Written by: Cameron Litvack
Transcribed by: Shay Fitzpatrick
Season 6, Episode 20
Episode Number: 131
[Scene: Manor. Attic. Phoebe and Paige are there. Phoebe is laying on a couch and Paige is standing in front of a pin board with all bits and pieces pinned to it.]
Paige: Come on, I know we can figure this out.
Phoebe: You’ve been saying that for three weeks now.
Paige: Lady, can I get a little help over here, please?
Phoebe: Okay, but you don’t have to yell at me, I feel bad enough as it is.
Paige: Look, it’s not your fault that the demon is one step ahead of us.
Phoebe: Yeah, but if I hadn’t lost my powers, we would have found him by now.
Paige: Well, you did, so we just have to keep doing what we’re doing.
Phoebe: You mean what you’ve been doing, which is pretty much everything around here. You’re like the last sister standing. I don’t know how you’re doing it.
Paige: I’ve just been taking lots of naps.
Phoebe: Yeah, I’ve noticed. (Phoebe stands up.) You know, part of me just thinks we should let him do his thing, you know. I mean, a demon killing other demons. Is that so bad?
Paige: Well, it is when we don’t know who it is or why they’re doing it. You know, it could be some sort of power base coming along to take us on.
Phoebe: Yeah. Should we get Piper out of magic school?
Paige: No, she’s safe there, she stays.
Phoebe: There’s just no rhyme or reason to his attacks, you know. They’re just wacky.
Paige: My gut says he’s gonna go after the Smoker demons tonight.
Paige: Because Mercury is in retrograde and that is when they surface.
Phoebe: That’s an interesting theory.
Paige: Yeah, well, all I know is that the sooner we nail this guy, the sooner I get back to my naps.
[Scene: Church. A Father is there. Two Smoker demons appear in the room. Then two blonde women wearing skimpy leather outfits appear in front of them. They each throw a potion at the Smoker demons and vanquish them.]
Father: Dear god.
Woman: Not quite. Guess again. Run!
(The Father runs away.)
Woman #2: Potions worked pretty well. But I still don’t know why we didn’t use it on the old man instead.
Woman: Because we were told not to. Now let’s get out of here before… (Phoebe and Paige orb in.) They show up.
(The women pull out throwing star weapons.)
Phoebe: I don’t think so.
(One of the women throws the star at Paige and Paige orbs out. The other woman throws the star at Phoebe and she dives onto the floor. Paige orbs back in. They throw another weapon.)
Paige: Weapon thingy!
(The weapon orbs back to Woman #1 and vanquishes her. Woman #2 disappears. Paige helps Phoebe up.)
Phoebe: Thanks for saving my life again.
Paige: Yeah, no problem. Uh, well, at least we got a good look at who’s behind this. And better yet… (She picks up a star weapon.) A clue to find them.
Phoebe: Yeah, they’ve gotta be working for someone else. What powerful demons do you know that would dress that tacky?
Paige: Good point. Uh, I’ll go check the Book of Shadows.
Phoebe: No, you’ve done enough already. I wanna do it. You just go home and relax, take a load off.
Paige: Okay, if you insist. I think I will.
[Scene: Manor. Paige’s room. Paige walks in.]
Paige: Candles! (Three candles orb in on the floor. She lights them.) “A perfect man I summon now, another way I don’t know how, bring him now into the light, come back to me, Mr. Right.” (A good-looking guy appears in a swirl of bright lights.) Welcome back.
[Scene: Manor. Attic. Phoebe is there sitting at a table. She reads from a notepad.]
Phoebe: “Dear Sad in San Jose. Try viagra.”
(Phoebe scrunches up the piece of paper and throws it over her shoulder. She buries her head in her arms. Leo walks in.)
Leo: Long night?
Phoebe: Leo! Yeah, hey, I’m just working on trying to find that mystery demon, trying to come up with some summoning spells.
Leo: Any luck?
Phoebe: No, but I gave that thing that they threw at us to Chris, hoping he could get a lead with the underworld contacts, you know.
(Leo picks up the scrunched piece of paper and reads it.)
Leo: “Dear Sad in San Jose, if your husband is impotent, try a cold shower.” Nice spell.
Phoebe: Give me that. Don’t ask.
Leo: I’m asking. What’s the matter?
Phoebe: I don’t know, I just feel like I can’t do anything anymore. And I’m beginning to think that maybe I relied on my powers more than I realised.
Leo: Your advice comes from your heart, not from your powers. Besides, you were an advice columnist long before you were an empath.
Phoebe: Yeah, and before that I was a witch, and before that, I don’t remember what the hell I was. And I’m afraid I’m right back to where I started again.
Leo: Just because you don’t have your active power anymore, doesn’t mean you’re not a witch. You can still write spells, make potions, kick ass. You’ll find your way again, you just have to be patient.
Phoebe: You promise?
Leo: I promise. And it wouldn’t hurt to rely on Paige for a while. She relied on you for years. Where is she, by the way?
Phoebe: She’s sleeping, and don’t wake her, she’s exhausted. She was tossing and turning all night last night.
[Cut to Paige’s room. Paige and Mr. Right are laying in bed.]
Paige: Shh, shh, shh. Quiet. When my sisters find out they’ll…
Mr. Right: Kill you? I know, don’t worry.
[Scene: Manor. Attic. Phoebe and Leo are there.]
Leo: What did the throwing thing look like?
Phoebe: It’s not in the book, I checked. Besides, I really wanna do this without your help, okay?
Leo: Well, I came down here to help, remember? At least until the baby’s born.
Phoebe: Yeah, and what’s gonna happen after the baby’s born?
Leo: What do you mean?
Phoebe: Between you and Piper. Have you guys even discussed it?
Leo: Uh, not exactly. Okay, not at all. It’s just things keep getting in the way.
Phoebe: Well, Leo, you can’t just get the woman pregnant and then pretend like nothing happened.
Leo: I’m not, okay. It’s just, it’s complicated.
Phoebe: Yeah, but it’s not gonna get any less complicated after Chris is born.
(Chris orbs in.)
Chris: You talking about me?
Phoebe: No, your foetus. Did you find something?
Chris: Not something, someone. Demonatrix.
Phoebe: Chris, what you do in your spare time…
Chris: The weapon you found belongs to a group of deadly assassins known as demon… atrix.
Leo: Did you find out who they work for?
Chris: No, but, Leo, check this…
Phoebe: Dad. Would it kill you to call him dad?
Chris: Apparently, this demon gives his assassins vanquishing potions. Charmed Ones vanquishing potions.
Phoebe: What? How is that possible?
Chris: The book?
Leo: No, they wouldn’t be able to get near it.
Chris: Well, then how?
Leo: Well, one of them must be reading your minds, like the telepath did at magic school.
Phoebe: Magic school.
Chris: Mum. I’d better go check on her.
Leo: No, we’ll go. You get underground, see if you can follow the assassins to the demon.
Leo: No, we’ll take care of it. We’ll make sure nothing happens to her, Chris, I promise.
(Chris orbs out.)
Phoebe: I’ll go wake up Paige.
[Cut to Paige’s room. Paige and Mr. Right are sitting on the bed kissing. There’s a knock at the door.]
Paige: Uh, just a minute.
(Paige pushes Mr. Right off the bed. Phoebe opens the door.)
Phoebe: Sweetie, sorry to wake you up.
Paige: Oh, no, I’m fine. I’m fine, yeah, I’m up.
Phoebe: Leo and I are gonna go to magic school and check on Piper.
Paige: Is she okay?
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, she’s fine. She’s fine, don’t worry about her. We’ll let you know if we need you. We’ll call you, okay?
Phoebe: Okay, go back to bed.
(Phoebe closes the door. Mr. Right pops up from behind the bed.)
Mr. Right: My thoughts exactly.
(He jumps on the bed.)
Paige: Uh, I really, really do have to go.
Mr. Right: She said not to worry about it, so don’t.
Paige: I can’t help it.
Mr. Right: Yes, you can. That’s why you made me, to focus on yourself for once.
Paige: But I still have responsibilities.
Mr. Right: Yes, to yourself as well. To your raison d’etre. Which if you keep ignoring, you’re gonna be useless to your sisters.
(He gives her a kiss.)
Paige: I think I made you too many pheromones.
Mr. Right: No, you made me to understand you, to pamper you, to fill your every neglected need.
Paige: Yeah, but what I really need is…
Mr. Right: A vacation. Driving through Tuscany… topless.
Mr. Right: Not you, the Porsche. With the wind in your hair, the sun in your face, free, unburdened, loved.
Paige: Okay, keep going.
Mr. Right: Someday, I promise, I’ll take you away from all this. But right now, you need to eat.
(He waves his hand and a tray full of food and drink appears on the bed.)
Mr. Right: Voila! Just the way you like it.
Paige: Wait a second, you can do magic?
Mr. Right: I can do everything you made me do, remember?
Paige: Well, then, don’t mind if I do.
[Scene: Vincent’s Lair. A Mr. Right look-a-like, Vincent, is there along with a dozen Demonatrix.]
Vincent: Three weeks ago, I came to you, and what did I say? (He pulls on one of the girl’s hair.) What was the first thing I told you? Anyone? Let me remind you. Trust me, trust in me and my raison d’etre. But one of you did not. I specifically told you the Smoker demons would make their move when mercury was in retrograde. And I told you the sisters would figure that out!
Demonatrix #2: I’m sorry, Vincent, you know that I live only to please you.
Vincent: Shut up. “What once resided in this place, shall soon be gone with no haste, make this girl age in time, as punishment for her heinous crime.” (She ages and turns into a skeleton and then turns to dust.) Now, any questions? No? Good. Till we hit a right. I don’t want the sisters finding me, especially Paige. Not until I’m ready.
(Vincent walks into another room that looks the same as the Halliwell attic. One of the demonatrix follows him and strokes his body.)
Demonatrix #3: Which demon are we after next?
Vincent: Not a demon, a porsche.
[Scene: Magic School. Piper and Sigmund are there. Piper is looking through books and Sigmund is levitating in the air, getting books from the top shelf.]
Sigmund: Sorry, Piper, it must be checked out. Can I come down now?
Piper: Not yet. Check Lazardo’s Book of Prophecies, Volume 1.
Sigmund: Okay. (He levitates across the room.) Levitating, not my favourite, it’s very high.
(Leo orbs in with Phoebe.)
Piper: Hey, hi, I didn’t know you guys were coming. Is something wrong?
Phoebe: No, why would something be wrong? Does something have to be wrong for me to come visit my sister?
Sigmund: Sorry to interrupt.
Piper: Oh, good, you found it. Float on down.
(Sigmund levitates back down to the floor.)
Phoebe: (whispers to Leo) Oh, the good ol’ days.
Leo: We don’t want to worry her, remember?
Phoebe: Yes, I know. So, whatcha been doing?
Piper: Oh, you know, same old, same old. Trying to figure out who turns Wyatt evil. By the way, have you seen Chris?
Leo: Uh, yeah, actually, we have him working on something.
Phoebe: But nothing big, you know, nothing to worry about. Just your every day demon stuff.
Piper: Huh. Okay, well, if you see him, tell him I’d like to talk to him when he has a chance.
(Piper heads for the door.)
Phoebe: Where are you going?
Piper: To pee.
Phoebe: Where do we start?
Leo: Sigmund, is Gideon around?
Sigmund: No, he’s conferring with the other Elders, which if I may say so, is where you should be too. (Phoebe walks over to Sigmund and puts her hands on his shoulder.) Can I help you?
Phoebe: Just trying to get a premonition, see if you’re legit.
Leo: Phoebe, you don’t have premonitions anymore.
Phoebe: It doesn’t hurt to try.
Leo: Sigmund, have you noticed any breaches in security, students, teachers, anyone suspicious?
Sigmund: None that I know of. Why?
Leo: Never mind. Um, just keep any eye out, especially around Piper.
Sigmund: Of course.
(Sigmund leaves the room.)
Phoebe: Do you believe him?
Leo: No reason not to. Which means the demon could be tapping into your mind or Paige’s.
Phoebe: Alright. I’ll go back to the house and keep an eye on Paige. You stay here and maybe you and Piper can talk.
(Phoebe stands there and screws up her face. Leo laughs.)
Leo: What are you doing?
Phoebe: I’m trying to orb.
Leo: You don’t orb.
Phoebe: Now’s not the time to rub that in. A little help here, please.
(Leo waves his hand and Phoebe orbs out. Piper walks in.)
Piper: Hey, where’d she go?
Leo: Back to work. Deadlines. Um, can I help?
[Scene: Spellman Automotive. Vincent, Demonatrix #3, and a salesman is standing in front of a porsche.]
Salesman: Ahh, the Carrera S-4. Excellent choice. Turbo styling, all-wheel drive, zero to sixty in under five seconds. You wanna feel the wind in your face, this is definitely the car for you.
Vincent: May I?
Salesman: Oh, absolutely. (He points to the lit cigar in Vincent’s hand.) Although, I’m afraid I’m gonna have to ask you to put that out first.
Vincent: Of course.
(He hands the cigar to Demonatrix #3.)
Salesman: Thank you. (Vincent gets in the car and starts the engine.) Beautiful, isn’t it? No other car sounds like it.
Vincent: She’ll love it. We’ll take it.
Salesman: Excellent. Cash or lease?
(Demonatrix #3 chuckles.)
Demonatrix #3: No, we’ll just take it.
(She picks him up and throws him across the car yard.)
Vincent: No! Rolls! (A Rolls orbs under the salesman and he falls onto the backseat.) I told you, we don’t hurt innocents.
(Chris orbs in, in front of the car.)
Chris: That’s a new one.
(Vincent slams his foot on the accelerator and Chris orbs out. Vincent speeds out of the car yard. Chris orbs back in and the Demonatrix disappears. Chris grabs the cigar off the ground and jumps in a car. He speeds off out of the car yard and follows Vincent down the street. Vincent and the car orb out. Chris stops right in front of a cop car. The salesman runs down the street.)
Salesman: Stop him! He’s trying to steal it!
Cop: Don’t move.
[Scene: Manor. Attic. Phoebe is there talking on the phone.]
Phoebe: I promise I will have the column in by the deadline. Uh-huh, yeah, I’m just finishing up. (Chris orbs in.) Uh, I gotta go. Tic toc, tic toc. (Phoebe hangs up.) Finally, where have you been?
Chris: Don’t worry, it’s fine, nobody saw me orb out, and I talked to Darryl, he’s gonna cover for me.
Phoebe: How did you end up in jail?
Chris: Let’s just say I had a little run in with our mystery demon. And when I say run in, I mean literally. The guy, he tried to run me over with his porsche. Not cool.
Phoebe: A demon that drives a porsche? That’s different.
Chris: So is one who can orb and wants to save innocents.
(Chris starts scrying.)
Phoebe: Forget tapping into us. It sounds like he wants to be us.
Phoebe: Why else? To kill us. (The crystal points to a spot on the map.) Did you find him? Where is he?
Chris: Yeah. He’s here.
Phoebe: Here? Where here?
[Cut to Paige’s room. Mr. Right is massaging Paige’s shoulders. Phoebe and Chris barge in.]
Phoebe: Paige, are you… What are you doing?
Paige: Uh, just, uh, napping.
[Scene: Manor. Stairs. Phoebe, Paige, Chris and Mr. Right walk down the stairs.]
Phoebe: Paige, I don’t even want to talk about this. I mean, how could you do such a thing?
Paige: Oh, what, like you’ve never conjured stuff before.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, never for myself and never a sex toy.
Mr. Right: I am not a sex toy.
Phoebe: Quiet, you.
Paige: Well, we did it for Piper before.
Phoebe: Yes, but that was different. We were trying to convince her to not give up on love. We were desperate.
Paige: Well, maybe I am too.
Chris: Excuse me, shouldn’t we be focusing on the bigger issue here?
(Chris points to Mr. Right.)
Phoebe: How long has this been going on?
Paige: About three weeks.
Phoebe: Three weeks!
Paige: Give or take. You’re the one who kept telling me I needed a break.
Phoebe: Yes, but I meant take a day off, you know. Go to the spa, have a pedicure, get a massage.
Mr. Right: I massage her.
Chris: Breathe. What I wanna know is, how come when we were scrying for the demon, we got him instead?
Paige: I don’t know.
Chris: You might wanna know because he looks a hell of a lot like the guy who just tried to kill me.
Paige: What? That is impossible.
Phoebe: Didn’t the demon start killing the other demons around the same time?
Paige: I’m telling you, there’s no way he’s a demon, I made him to be good.
Phoebe: Well, maybe you also made one to be bad. I don’t know.
Phoebe: How do you explain the scrying then?
Chris: And the fact that he makes potions, and has your powers. Talk about your personal gain consequences.
Paige: Personal gain. I’m so tired. If I hear those two words again, I tell you what.
Mr. Right: Nevertheless, it’s there for a reason. It’s why Phoebe lost her powers.
Paige: Whose side are you on?
Mr. Right: I know what you know, Paige, and we both know they’re right.
Paige: Wow. Did you conjure him or clone him?
Chris: Okay, this is so stupid. Why don’t we just un-conjure him so they’ll both go away.
Paige: I can’t. I make him to last 24 hours. The spell’s not done yet.
Chris: Great. So how long do we have to wait?
Paige: Till after midnight.
Phoebe: Well, let’s just hope we find him before he finds us. (The doorbell rings.) Maybe that’s another one of your suitors that you’ve conjured for your own personal gain and pleasure.
Paige: Oh, I hope so. (to Mr. Right) No offense.
(Phoebe opens the front door. Darryl’s there.)
Phoebe: Hey, Darryl. Uh, now’s not really a good time.
Darryl: I’m here about Chris.
Phoebe: Yeah, he told me you covered for him. That was great.
Darryl: I’m taking him back.
(Two cops walk in behind them.)
Phoebe: Wait, what’s going on?
(The cops handcuff him.)
Darryl: I’m taking him back to county.
Chris: Hey! A little help here, please?
Phoebe: What do you want me to do?
Cop: Let’s go.
(They lead Chris out the door.)
Paige: Uh, Chris, don’t worry, we’ll figure it out, I promise.
Darryl: Don’t even ask. This time it’s by the book. Do you understand?
Darryl: Why? Because I almost got killed covering for you last time, that’s why.
Paige: Okay, but we always almost get killed.
Darryl: But last time was different, way different. I’m not going through that again, I’m not putting my family through that again. You understand?
Phoebe: We’ll just have to get him out of there ourselves.
Darryl: And risk exposing magic? I don’t think so. Listen to me, Phoebe, I’m not covering for you anymore. I mean it.
Phoebe: Could this day get any worse?
[Scene: Vincent’s Lair. Vincent is there. Demonatrix #3 walks in.]
Demonatrix #3: The car’s waiting for you, as you wish.
Vincent: Mm, it’s beautiful this time of year, isn’t it? In Florence.
Demonatrix #3: As good a place as any to kill a Charmed One.
Vincent: It’s not for killing one. It’s for loving one. For loving Paige.
Demonatrix #3: But I thought you said that…
Vincent: That’s for after, when she’s by my side, when I can give her what she wants. More than anything. Freedom, independence, power.
Demonatrix #3: But doesn’t she already have power?
Vincent: Not the kind that gives her independence.
Demonatrix #3: Still, with all do respect, how do you know what she wants?
Vincent: Because it’s what I want. We are one in the same. I exist solely to please her. And I intend on doing exactly that.
Demonatrix #3: How will you get to her?
Vincent: I won’t have to. She’ll come to me. After all, she knows my every move.
[Scene: Magic School. Piper and Leo are there. Piper is writing on a notepad. Leo stares at her.]
Leo: Uh, nothing. (Silence. Piper stares at Leo.) What?
Piper: Nothing. I mean, thanks for helping with this.
Leo: Well, he’s my son too.
Piper: What about your other son? How are you and Chris getting along? Better?
Leo: I hope so. I don’t know, I mean, it is so hard for me to wrap my mind around the idea that he has issues with me. Because he hasn’t even technically been born yet.
Piper: Well, that’s our boy. And hopefully you’ll get a second chance with him.
Leo: Hopefully. What about with you? I mean, we haven’t even really talked about us since we… well, you know.
Piper: Yeah, I do know.
Leo: Have you thought about it?
Piper: Of course, I have, a lot. But honestly, I can’t even go there. I mean, it’s not an option, is it? You’re still an Elder.
(Paige orbs in.)
Paige: Hey. I’m not interrupting, am I?
Piper: Actually, kind of. As a matter of fact, you are. Could you…
Paige: Sorry. See, I have to talk to Leo about something real quick. Come with me.
Piper: Alright, that’s it. What is going on?
Piper: Come on, I’m pregnant, not stupid. What is it?
Leo: Uh, well, we didn’t want to alarm you. But there is a demon consolidating powers, using Charmed knowledge.
Paige: Yeah, and see, the problem is, I kind of conjured Mr. Right version of him.
Piper: Wait, wait, wait. Mr. Right, as in my Mr. Right?
Paige: No, that would be gross. My Mr. Right.
Leo: Paige, there are rules.
Paige: Oh, please. Listen, anyway, you guys are confusing me. That’s not why I’m here. I came to tell you that Chris has been arrested. It’s a long story.
Leo: Did you call Darryl?
Paige: Yes, that would be the other problem because Darryl arrested him. Longer story.
Piper: Okay, take me home.
Leo: No, no, no, it’s too dangerous, you stay here.
Piper: No, I can’t stay here when all hell is breaking loose there.
Piper: Stay here. You save one son and I’ll go save the other.
[Cut to the manor. Attic. Phoebe is there making a potion. Mr. Right walks in.]
Mr. Right: Can I come in?
Phoebe: Shouldn’t you be off peeling Paige a grape or something?
Mr. Right: She doesn’t like grapes. Uh, actually, she’s not back yet. What are you doing?
Phoebe: I’m making a vanquishing potion for your evil twin. Or at least I’m trying to.
Mr. Right: Maybe I can help?
Phoebe: No, I think you’ve done enough already, thank you.
Mr. Right: Okay. Look, I know you’re mad at her and me, and you have every right to be.
Phoebe: I know.
Mr. Right: But you know Paige. She doesn’t think it’s fair for magic to take away so much away from you guys, without ever giving anything back.
Phoebe: Yeah, but that still doesn’t justify…
Mr. Right: I know, it doesn’t. But she was going crazy. She was overloaded. She didn’t want to complain, she didn’t want you to have to feel guilty for having lost your powers. Just don’t stay mad at her too long, okay? It hurts her, Phoebe. She looks up to you, a lot more than you know.
Mr. Right: Yeah. I think you’re missing one key ingredient for this potion to work. (He picks up a pin.) My blood. After all, it’s his too.
(He pricks his finger.)
Phoebe: Ouch. Doesn’t that hurt?
Mr. Right: No. I only feel what Paige feels. After all, I’m not real. Although, the more I come back, the more I wish I was.
(Paige and Leo orb in.)
Paige: Phoebe, I thought about it and I just wanted to say that you’re right and…
Phoebe: Stop. You apologised already. It’s okay. Okay, so we have the potion, all we need is the demon.
Leo: Any idea who he’ll go after next?
Paige, Mr. Right: Komodo demon.
Paige: I like the way you think.
Mr. Right: Right back at you.
[Scene: Alley. A burning pile of ash is on the ground. Leo, Phoebe and Paige orb in.]
Leo: Looks like we’re too late.
(Vincent walks around the corner.)
Vincent: Actually, you’re right on time. So glad you could make it.
Leo: Paige, throw the potion.
Vincent: You wouldn’t hurt me, would you?
Phoebe: Give me that.
(Phoebe grabs the potion off of Paige and throws it at Vincent. Nothing happens.)
Vincent: Sorry. Paige didn’t conjure me to go away until it’s time. (Vincent orbs out and orbs back in behind Paige.) You can’t resist me, remember?
(He orbs out with Paige.)
[Cut to Vincent’s Lair. A room that looks very similar to Paige’s bedroom. Vincent orbs in with Paige.]
Paige: What’s going on? Where am I?
Vincent: You’re home, Paige.
[Scene: Manor. Hallway. Phoebe, Leo and Mr. Right are there.]
Phoebe: “Use my blood”, you said. “It’s his blood too”, you said.
Mr. Right: How was I supposed to know the potion wouldn’t work?
Phoebe: I thought you knew him.
Mr. Right: No, I said I knew Paige. There’s a difference.
Phoebe: What? Testicles? I thought you guys were like three peas in a pod.
Mr. Right: No, Paige is real. We’re not, remember?
Leo: He’s right. She didn’t make them vulnerable because she didn’t want them to go away.
Mr. Right: Until it’s time.
Phoebe: Well, we have to find her before midnight. God knows what he’ll do to her by then.
Mr. Right: He won’t hurt her. He loves her. That much I know. That’s why she went with him.
Phoebe: Yeah, but why is she staying? Why hasn’t she orbed out of there? I mean, she may want a lot of crazy things, but she’d never want to be with a demon.
Mr. Right: Don’t count on it. Paige has a dark side like everybody else. He’s appealing to that, to what she secretly wants.
Leo: And what is that?
Mr. Right: To be free, independent, to be able to use her magic without fear of consequence. That’s extremely seductive to her.
Phoebe: And so are those pheromones I bet.
Mr. Right: Especially when used by evil.
Phoebe: We’ve gotta figure out a way to vanquish this guy.
Leo: Yeah, but how? She made him invincible.
Mr. Right: Then why not make him real? Break our magical bond.
Phoebe: I’m sorry?
Mr. Right: It’s what Paige would do if she was here. I mean, I know it’s whacky but it might work.
Leo: It’d certainly make him vulnerable to a potion.
Phoebe: Guys, this is not Pinocchio, we can’t just make things real.
Mr. Right: We’re not making things real. Just him. And he’s already half way there just by being conjured. I know you can do it, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Thanks… Paige. Still, it doesn’t help us find her.
Leo: Maybe we can. Or at least maybe Chris can, like he did before.
Phoebe: Have you forgotten he’s in jail?
Leo: Not for long he’s not.
(Leo orbs out.)
Phoebe: Well, it looks like I’m the last sister standing now. You, come on.
[Scene: Vincent’s Lair. Paige and Vincent are there.]
Vincent: It’s an exact duplicate. Exactly as you know it. Of course, given time, I can recreate the entire house for you. Well, what do you think?
Paige: My head’s still spinning.
Vincent: It’s hard for you to accept when good things happen to you, I know. But this is everything you’ve ever dreamed about, wanted. Instead of fighting you, the demons will bow down to your feet. Instead of reigning in your powers, you can use them at will. You’re free, unchallenged, loved.
Paige: Why Vincent?
Vincent: You don’t remember? The name of your first love. A boy who promised you the world. Now you’ve got it.
Paige: What about my…
Vincent: Your sisters. They’re a burden, aren’t they? Forever forcing you to sacrifice yourself, your needs for them.
Paige: You’re right. It’s not fair.
Vincent: No, it’s not. And unfortunately, unless we do something, they’ll try to stop us, won’t they?
[Scene: Police Station. Darryl is there. Leo walks in and goes over to him.]
Leo: We need to talk.
Darryl: Hello, Leo. Knew you’d show up sooner or later.
(Darryl walks into his office. Leo follows.)
Leo: Darryl, Paige is in trouble. A demon took her and I need Chris to help find her.
Darryl: Sorry, I can’t help you.
Leo: What is that supposed to mean?
Darryl: Exactly what it sounds like. Look, I told the girls, and now I’m telling you. I’m not doing it anymore. Forget it.
Leo: Look, I understand…
Darryl: Hey. You don’t understand. It’s over, Leo. When those beings who erase memories allowed me to remember what happened after last time, I changed. I saw the light. This is your fight. It’s not mine.
Leo: Well, I am fighting to try and save my sons. Alright, they are in trouble. Wyatt might be in trouble too. You’re a father.
Darryl: I’m a cop. All I know… all I’m supposed to know is Chris got caught stealing a car. That’s it. Son or no son, he’s busted.
Leo: Yeah, well, sooner or later they’re gonna figure out who he is, and then what, huh?
Darryl: It’s not my problem. Excuse me.
[Cut to a jail cell. Chris is sitting on the bed. A guard walks past the cell. Leo orbs in.]
Chris: Took you long enough.
Leo: Shh. Not so loud. I’m getting you outta here.
Chris: Great. So Darryl’s gonna cover?
Leo: Forget about Darryl. Come on.
Chris: Whoa, whoa, whoa. We’re just gonna orb out of here? What about exposure?
Leo: Right now I’m a more worried about them exposing you.
Chris: Yeah, but…
Leo: Look, son. I’m not gonna let you hang here, okay. Now come on, you’ve got an Aunt to save.
(Chris stands up.)
Chris: Thanks, dad.
(They orb out.)
[Scene: Manor. Attic. Phoebe and Mr. Right are there making a potion. The potion explodes.]
Mr. Right: Does that mean it’s done?
Phoebe: Or over done. I’m not so sure about this.
(Phoebe puts the potion into a vile.)
Mr. Right: Well, why don’t we try it out. On me.
Phoebe: Are you kidding? It might kill you.
Mr. Right: Well, then at least you’d know I was real. Look, if it works on me, it’s gonna work on him, right?
Phoebe: Okay. (Phoebe throws the potion at his feet and a cloud of smoke covers him. He gasps.) How do you feel?
Mr. Right: Alive.
(He walks around a picks up a knife.)
Phoebe: What are you doing?
Mr. Right: Seeing how much I feel. (He cuts his hand with the knife.) Ow!
Phoebe: Ow is good though, right? Ow means you’re…
Mr. Right: I’m real. (He laughs.) I can’t believe it. This is amazing. You have no idea what you’ve done for me, Phoebe.
Phoebe: I hope you didn’t just trick me into doing that.
Mr. Right: No, but I did help you realise you’re not as powerless as you thought.
(Leo and Chris orb in.)
Phoebe: Chris, you’re out.
Chris: Yeah, thank god.
Leo: So how’s that potion coming? Did it work?
Mr. Right: Perfectly.
(He holds up his hand.)
Leo: Okay, great. Chris has an idea on how you can find Paige.
Chris: You’re gonna have to sneak in.
Leo: And then once you’re in, we’ll bring you the potion that makes the demon real.
Phoebe: And how exactly am I going to sneak in?
[Scene: Vincent’s Lair. A group of Demonatrix’s are there. Phoebe is amongst the Demonatrix’s wearing leather and a blonde wig. Vincent walks in.]
Vincent: You’re right on time.
Demonatrix #3: My aim is to please. Where’s Paige?
Vincent: Coming. You know of course that she can’t be a part of this. At least, not directly. They are after all, still her sisters.
Demonatrix #3: I understand.
(Paige orbs in with Piper.)
Piper: Paige, what are we doing here?
(Paige stands next to Vincent.)
Paige: You know how I’ve always felt tied down? Well, I thought you’d like to know how that feels. Rope!
(A rope orbs around Piper’s hands.)
Piper: What the hell are you doing? Paige? (Paige and Vincent walk into another room.) Paige.
[Scene: Vincent’s Lair. Demonatrix #3 pulls out a throwing star.]
Piper: Leo? Chris?
(Suddenly, Demonatrix #3 bursts into flames and is vanquished.)
Phoebe: Oops. I missed. (Phoebe pulls out a throwing star and throws it at a Demonatrix. She kicks two and they fall to the ground. Phoebe runs over to Piper and Piper screams.) It’s just me, it’s Phoebe.
Piper: What? Phoebe. (She chuckles.) Are you here to save me or kill me?
Phoebe: I haven’t decided yet. Turn around. (She unties Piper.) Okay.
Piper: Is there a plan involved in any of this?
Phoebe: Well, there was until Chris and Leo didn’t respond to your call.
[Cut to the manor. Attic. Leo and Chris are waiting there.]
Leo: Something’s wrong, I can’t sense her.
Chris: I’m going back down there.
Leo: No, you can’t.
Chris: Leo, she needs the potion, alright?
Leo: It’s too dangerous. I’m not risking you too. Phoebe will figure it out, she always finds a way.
[Cut to Vincent’s Lair. Piper and Phoebe are looking around a wall at a bunch of Demonatrix’s in another room.]
Piper: Let me just see if I can get a clear shot.
Phoebe: And risk exposing the baby? Absolutely not. This is what we’re gonna do. I am going to go after the two on the right first.
Piper: Okay, then what?
Phoebe: Then go after the two on the left.
Piper: Oh, sure.
Phoebe: Okay, ready?
Piper: No! (Phoebe runs into the room and the two on the right throw throwing stars at her. Piper freezes them in mid-air. Piper blows up the two on the left. Phoebe plucks the throwing stars out of the air and throws them at the two on the right, vanquishing them.) Hey, not bad for a chick who can’t levitate.
Phoebe: We’re not done yet.
Piper: But you said you didn’t have the potion.
Phoebe: We don’t need it.
(Phoebe walks off.)
[Cut to Paige’s duplicate room. Paige and Vincent are standing there kissing. Piper and Phoebe barge in.]
Phoebe: Alright, break it up, you two!
Vincent: Phoebe, I’m impressed. I underestimated you.
Phoebe: Really? Well, that means she did too, and I’m not quite sure how I feel about that. (to Piper) Blow him up.
Vincent: You can’t. I’m not real, remember?
Phoebe: I’m betting on if Mr. Right is real, then so are you. (to Piper) Just do it.
(Piper blows him up and vanquishes him. Paige glows.)
Paige: What are you wearing?
[Scene: Magic School. Piper and Wyatt are there. Leo orbs in.]
Leo: Hey, slugger. How’s you mummy doing? Is she alright?
Piper: As long as one of her sisters doesn’t try to kill her again, she’ll be fine.
Leo: Well, now you know why we didn’t tell you about it.
Piper: I’m glad you did otherwise I would’ve been totally in the dark when Paige kidnapped me.
Leo: Have you forgiven her yet?
Piper: No. Not to her face, anyway. But that’s okay, she can suffer a little bit. So what’s going on with Chris?
Leo: The car salesman dropped the charges. He had a sudden loss of memory. Wouldn’t testify. Go figure.
Leo: Magic was already exposed, so I had to do something, right?
Piper: You know, you’re a good father.
Leo: Yeah? Thanks. I hope you say that again in twenty-three years. I wonder where we’ll be then.
Piper: Me too.
[Scene: Manor. Living room. Paige is there sitting on the couch. Phoebe walks in.]
Phoebe: Hey, sweetie.
Paige: Hey. How you doing? How’s the column? Did you finish?
Phoebe: I did. Just barely. But at least Sad in San Jose won’t be so sad anymore.
Paige: See, you didn’t need your powers to give good advice. Wait a second, you didn’t get your powers back, did you?
Phoebe: No, and I’m not in any hurry to, either. I think we’ve both been relying on our powers a bit too much, don’t you?
Paige: Oh, subtle. Very subtle. That’s what I like about you. All the same, I’m not entirely sure what I was thinking.
Phoebe: Well, you were thinking that you needed a break. And those needs came from a real place. You just have to figure out a way to honour them without using magic.
(Mr. Right walks in.)
Paige: Got any advice for him?
Phoebe: No. You’re on your own with that one. (to Mr. Right) Good luck.
Mr. Right: Thanks.
Mr. Right: Hey.
Paige: You all set?
Mr. Right: To tell you the truth, I’m not sure. I’m a little nervous.
Paige: Aww, well, don’t worry. Leo will take good care of you. He’s the best, and after all, he’s come and gone from this world several times.
Mr. Right: So have I. Thanks to you.
Paige: Well, don’t thank me just yet. If you’re anything like me, and I have a sneaking suspicion that you are, you might get into a little bit of trouble out there.
Mr. Right: Well, if I’m anything like you, I can handle it, right? Will I ever see you again?
Paige: Only if you get into too much trouble.
(She kisses him on the cheek.)
Mr. Right: Well…
Paige/Mr. Right: Take care.