving me nuts. That is not the Grams we all know.
Piper: The Grams we know found her husband dead tonight.
Paige: I know we’re supposed to turn her into a bit of a killer or whatever, but what if this happens to be her new destiny, with Grandpa.
Phoebe: If Grandpa was supposed to die tonight, death will come after him again.
Piper: And the first thing we have to remember is we’re not here to change anything. We just need to keep Grams alive and unfortunately we don’t have our powers to do that.
(Phoebe opens the thin Book of Shadows.)
Phoebe: Well, it’s a lot thinner than we’re used to but I’m sure we can find something in here to help us make a potion. (to Paige) Will you help me?
Piper: I’ll be downstairs on the warlock watch.
[Scene: 2004. Manor. Dining room. Leo, Chris, Grams and Wyatt are there. There’s a pile of kitchen appliances sitting on the table.]
Leo: Why isn’t it attacking? It’s like it cornered us and now it’s just waiting.
Chris: I think we need the toaster oven.
(Leo grabs the toaster oven.)
Grams: You know, that’s a disaster waiting to happen.
Chris: That’s the idea. You saw how the slime reacted to electricity. (Leo adds the toaster oven to the pile.) Well, if we can get it to attack this pile, maybe we can get to zap it.
(Leo looks for room on the power board where all the appliances are plugged in.)
Leo: If I can find a place to plug it in.
Grams: No offence, you know, but my dear Allen would have taken the path of peaceful resistance. Have you tried talking to the slime?
Leo: No, I haven’t, and you shouldn’t either. (to Chris) But if you’re up to some light conversation, maybe you wanna tell me what happens to Wyatt in the future.
Chris: Uh, nice try.
Leo: Got it.
(Leo plugs in the toaster oven and the power goes out.)
Chris: Damn it!
Grams: I told you, boys, violence is not the answer to anything.
Chris: Where’s the fuse box?
Leo: It’s in the basement. Find a flashlight in the laundry room.
[Time lapse. Chris stands at the top of the stairs to the basement. He points the flashlight at the floor of the basement.]
(He runs out of the basement and shuts the door. Leo runs in.)
Leo: What is it? What is it?
Chris: The slime, in the basement feeding on the Nexus.
Leo: How big was it? (Leo opens the door and shines the flashlight on the floor. The slime is covering the entire floor. Leo quickly shuts the door.) Big.
Chris: Yeah. Big.
[Scene: 1967. Manor. Foyer. Penny and Allen are there. A woman gives Penny a hug.]
Woman: We are going to make history.
Penny: I know, honey.
(The woman leaves. Piper is in the living room.)
Piper: We need to talk.
(Penny and Allen walk into the living room.)
Allen: I agree. We need to talk with the warlock and find a path of peaceful resistance to resolve this situation.
Piper: The first thing my Grams taught me was not to reason with demons.
Penny: Your grandmother fought demons?
Piper: Yeah. She was a great woman. And she knew that you can’t reason or negotiate with demons. They kill, and they keep killing until a force of good stops them.
Penny: If your grandmother hurt other living creatures, she doesn’t sound to great to me. I’m sorry.
Allen: Penny’s right. You can’t be a saviour and a murderer at the same time.
Piper: Really? What if a demon attacked somebody you loved, like your daughter? Would you fight them?
(They suddenly freeze and the warlock blinks in.)
Warlock: Where are all the witches? Where in the hell are all the witches? (He waves his arm and they unfreeze.) Where are they?
Piper: Well, that depends on who you’re looking for.
Allen: We sent them home. The manor’s yours, we won’t fight you.
(The warlock hits Allen across the face and knocks him to the floor. Penny gasps.)
Piper: Do something.
Penny: “May peace and love, from the moon above, flow through your heart, on the wings of a dove.”
(The warlock freezes Piper and Penny.)
Warlock: Did you just try and cast a love spell on me? I’m a warlock. What is this world coming to?
(Allen gets up. The warlock creates a fireball and throws it towards Penny. Allen throws himself in front of Penny and the fireball hits him. He knocks Piper and Penny to the floor.)
Penny: No. Allen!
Warlock: Your turn to join him, sweetheart.
(Phoebe and Paige walk in.)
(Paige throws a potion at the warlock and it throws him across the room. Phoebe throws another but he blinks out before it can hit him.)
Phoebe: I think he’s gone.
Paige: For now.
(Piper gets up.)
Piper: This isn’t right.
Phoebe: What do you mean?
Piper: Well, Grams flew into a rage when she found Grandpa dead. It-it made her what she was. Does that look like a demon killer to you?
[Scene: 2004. Manor. Kitchen. Leo, Chris, Grams and Wyatt are there. Chris is holding two wires.]
Chris: If the demon comes at us, I’ll try and hold it off with this.
(Grams opens the basement door and walks in.)
Grams: Don’t be afraid of us. We won’t hurt you.
Leo: Penny, get back!
(The slime demon grabs Grams and sucks her in.)
[Scene: 1967. Manor. Conservatory. Piper, Phoebe, Paige and Penny are there. Penny is making a potion.]
Phoebe: How are you so calm right now? It’s okay for you to be angry, that warlock killed your husband.
Penny: I am angry, at myself. That’s why I’m mixing a binding potion.
Piper: Binding your magic is not the answer.
Penny: It is for me. I tried to save Allen and I failed. What good is my magic if it can’t save my family?
Paige: It’s a lot of good. Remember your dream? You can’t turn your back on it now. What would Allen think?
Penny: It doesn’t matter, he’s dead. No one will ever compare to him. I’ll probably end up hating men for the rest of my life.
Piper: Well, she’s got us there.
Phoebe: Magic can save your family. I mean, my sisters have saved…
Penny: You said these were your friends. What’s going on? Who are you?
Piper: Don’t. Can’t change history.
Paige: It’s a little late now, isn’t it? We’re your granddaughters.
Phoebe: Hi, Grams.
Penny: I’m your Grams. The demon hunter?
Paige: Yeah, and these fancy boots, brought me from the future.
Piper: And these earrings.
Phoebe: And this ring.
Penny: No, you’re trying to trick me.
Piper: No, afraid not, Grams. Look, it’s payback time. You need to get your act together. We love you but if you don’t start fighting now, all the people we’re meant to save…
(The warlock blinks in and throws a fireball at the potion.)
Warlock: You didn’t think I’d forgot about you?
Piper: Those were our potions.
(Phoebe runs up to him and he blinks out before she can kick him. He blinks back in.)
[Scene: 2004. Manor. Kitchen. Chris is holding the basement door closed. Leo helps him.]
Leo: Wyatt’s secured in the living room. There’s no sign of the demon in the rest of the house.
Chris: I figured it was distracting us before so he could feed on Nexus.
Leo: What about Penny? Is she…?
Chris: I don’t know. (The slime creeps under the door and Chris grabs two wires and zaps it. Another chunk of slime creeps under the door and he zaps it again.) I can’t keep up with it, we’ve gotta get out.
Leo: No, we have to keep fighting. It’s what Penny would want us to do.
[Scene: 1967. Manor. Living room. Piper and Paige is thrown onto a coffee table.]
Warlock: Not quite the slaughter I expected. (Piper and Paige stand up.) But it’ll have to do for a night’s work.
(He creates a fireball. Penny stands behind him.)
(He turns around.)
Warlock: What are you gonna do? Cast another love spell?
(Penny points at him and he flies across the room.)
Phoebe: Well, it’s about time.
Penny: Like you said, Piper, it’s okay to fight for someone you love, right?
(She waves her arm and the warlock flies across the room.)
Paige: Welcome back to your destiny, Grams.
(Penny sends a table sliding across the room and crashes into the warlock.)
Piper: Now she’s just showing off.
Phoebe: Okay, the grandfather clock.
(Penny sends the grandfather clock crashing down on top of the warlock.)
Penny: What do I usually do at this point?
Phoebe: You usually do something very final if you catch my drift.
Penny: “Snuff this warlock, his days are done, but make him good for the ecosystem.”
(The warlock explodes into a bunch of daisies.)
Piper: Now that’s what you call flower power.
Paige: Not exactly ruthless but a fine start.
Penny: That was for Allen. So, now what?
Piper: Now we gotta get home fast because we have a slimy demon of our own to deal with.
Paige: How are we gonna do that?
Phoebe: Grams just has to reverse the spell.
Penny: Glad to know I have groovy grandkids. Just the same, I think I’m gonna work on a forgetting spell for after you go. You know, keep the cosmic order.
Paige: Aww, I like this Grams, I don’t wanna forget you.
(Paige hugs Penny.)
[Scene: 2004. Manor. Kitchen. Leo and Chris are holding the basement door closed.]
Leo: Get out of here, go.
Chris: Not without you.
Leo: This thing’s gonna swallow you whole.
Chris: Most likely.
(Piper, Phoebe and Paige appear.)
Piper: Stand back, fellas.
Paige: “Drawing on the power of three, destroy this evil entity.”
(The slime demon is vanquished.)
Piper: Where’s Wyatt?
Chris: He’s in the living room.
Phoebe: What about Grams?
Leo: She didn’t make it.
(The basement door opens and smoke pours out. Grams walks out, coughing.)
Grams: Nonsense. You can’t damage an old war horse like me. I’m already dead.
Phoebe: Yay, Grams, I’m so glad you’re back.
(Phoebe hugs Grams. Wyatt cries in the other room. Piper leaves the kitchen.)
Paige: Hey there, sun god.
Leo: Hey, that was a long time ago. Let’s just keep that between us, okay?
Grams: Hey, I wanna thank you two for not giving up the fight. I’m really proud of you boys. You did good.
[Cut to Wyatt’s room. Piper, Phoebe, Paige and Wyatt are there.]
Piper: Grams gone?
Paige: Yes, but not before yelling at us for moving out.
Phoebe: It was good to hear her yell at us for a change.
Piper: So did she convince you to move back in?
Paige: No, but she did give us her blessing after she was done yelling.
Phoebe: Well, she gave up a lot to be a witch. You know, she lost Grandpa.
Paige: And her dreams.
Phoebe: I don’t think she wants that to happen to us. But she did make me promise that I would keep in touch more.
Paige: And that I have to promise to keep using my magic.
Piper: Well, I guess Grams really is a softy underneath it all. So, you guys going home?
Paige: Home is a relative term, but yeah, we’re heading home.
Phoebe: I should get back and finish my origami dragon.
Piper: Yeah, I understand. Well, you guys know you always have a home here and a room when you want it back. I mean, if you want it back.
(They all hug. Phoebe and Paige orb out. Leo walks in.)
Leo: Everything alright?
Piper: No, it’s not. I mean, I know it seems to them that I’m moving on with my life and everything’s fine but it’s not true. I wish they were still here.
Leo: You should tell them that.
Piper: No, I shouldn’t. I should just go to bed. Good night.
Leo: Good night. (Piper leaves the room. Leo walks over to Wyatt in his crib.) Good night, moonbeam.