Teleplay by: Daniel Cerone and Krista Vernoff
Transcribed by: Shay Fitzpatrick
Season 5, Episode 20
Episode Number: 108
[Scene: Manor. Parlor. Paige is there singing to Wyatt in his bassinet.]
Paige: (singing) “Hush little baby don’t you cry, aunty’s gonna buy you a pumpkin pie. And if that pie doesn’t taste real good, aunty’s gonna buy some other kind of food. (Paige’s date, Nate, stands at the doorway to the parlor.) And if that food doesn’t fill your tummy…”
(Nate claps lightly.)
Nate: He’s a lucky baby.
(Paige walks over to him.)
Paige: Sorry, it’s the only thing I can soothe him now days.
Nate: Why would you be sorry?
Paige: Because normally I don’t like to embarrass myself until the fifth or sixth date. (They sit down on the couch.) Yeah.
Nate: Humiliate? Why? You’ve got a great voice. Better than most of the singers I book at the club.
Paige: Oh, you’re just being sweet. Not that I mind sweet.
Nate: Well, what do you like to sing?
Paige: Uh, something called eighth grade, graduation. I was supposed to sing the school song. Eight hundred people were watching, the band is playing, I get up but no sound comes out of my mouth. I completely froze. To make matters worse, I ran out and missed my own graduation.
Nate: I think the eighth grade sort of sucks for everybody.
Paige: Yeah, mine just kinda sucked publicly. (They kiss.) That was nice, I haven’t had that in a while.
Nate: Had what?
Paige: Well, I like talking to you.
Nate: I like talking to you to.
Paige: And I like kissing you.
Nate: Kissing’s good.
Paige: And I’m kind of nervous.
Nate: Me too.
Paige: I should get you more wine.
Nate: I’ll get it. It’s in the kitchen, right?
(Nate kisses Paige quickly and heads for the kitchen. A Kazi demon appears from behind Paige and grabs her head. Thick veins travel through her head and she moans in pain. She orbs out of his grip and orbs back in across the room.)
Paige: Leo! Piper! Help!
(Leo and Piper orb in wearing evening clothes.)
Piper: What the…
(The Kazi demon heads for Paige and Piper quickly blows him up. The rug catches alight. Paige rushes over and stomps it out.)
Leo: Are you okay?
Paige: Get out! Get out! Nate’s he… (Nate walks into the room carrying a glass of wine.) Here.
Leo: Hey, Nate, buddy, how you doing?
Nate: Good, good, I didn’t here you come in.
Piper: Yeah, how about that. Kinda like magic.
(Piper looks at Paige.)
[Scene: Crone’s Lair. It’s dark. The only source of light is a dozen of lit candles. A burst of fire appears in the room and the Kazi demon appears on the floor. He roars and looks around.]
Kazi: (angrily) What? Where am I?
(He stands up.)
Crone: You’re back from the dead, dear.
Kazi: What? How?
Crone: A simple thank you will suffice.
Kazi: Wait a minute, who are you?
Crone: Let’s not strain your mind with too much information. All I want in exchange for your life, is a meeting with your king.
Kazi: My king? He’ll never agree to it.
Crone: Or I could put you back where I found you. Tell your king that if he works with me, I’ll serve him all three Charmed Ones on a platter.
Kazi: You’re after the Charmed Ones?
Crone: No, dear. I’m after their baby.
[Scene: Manor. Conservatory. There are boards with paper pinned to them. Piper, Phoebe and Wyatt are there. Phoebe is talking on her cell phone. Piper is trying to take photos of Wyatt who is lying on some pillows on the chair.]
Phoebe: Yes, Jason, I’m meeting with the syndication consultants today. But I’ve been doing some preliminary research and we’ve got Ann Landers, Dear Abby, and E. Jean.
Piper: (to Wyatt) Okay, ready?
(She takes the picture. Wyatt doesn’t smile.)
Phoebe: But if Atlanta folds, the south will be mine.
Piper: I bore him.
(Piper makes a face at Wyatt, trying to get him to smile.)
Phoebe: Yeah, well, I don’t care if the south thinks my column is too edgy, okay. I think the south could use a little edge. (Phoebe notices the burnt spot on the carpet from the Kazi vanquish.) (whispers to Piper) What is that? What is that?
Piper: Kazi vanquish.
Phoebe: Another one?
Piper: Paige is on it.
Phoebe: (on phone) Yes, of course I’m excited. Can’t you tell that I’m excited? I just miss you. When are you coming home?
Piper: Okay, mummy’s got one last picture left. Are you ready? Here we go. Smile, smile, smile, one, two, three. (She takes the picture.) Alright, I give up.
(Leo walks in carrying a baby outfit.)
Leo: Hey, big guy, you wanna do the popcorn machine? (Wyatt smiles and laughs. Piper stands up and Leo sits down in her place.) Oh, yes, he does. (Wyatt laughs.) Pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop.
Piper: Yeah, see, now he smiles.
Leo: Okay, let’s get you ready for the fair, okay?
Piper: I’m telling you, it’s not gonna fit. Nothing fits anymore and if he keeps growing at this rate, we’re gonna have to send him off to college by next week.
(Leo holds up the baby outfit.)
Leo: Well, he will in these, I just got them yesterday.
(Leo starts to unbutton Wyatt’s outfit. Wyatt starts to fuss.)
Piper: Are you hurting him?
Leo: No, he’s just hungry.
Piper: Are you sure?
Phoebe: (on phone) Hang on a sec. (She picks up a bottle and hands it to Leo.) (to Piper) That’s his hungry cry.
Piper: People, I am a terrible mother. I am bad at this. I don’t even recognise my own child’s cries.
Leo: It’s a subtle difference.
Piper: Okay, well, what about this maternal bond I hear so much about?
(They hear an explosion coming from the attic.)
Phoebe: (on phone) Jason, I gotta call you back.
[Cut to the attic. Paige is there making a potion. Piper, Phoebe and Leo walk in.]
Piper: Everything okay?
Paige: Better than okay. I am gonna have a love life.
Phoebe: You’re making a love potion?
Paige: No, I’m making a stun potion.
Piper: So, that lovers will be stunned by you?
Paige: No, so Kazis will be stunned by me.
Phoebe: You’re in love with a Kazi demon?
Paige: Try to stay with me, people. I am making a stun potion so that I can maybe have a date that doesn’t end with, “Nate, you gotta leave. I have to clean some demon guts off the ceiling.”
Phoebe: Nate, much cuter than a Kazi demon.
(Paige hands them a vial of potion.)
Paige: The potion you hold in your hand is designed to stun, but not kill Kazis.
Piper: But I so enjoy killing them.
Paige: Yes, but since the Kazi king creates his demon minions out of his own body…
Phoebe: If we get the king, then we get the Kazis.
Piper: But we don’t know where the king is.
Paige: Yes, but that’s why I did the stun potion, so if we capture one of his minions, we can torture him…
Phoebe: Then the king will feel the pain and come in for the rescue.
Piper: Or the minion will break and spill his guts on the whereabouts of the king.
Paige: Okay, the finishing sentence thing, not cute.
Phoebe: We’re just trying to tell you it’s a good plan, an oldie, but a goodie.
(Leo walks in with Wyatt.)
Leo: Okay, let’s go, guys. The fair waits for no witch.
Phoebe: Oh, no, the fair’s today? I have to wor…
Piper: No, you will not finish that sentence. We are going to the fair as a family, you promised.
Phoebe: I know I did, and I really, really wanna go, but the syndication meeting is this afternoon.
Piper: Do you really wanna miss Wyatt’s first street fair? He doesn’t have a lot of firsts left, you know.
Paige: Yeah, he does. He’s got his first date, first bad grade, first backfired spell. Many, many firsts.
Phoebe: I’ll bring my cell phone.
Paige: Bring the potions too, just in case.
Phoebe: Got mine.
[Scene: Crone’s Lair. Crone is there, stirring a large cauldron. The Kazi King appears and roars.]
Kazi King: How dare you summon me here? Do you have any idea who you’re dealing with?
Crone: Save your threats, they bore me. Are you interested in the Charmed Ones, or not?
Kazi King: What exactly do you propose?
Crone: A partnership, but you’ll get all the credit for the kill. The power, glory you’ve been seeking, yes?
Kazi King: And what will you get?
Crone: I’ll get my hands on the child.
Kazi King: There’s a law. Killing that child is punishable by death.
Crone: I know, I wrote the law. And I have no intention of killing him.
Kazi King: Then why?
Crone: I had a vision. A mere taste of the future, of the child, of power like we’ve never known. But I didn’t see enough. I need to know more. (She picks up a monkey totem.) I must lay hands on the child. Which is why I’m going to help you take out the witches.
Kazi King: How?
Crone: With this ancient magic, I can both weaken them and gain their child’s trust.
[Scene: Street Fair. Wyatt is fast asleep in Leo’s arms. Piper videotapes them as they stand in front of a pony.]
Leo: Come on, Wyatt, wake up. Come on. Pony, see, pony. Why don’t you take him over to see the clown?
Piper: No, clowns are scary, and besides, balloons are a no-no for infants.
Leo: Come on, Piper, put the camera away, you’re missing all the fun.
Piper: Taking pictures of him is fun for me. I mean, if you want to talk to someone about missing out, talk to Phoebe.
(Leo turns around and sees Phoebe near by talking on her phone.)
Phoebe: Hi, Elise. No, I’m not on my way yet. (A mime follows Phoebe and copies her moves.) I’m at a fair with my nephew. Well, yeah, of course I’m gonna be at the meeting. (A crowd of people gather around and laugh at Phoebe and the mime.) I will be there, I will be ready, I will be on. Yeah. I know, I know. (Paige walks over to Phoebe holding some cotton candy. She taps her on the shoulder and points to the mime. Phoebe turns around.) You know what? Let me call you back, let me call you back.
(She hangs up.)
Paige: Kinda sad when a mime is making fun of your phone usage. (to the mime) Everyone hates mimes, you do know that, don’t you?
(She gives the cotton candy to the mime and they walk over to Piper and Leo. They stand near a booth where a Capuchin monkey is sitting on top of it.)
Phoebe: Okay, so I have five minutes. Is there a ride I can go on with him real quick?
Paige: Okay, that’s pathetic.
Piper: Phoebe, you are pencilling in rides with your nephew? For crying out loud, it’s Saturday.
Phoebe: I know, but I think I’m gonna be working Saturdays from now on. Do you think I’m happy about this? There are many things I have been in my life. Workaholic is not one of them.
Paige: If you’re not happy with it, why are you doing it?
Phoebe: Who says I’m not happy?
Leo: You just did.
Piper: I blame your very handsome, but very pushy boyfriend.
Phoebe: National syndication is a huge opportunity and yes, it was Jason’s idea, but I agreed to it. And I am happy, I’m really happy. (Her phone rings.) Ohh. (She answers it.) Hello? Yeah, okay. (Suddenly, the monkey sitting on top of the booth, jumps onto Phoebe’s shoulder.) Whoa!
(The monkey touches Phoebe’s ear. It then jumps onto Paige’s shoulder.)
Paige: Don’t like monkeys!
(The monkey touches Paige’s mouth. The crowd laughs and giggles at the monkey. It then jumps on Piper’s shoulder.)
Phoebe: (on phone) Let me call you back. Leo, germs, cover the baby.
(The monkey touches Piper’s eyes and jumps off.)
(Wyatt starts to whimper.)
Leo: I don’t think Wyatt liked mister monkey. Did he scare you? He did, he scared you.
Piper: It’s okay. Is he hungry?
Phoebe: No, that’s his tired cry.
Leo: Yeah, I think he’s just over stimulated. Maybe we should go home.
Piper: Alright, you guys are the experts. Um, why don’t you orb and I’ll go develop this film.
Leo: Okay, we’ll walk you to the car.
(Piper rubs her eyes.)
Piper: I think that stupid monkey got dust in my eye.
Phoebe: Do you hear that ringing?
(Paige clears her throat. They walk away. The monkey on top of the booth disappears.)
[Cut to Crone’s Lair. Crone is there. The monkey appears and jumps onto Crone’s shoulder.]
Crone: All done? (The monkey makes a noise.) Good boy.
(She feeds the monkey a treat and it jumps down from her shoulder. The Kazi King walks out of the shadows.)
Kazi King: It’s time then. I can send my warrior in.
Crone: No, the witches are infected. But the monkey’s curse are designed to punish, so it won’t take their senses until the moment the witches need them the most.
[Scene: The Bay Mirror. A Room. Elise and three other people are sitting at a table. Phoebe walks in.]
Elise: There you are.
Phoebe: Yes, I’m so sorry.
Elise: Uh, Phoebe, this is Mark Roberts with the syndicators.
(Phoebe shakes his hand.)
Elise: Laura Robbins with marketing.
Phoebe: How are you?
Elise: And, uh, Richard Jean our image consultant.
Phoebe: Richard. Hi. (Phoebe sits down.) I’m so glad you guys could make it, thank you so much. Jason tells me you’re the best at what you do and I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
Elise: Glad you could make it.
Phoebe: I’m really sorry. Do you hear that buzzing?
Richard: Well, if I can start. I would just like to dive in with a congratulations, Phoebe. I lo-huh-ove your column. And I also wanna say I’m not only an image consultant but I’m a fan as well.
(Phoebe leans in closer.)
Phoebe: I’m sorry.
Richard: I said I’m a fan.
Phoebe: Oh! That’s sweet, thank you so much. Thank you.
(She rubs her ear.)
Richard: I think you’re beautiful, stylish, approachable. That’s why I don’t want to alter your look to much.
Phoebe: Author a book? Wow! I don’t know if I’m ready for that. You know, one step at a time.
Richard: I’m sorry?
Richard: I’m sorry, sometimes I mumble. I said your look, not your book.
Phoebe: Oh, right, the hook. Yeah, to be honest with you, she has the answers, it’s kind of lame, right? Any ideas?
Richard: Uh, well, I mainly do image.
Laura: Actually, I’m the advertising consultant.
(Phoebe leans in and tries to hear them. Elise touches her shoulder and Phoebe looks at her.)
Elise: (mouths) Are you okay?
(Phoebe freaks out and stands up.)
Phoebe: Uh, I-I’m, I think I’m gonna have to leave because I’m not really feeling too well. (She walks backwards.) So thank you… (Phoebe runs into a picture sitting on a stand.) Um…
[Scene: Piano Bar. A band is playing. Paige is on a date with Nate.]
Nate: You look beautiful.
Paige: You’ve already said that.
Nate: Yeah, but you look crazy beautiful, so it bears repeating.
Paige: Okay, now I’m blushing and my lipstick won’t match my cheeks.
Nate: Well, since you’re already blushing, I have a little bit of surprise for you. But don’t hate me, alright?
Paige: You’re not gonna propose are you?
Paige: In that case, I like surprises.
(Nate clicks his fingers and a man walks over to the microphone on stage.)
Man: Uh, ladies and gentlemen, we have a special treat for you tonight, to make your happy hours just a little happier. Local girl, Paige Matthews, in her debut.
Paige: Are you kidding?
Nate: Come on, I thought you liked surprises.
Paige: This is a bad surprise, bad.
Nate: Eighth grade was a long time ago, Paige. Come on.
(He holds her hand and takes her up to the stage.)
Paige: Uh, yeah, but that turned out to be the worst day of my life. All my friends laughed at me, Bobby Maynard dumped me.
Nate: You dated a guy named Bobby Maynard?
Paige: That is not the point. (She coughs.) Look, I’m already losing my voice. This-this is the sound of panic.
Nate: Look, Paige, you don’t have to sing if you don’t want to. You just strike me as the type of girl who likes to face her fears, not run from them.
(Paige gives in and Nate sits back down. Everyone claps. Paige gets up on stage and whispers something to the pianist. She stands in front of the microphone.)
Paige: This one is for all the Bobby Maynard in the world. (The pianist starts playing.) “Isn’t it…”
(She clears her throat and tries again. Nothing comes out. She has lost her voice. She panics and races out of the room.)
Nate: Paige, wait.
[Scene: Piper’s car. Piper is driving along the road. Her phone rings and she answers it.]
Piper: Paige? (She hears beeping.) Paige, is that you?
(She hears more beeps. She looks down at the phone and her vision starts to go blurry. She drops the phone. She drives the car into the other lane, nearly crashing into the car beside her. Drivers beep their horns. She blinks several times but her vision disappears completely. She runs off the road and smashes into a tree.)
[Scene: Manor. Living Room. Phoebe is there turning the volume up on the TV. She can’t hear a thing. She gives up and turns off the TV. She walks through the house.]
Phoebe: Paige! Piper! If you’re here, I need you to come out into the open and like, flag me down or something, okay? (Paige walks in behind her. Phoebe continues to walk through the house and Paige tries to catch up with her and get her attention.) Hello? Oh, anyone? Hello!
(Phoebe walks into the kitchen. Paige throws her bag at a vase and it smashes. Phoebe doesn’t hear it. Paige orbs out.)
[Cut to the kitchen. Paige orbs in, in front of Phoebe.]
Paige: (mouths) What are you doing?
Phoebe: (yells) I lost my hearing during the biggest of my life! I can’t hear a thing! (Paige motions to Phoebe to quieten down.) What!? I can’t hear you! (Paige motions again to quieten down and points to her ear. Phoebe lowers her voice.) Oh, okay, okay. I need your help. Magic has got to be behind this. (Paige scratches her head and side and acts like a monkey.) What are you doing? Oh, I get it! I get it! Charades! Okay, ya, ya. (Paige acts like a monkey again.) You’re a monkey. (Paige nods.) Okay. You’re a monkey. (Paige gets a ferocious look on her face.) Ooh, you’re an angry monkey. You’re pissed, you’re… PMS monkey? (Paige shakes her head.) No, no, of course not. Okay. (Paige makes an invisible ball with her hands and throws it.) Ball? (She then makes an explosion with her hands.) Fireball! (She acts out the monkey again and the fireball.) A demon monkey stole my hearing! (Paige points to her mouth.) And your voice too? (Paige nods.) Oh, honey!
(They hug. Paige pulls a face.)
[Cut to the conservatory. Leo orbs in with Piper and Wyatt.]
Piper: I don’t understand why you can’t heal my eyes.
Leo: I don’t know, your vision is just gone.
[Cut to the kitchen. Paige hears Piper and Leo’s voices.]
Phoebe: You hear something? (Paige motions talking with her hand.) You hear puppets?
[Cut to the conservatory. Leo helps Piper sit down.]
Leo: I’ll find Phoebe and Paige after I put the baby down.
Piper: Where am I?
Leo: In the conservatory. Just try to stay calm and try not to worry.
[Cut to the kitchen.]
Phoebe: You hear voices, voices.
(Paige pulls Phoebe out of the kitchen.)
[Cut to the conservatory. Phoebe and Paige walk in.]
(Piper gets up and walks straight pass them.)
Piper: I’m so glad you’re hear. (She stands in front of a map on a stand.) I can’t see a thing and I wrapped my car around a pole and…
Piper: I know it sounds crazy but I think it has something to do with that mangy monkey.
Piper: Where are you? (Piper turns around and hits a table.) Ow! Who put that there?
Phoebe: Oh my god, Piper, you’re blind!
(Paige gives Phoebe a look.)
Piper: Yeah, Phoebe, I just said that. Now can we talk about how a monkey could do that?
Phoebe: What did she say?
Piper: What did who say? The monkey? The monkey didn’t say anything. (Paige writes down “How?” on a notepad and shows it to Phoebe.) He covered my eyes and stole my eyesight.
Phoebe: (yells) I think the monkey stole your eyesight when he covered your eyes!
Piper: Ugh, Phoebe, are you listening to me? That’s just what I said. You are acting like you can’t even hear me.
Phoebe: (yells) Oh, Piper, it’s no use. I can’t even hear you. The monkey stole my hearing.
Piper: Oh, he got you too? Which means somebody sent that flea-infested primate after us. We’ve gotta find Paige. (Paige claps.) Why are you clapping? This is not funny.
Phoebe: What’s the matter, Paige?
Piper: Paige? Where’s Paige?
(Piper walks across the room and Phoebe and Paige grab each of her arms. Leo walks in.)
Leo: What’s going on?
(Piper covers her eyes. Paige covers her mouth and Phoebe covers her ears.)
Leo: I see.
Piper: Well, I don’t. Where is Paige?
Leo: Uh, she just can’t talk.
Phoebe: (yells) Excuse me! This is either someone’s sick, sick joke, or someone’s working on a massive evil plan!
Leo: Whatever it is, you guys are in danger without your senses. (Phoebe looks at Leo trying to read his lips.) Piper, you’re the most vulnerable. So I want you to stay next to Wyatt, his force field will protect you.
Leo: Paige, a Kazi attack could be deadly right now. Make sure we’re stocked up on stun potion.
(Paige leads Piper over to the stairs.)
Piper: Where are we going?
Leo: Phoebe, check the Book of Shadows, see what you can find out about evil monkeys and demons who control them. (Phoebe nods her head even though she has no idea what Leo just said.) Come on.
(Paige and Piper reach the stairs and Piper falls flat on her face.)
Piper: Ohh! Paige!
[Scene: Crone’s Lair. Crone and the Kazi King are there.]
Kazi King: First we wait on a monkey and now what? What are we waiting on now?
Crone: You’re waiting on me. Get used to it. Unlike you, I don’t charge in like a wild bull. I prefer to take my time… and succeed.
Kazi King: I say enough time has passed.
Crone: Perhaps. First we need to find out if the monkey’s magic has taken effect. If so, you can send in your warrior while I make my move for the baby.
Kazi King: How do we figure out if the monkey has done his job?
Crone: Common sense.
Kazi King: You dare mock me?
Crone: On occasion, but not at the moment. This totem was created to trap senses, but with my magic I can borrow what’s inside here.
Kazi King: So that’s what this is all about? You want to steal the Charmed Ones’ senses. Why?
Crone: You’d be surprised what you can do with a set of eyes, a pair of ears, a voice. You might even be able to trick an infant into believing you’re one of the family. Now… let’s see that beautiful baby boy.
(Her eyes glow.)
[Cut to the manor. Piper’s Room. Piper is sitting on the bed holding Wyatt. Wyatt whimpers.]
Piper: Okay, little guy, what is it? What is it? Do we need a diaper change? (She checks his diaper.) No, not that. Okay. Um, how about the popcorn machine? That always works for daddy, right, right? Okay, here we go. Pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop. No popping. Okay, forget the popping. Okay, it’s alright. (She hears footsteps.) Hello? Leo?
(Leo walks in.)
Leo: Yeah. Just came to check on you. (He sits on the bed beside her.) How’d you know it was me?
Piper: Well, you shuffle your feet. You’re a shuffler.
Leo: Looks like your other senses are already taking over for your vision.
Piper: Uh-huh. Not fast enough. Okay, tell me what I’m doing wrong here.
Leo: Uh, well, that fussy noise usually means gas. Try putting him over your shoulder.
Piper: Okay. (She positions Wyatt over her shoulder.) Alrighty. Here we go, oh, I know.
Piper: No, not better. I don’t know all his tricks and noises like you guys do. And at least before I could see him.
Leo: Well, the love is there, the rest will follow. You know, it’s just a myth that all mothers instantly bond with their children.
Piper: Well, I’m not worried about all other mothers, I’m worried about this one.
Leo: From where I stand, you look like a pro, he’s already calmed down.
Piper: He has? Oh, he has. Okay, good.
Phoebe’s Voice: Leo! Bring Piper up here, I think we found something!
Piper: Here, take him. (She hands Wyatt to Leo.) I don’t want him left alone for a second while this stuff is going on here, okay?
(Piper makes her way into the hallway and steps on a squeaky toy. She gasps. She bends down and feels around for it. She picks it up and heads for the stairs, passing Crone on the way. Crone takes the monkey totem and it glows, letting her hear what is being said in the attic.)
Phoebe’s Voice: The monkey didn’t come after us on his own. Someone very powerful is behind all of this.
[Cut to the attic. Phoebe and Paige are there. Phoebe is looking through the Book of Shadows.]
Phoebe: The question is who?
(Piper walks in.)
Piper: Hello? Anybody in here? Give me a sign. (Paige bangs on the table.) Alright, speak and spell. Tell me what you two know.
(Piper reaches out to feel where she’s going and knocks some books onto the floor. Phoebe looks up from the book. Piper makes her way through the room and touches Paige. Paige writes ‘News?’ on a notepad and holds it up.)
Phoebe: Oh. Okay, listen to this. “Centuries ago, a sorcerer created a monkey to steal his enemies senses, only the sorcerer mistreated the little fella, so the monkey stole his master’s voice and was turned into a wooden totem as punishment.”
Piper: So this whole monkey business about, you know, speak no evil, hear no evil, see no evil is a real thing?
Phoebe: (yells) What?
Piper: Never mind. Read my lips. Is there anything in here that will get our senses back?
Phoebe: Piper, I can’t hear you!
Piper: Ugh. What do we do?
(Paige writes “Kill Monkey” on a notepad and holds it up.)
Phoebe: (yells) Oh, Paige is proposing violence against the monkey!
Piper: Well, I’m inclined to agree, but I really think the monkey is the least of our worries.
Phoebe: (yells) Yeah, I didn’t hear what you just said but if you were wondering who was behind this I was about to look in the book. (Piper gives her two thumbs up. Phoebe’s cell phone vibrates and she looks at the caller ID.) Oh, no, it’s Elise. Piper, you’re the only one that can talk to her. Tell her I’m sick. (She hands Piper the phone.) Tell her, tell her…
Piper: I got it, I got it, I got it. Okay. (She answers the phone.) Hello? Hi, Elise. Uh, Phoebe? Yeah, she’s here, she’s lying down. (The Kazi demon appears behind Piper and Phoebe.) Um, I don’t know. Inner ear infection maybe? (Paige sees the demon and bangs on the table.) Shh! (on phone) Oh, no, not you.
Paige: (mouths) Phoebe!
Piper: We’ve just got workers banging around here all day. (Phoebe sees the Kazi demon dive towards her and she levitates out of the way. He goes crashing into a table.) What is going on over there?
Phoebe: Kazi demon!
Piper: Gotta go!
(Piper hangs up.)
Phoebe: Three o’clock! Six o’clock! Twelve o’clock!
(Paige grabs a potion off the table. Piper blows up the table beside Paige and sends Paige flying across the room.)
Piper: Did I get him?
(Phoebe grabs Piper’s arms.)
[Cut to Piper’s room. Leo is there reading a book. He hears noises coming from the attic.]
Leo: Wyatt, danger.
(Wyatt’s force field surrounds him. Leo gets up and runs out of the room. Crone walks in.)
[Cut to the attic. The Kazi demon runs across the room. Phoebe points Piper’s hands in the direction of the Kazi and she tries to blow him up. The Kazi jumps over a couch and Piper blows the couch to pieces.]
Piper: How about that time?
(Phoebe walks over to the couch.)
Phoebe: You killed Aunt Pearl’s couch.
Piper: Did I get the Kazi?
Phoebe: I can’t hear you still. (The Kazi demon stands up behind Phoebe and puts his hands on her head. Thick veins run through her face.) Aah!
Piper: Phoebe? What’s happening? Phoebe? Talk to me. (Leo runs in and picks the potion off the floor beside Paige. He throws it at the Kazi demon. The Kazi demon lets go of Phoebe and he falls to the floor, stunned.) Phoebe?
[Cut to Piper’s room. Wyatt is in his bassinet with the force shield surrounding him. Crone is standing beside the bassinet holding the monkey totem.]
Crone: (singing it Paige’s voice): “Hush little baby don’t say a word, mama’s gonna buy you a mocking bird, and if that mocking bird won’t sing…”
[Cut to the attic. Leo is healing Paige.]
Piper: Is she going to be okay?
Leo: I think so.
(Paige wakes up and sits up. Phoebe places five crystals around the Kazi demon to create a crystal cage.)
Phoebe: (yells) Crystal cage is ready!
(The Kazi demon gets up and touches the cage. It shocks him. Piper hears singing.)
Piper: Do you hear that?
Leo: I don’t hear anything.
Piper: It sounds like signing.
(He races out of the room.)
[Cut to Piper’s room.]
Crone: (signing in Paige’s voice) “And if you let this force field down, you’ll still be the best little baby in town.”
(The force field disappears. Crone reaches in the bassinet. Leo races in.)
Leo: Piper! Wyatt, careful…
(Crone zaps Leo and he flies across the room. Wyatt starts to cry and makes his force field appear.)
Phoebe: (upstairs) Leo, what’s going on?
Crone: You’ll pay for that.
(Crone walks over to Leo and disappears with him. Piper, Phoebe and Paige race in. Phoebe goes to the bassinet.)
Piper: Is Wyatt okay?
Phoebe: Wyatt’s okay. (Phoebe looks around.) Where’s Leo?
Piper: Leo? Why isn’t he answering us?
[Scene: Crone’s Lair. Crone and the Kazi King are there. Crone has the monkey totem up to her ear.]
Kazi King: Where’s my warrior?
Kazi King: That’s your fault. You said you would weaken them.
Crone: And I did. However I failed to account for their Whitelighter. But don’t worry, he won’t get in our way again.
(Leo is trapped in a water tank.)
Kazi King: I say we launch another attack now.
Crone: First I need to know the witches aren’t on to me. If they figure out that I want their baby, I’ll never get my hands on him. Now please, let me concentrate.
(She holds the monkey totem up to her ear.)
[Cut to the attic. Piper is sitting on a couch holding Wyatt. Phoebe and Paige clean up the mess in the attic.]
Piper: There you go, is that better? There you go. That’s better. It’s okay, baby. Daddy’ll be home soon.
Phoebe: (yells) You did it! You calmed him down!
Piper: Shh! Phoebe. It’s strange after, you know, I lost my vision, I was forced to use my maternal instincts, which is good ’cause I wasn’t really sure I had them. (Paige holds up a notepad with “We’ll find Leo” written on it.) I know.
Phoebe: I’m getting pretty good at reading lips, I think you just said ‘I know’. What do you know?
Piper: That we’ll find Leo.
Phoebe: Okay, that’s weird. How did you know that’s what Paige wrote? I mean, you can’t see it and I didn’t say it, so how did you…
Piper: I’m not sure. I guess maybe we’re developing some sort of sixth sense. It’s what it must be, right?
Phoebe: Well, whatever it is, we gotta use it to help find Leo. (to Paige) Start the interrogation.
(Paige heads over to the Kazi demon. Piper stands up with Wyatt.)
Piper: We will be in the nursery.
Phoebe: Are you gonna be okay to get down the stairs?
Piper: Oh, yeah. I’m getting the hang of this blind stuff. Besides, I grew up in this house.
(Piper makes her way out of the attic. Paige holds up the notepad in front of the Kazi. It reads “Where’s our Whitelighter”. The Kazi doesn’t answer and Paige throws a tiny crystal at the cage. It shocks the Kazi and he yells out in pain.)
Phoebe: Wrong answer. (Paige throws another tiny crystal at the cage and shocks him. The doorbell rings. Paige goes over to the window.) Is somebody here? (Paige looks out the window and sees Nate waiting on the porch. Paige walks back over to Phoebe and mouths the word “Nate”.) Nate is here? (Paige nods. She shoo’s Phoebe.) You want me to get rid of him? (Paige nods.) I can’t do that, Paige. I mean, first of all, I’m not the best listener right now and second of all, he’s your boyfriend. (Paige puts her hands together and begs. She then pretends to hold a microphone and sings. She then promptly waves her hand in front of her mouth.) You lost your voice when you were singing? With hi… Wait, how could that be? You were with him at his… (Paige pretends to play the piano.) Piano bar. (Paige nods.) You lost your voice when you were on stage singing, because he wanted you to sing for him. Oh, that is so romantic! And humiliating. Yeah, I see your point. (The doorbell rings again.) Okay, I’ll go deal with him but you owe me one.
(Phoebe leaves the attic.)
[Cut to the foyer. Phoebe opens the door to reveal Nate there holding a bunch of flowers.]
Nate: Oh, hey, Phoebe, is Paige here?
Phoebe: (yells) Paige isn’t home.
(He turns to look at the driveway.)
Nate: I saw her car in the driveway.
(Phoebe taps him on the shoulder and he faces Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Can you repeat that? Just slowly.
Nate: Yeah, I said I saw her car in the driveway.
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, her car. Uh, see what I meant to say is that she just can’t talk right now.
Nate: Right, yeah, that’s my fault. I tried to show her off at the club, I mean, she’s got such a good singing voice, and I thought maybe I could help her get over her fear… (Phoebe leans in and tries to read his lips.) Why are you looking at my mouth?
Nate: Have I got something in my teeth?
Phoebe: Okay, look, um, I got a little swimmer’s ear going on. Yeah, fell asleep in the tub last night. So I’m not really getting a lot of this but I did get the part about your teeth, and they’re very nice. White.
Nate: I just wanna say I’m sorry. If I could just speak to her for a second, maybe I could clear this up.
Phoebe: Not a word. Not a word. (She takes the flowers.) Um, I’ll tell her you came by and I’ll have her call you, okay?
Phoebe: Goodbye, Nate.
(Phoebe closes the door.)
[Cut to the attic. Phoebe walks in.]
Phoebe: Okay, I would pretty much do anything for my sisters, but making me do that was plain mean, Paige. (Paige holds up the notepad that reads “Kazi’s are tough to crack”.) Yeah, don’t try to change the subject, Paige. Here’s your flowers from Nate, (Phoebe throws them on the couch) and personally, if you ask me, I think that Nate deserves more. (Paige holds up the notepad and it reads “Where’s our Whitelighter?”.) Hey, do you ever think that maybe your Kazi buddy here can’t read?
Kazi Demon: I tried to tell her that.
Phoebe: He did? (Paige writes “Demons lie” on the notepad.) Yeah, but not about literacy. Kazi warriors are base-level demons. Where’s our Whitelighter?
Kazi Demon: I don’t know.
(Paige points to “Demons lie” on her notepad.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, we’ll see. Who sent you?
(No answer. Paige goes to throw another tiny crystal.)
Kazi Demon: Wait, wait! Hold on a minute, please, I’ll tell you. It was the Crone.
Phoebe: The Crone? The Crone sent you?
Kazi Demon: Yeah.
Phoebe: Check the book, see what you can find out about the Crone. (Paige hands Phoebe the tiny crystals and heads over to the book.) What does the Crone want with us?
Kazi Demon: If I tell you that she’ll kill me.
(Phoebe throws a small crystal at the cage. He yells in pain.)
[Cut to Crone’s Lair. Crone is listening in on their conversation through the monkey totem.]
Kazi King: My warrior’s suffering. I can feel his pain. He needs my help.
Crone: He needs a muzzle. He just gave them my name. If he tells the Charmed Ones my plan, I’ll never get my hands on that baby.
(The Kazi King falls to his knees and groans in pain.)
Kazi King: He wouldn’t have a chance to tell them anything if we would just attack. They’re torturing him again!
Crone: Very well. I’ll spare your warrior anymore suffering. Along with you.
(She throws a fireball at the Kazi King and vanquishes him.)
[Cut to the attic. The Kazi demon is vanquished.]
Phoebe: Okay, I didn’t do that. Someone else did that, I did not do that. Did you find anything in the book? (Paige points to a page on the Crone.) Yeah, the Crone, that’s what I was afraid of. Is there a vanquishing potion for her? (Paige points to the writing on the page.) Good. Okay, let’s hit the kitchen. We’ve gotta be prepared for anything. (Paige writes “Piper?” on the notebook.) She’s okay, she’s with Wyatt. His force field will protect her. Come on.
[Cut to Piper’s room. Piper is there holding Wyatt. Crone appears in the room and walks over to Piper.]
Piper: Who’s there?
Crone: (Paige’s voice) Leo found the monkey totem, and I got my voice back.
Piper: Oh my god, where is he?
Crone: (Paige’s voice) In the kitchen with Phoebe. They’re working on the potion to vanquish the Kazi King. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of Wyatt.
Piper: Okay. (She puts Wyatt in his bassinet.) Okay. Be right back. (Piper walks past Crone.) Whoa. What’s that smell? It’s like charcoal.
Crone: Burnt Kazi flesh. We just vanquished his warrior.
Piper: Oh, that must be it.
(Piper leaves the room. The force field surrounds Wyatt.)
Crone: (Paige’s voice) There, there, now, Wyatt. Don’t be afraid. I just wanna hold you. “Hush little baby, don’t say a word, mama’s gonna buy you a mocking bird.”
[Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Phoebe and Paige are there working on a potion. Piper makes her way in.]
Piper: Okay, let’s go, people, mama wants to see again.
(Paige taps Phoebe and points at Piper.)
Phoebe: (yells) Piper! (Piper nearly jumps out of her skin.) We think the Crone is behind this so we’re making a vanquishing potion so we can get her!
Piper: Phoebe, I am blind, not deaf. And Paige said we were going after the Kazi King.
Phoebe: What’d she say?
Piper: Leo? Is that you? (Paige walks over and takes Piper’s hands. She puts Piper’s hands on her head and shoulder.) Paige? But you’re supposed to be watching Wyatt and you said Leo had come back. (Paige puts Piper’s hands on her head and she shakes her head.) Oh my god.
(Piper leaves the kitchen and Paige follows. Paige motions for Phoebe to follow. Phoebe grabs the potion and follows behind.)
[Cut to Piper’s room.]
Crone: (Paige’s voice) “Mama’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” That’s my sweet boy. You’re safe now.
(The force field disappears and Crone picks Wyatt up. Piper, Phoebe and Paige walk in.)
Piper: Hands off, hag.
Crone: (in Paige’s voice) Wyatt, help, we’re in danger.
(The force field surrounds Wyatt and Crone.)
Piper: What’s going on?
Phoebe: His force field is protecting her.
Piper: If you hurt him I will kill you!
(Crone places her hand on Wyatt’s forehead and a red light shines around her hand.)
Phoebe: What is she doing to him?
Piper: Paige, can you orb him to you?
(Paige mouths “Wyatt” and nothing happens.)
Phoebe: She can’t.
Piper: I know.
Phoebe: Should we, uh…
Piper: I don’t know, try it.
(Piper and Phoebe touch Paige.)
Piper, Phoebe: Wyatt.
(Wyatt orbs into Paige’s arms.)
Crone: I’ve seen everything. Such power. Such power!
Piper: You wanna see real power, lady? (Phoebe throws the potion at Crone. She bursts into flames and is vanquished.) I can see! I can see! (to Wyatt) Hi!
(She takes Wyatt from Paige.)
Phoebe: I can hear. Paige?
Paige: Can I just say…
Paige: Anything. Damn, it’s good to hear me speak.
Phoebe: Okay, so we’re all good.
Piper: What about Leo?
Phoebe: Oh, no, did I kill the hag too soon?
Piper: Oh, if she hurt him, you know I’m gonna have to revive her and kill her again.
Paige: Hurry, see if you can get a premonition off the smudge mark.
(Phoebe goes over and touches the smudge mark on the carpet.)
Piper: (to Wyatt) It’s okay, honey, we’ll find daddy, you know, sooner or later.
(Suddenly, Piper and Wyatt orb out.)
Paige: What just happened? How did she…
Phoebe: Because my nephew is a genius. Takes after me.
[Cut to Crone’s Lair. Piper and Wyatt orb in. Leo yells.]
Piper: Oh, god. (Piper blows up the tank and Leo falls out. He coughs.) Are you okay?
Leo: The Crone.
Leo: And you can see?
Piper: Yeah. It was strange, like when it mattered most, we could almost read each other’s minds.
Leo: Yeah, it’s always been there.
Piper: We never noticed before.
Leo: Maybe not consciously, but it’s always been apart of what’s made the power of three so strong.
Piper: Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner.
Leo: It was awful, I couldn’t orb.
Piper: But guess who could. Apparently he sensed his daddy in need.
Leo: He sensed me and he orbed?
Piper: Yeah, he’s coming into his powers really, really fast.
Leo: You nervous?
Piper: A little. You know, a lot.
Leo: Well, he’s gonna be fine. We all are.
Piper: I know.
(They orb out.)
[Scene: Manor. Conservatory. Phoebe’s there taking down the posters pinned to the boards. Piper walks in.]
Piper: Hmm, not going so good? National syndication’s a big deal.
Phoebe: Yeah, that’s what Jason said when he told me. And Elise and all the other reporters. And I was so busy listening to all them, I didn’t ask myself what I wanted.
Piper: Which would be what?
Phoebe: To spend time with my family.
Piper: Yay! Oh, sorry, go ahead.
Phoebe: To ride rides with my nephew and to not be one of those annoying cell phone people that the mimes make fun of.
Piper: So what are you gonna tell Jason?
Phoebe: Mm, I’m gonna tell him exactly what I just told you. And as my boss he’s not gonna like it. But as my boyfriend, there are ways of bringing him around.
Piper: You do have ways.
[Scene: Piano Bar. Paige is standing on stage in front of the microphone.]
Paige: I was supposed to sing a song for Bobby Maynard but he didn’t inspire me much. So, Nate Parks… (Nate, sitting at the bar, turns around.) This one’s for you. (The band starts playing.) “Never know how much I love you / Never know how much I care / When you put your arms around me / I get a fever that’s so hard to bear / You give me fever / When you kiss me fever when you hold me tight / Fever / In the morning / Fever all through the night / Now you’ve listened to my story / Here’s the point that I’ve made / Fever / Do you sizzle / What a lovely way to burn / What a lovely way to burn / What a lovely way to burn / What a lovely way to burn.”