Brain Drain

Written by: Curtis Kheel
Transcribed by: Shay Fitzpatrick

Season 4, Episode 08
Episode Number:

[Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Piper and Phoebe are looking in the oven.]

Piper: Damn it! These ones are burnt too. I’m losing my touch.

(She pulls a tray of cookies out.)

Phoebe: Oh, no, it’s okay, sweetie, they’re just a little crisp. (Piper puts the tray on the table.) You know, personally I am glad that you’re not a chef anymore. I’d probably be 300 pounds.

Piper: Maybe I should make another batch.

Phoebe: Um, Piper, remember when you told me to tell you when you’re obsessing?

Piper: I’m not obsessing. I just want everything to be perfect, that’s all.

Phoebe: Yeah, but Piper, it’s a baby shower, not a Royal wedding. Besides, don’t you think you’re doing enough already? (She gets a glass out of the cupboard.) For god sakes, you’re hosting the thing and you’re not even close to Wendy anymore.

Piper: That is precisely why I’m doing all of this. I swear to god, in the last couple of years we’ve vanquished more friendships than we have demons.

(Phoebe takes an empty milk carton out of the fridge.)

Phoebe: Got milk?

Piper: Somebody forgot to put it on the list again.

Phoebe: Okay, well, we have to be patient. You know, it’s gonna take Paige more than a week to adjust to living here.

Piper: Still, there are common courtesies, common sense, rules.

Phoebe: Yeah, but you have to admit, it’s nice to have the Power of Three under the same roof again.

Piper: Right. Grab those.

(Piper walks out of the kitchen. Phoebe picks up two baskets filled with baby stuff.)

Phoebe: So cute. (She follows Piper into the dining room.) Aunt Phoebe sure would like to throw one of these for you one day.

(Piper knocks over a chair.)

Piper: Damn it! Paige!

Phoebe: You’re changing the subject.

Piper: No, I’m ignoring you.

(They walk into the living room.)

Phoebe: Well, you can’t ignore that beautiful little girl of yours that we saw in the future, and if my math is right, you and Leo better start, you know, right about now.

Piper: Phoebe, we saw a lot of things in the future that won’t be happening now.

Phoebe: I know. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have kids. I mean, don’t you wanna little kid?

Piper: Not with demons dropping in all the time, (Cole shimmers in.) I don’t.

Cole: Phoebe?

Phoebe: Hold that thought. Generations of Halliwells fought demons and had kids. It didn’t stop them, why should it stop you?

Piper: Did it ever occur to you that maybe this is none of your business?

Phoebe: Oh, that’s besides the point.

Cole: Phoebe.

Phoebe: How does Leo feel about this?

Piper: I haven’t talked to Leo about this.

Phoebe: Well, don’t you think we should?

Piper: We?

(Cole puts his fingers in his mouth and whistles. The girls yelp.)

Phoebe: Yes, Cole, what is it?

Cole: Okay. Freeze the room fast, then unfreeze only me.

Piper: What? Why?

Cole: Just do what I say and I’ll explain after.

(Piper freezes Cole and the room.)

Phoebe: Please don’t blow him up.

Piper: I’ll try.

(Piper unfreezes Cole.)

Cole: The rest of the room still frozen?

Piper: Cole, we’re the only ones in the room.

Cole: You’re not actually. There’s a chameleon in the house.

Phoebe: A lizard? You’re worried about a lizard?

Cole: This chameleon is a demon. One who can transform into any object just to spy on you.

(He grabs a chair.)

Piper: Trying to tell me the manor is supernaturally bugged?

Cole: Uh-huh. Has been for some time, apparently. It explains why the Source hasn’t attacked you in a while. He’s had his chameleons watching your every move, gathering inside information. Look around. What’s not supposed to be here?

(The girls look around. Piper spots Paige’s ugly-looking cane chair with bright red cushions.)

Piper: Hmm.

(Piper blows up the chair. Cushion stuffing flies everywhere. Cole goes over to it.)

Phoebe: Piper, I think that was Paige’s chair.

Piper: Yeah, I know, exactly.

(Phoebe smiles. The grandfather clock chimes.)

Cole: Uh, the room just unfroze.

(Phoebe spots an odd-shaped lamp.)

Phoebe: Where’d that lamp come from?

(The lamp transforms into a demon. Piper and Phoebe scream. The demon uses his power and they fly over the couch. Cole throws an energy ball at him and wipes his arm off, sending green goo over Piper’s baby baskets. The demon’s arm grows back.)

Piper: Cole, get back! (Piper tries to blow up the demon, he ducks, and blows up the grandfather clock instead.) Damn it, we just got that thing fixed.

(Paige walks down the stairs holding a washing basket and wearing earphones. The demon runs in front of her and Cole throws another energy ball. The demon ducks and Paige orbs out before the energy ball hits her. The demon gets up and shimmers out. Paige stands there in shock.)

Paige: What the hell happened?

Piper: The freakin’ furniture just attacked!

Opening Credits

[Scene: Manor. Living room. Phoebe is lying on the couch. Leo goes over and heals a wound on her forehead.]

Leo: Do you know how long the chameleon demon was in the house?

Phoebe: I don’t know. The lamp has been here for at least three days. Maybe more.

Piper: what do you think he wants?

Cole: I told you. Gathering information.

Piper: But for what? For why?

Cole: For the Source’s next attack.

(Paige walks in with half her broken chair.)

Paige: Excuse me. Is there anyway to claim this kind of damage on our home owners insurance policy?

Piper: Usually not.

Paige: Usually? What do you mean? I can expect my furniture to be blown up again?

Phoebe: Get ready for the unexpected. That’s rule number one in the Halliwell manor.

Piper: Wanna learn the rest?

Phoebe: Um, maybe now’s not the time? Considering we have to figure out a way to find this demon.

Leo: Well, you could try scrying using his blood.

Piper: And we’ve got plenty of that. Although, I don’t know what good it would do to find him now. Whatever he’s learned he’s already told the Source.

Cole: Except that he might also know what the Source’s plan is. How he’s going to attack. Find him, we might be able to find that out.

Paige: I know. What about pooling our money into a fund to cover anybody’s damage no matter who’s it is.

Phoebe: Um…

(The doorbell rings. They all look at each other. Piper and Phoebe cautiously go to the door. Piper quickly opens it.)

Woman: Whoa! Scared me. Hey, Phoebe, it’s been a long time. (Phoebe waves.) Hey, sorry I’m late, we should go.

Piper: Go?

Woman: To the shower. Wasn’t I supposed to pick you up? Did I mess up? She looks in her day planner.

Piper: No, no, you didn’t, Becca. There’s just some stuff going on here.

Becca: So what else is new, huh? Do you want some help with the party baskets?

(She starts to walk in but Phoebe stops her.)

Phoebe: No! No, it’s just I’m afraid something came up and Piper can’t…

Becca: Oh, no, don’t tell me that you’re not gonna come. Everyone’s so looking forward to seeing you again.

Piper: Oh, really? Oh, they are? Well, th-then we can’t disappoint them. W-We’ll get some stuff at the market on the way there.

Phoebe: Will you excuse us for one minute? (She closes the door.) Wh-Are you outta your mind? You can’t still go. Piper, we have to scry for that demon.

Piper: Well, it doesn’t take three sisters to scry. You and Paige can do it and then call me when you find him.

Phoebe: Piper!

Piper: Phoebe. Look, okay, the bottom line is if I’m ever gonna have kids, then I need a life first, which means I need to be a human first and then a witch later. Okay, got it? Good. (Piper tries to open the door and Phoebe stands in the way.) Outta the way! (She gets the door open.) Hi! Bye Leo!

Leo: Bye! (She leaves with Becca.)

Commercial Break

[Scene: Underworld. A cave. The demon is there pacing back and forth the Source appears behind him. He spins around.]

Source: You have failed me.

Demon: I beg to differ. Aside from finding Belthazor, everything I’ve learned from the Charmed Ones…

Source: May all be for not now that they’ve exposed you, Alaster. The element of surprise was equivocal to my plans success.

Alaster: You can still use the information to capture one of the…

Source: That’s not what I needed the information for. Capture one is easier. Tricking one into giving up all their powers was the ultimate goal. That’s why I needed to learn everything about their hopes, fears, their dreams.

Alaster: Then accelerate your plans. Use me to capture the one you want. After all, they’ll be after me now.

Source: Yes, they will won’t they. (The Source changes to look exactly like Alaster.) But then why not cut out the middle man. (He vanquishes Alaster. He turns and makes the oracle appear on a rock.) It’s time, Oracle. I must know now which of the sisters do you see to be most vulnerable to my plan.

Oracle: Well, each is vulnerable in their own way. But the eldest seems to have the most resistance to the craft. Her yearnings appear to be her most weakness.

[Scene: P3. Piper’s friend’s baby shower. Piper is sitting next to a pregnant woman. They are laughing. She opens a gift and pulls out a cute baby jacket.]

Woman: Oh, how cute is this1 Oh, Piper, this is adorable. Where did you get this?

Piper: Uh, a little shop in the embarcadero. They have the cutest things.

Woman: Thank you so much. For everything.

Piper: You’re welcome. (They hug.)

Woman: We have so much to catch up on.

Piper: I know. We will. (She gets up and goes and sits down next to Becca. She sees her smiling.) What?

Becca: Nothing. It’s just good to see you out and about again, that’s all.

Piper: Yeah, after Prue died it took some time to…

Becca: Yeah, but even before that. It’s almost like the last three or four years you’ve just kinda disappeared.

Piper: Yeah.

(Piper’s phone rings. She hangs up.)

Becca: Oh, no, don’t tell me you have to go.

Piper: Uh, no, it can wait. (Leo orbs in near by. He motions for Piper to go over to him. She pulls a face.) I’ll be right back. (She gets up and goes over to him.) What are you doing here? No guys allowed.

Leo: I tried calling your cell phone but it went dead. Paige and Phoebe think they found the demon.

Piper: Already? They did? Are you sure?

Leo: Yeah. You have to go now.

Piper: How am I supposed to have kids when I can’t even be at someone else’s baby shower?

Leo: What?

Piper: Nothing, never mind. I’ll meet you outside. The least I can do is say goodbye. (She goes over to the pregnant woman.) Uh, Wendy, I’m sorry, I’ve gotta go, something’s come up.

Wendy: Ugh, now? But we haven’t even had the cake yet, you’re gonna miss the best part.

Piper: Ugh, I know. Story of my life. I’ll see you later.

(She walks away.)

[Cut to the manor. Everyone’s there.]

Paige: So we’ve got the spell to vanquish the chameleon but we’re not gonna use it. I don’t get it.

Leo: Well, you vanquish him only if you have to. The goal here is to try and interrogate, find out what the Source is planning.

Paige: Okay, but I’m thinking that this guy’s not gonna be so eager to spill his guts.

Cole: Oh, he’ll spill. I make sure to that.

Phoebe: No, you can’t come, he saw you with us. Probably means the Source has some bounty hunter ready to attack you, or capture you, or something.

Cole: So what else is new?

Phoebe: Well, it doesn’t make it any less dangerous.

Paige: So the question still stands. How do we get a demon to stop and chat with us.

Phoebe: Well, Piper can freeze him and unfreeze his head, she’s done that before. How do you feel about that?

Piper: I don’t know.

Cole: Why, you got a better idea?

(Piper sits on the couch.)

Piper: Maybe. We could tell him to offer the Source a deal instead.

Leo: Deal? What kind of a deal?

Piper: Well, something like, he stops coming after us and we stop going after him.

Phoebe: What?

(Phoebe sits down on the coffee table in front of her.)

Piper: Of course that would mean we’d have to stop going after all of his demons too, which would be fine by me. It would stop all of the constant attacks.

Paige: (to Cole) Am I the only one who thinks she’s bumped her head?

Phoebe: You can’t be serious, Piper.

Piper: Actually, I’ve never been more serious in my life. Think about it. This could be an opportunity for us to get out of the demon fighting business once and for all.

Leo: Wait, and what, just give up on your destiny?

Piper: How do you know we haven’t already fulfilled it? I mean, god knows, we’ve saved scores of innocents already. Maybe that’s enough. Maybe it’s time for some other witches to take over and let us get on with our lives. Isn’t it worth a try in exchange for what we might be getting? No more putting things on hold, vacations, friends, kids.

Phoebe: We can’t give up now. We are so close. We have to take out the Source if we can. And if not just for our sake, then for Prue’s.

Piper: Fine. I just hope we don’t end up where she did.

(She walks away.)

[Scene: Alley. Piper, Phoebe and Paige are there. They have the scrying map out.]

Piper: Something’s not right. We’ve checked both alleys twice.

Phoebe: Well, the chameleon’s gotta be here somewhere because the crystal never lies.

Paige: I don’t know about you guys but I’m getting a not so good feeling about this.

Piper: Alright, we’ll check one more time and then we’ll call it quits. Phoebe, you and Paige go check that alley, I’ll go check that alley.

Phoebe: Wait, split up? Are you sure that’s a good idea?

Piper: Maybe it’ll lure him out, who knows? If you get nervous say the vanquishing spell. Keep your eyes peeled, he could be anything.

(Paige and Phoebe disappear into an alley. Piper starts walking down another alley. A shadow follows Piper. Alaster/The Source appears behind her. She turns around and tries to freeze him. He just shakes it off.)

Alaster/The Source: Were you expecting me to freeze?

Piper: Phoebe! Paige!

(He throws an energy ball at her. Phoebe and Paige run into the alley. Alaster/The Source picks her up and flames out. Paige gasps.)

[Scene: Piper’s mind. She is unconscious on the floor of the manor, which is now a psychiatric hospital. Leo, dressed in a white doctors coat, leans over her.]

Leo: Piper. (Piper groans.) Piper. (She holds her head.) Are you okay?

Piper: Ow. My head hurts.

Leo: I bet it does, you hit it pretty hard. Are you alright?

Piper: I think so. What happened?

Leo: What always happens when you have one of your episodes. You threw yourself against a wall.

Piper: Episodes? I didn’t throw myself. What are you wearing?

(Other people in the manor get noisy. Piper looks around.)

Leo: It’s okay, those are just the other patients.

(She stands up.)

Piper: What the hell is going on?

Leo: It’s alright. You’re at the sanitarium. Your home.

(Piper looks at him, confused.)

Commercial Break

[Scene: Piper’s mind. Manor. Continued from before. Piper walks into another room. Leo follows.]

Piper: What happened to our furniture? Leo, what are all these people doing in our house?

Leo: Our house? Piper, Halliwell Hospital is hardly our house. All these other people live here too.

Piper: Halliwell Hospital? Is that some kind of a joke? What’s wrong with you?

Leo: Please, calm down.

Piper: No, Leo, I will not calm down. Something very strange is going on, something demonically strange. That demon must have cast a spell, and changed the house, and changed you. Phoebe. (She walks away.) Paige?

(A doctor grabs her.)

Doctor: Easy, lady, relax.

Piper: Let go of me. Leo, don’t just stand there. (Alaster walks in.) That’s him, that’s the demon.

Alaster: Demons again. Piper, we’ve been through this thousands of times before. There are no demons, they’re just figments of your imagination.

Piper: Wanna bet? “Evil hiding in plain sight, I use this spell with all my might, to stop you changing form and shape, this vanquish seals your fate.”

(Nothing happens.)

Doctor: Doesn’t really rhyme, does it? Sorry.

Piper: I don’t understand it. That spell should’ve worked.

Alaster: Piper, why do you insist on demonising me and every psychiatrist who’s ever tried to help you?

Piper: Let go of me. (She struggles to get free.) I gotta blow him up, I’m gonna blow you up!

Alaster: He violent impulses are returning. (to another doctor) Hey, straight jacket!

Doctor #2: Yes, doctor.

Leo: Piper, why won’t you let Dr. Alaster help you?

Piper: I don’t need his help, I need your help. Get this guy off of me so I can use my powers.

Leo: Piper, you don’t have powers, you’re not a witch, you don’t save innocents, you never did.

Piper: What?

(Paige drops something in the other room and two doctors grab her.)

Paige: This isn’t fair! This is my house too! (The doctor carries her past Piper.) I can do anything I want! You’re hurting me!

Piper: Paige, Paige. A demon took over the house. Orb the heck outta here!

Alaster: Take her to isolation so she doesn’t hurt herself.

(A doctor tries to put a straight jacket on Piper.)

Piper: Wait, wait a minute, you don’t understand. Wait. Leo!

Leo: It’s for your own good.

Piper: Wait a minute. Hey, hey, you’re making a big mistake. Please, listen to me for a second. He’s a demon.

Alaster: I’m not gonna give up on you, Piper. We’re gonna free you of these delusions, I promise you.

Piper: Shut up! Phoebe! Phoebe!

Alaster: I can give you everything you want if only you’ll let me help. (The doctors carry her away.) This illness has already consumed more than three years of your life.

[Cut to the underworld. A cave. Alaster/The Source, Oracle and Piper are there. Piper is floating lying down over a flat rock, and Alaster/The Source has his hands over Piper’s head.]

Alaster/The Source: Don’t let it rob you of anymore. You’re not a witch, you only think you are.

(He floats her down and breathes heavily.)

Oracle: What’s the matter? What happened?

Alaster/The Source: It’s just taking more magic than I realised to project into her mind.

Oracle: More than you have, perhaps? I only mean to caution you. This is weakening you, making you vulnerable.

Alaster/The Source: With the bounty I seek will make me more powerful than ever.

Oracle: If you can get it.

Alaster/The Source: Nobody knows more about the Charmed Ones than I do. I know how to break her spirit. I know her Achilles heal. In her deepest heart she never wanted to be a witch. And she feels an obligation to her powers.

Oracle: Yes, but you said her powers won’t work in her illusion.

Alaster/The Source: They won’t. Once she learns that painful lesson, she’ll willingly give hers up. And with them, her sisters too.

[Scene: Manor. Conservatory. Phoebe, Paige and Leo are there. Leo is trying to sense Piper.]

Paige: Anything?

Leo: I can’t sense Piper anywhere.

Paige: Does that mean that?

Phoebe: No. He wouldn’t have taken her if he wanted her dead. (Cole shimmers in, covered in slime.) Cole? Oh my god.

Cole: I’m alright. I just found out that Piper’s in the underworld, I think the Source has her.

Phoebe: The Source? A-are you sure? How do you know?

Cole: From another chameleon demon. I kinda ‘squeezed’ it out of him.

Phoebe: Well, we gotta find her. There’s gotta  be a spell in here somewhere.

(She picks up the Book of Shadows and has a premonition of the Source taking the BOS and killing Phoebe and Paige.)

Cole: Phoebe?

Phoebe: I saw the Source stealing the book and killing us with our powers.

Paige: Our powers? How can he get our powers?

Cole: Maybe he’s figured how to get them from Piper. Explains why he’s keeping her alive.

Phoebe: No, but she can’t give them up herself.

Leo: Well, she can using the relinquishing spell in the book.

Phoebe: But we burnt that spell three years ago, it doesn’t exist anymore.

Leo: It does in her mind.

Phoebe: That’s crazy. She’d never say it, she’d never give up her powers.

Paige: Even though she was kinda willing to this morning? I’m just saying.

Phoebe: Look, I know what you’re saying but you don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m sorry.

Paige: Forget it.

Leo: (to Cole) Maybe you and I should go down there, see if I can sense her.

Cole: Follow me.

(Cole shimmers out and Leo orbs out.)

Phoebe: Okay, there’s a bunch or summoning spells we can try.

[Scene: Piper’s mind. Halliwell Hospital. A room. Piper and Paige are strapped to the bed.]

Paige: I thought you said I wasn’t good enough for your little coven.

Piper: Paige, you are under a spell, you don’t know what you’re talking about.

Paige: I tried to be your friend, I even tried to play your stupid witchy games, but all you could do was complain about me and my stuff and how we didn’t compare to your beloved Prue.

Piper: I’ve never said that.

Paige: Hmm, you don’t have to. It’s obvious the way you treat me. You don’t even like me.

Piper: Paige, that’s ridiculous, we’re sisters.

Alaster: You don’t have any sisters, you’re an only child, Piper, you know that.

(He walks up to the cage door.)

Piper: I’m gonna be so happy when I vanquish your sorry ass.

(He opens the cage door and walks in the room.)

Alaster: You use it to explain things you can’t accept. Just like your best friend did before she got well. Prue.

Piper: Don’t you dare talk about Prue.

Paige: Here we go again. Say Prue.

Alaster: You’ve never forgiven her from finally accepting that she wasn’t a witch. You’ve convinced yourself that she’s dead.

Piper: She is dead.

Alaster: No, she’s not. We released her three months ago. She’s recovered, she’s free. Just like you could be if you’d stop fighting it. Accept the reality.

Piper: Let me out of these restraints, I’ll show you some reality.

Alaster: I’m afraid you’ll just hurt yourself again. I’m truly sorry.

(Alaster leaves the room.)

Piper: Leo! Leo!

Paige: Ugh, will you stop with the Leo, Leo. You’re driving me crazier than I already am.

Piper: Ughh! (Phoebe skips in, eating a cookie.) Phoebe, Phoebe, untie me, hurry, hurry.

Phoebe: Alright, alright, stop obsessing.

(Phoebe goes over to her.)

Piper: I’m not obsessing. What are you eating?

Phoebe: Chocolate chip cookie. Not your best.

Paige: Got milk? Ooh, don’t think so.

(Phoebe unbuckles Piper.)

Piper: Just get me out of these things, we need to reverse this damn spell. (Phoebe gasps.) What is it? What did you see?

Phoebe: I saw the back of my eyelids, what do you think I saw?

Piper: Oh, no, Phoebe, not you too.

Paige: Hurry up, looney tunes, get me outta here.

(Phoebe unbuckles Paige. They stand up.)

Piper: Alright, I don’t know what the hell is going on here, but we’ve gotta get to the Book of Shadows, and since evil can’t touch it, it’s still gotta be in the attic. Right, right, right? Let’s go.

(They run out of the room.)

[Cut to the hallway. Medical equipment is lined up against the walls. Piper and Paige sneak down.]

Piper: Alright, the first thing we gotta do is… Where’s Phoebe?

Paige: Who cares?

(Phoebe catches up to them, holding a broom.)

Phoebe: Sorry, had to grab my broom.

Piper: For what?

Phoebe: Well, for flying, silly. (They hear a man yelling from the attic.) Uh-oh, another innocent to save.

(She hops on the broom and runs upstairs.)

Piper: No, Phoebe, wait!

(They follow her.)

[Cut to the attic. The girls enter. Cole is lying on a chair with tubes stuck to his face. A doctor is sitting beside him.]

Cole: You can’t hurt me. I’m the mighty Belthazor.

Phoebe: Stop it, he’s not evil anymore, he’s good!

(Piper takes the broom and hits the doctor over the head. He falls back onto some chairs.)

Paige: Mmm, well he sure flew.

(Phoebe runs over to Cole and kisses him on the cheek. Piper and Paige go over to her.)

Piper: Hi, stop that. Has anybody seen the Book?

Phoebe: I know where it is. I hid it so the doctors… I mean the demons wouldn’t find it.

(Phoebe runs over to a small cupboard, reaches behind it and pulls out a notebook. She takes it to Piper.)

Piper: What? What is this? (She looks at it and someone has hand written “The Book of Shadows” and drawn a very odd-looking triquetra on the cover.) Uhh. (She opens it to a very messy “Ice Cream Man” page and flips over to see a very funny drawing of Belthazor.) Oh god. You are nuts. Okay, I don’t understand how a demon could take the book out of the house. Unless this isn’t the house. Okay, I gotta get you two outta here, maybe that’ll break the spell.

Paige: How come the spell didn’t work on you? Hehehe.

Phoebe: Don’t question the rules.

Piper: Come on, we’ll go down the trellis.

(She goes over to the window and opens the bars.)

Phoebe: What about Cole? I never get to spend any time with him.

Piper: Uh, we’ll come back for him later. Come on, come on. It’ll be fun. Hurry, hurry. Faster.

(Phoebe and Paige climb out the window. Alaster walks in.)

Alaster: Don’t.

(Piper climbs out the window. Alaster smiles a little.)

[Cut to outside. The girls run to the sidewalk, almost bumping into some people.]

Phoebe: I think we lost him.

Piper: Wait a minute, everything looks normal. But this, this is wrong. We should go back and try to get the demon to talk.

Paige: I’m thinking he’s not gonna be so eager to spill his guts.

(A thief steals a woman’s purse and runs across the road.)

Piper: Hey!

(Piper runs onto the road.)

Paige: Piper!

(A car heads straight for Piper. She tries to freeze it but nothing happens. The car hits Piper, she rolls onto the front of the car and rolls back off hitting the ground hard.)

[Cut to the underworld. Piper is bleeding from the mouth. Alaster/The Source floats Piper down.]

Alaster/The Source: I believe she’s just learned her lesson.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Manor. Attic. Phoebe and Paige are there reciting summoning spells.]

Phoebe, Paige: “Power of the witches rise, course unseen across the skies, come to us who call you near, come to us and settle here. Blood to blood I summon thee, blood to blood return to me.”

(Nothing happens.)

Paige: Any other spells you can think of?

Phoebe: No. I don’t know what else to do. If Leo and Cole can’t find her… (Paige gets an idea.) What is it?

Paige: Leo said something about the power of relinquishing spell being in Piper’s mind.

Phoebe: I told you, she’d never say it. Paige, you don’t know her as well as I do.

Paige: No, but I am getting to know the Source. He likes to play tricks on peoples minds. I mean, god knows, he did with mine, he almost had me kill again, remember?

Phoebe: Yeah, go on.

Paige: Well, maybe that’s what he’s trying to do to Piper, get into her mind somehow. I mean, if that’s where the spell is.

Phoebe: Then that’s probably where he’s looking for it. And if he can get into her mind, then why can’t we?

(She starts flipping through the Book of Shadows.)

[Cut to Halliwell Hospital in Piper’s mind. Piper is asleep in a bed. She has cuts and bruises on her face. Alaster waves something under her nose and she wakes up quickly.]

Alaster: Easy, easy. (Piper groans.) You’ve had a terrible accident.

Piper: What did you do to me?

Alaster: You got hit by a car. The driver said you didn’t even try to get out of the way. Piper, this delusion that you somehow have magical powers is going to get you killed one day.

Piper: Shove it. Where are my sisters?

Alaster: You mean your roommates. They’re safe downstairs. Piper, how can I save you if you won’t save yourself? You have to want to. You have to will it. Otherwise you just remain lost in this fantasy world of yours.

Piper: It’s real, and you’re just trying to confuse me.

Alaster: No, no, I’m trying to help you. Piper, your psychosis is forever in belief that you’re magical. But you know that’s just an escape.

Piper: Escape? What escape?

Alaster: From some deep seated pain, some terrible loss. Most likely the death of your grandmother. Which is after all when these series of episodes began. And your pain. You can do it. In one of your sessions you mentioned a poema… a spell you called it. One that relinquishes the special powers that you think you have.

Piper: No. Go away.

Alaster: Say the spell, Piper. It’ll free you, I promise you. It’ll release you from all the, the crippling delusions you have.

Piper: Get out. Get away from me, get out!

(He stands up.)

Alaster: You have the power to give you the life you’ve always wanted. (He walks to the door.) All you have to do is stop putting the illusion of being a witch in front of it.

(He leaves and closes the door. She throws something at it.)

Piper: Leo. Leo, where are you?

[Cut to the underworld. Leo and Cole are there. Leo is trying to sense Piper. Cole is hiding behind a rock wall.]

Cole: (whispers) Leo.

Leo: She’s hurt.

Cole: Where is she?

Leo: I don’t know, I can’t get an exact reading.

(An energy ball hits a rock near them. Cole looks around the corner and throws an energy ball at the bounty hunter, missing.)

Cole: Try harder.

Leo: I can’t. The Source must have learned from last time, he’s blocking Piper’s signal.

(The bounty hunter throws another energy ball.)

Cole: Well, we have to find the Source.

Leo: How are we gonna do that?

Cole: There’s only one way.

Leo: Cole.

(Cole steps out and the bounty hunter throws an energy ball at him. He falls to the ground. Two bounty hunters go over and drag him away.)

Commercial Break

[Scene: Halliwell Hospital. Piper is laying on a bed. Leo sits down beside her.]

Leo: Hey.

Piper: Leo. Heal me, please.

Leo: This ought to help.

(He pulls out a needle.)

Piper: No, not with that, with your powers.

Leo: If I had powers, honey, I would use them. You know that I would.

(He sticks the needle into Piper.)

Leo: It kills me to see you like this. (She looks at him and smiles.) What?

Piper: White lights. I see white lights all around you.

Leo: That’s the pain killer.

Piper: No, you’re my Whitelighter.

Leo: Dr. Alaster says there’s a way for you to get better. Is that true?

(He wipes a bit of blood off Piper’s lip.)

Piper: I-I don’t…

Leo: If it were then we can be together. We wouldn’t have to keep sneaking around, breaking the rules.

Piper: Rules? But we’re married.

Leo: No, only in your fantasy world. But it doesn’t have to be that way. If you were to get better, then we could be married for real. And have that little girl that you’ve been dreaming about in the future. Come on, I wanna show you something.

(He picks her up.)

[Cut to the underworld. The two bounty hunters walk in the cave. The Oracle walks over to them.]

Oracle: What are you doing here? Leave now.

Bounty #1: I don’t think so.

(They drop Cole on the ground. The Oracle smiles.)

Bounty #2: Tell the Source we’ve captured Belthazor.

Oracle: Leave him. I’ll make surer you get the credit.

Bounty #2: We’re not going without our bounty.

Oracle: Then you’ll wait.

(The Oracle walks over to Alaster/The Source.)

Alaster/The Source: I have a surprise for you, Piper.

[Cut to Halliwell Hospital. Alaster opens the door to a beautiful garden.]

Alaster: One that I think you’ll like.

(Leo wheels Piper out in a wheelchair. Two butterflies flutter near her and she holds out her hand.)

Leo: You see, there’s magic in the real world too.

Alaster: Your friends have come to visit you.

(Becca, Wendy and some other women walk up to her.)

Becca: Piper, how are you?

Piper: Becca?

Becca: It’s so good to see you again, we’ve missed you.

(Wendy shows Piper her baby.)

Wendy: We’ve got so much to catch up on.

Piper: Wendy, when did you have your baby?

Wendy: Just after the shower. Don’t you remember? Do you wanna hold her? Here. (She puts the baby in Piper’s arms.) Isn’t the outfit you bought her just adorable?

(Piper starts to cry.)

Becca: What’s the matter, honey? Why are you crying?

Alaster: I think it’s probably best if you all go now.

Becca: But we just got here. And everyone’s so excited to finally see her again.

Alaster: I’m sorry. You understand.

(Wendy takes away her baby. Piper cries. They all say bye and leave.)

Leo: You can have this life, Piper. We can have it together. You already know how to get it for us. It’s the only way you’ll ever get out of here. To free yourself once and for all, to free us.

Piper: The spell.

Leo: Yes. The spell. (He hands her a pen and paper.) Try to remember it. Exactly.

(He kisses the top of her head and walks away.)

[Scene: Manor. Attic. Phoebe and Paige are there. They have the Book of Shadows open to a page. Phoebe lights some candles.]

Paige: Are we sure we wanna do this?

Phoebe: This was your idea, remember?

Paige: Well, in the abstract, yeah, but, uh, I have enough trouble being in my head let alone someone else’s.

Phoebe: Well, our minds won’t actually be in Piper’s body, just our consciousness. Kinda like astral projection.

Paige: Okay, so the spell gets us in her head. What about after that?

Phoebe: We use the reversal spell to get us out. Are you ready? (They kneel inside a circle of candles.) I’m not about to lose another sister. And neither are you.

(They join hands.)

Phoebe, Paige: “Life to life and mind to mind, our spirits now will intertwine; We mould our souls and journey to, the one whose thoughts we wish we knew.”

(They collapse on the floor.)

[Cut to Piper’s mind. Garden. Phoebe and Paige pop in the scene.]

Phoebe: I think it worked.

Paige: Either that or we’re in Mary Poppins’ head.

(Phoebe turns to see Piper.)

Phoebe: Piper. (They run over to her.) Piper. We’re gonna get you outta her. Okay, I have the spell.

Piper: No, no more spells.

Phoebe: Piper, honey, it’s us, your sisters.

Piper: I don’t have any sisters. Go away, leave me alone!

(Alaster storms out of the house.)

Alaster: You’re too late. Her nightmare’s about to end.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Piper’s mind. Garden. Two doctors have a hold of Phoebe and Paige.]

Alaster: Keep ’em here. I want them to witness this. And no threats, your powers don’t work here.

Paige: Oh, yeah? Spell! (Nothing happens. The doctor jerks her.) Ow!

Alaster: Pain, however, you do feel. And will after she recites the spell thrice. Once for each of your powers.

(Leo walks out.)

Phoebe: Leo. Help Piper, get her outta here.

Alaster: Yes, Leo, by all means.

(Leo wheels her down the path.)

Leo: It’s okay. Piper, honey, just say the word and everything will be alright.

(Phoebe and Paige try to escape from the doctors grip.)

Paige: No!

Piper: “From whence they came return them now…”

Phoebe: Piper, don’t! Please, Piper, don’t.

Piper: “Vanish the words, vanish our powers…”

Paige: Don’t trust them, they’re trying to steal our powers!

Alaster: Don’t listen to them.

Leo: They’re still delusional.

Alaster: You’re not.

Leo: Not anymore.

Alaster: Just two more times.

[Cut to the cave in the underworld.]

Alaster: You’ll set yourself free. (Leo looks around the corner.) Say the spell, Piper. You know you want to.

Leo: Come on, Cole, wake up. (He orbs out and orbs back in front of the two bounty hunters.) How you doing?

(He orbs back out. The bounty hunter throws an energy ball, vanquishing the other bounty hunter. Leo orbs in behind the bounty hunter, taps him on the shoulder and knocks him out. Leo races over to Cole.) Cole, hurry, wake up.

Oracle: (to Alaster) Finish this, you’re in danger.

(The bounty stands up. Cole wakes up and throws an energy ball at the bounty hunter, vanquishing him.)

Leo: Piper.

(He runs over and the Oracle tries to stop him. He pushes her out of the way. He tries to get to Piper but a protective shield pushes him across the room. Cole throws an energy ball at Alaster/The Source but the shield protects him. he throws another and another.)

[Cut to the garden in Piper’s mind.]

Piper: “Vanish our powers.”

Alaster: One last time.

(Phoebe elbows the doctor and trips him.)

Phoebe: Now!

(Paige moves her head and Phoebe punches the other doctor.)

[Cut to the cave. Cole throws many energy balls at Alaster/The Source.]

Oracle: Break the connection or he’ll kill you!

[Cut to the garden. Phoebe kicks Alaster.]

Alaster: I told you, you’re too late.

[Cut to the cave. Cole throws another energy ball and Alaster/The Source flies back.]

[Cut to the garden. Alaster, Leo and the doctors disappear.]

[Cut to the cave. Alaster/The Source stands up and touches his bleeding side. Alaster screams and changes back into the Source. Cole gets a large energy ball ready.]

Oracle: No!

(She runs in front of the Source and Cole throws the energy ball, vanquishing the Oracle. The Source flames out.)

[Cut to the garden.]

Phoebe: Piper, please, don’t do this. Our magic is a gift. Please don’t throw is away.

Piper: “From whence they came, return them now.”

[Cut to the cave. Leo holds his hands next to Piper’s head.]

[Cut to the garden. Leo pops in the scene.]

Leo: Piper, don’t. (He goes over to her.) Listen to your sisters, trust them. Trust me, don’t say the spell, don’t relinquish your powers.

(Leo heals her wound. She looks around and points to Leo.)

Piper: (normal) Are you really my husband?

(He laughs.)

Leo: Yes.

Piper: And that would make you two really my sisters.

Phoebe: Whether you like it or not.

Piper: And so that demon is gone? (Phoebe nods.) Thank god, (she stands up) because that guy was freaking me out.

Paige: Whattaya say we uh, click our heals and get out of this crazy joint? Uh, no offense.

Piper: That’s okay. (She watches some butterflies fly past.) My life has always been a little crazy.

[Scene: Manor. Piper runs down the stairs and goes through all the rooms. Phoebe, Paige, Leo and Cole come down the stairs.]

Phoebe: Is something wrong?

Piper: No, everything is just right.

Paige: Except for my chair.

(Phoebe nudges her.)

Piper: Yeah, which, um, I’ll actually pay to replace.

Paige: Oh, god no, it’s not your fault. Or is it?

Piper: Actually, yeah, it was. I was just upset that there was yet another demon in our lives. And I know I should stop fighting it and just accept it but…

Paige: Nah, it wasn’t my favourite chair anyway. And it’s actually kinda good to know that I’m not the only one who struggles with the idea of being a witch.

Phoebe: No, believe me, you’re in good company.

(She hugs her.)

Leo: Well, the good news is you won’t have to deal with the Source any time soon because Cole hurt him pretty bad.

Cole: Not bad enough though, he’ll be back.

Phoebe: So, he’s gone for now isn’t he? First time in a long time. I think we should take advantage of that.

Cole: Why, Ms. Halliwell, are you trying to seduce me?

(He pulls her in.)

Phoebe: Always.

Piper: Eww.

(Leo laughs. Phoebe and Cole run up the stairs.)

Paige: Okay, and I’m just gonna… go to the store, get some milk, or something.

(She leaves.)

Leo: Sure you’re okay?

Piper: Yeah. You know, I-I’m never gonna stop wanting a normal life, but you know what? I think that’s the one thing that actually keeps me sane.

Leo: Well, you deserve a normal life, Piper. We both do. And maybe we’ll get that when we vanquish the Source once and for all.

Piper: And who knows. Maybe one day I can have a baby shower of my own. What do you think?

Leo: Well, in that case… (He picks her up.) We need to practice a little.

Piper: Leo! (They orb out.)


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