Bride and Gloom

Written by: William Schmidt
Transcribed by: Shay Fitzpatrick

Season 3, Episode 13
Episode Number: 57

[Scene: Manor. Phoebe’s room. Phoebe is lying on her bed eating popcorn and watching “Kill It Before It Dies”.]

Sally Mae: (on TV) Oh, Billy! Please don’t leave me alone! Aah!

Billy: (on TV) Guess who?

Sally Mae: Oh! Is it really over?

Billy: Yes, Sally Mae, it is.

Sally Mae: Really and truly?

Billy: I’m here now, and as long as I’m with you, everything’s gonna be A-OK.

Sally Mae: Promise?

Billy: Promise.

Sally Mae: You’re my hero, Billy.

Billy: And I think you’re swell, Sally Mae.

(Billy and Sally Mae go off screen and Cole shimmers in the TV. Phoebe looks closer at the TV.)

Phoebe: Cole?

Cole: Phoebe, hi. Just a little trick I learned from the demon of illusion.

Phoebe: But what…

Cole: Am I doing in here? Uh, I wasn’t sure how you’d react. Thought this might be a safer way of letting you know I was back… for good.

Opening Credits

[Scene: P3. Prue and Justin walk outside. It’s the end of their date.]

Prue: So, um, I had a really good time tonight, Justin.

Justin: Did you? I mean, really? The reason I ask is that you seemed kind of quiet.

Prue: No, it’s just that, you know, I’ve got a lot on my mind with Piper getting married and everything.

Justin: Sure, ‘course, if I was the paranoid type, I would be thinking it was because of me.

Prue: Don’t be ridiculous.

Justin: So are we still on for lunch tomorrow?

Prue: Yeah, pick me up at 1:00.

Justin: It’s a date.

Prue: Okay.

(They kiss awkwardly.)

Justin: Good night.

Prue: Night.

(Justin leaves. Prue walks back inside. A man is watching her near by.)

[Cut inside. Prue walks up to Piper and Leo who are sitting at the bar.]

Prue: Hey.

(Piper looks at her watch.)

Piper: Gee, Prue, it’s only 9:00 and your date’s already over? How very Disney of you.

Prue: Justin has a meeting early in the morning.

Piper: I see. So did you decide if you’re going to invite him to the wedding?

Prue: No, I’m stalling. Oh, you know, he’s a nice guy, he’s sweet, but he’s just so predictable, you know? There’s no mystery, no savoir-faire. (Prue puts on some lipstick.) You know, besides, a wedding invite definitely makes a statement.

Leo: That he can tie a bow tie?

Prue: No, that the relationship is serious, you know? That it’s going somewhere. All that built-in romance, mingling with the family, hidden tensions.

Leo: All the more reason to have a nice, simple, private wedding.

Piper: Nice try, mister. Okay, the wedding planner, tomorrow at 11:00, no getting out of it, no orbing out of it, nothing. Don’t even try it.

(Piper goes to the bathroom. The man watching before pretends to be on the phone as Piper walks past. He shape-shifts into Piper.)

[Cut back to Prue and Leo.]

Leo: I don’t know. I just don’t want to set her up for a big disappointment. I mean, how do you have a normal wedding when a ghost’ll be presiding and the groom’s dead?

Prue: Leo, don’t even try to figure it out, alright? It’s a Cinderella complex. Every girl goes through it. I’ve been dreaming of this day my entire life.

Leo: Piper’s wedding?

(Prue slaps his arm lightly.)

Prue: No, mine. I mean, I’m the oldest. I’m supposed to do everything first. I’m supposed to talk first and get braces and get a boyfriend and find a husband.

(Shape-shifter Piper walks up to them.)

Shape-shifter Piper: Hey, Prue. Can I borrow your lipstick?

Prue: What?

Shapeshifter Piper: Lipstick. I’m out. Do you mind?

Prue: Sure, knock yourself out. (Piper takes it and walks away.) You’re welcome!

(The shape-shifter shape-shifts back into himself.)

[Cut back to Prue and Leo.]

Leo: Listen, speaking of Phoebe, don’t you think it’s time to let her off the hook a little? I mean, she came clean about Cole.

Prue: Leo, you can’t just pretend to vanquish a demon and then two months later say, gee guys, I’m sorry, I didn’t.

Leo: I know, but for what it’s worth, I don’t think she wants him back in her life anymore.

Prue: Maybe not, but that doesn’t mean he’s not gonna try and kill us again.

[Scene: At an altar. The shape-shifter (Zile) kneels down in front of the altar. A priestess, Dantalian, appears in front of him.]

Zile: Dantalian. Priestess Dantalian.

(He stands up.)

Dantalian: Were you successful?

Zile: She’s as beautiful as you said she’d be.

(He hands her the lipstick.)

Dantalian: You’re certain this has touched her lips?

Zile: Absolutely. I watched her all night. Not to be ungrateful, but what do you get out of making Prue Halliwell my wife?

Dantalian: I’m a humble servant of the Source, Zile. I get nothing other than the benefits we all reap whenever good is turned evil.

Zile: Still, for all the unions you’ve consecrated, it seems you should get something, especially for this one.

(Dantalian places a small scorpion in a bowl.)

Dantalian: There is a spoil that intrigues me. The Halliwell Book of Shadows is said to be the most magical of all tomes.

Zile: The witch’s Book of Shadows? That shouldn’t be too hard to get.

Dantalian: This one is. Evil can’t touch it, although turning Prue evil should turn her sisters and their Book evil as well. Their magic interconnected.

Zile: Well, then I’ll get it for you myself, as a token of my gratitude.

Dantalian: First things first. Getting the witch here so I can perform the ceremony. That’s what this potion is for. (She wipes some potion on Zile’s lips.) Kiss her, and it paralyzes her. After I bind you in marriage, she’ll fall into a deep sleep where the transformation to evil will occur.

[Scene: Manor. Prue, Leo and the two wedding planners are standing in the foyer. Piper walks down the stairs.]

Piper: Okay, so the more traditional the better as far as I’m concerned. The wedding march starts, and I come down the stairs.

Female Planner: So, no flower girl?

Piper: Uh, I don’t know. Do I?

Prue: Well, unless you want to ask Kate down the street.

Leo: Great idea. Maybe she can bring some of her fairy friends. Or trolls, even better.

Female Planner: Trolls?

Piper: Uh…

Prue: Right, trolls, uh, our father’s side of the family is very short.

Piper: Right, let’s skip the flower girl.

Prue: Right.

Female Planner: Well, I think we should at least dress the banister with garlands. Maybe even carry the floral theme all the way to the altar. How many guests are you planning on?

Piper: Uh, let me think. Fifty, sixty.

Leo: Sixty? Like who?

Piper: Well, there’s all the people from P3, friends and Darryl and dad, mum.

Prue: Uh, mum? Piper, I don’t really think that you can count her.

Male Planner: We’ll have to if she’s going to eat.

Prue: Oh, trust me, she won’t be eating.

Female Planner: I thought your mother passed on.

Prue: Mmm hmm.

Piper: Right, she did. Um, I just I meant I hope she’s there in spirit.

Female Planner: Oh.

Male Planner: You’re right, that doesn’t count. (He scribbles something out on his notepad.) Now, have you thought of what kind of hor d’eouvres you’d like by any chance?

Piper: Um…

Leo: Pigs in a blanket.

(Piper laughs.)

Piper: Leo, I was, I was hoping for something a little bit more elegant.

(The phone rings.)

Prue: I’ll get that.

Piper: Excuse us.

(Prue answers the phone. Leo and Piper go into another room.)

Female Planner: We still need to place the ice sculpture.

Prue: (on phone) Hello?

[Cut to Piper and Leo.]

Piper: What is the matter with you? Why are you doing this?

Leo: Because this is a disaster waiting to happen, that’s why.

Piper: Oh! Well, keep that up and it will be.

Leo: Piper, I love you, and I want nothing more for you than to have your dream wedding, but you are kidding yourself with this. We don’t need wedding planners. We just need us.

Piper: You may not need wedding planners, but I do. I don’t want to have to worry about anything. And therefore, if I have to fight a demon in the morning, I know that the flowers will still be there on time.

Leo: It’s not the flowers that I’m worried about. It’s the guests, as in how do we explain everything to them? I mean, a Whitelighter marrying a witch is hardly traditional.

Piper: Obviously.

[Cut to Prue.]

Prue: (on phone) Okay, Justin, I’ll meet you there. Bye.

(Prue hangs up. Phoebe walks past.)

Prue: Hey, Phoebe.

Phoebe: I’m running late for school.

Prue: Okay, do you want a ride?

Phoebe: Isn’t Justin picking you up for lunch?

Prue: Well, his car broke down, so I’m meeting him there and I thought that, uh, we could talk. You know, try and put this whole Cole situation behind us.

Phoebe: I gotta go.

(She leaves. Piper comes back in.)

Piper: Okay, tell me the truth. Do you think I’m overdoing it with the wedding stuff? Hello?

Prue: Uh, okay, why is Phoebe going to school without her books?

Piper: Okay, why is Prue not answering Piper’s question?

Prue: Maybe because she doesn’t want both of her sisters not speaking to her. Um, okay, I have to go meet Justin. Can I have my lipstick back?

Piper: What lipstick?

Prue: The one that you borrowed last night at the club.

Piper: Wasn’t me.

Prue: Right, I must’ve gotten you confused with another Piper. Okay, you have fun with what’s going on here, ’cause it, it looks great. Okay, bye.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Cemetery. Phoebe walks in the mausoleum.]

Phoebe: Cole?

Cole: Phoebe? (He comes out from behind a crypt and walks over to her.) I knew you’d know where to find me.

(Phoebe punches him in the face.)

Phoebe: That is for ruining my favourite movie and, oh yeah, my life too.

Cole: Phoebe.

Phoebe: I don’t want to hear it, Cole. I’m over you. I want nothing to do with you anymore.

Cole: I don’t believe that.

Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, believe it because if I ever see you again, I’m gonna do what I should’ve done a long time ago, which is vanquish your sorry ass.

Cole: Apparently distance hasn’t exactly made the heart grow fonder.

Phoebe: Huh.

(She turns to leave.)

Cole: Phoebe, wait. Hey! (Phoebe stops.) Look, I took a huge risk coming out in the open and contacting you. The least you can do is hear me out. (She turns back around.) I’ve been hiding this whole time, shimmering from realm to realm to realm to keep the Source from realizing you didn’t vanquish my sorry ass. You’re the only one who knows I’m alive.

Phoebe: Actually that’s not true. I couldn’t keep lying to my sisters. I had to tell them.

Cole: Okay, that’s okay, I understand. As long as you didn’t tell Leo. (Phoebe looks away.) Oh, for god’s sake, Phoebe. Why didn’t you just put an ad in the paper, tell the whole damn world!

Phoebe: You know what? Maybe I should have.

Cole: I’ve risked my life for you, Phoebe. My soul. I’ve put myself in more danger coming back here than you could possibly imagine because I want to try and figure out how to make this work between us.

Phoebe: Good and evil can’t work together.

Cole: We did before.

Phoebe: I learned from my mistakes.

Cole: So did I. Phoebe, I can suppress my demonic half just like I suppressed my human half before we met. I can be good. You’ve seen that. And if you know I can, then why can’t we be together?

Phoebe: It’s too late.

(She leaves.)

[Scene: Restaurant. Prue is sitting at a table. Justin walks in, tells the waiter something, and then walks over to Prue.]

Justin: Hey.

Prue: Hey.

Justin: Sorry about my car.

Prue: Oh, that’s okay. (He kisses her hand.) Not a problem.

Justin: What?

Prue: Nothing.

(Justin sits down.)

Justin: You know, I really should sell that old thing but, I don’t know, I kind of like having something not so predictable in this day and age. Know what I mean?

Prue: Right. So, you don’t think of yourself as predictable?

Justin: Me?

(The waiter approaches them holding a bottle of wine.)

Waiter: Pardon me. Beringer, private reserve?

Justin: Yes, thank you. Predictable? Hardly.

Prue: Right.

[Cut to the manor. Justin is outside waiting on the porch. Phoebe walks up the stairs.]

Phoebe: Hey, Justin.

Justin: Hey.

Phoebe: What are you doing here?

Justin: I’m picking up Prue for lunch.

(Phoebe walks inside and Justin follows.)

Phoebe: Piper!

Justin: Is something wrong?

Phoebe: I’m not sure.

Piper: What’s up?

Phoebe: Where’s Prue?

Piper: I don’t know. At the restaurant, I guess.

Phoebe: Supposedly meeting Justin.

Justin: No, I told her I’d pick her up here.

Phoebe: Okay, so you didn’t call this morning and tell her that your car broke down and you’d meet her there?

Justin: No.

(Piper and Phoebe exchange looks.)

[Cut back to the restaurant. Justin pours some wine in Prue’s glass.]

Prue: Oh, no, no. I have to work this afternoon.

Justin: So your photographs are a little fuzzy. Call it avant-garde.

Prue: Oh.

(Her phone rings. She goes to answer it but Justin stops her.)

Justin: How important can it be?

(She turns off her phone.)

Prue: What?

Justin: Can I ask you a favour?

Prue: Sure.

Justin: Last night when we kissed goodbye, it was, I don’t know, not great.

Prue: Yeah.

Justin: How about we try it again, see if we can’t do it a little better? Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?

(They lean over and kiss. The surroundings change into Dantalian’s altar. They end the kiss.)

Prue: Where am I? I can’t move.

Justin: My apologies.

(Justin shapeshifts into Zile.)

Dantalian: It’s true. Every bride is beautiful on her wedding day.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Manor. Dining room. Phoebe’s at the table scrying for Prue. Piper comes in carrying the Book of Shadows.]

Piper: Find her?

Phoebe: Not yet.

Piper: We’re screwed.

Phoebe: Not yet.

(Leo orbs in.)

Piper: Leo, what did you find out?

Leo: Nothing.

Phoebe: Okay, now we’re screwed.

Piper: Nothing on the map, nothing in the Book. Leo, somebody must know something.

Leo: Well, the Elders support your shape-shifting warlock theory, but they can’t get a clear read on the situation.

Phoebe: Wait, so Prue’s vanished from your radar and something’s jamming theirs?

Leo: Something like that. But she can’t be dead. They’d be able to sense that no matter how evil is interfering.

Phoebe: Okay, then what’s going on? What are we up against?

Piper: Something powerful enough to keep us from finding her.

Leo: Well, you knew as your powers grew, the evils would too.

Piper: Yeah, but so powerful that we can’t figure out who they are, let enough how to fight them? That sucks.

Leo: What we need to figure out is why a warlock wants Prue alive.

Phoebe: Well, it can’t just be for her powers. I mean, they wouldn’t need to keep her alive to get them.

Leo: Unless it’s an upper-level warlock which wants…

Phoebe: All of our powers.

Piper: But we still have the same problem. No idea how to find her.

Leo: It’s too bad you vanquished that demonic bounty hunter. He could’ve helped.

(Phoebe gets an idea.)

Phoebe: Right.

(Phoebe stands up.)

Piper: Where are you going?

Phoebe: I have a hunch. Wait for me.

(Phoebe leaves the room.)

[Cut to Dantalian and Zile. Prue is dressed in black, laying on the altar. Dantalian covers Prue’s face with a black veil.]

Dantalian: Shall we begin?

Zile: I’m ready.

Dantalian: I hope so. (She touches their foreheads.) In the beginning, we were damned, and through damnation, we found freedom, power, and purpose. As I unite you today, I remind you of those gifts. (Dantalian ties Zile and Prue’s hands together.) And in your union, may these gifts increase so your powers may grow in the service of evil. So be it.

Zile: How long before her transformation is complete?

Dantalian: Sundown. Can you wait that long?

Zile: For the power of the Charmed Ones? I can wait a few hours.

Dantalian: Let me be the first to congratulate you.

(She kisses him. He is affected by the potion.)

Zile: Why?

Dantalian: Because I’m tired of bestowing great power on others. The Halliwell Book of Shadows is the key to unbelievable power for me. Evil will spread from this sister to the other two, from them to the Book, and once the Book is evil, it’ll be mine, and I will be unstoppable. (Zile lays down beside Prue.) But know this. I will enjoy killing all of you.

[Scene: Mausoleum. Phoebe runs in.]

Phoebe: Cole? Cole? Uh, please, if you can hear me, I…

(Cole shimmers in.)

Cole: I was beginning to think I’d never see you again.

Phoebe: I’m not here because of us. I need you to help me and if you do, it doesn’t change anything between us. You have to know that.

Cole: Hmm. I’m listening.

Phoebe: Prue was taken. By a warlock.

Cole: Do you know which one?

Phoebe: We think he’s a shape-shifter, but the weird thing is, is nobody from our side could get a read on where he’s hiding her.

Cole: Well, that doesn’t make sense. Warlocks don’t have that kind of power. He must be working with somebody that does. Certain dignitaries have the power to shield their activities. Demonic judges, dark priests, anyone who needs privacy for rituals.

Phoebe: What kind of rituals? To accomplish what?

Cole: It’s hard to say. Could be anything. They may want your Book. We all want your Book.

Phoebe: Really.

Cole: I wanted the Book at first.

Phoebe: Well, how can we find out who wants it now?

Cole: I could check around, but I’d risk demons finding out I was still alive. I’m sure there’s still a huge bounty on my head.

Phoebe: I want my sister back.

Cole: No matter the cost?

Phoebe: I want my sister back.

(He stands closer to her.)

Cole: I’m doing this for you. Know that. (Phoebe turns to leave but turns back around and kisses Cole passionately.) Now I’m really confused.

Phoebe: Me too. I, uh, I-I don’t, I don’t know where that came from.

Cole: Okay, uh, I better go.

Phoebe: Yeah.

Cole: Listen, if you don’t hear back from me, I, um, I got caught.

(Cole shimmers out.)

[Cut to the manor. Piper is sitting on the couch flipping through the Book of Shadows. Leo sits down beside her.]

Leo: I thought you said there was nothing in the Book.

Piper: Well, now there’s just a whole bunch of weirdness in it. Look.

Leo: Hemlock killing spell? That doesn’t belong in here.

Piper: But it does have possibilities.

Leo: Piper.

Piper: I’m sorry. I-I don’t know what I was…

(Piper blinks out of the room and blinks back in the kitchen.)

Leo: Piper?

Piper: In here, somehow.

(Leo walks in the kitchen.)

Leo: You blinked.

Piper: I did not. Only warlocks do that.

Leo: Piper, you did it.

(Phoebe walks in.)

Phoebe: Hey.

Piper: Where have you been?

Phoebe: Uh, brainstorming. How’s it going here?

Leo: Your sister’s blinking.

Phoebe: I-I’m, I’m sorry, what?

Piper: Okay, I admit it, it was definitely weird, but it was kinda fun. I was, I was in there and I was thinking about the kitchen and then suddenly, boom! Here I was.

Phoebe: That is so cool.

Leo: Except that it’s a warlocks power.

Phoebe: So what? They’re always trying to get one of ours, it’s about time we got one of theirs.

Piper: Try it, Pheebs.

Phoebe: Okay, what do I do? Just think?

Piper: And blink.

(Phoebe blinks out of the kitchen and so does Piper.)

[Cut to another room in the house.]

Piper: Catch us if you can!

(Leo walks in.)

Phoebe: Have you tried it yet, Leo? It’s a real head rush.

Leo: Do you realise how serious this is? You’re blinking, the Book is changing.

Piper: Maybe we’re blinking because of the Book.

Leo: The Book is changing because of you. It is an extension of you.

Piper: Huh. I should care about that, but I don’t.

(Piper and Phoebe walk out of the room and Leo follows.)

Leo: This is what I was afraid of. Whoever’s got Prue is somehow reaching you too.

Phoebe: Okay, Leo, I could tell this really upsets you, but I gotta tell you, I really like this whole think-it-and-it-happens deal. I mean, think of the time we could save not chanting.

Piper: Mmm hmm.

Leo: Piper, Phoebe, you have to fight this.

(The doorbell rings.)

Piper: Or we could answer the door.

(Piper heads towards the door.)

Leo: For Prue’s sake, stop.

Piper: Don’t tell me what to do.

Leo: Phoebe, I need your help.

Phoebe: I am so tired of helping people.

(Piper opens the door and the planners are there.)

Female Planner: So glad you’re home. We have some new floral sketches we’d like you to see.

Leo: Now’s not really a good time.

Piper: They’re welcome to come in, Leo.

Male Planner: I revisited the dinner menu, Piper, and you are going to be thrilled. I have some dynamic choices that I…

Piper: I want pigs in blankets.

(The planners laugh.)

Female Planner: It’s nice to see a bride who still has a sense of humour this close to the big day.

Piper: No, I want pigs in blankets.

(Piper turns the male planner into a pig dressed in a blanket. The female planner screams. Phoebe laughs.)

Phoebe: Marie seems very scared.

Piper: I always had her pegged as an ice queen.

Phoebe: Oh! What a great idea.

(Piper covers Marie in ice.)

Piper: Now there’s a freezing power with kick.

Leo: Have you guys lost your minds?

Phoebe: Oh, Leo, get on board. Whatever it is, this is fabulous. You can’t imagine the freedom, the power.

Leo: Phoebe, that is evil talking. You have to fight it.

Phoebe: What did you ever see in him.

Piper: I don’t know. He is kind of a stick in the mud, isn’t he?

Phoebe: Oh, another great idea. May I?

Piper: Be my guest.

Leo: Alright, think about the power of three.

(Phoebe turns Leo into a stick in a bucket of mud.)

Phoebe: Oh.

Piper: Hmm.

Phoebe: Look at all the fun we’ve been missing.

Piper: And this is just the beginning.

Phoebe:  See ya, Leo.

(They walk away.)

[Cut to the altar. Dantalian uncovers Prue’s face.]

Dantalian: Just the beginning.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Manor. Piper and Phoebe walk into the foyer. Phoebe is holding a butcher’s knife. They crouch down beside the pig.]

Phoebe: Oh, you know, it’s your wedding. Shouldn’t the first kill be yours?

Piper: This is too easy. It’s boring. I want to do something bigger.

(They stand up.)

Phoebe: Count me in.

Piper: You know, if what’s happening to us is happening to Prue…

Phoebe: The the power of three can be truly amazing. We have to find her.

Piper: But first we need to clean house.

(Piper changes the pig back into the male planner and unfreezes Marie.)

Male Planner: I’m sorry, (snorts) what were you saying?

Piper: You’re fired!

(Using telekinesis, Phoebe opens the front door and the planners get pushes outside. She closes the door. Piper and Phoebe turn around.)

Phoebe: Oh, no. What are we gonna do with the stick in the mud?

Piper: Wait, I think we can have some fun with it.

(Piper changes the bucket back into Leo.)

Leo: What happened to Craig and Marie?

Piper: Oh, they flew right outta here. Scared the hell out of them.

Phoebe: Leo, we need to find Prue.

Leo: Good, Phoebe, focus on that. It’ll help you resist the evil.

Phoebe: The only thing we’re resisting is the desire to rip you to pieces and have you for lunch.

Piper: But if you help us find Prue, we’ll leave you alone, for the moment.

(The Elders call Leo.)

Phoebe: Oh.

Piper: Oh, Leo, ignore them. What do they know? They’re backing a losing team.

Leo: They’re revoking my assignment.

Piper: What? They can’t do that. You haven’t done anything wrong… yet.

Leo: You did. You gave into evil. You’ve relinquished your right to a Whitelighter. I’m sorry.

(He orbs out.)

Phoebe: Well.

Piper: Oh, no, he’s gone. We’re free.

Phoebe: Yes.

Piper: No more obeying the rules, considering the consequences, none of that crap.

Phoebe: Time to find Prue and go for broke.

(Phoebe heads upstairs.)

Piper: Where are you going?

Phoebe: Well, I can’t wreak havoc dressed like this.

Piper: Oh.

(Piper looks down at what she’s wearing.)

[Cut to Phoebe’s room. Phoebe walks in. Cole comes out from behind the door and closes it. Phoebe turns around.]

Cole: Phoebe.

Phoebe: Cole, you’re okay.

Cole: Yeah, barely.

Phoebe: Any demons spot you?

Cole: Just one.

Phoebe: Oh no.

Cole: Don’t worry. See, he won’t be telling anybody anything.

Phoebe: The big bad Belthazor strikes again.

Cole: Not anything I’m proud of.

Phoebe: Why not? You should be.

(Phoebe kisses him.)

Cole: Phoebe, if what I found out is true, Prue’s in serious trouble. She’s been forced to marry a warlock.

Phoebe: Figures that bitch would steal Piper’s thunder.

Cole: No, you don’t understand. A high level priestess named Dantalian is rumoured to have married them. (Phoebe starts untying her top.) And she’s got the power to turn Prue evil and turn you evil too. That’s what’s happening here.

Phoebe: So? Isn’t that the way you want me?

(Phoebe kisses him passionately.)

Cole: Mmm, no. That is not how I want you to be. It’s not how I want us to be. Our only chance is if we’re both good.

Phoebe: Love is love.

Cole: There’s no such thing as evil love. It’s just gratification, lust.

Phoebe: You know what, Cole? Your human half is kind of preachy. I think I want Belthazor back.

Cole: He’s not coming back.

Phoebe: Oh, no? (Phoebe knees him in the stomach.) I! (kicks him) want! (kicks him) Belthazor! (kicks him. Cole turns into Belthazor.) That’s more like it.

(Piper knocks on the door.)

Piper: Phoebe? What are you doing?

Belthazor: Dantalian’s coming for your book. You’d better be ready.

(Belthazor shimmers out. Piper walks in.)

Piper: What’s going on in here?

Pheobe: Nothing, unfortunately.

Piper: I heard voices.

Phoebe: Oh, did you? Um, I had a premonition. Must have gotten pretty loud.

Piper: I guess.

Phoebe: We gotta go. The high priestess that has Prue, supposedly she’s coming here.

(Phoebe walks out of her room.)

Piper: High prie– Must have been a hell of a premonition.

[Cut to the altar. Dantalian is chanting.]

[Cut to the attic. The triquetra on the Book Of Shadows glows.]

[Cut back to the altar.]

Dantalian: It’s time.

[Cut back to the attic. Dantalian appears. She picks up the Book of Shadows.]

Dantalian: That was easy.

Piper: Too easy. (Phoebe kicks Dantalian from behind. She falls to the floor. Piper and Phoebe walk over to her. Phoebe is holding a knife.) Where’s our sister?

Dantalian: I can help you. I can teach you evil. You’re new at it. You don’t know how to realise its full potential.

Piper: I don’t know, I think we’re getting the hang of it.

Phoebe: Wanna see?

(Phoebe holds the knife closer.)

Piper: Where’s Prue?

Dantalian: Kill me and you’ll never see her again.

Piper: Hmm, so maybe we should just torture you instead.

(Piper stands on Dantalian’s arm and turns her hand into ice. Dantalian screams.)

Phoebe: Why don’t you just shatter her hand and see what happens.

(Piper picks up a candlestick.)

Piper: Last chance. Fine.

(Piper smashes her hand with the candlestick. Dantalian screams in pain.)

Phoebe: Now the really weird thing is, we could do that to the other hand and then go down to your feet.

Piper: Actually, we could work up, piece by piece all the way to her head.

Phoebe: Where is Prue?

(Leo orbs in.)

Leo: I just couldn’t leave like that, Piper. (Phoebe and Piper turn to Leo. Dantalian grabs the Book and disappears.) What’s going on?

Phoebe: Well, you just helped her escape, that’s what’s going on.

(Piper turns him into ice.)

Piper: Smash him. (Phoebe hands Piper the knife. Phoebe kicks Leo and he smashes into a million little pieces.) Bastard.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Altar. Dantalian is frantically flipping through the Book of Shadows.]

Dantalian: Death alone will not suffice, my dear bride. Not anymore, not after this. (She finds a page in the Book on a Dark Priestess.) Yes! Welcome to my hell.

[Cut to the manor. Piper and Phoebe are walking down the stairs.]

Piper: So what are we supposed to do now?

Phoebe: I don’t know. Kill innocents?

Piper: No, I mean about Prue. How are we supposed to find her without the Book?

Phoebe: Shouldn’t you be mourning the loss of your beloved Leo?

Piper: Oh, Phoebe, I’m serious. That was one pissed off priestess. And if she kills Prue, she takes the evil power of three along with her, and we won’t stand a chance.

Phoebe: Good point. We have to find Prue. Wait a minute, we’re warlocks, right? We should be able to blink wherever we want.

Piper: But we don’t know where to blink to.

Phoebe: We don’t have to know where, just to who. To Prue. I mean, isn’t that how Leo’s orbing power worked?

Piper: Yeah, but his power was jammed. He couldn’t find her.

Phoebe: That’s because he was good, and we’re evil.

[Cut to the altar.]

Dantalian: “Through this book, weave this spell, create the pain of heaven to hell; may she suffer…”

(Piper and Phoebe blink in.)

Piper: Whoa.

Phoebe: Are we there yet? (They see Prue.) Prue.

Dantalian: Too late. I’ve got the book.

Phoebe: Yeah, well, you know, it takes a while to learn how to use it. Trust us.

Piper: How about in the meantime, I freeze your head and shatter it?

(Dantalian chants.)

Dantalian: I may not be powerful enough to fight you yet, but they are.

(Prue and Zile awaken.)

Piper: Whoa, Prue, hey, hi. You don’t look so good.

Phoebe: Oh, but that’s a great dress.

Dantalian: Zile, Prue. Eliminate them.

Piper: Prue, ignore her. Come on, come with us. We’re your sisters.

Prue: I’m his wife, not your sister.

(Prue uses her power on them.)

Piper: Alright, I’ll take that as a no.

Phoebe: Okay, we have to figure out a way to get Prue on our side and fast.

Piper: How about we get her a divorce?

(Zile shape-shifts into Prue. They blink out of the scene and then reappear in different places.)

Dantalian: Don’t want to shatter the wrong sister, now do you?

Prue #1: I love you.

Prue #2: You too.

Piper: Welcome to Planet Narcissus.

Phoebe: Wait a minute. Cole said that evil can’t love.

Piper: Cole?

Phoebe: Uh, never mind. The point is she didn’t say “I love you too”. (Dantalian makes a dagger appear in Prue’s hand. They walk towards Piper and Phoebe. Phoebe points to a Prue.) Uh, she’s the warlock. Freeze her! (Piper turns a Prue into ice.) Well, shatter her. Hurry!

Dantalian: No! Zile!

(Piper kicks the frozen Prue. The spell is broken.)

Prue: What’s going on?

Phoebe: I think we’re back. All of us.

(Piper freezes Dantalian.)

Piper: The book is back too.

Prue: Let’s go do something good with it.

(They walk over to the Book and find a spell.)

Prue, Piper, Phoebe: “Powers of light, magic of right, cast this blight into forever’s night.”

(Dantalian screams and is vanquished.)

Prue: Well, that was a wedding from hell. Although, I guess I was the first to get married after all, hmm?

Piper: Oh, no. Leo.

Prue: What?

Phoebe: We killed him.

[Scene: Manor. Prue, Piper and Phoebe enter the attic. Piper is crying. She kneels on the floor.]

Piper: Oh, Leo. (Leo orbs in. Phoebe turns Piper around. Piper gets up and hugs him.) Oh, thank god you’re okay.

Leo: Actually, it had more to do with what you guys did. Vanquishing Zile broke the bond and reversed all the evil you had done.

Phoebe: I just hope the wedding planners don’t remember what we did to them.

Leo: Unfortunately, they will, but I doubt they’ll believe what happened.

Piper: And unfortunately you will.

Phoebe: Oh, yeah, Leo, sorry we killed you.

Leo: It’s okay, Phoebe, it wasn’t the real you. Or you, Piper.

Prue: Wasn’t it? I mean, on some level it was me. I felt it. They didn’t just plant evil inside of me, or us, for that matter. There had to be something there for them to turn to begin with.

Leo: That doesn’t make you evil, Prue. You have to choose to be evil voluntarily.

Phoebe: Well, I gotta admit it, it was kind of fun.

Piper: Phoebe…

Phoebe: Well, it was fun for a while. I mean, to be able to do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted with no consequences.

Piper: My fianc� being shattered into a gazillion pieces is kind of a consequence.

Leo: Thank you.

Piper: Mm.

Prue: Still, I kinda understand what Phoebe is saying.

(They all walk out of the attic and down the stairs.)

Phoebe: Wait, you do?

Prue: Mmm hmm.

Phoebe: Ooh, am I detecting a thaw in our rift?

Prue: All I’m saying is if evil weren’t enticing, why would there be any? I mean, you know, to pretend that we’re never attracted to it, it’s like pretending that it just doesn’t exist.

Phoebe: Uh-oh, something tells me Cole’s name is about to be brought up.

Prue: Look, I definitely do not like the fact that you lied to us about vanquishing him, but I have to admit, after taking a trip down the dark side, I sort of understand it a little better. The problem now is that I realise that Justin is just so boring.

Leo: Well, scratch one name off of the wedding guest list.

Piper: Actually, scratch them all. I cave. Our lives are just way too bizarre to have any sort of normal wedding. I don’t know what I was thinking. Phoebe, by the way, you never mentioned where you got that premonition from.

Phoebe: What premonition?

Piper: The one that told us about Dantalian. The one that saved our butts.

Phoebe: Right. Um, you know, something tells me that you wouldn’t believe me if I told you anyway. So let’s just say I got in touch with my evil side. Something that I will never do again.

[Scene: Mausoleum. Phoebe walks in. Cole is waiting there.]

Cole: How’d it go?

Phoebe: Everything’s back to normal again.

Cole: Good.

Phoebe: Yeah. Good.

Cole: It’s not enough, is it? What I did doesn’t change your mind about us, does it?

Phoebe: No.

Cole: Why not?

Phoebe: It’s too complicated.

Cole: Oh, don’t give me that. If nothing else, let’s at least be honest with each other. We owe that.

(Phoebe sighs.)

Phoebe: I love you and I will always love you. Nothing can change that. It’s just the temptation, it’s too much. And I can’t take that risk, for me or my sisters.

Cole: Phoebe, I’m telling you, I’m not evil anymore.

Phoebe: Maybe not on the surface and maybe not even in your heart. But somewhere inside of you, you’ll always be. And you can’t ever change that. Goodbye.

(Phoebe starts to leave.)

Cole: I’m not giving up, Phoebe. (Phoebe leaves.) I’m not going away.