Written by: Krista Vernoff
Transcribed by: Shay Fitzpatrick
Season 6, Episode 21
Episode Number: 132
[Scene: Underworld. “Witch Wars” studio. The “Witch Wars” logo flashes up on the TV screen and still images of Piper, Phoebe and Paige.]
Corr: (voice over) Welcome back to Witch Wars. Tonight on a very special episode, you’ll see the ultimate battle when the Gamemasters themselves take on, not just any witches, but the legendary Charmed Ones.
(Corr shimmers into the studio and faces the camera.)
Corr: It’ll be winner takes all, and we will take all. Their lives, their powers, and last but not least, their progeny.
(“12 hours earlier” shows up on the screen in flaming letters.)
[Scene: Magic School. Great Hall. Phoebe and Paige are sitting at a table. Piper and Chris walk in.]
Piper: Sorry I’m late. I’m not moving real fast these days. Are you sure you don’t want to be born anytime soon already?
Chris: Don’t be in such a hurry.
Phoebe: Okay, I hate to rush things, but what do we say we get this family meeting started, huh?
Piper: You know, you could cut back on those triple lattes a little bit.
Paige: Hey, where’s Leo?
Gideon: He’s on the witch killer path, which you all should be focusing on as well.
Phoebe: We actually have bigger things to deal with, Gideon. Like trying to figure out who’s after Wyatt. And I think I might have an angle on that.
Paige: You found the demon?
Phoebe: It may not be a demon. Look, we’ve relied on magic all this time and it’s gotten us nowhere. And since I can’t rely on my premonitions to help, I’ve had to resort to statistics.
Phoebe: Yes. Did you know that fifty percent of violent crimes are perpetrated by someone the victim knew. So don’t you see? Whoever turns Wyatt evil might actually be someone we know or even care about.
Gideon: A mortal? Impossible.
Phoebe: Really? Because the crime reporter at the newspaper said that it’s usually someone you least expect.
Piper: Alright, now you’re making me nervous.
Gideon: Phoebe. (He slams a book shut.) This theory might make some sense in the lives of normal people but you aren’t normal people. There’s an entire underworld of demons out there who want you dead and today is no exception, which brings me back to the witch killer.
Chris: Hold on. Phoebe’s onto something here. I mean, we’ve practically over turned every demonic stone, right? I mean, at least this is something new.
Gideon: I don’t believe this. Someone is killing witches, possibly as we speak. How is that not your only priority?
Chris: Because we’re running out of time, that’s why.
Piper: What do you mean? Why?
Chris: I should’ve told you sooner.
Paige: Told us what?
Chris: What happens to Wyatt happens before I’m born.
Phoebe: And you’re just telling us this now?
Chris: I thought I’d given myself enough time. I’m so sorry.
Gideon: Then how do we know that this witch killer isn’t the one that’s after Wyatt? Given this new information it seems to time out properly.
Phoebe: Okay, it’s time to divide and conquer. Paige and Chris, you help Leo with the witch killer, I’m gonna go chase my theory. And Piper, you don’t worry. We’re gonna find this guy, I promise.
[Cut to Gideon’s Office. Sigmund is there polishing a crystal ball. Gideon walks in and slams the door shut.]
Sigmund: Is something wrong, sir?
Gideon: Yes, as a matter of fact, there is. I think they’re just about to figure us out.
[Scene: Manor. Attic. Paige, Chris and a demon are there. The demon is laying on the floor surround by five crystals. The crystals are zapping him and he is screaming.]
Demon: What’d I ever do to you?
(Paige picks up one of the crystals and the zapping stops.)
Chris: You’re sure he’s a demon, right?
Demon: Does that give you the right to commit unprovoked act of violence against me?
(Paige puts the crystal back down and zaps him again. She picks it back up.)
Paige: Tell us everything you know about the witches that were murdered.
Demon: I don’t know anything, I swear. (Paige puts the crystal back down and zaps him again. He screams. She picks it back up.) Oh, the witches. The one last night, she put on a great show, she shot fire from her hands, and-and she put up a great fight.
(Paige throws a potion at him and vanquishes him.)
Chris: Why did you just do that? He was just starting to talk.
Paige: He was lying. A) There was no witch murdered last night and B)…
(Leo orbs in.)
Leo: Another witch was killed last night.
Chris: You were saying?
Paige: Okay, that’s just a coincidence. There’s no way he could’ve been there to see that.
Chris: Did she have power to shoot fire out of her hands?
Leo: Yeah. How did you know?
Chris: More to the point, how did he know?
Chris: Maybe he was working for an upper level demon.
Paige: Alright, we just happen to trap the apprentice to the exact demon that we’re trying to catch and know nothing about.
Leo: What are we talking about?
Chris: Oh, the fact that Paige just vanquished our lucky break.
Paige: You don’t know that.
Leo: What do we know?
Paige: Well, we know that one demon can’t possibly be doing all of these killings, so I’m thinking that someone is getting demons to join forces.
Leo: So you think somebody is trying to organise the underworld?
Paige: Seems like it. And unfortunately, I seem to be the only person that is concerned about the fact that Phoebe is out there roaming around the world without any powers.
Chris: Without her active powers. She can still cast spells.
Paige: Great. So when the demon attacks her, let’s hope that Phoebe can come up with a little rhyme just in time. No, no, no. I’m gonna go bring her some potions.
Chris: What should we do?
Paige: Pray that she doesn’t get attacked.
[Scene: Witch Wars studio. Corr, Clea and an upper-level demon are there.]
Upper-Level Demon: And what do I get out of it?
Corr: Fame, glory, the respect of the entire underworld and of course, the powers of the witch you kill.
Clea: If you win.
Upper-Level Demon: If I play, I’ll win.
Corr: A demon of your considerable power we have no doubt. As long as it’s entertaining.
Upper-Level Demon: Just out of curiosity, how did you come up with the idea, anyway?
Clea: Well, we can’t take all the credit. You’d think demons would’ve invented reality television, but somehow humans beat us to it.
Corr: Still, it’s the best idea we ever stole. And demons everywhere love to watch. So if you’re ready to play just draw your blood and sign on the dotted line.
(He picks up a sheet of paper and a knife.)
Upper-Level Demon: Draw my blood? Why?
Corr: So that your powers, should you for any reason lose, will revert to us.
Upper-Level Demon: My powers? You’ve gotta be kidding me. There’s no way I’m signing…
Corr: I’m sorry, I thought you were planning to win.
Clea: And if you don’t, you’ll be dead, so you won’t need your powers anyway.
Upper-Level Demon: But it doesn’t mean I want you to have them. It’s quite a racket you got going on here. Get all these guys to sign their powers over to you and risk their lives all for the chance to kill some stupid witch.
(He starts to leave.)
Corr: The witch is not the point, the point is fame. The point is…
Upper-Level Demon: Fortune, yeah, I got it. That may work on the silly morons you have playing this game so far, but it won’t work on me.
(He shimmers out.)
Clea: If we don’t get an upper-level demon to play, we will never collect the powers we need.
Corr: We just have to be patient. As the game gains in popularity, more and more powerful demons will want to play.
Clea: How do you know?
Corr: Because if human beings are foaming at the mouth to humiliate themselves on national television, and they are, then demons are an easy mark.
Clea: Upper-level humans?
(He pulls her closer to him.)
Corr: Donald Trump has his own show. Just be patient, my love, and together we’ll rule the underworld.
Voice: It’s an old goal, but a good one. (A fireball appears in Corr’s hand.) Disarm, and I will reveal myself.
(The fireball disappears. Gideon appears sitting in a chair near by.)
Corr: What is that, an Elder?
Clea: Kill him.
Gideon: What I have to offer is far better than anything my death will ever bring you.
[Scene: The Bay Mirror. Phoebe walks up to the crime reporter, Kyle.]
Phoebe: Hi, I’m sorry to bother you again. You seem super busy. You’re always super busy.
Kyle: That’s why I chose crime beat. So many bad guys, I knew I’d never be out of work.
Phoebe: That’s funny. You are funny. Um, thanks for those statistics yesterday, they really helped me a lot.
Kyle: Are you flirting with me?
Kyle: Because when a woman who looks like you flirts with me, it generally means they want something.
Phoebe: Okay, yeah, you got me. Um, I’m interested in dedicating a month of my column to the protection of our children and I was sort of wondering, you know, if something, god forbid, were to happen to my nephew Wyatt, what do you think the police might do to to try to figure out who did it?
Kyle: They’d make a flow chart.
Phoebe: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, a what?
Kyle: You do realise that I’m on a deadline here, right?
Phoebe: Should I go back to the flirting?
Crime Reporter: I guess I could use some coffee.
Phoebe: That’s great. You are great. I’m buying. (She sees Paige orb into her office.) Oh my god.
Phoebe: You gotta just give me one second. (Phoebe races into her office and closes the blinds.) Have you lost your mind?
Paige: No. Another witch was killed last night.
Phoebe: Oh, no.
Paige: Oh, yes. And she had active powers. So I need you to go home where I can keep an eye on you.
Phoebe: Paige, you’re my baby sister, not my baby sitter.
Paige: Oh, that’s clever, you’re very clever. And I’m glad that while I’m panicking, you have the time to be clever.
Phoebe: Okay, it’s very sweet that you’re worried about me, but I am fine, and I have a lot of work to do here.
Paige: Great. Do your work from home.
Phoebe: I can’t do it from home because Kyle Donie is not at home.
Paige: Who is Kyle Donie? Is this about a guy?
Phoebe: No, it’s not about a guy. It’s about a reporter, one who knows everything there is to know about crime and criminal investigation, and since we don’t have Darryl’s help anymore, he’s the only resource we have.
Paige: Fine. (She hands her bottles of potions.) Explosive, acid, smoke bomb. Use them.
Phoebe: Thanks, mum. (Paige orbs out. Phoebe walks out of her office and back over to Kyle.) Okay, where were we?
Kyle: Oh, uh, you were flirting with me poorly, and I was helping you find your bad guy.
[Scene: Witch Wars studio. Gideon, Corr and Clea are there.]
Gideon: If I can find you through my demonic contacts, then how long do you think it’ll be before the Charmed Ones find you and shut you down. They already know about the witch killings, so it’s really only a matter of time.
Clea: And you’re here to warn us?
Gideon: No, I’m here to help you.
Corr: Now, why don’t I believe that?
Gideon: I need the Charmed Ones distracted for a while whilst I accomplish an important mission. I thought your game might be the perfect thing.
Corr: You want us to target the Charmed Ones?
Gideon: No, I want you to use them, make them your next stunt if you will. We’ll plant a witch in their care, have her be the next target in your game. You’re contestants will have to get past them to get to her.
Clea: Get past the Power of Three? That’s a suicide mission, no one will sign up.
Gideon: The Power of Three isn’t a factor at the moment because Piper is convalescing at my school for the duration of her pregnancy.
Corr: It would draw upper-level demons.
Clea: I don’t trust him. Why would an Elder wanna sacrifice an innocent witch and put the Charmed Ones in danger?
Gideon: I don’t, and that’s part of the deal. There will be no blood drawn. You will set up a series of tasks, have the demons, oh, I don’t know, steal something from the witch to begin with, let it escalate from there.
Clea: Steal something?
Gideon: If you kill innocents or in anyway harm Charmed Ones, then your game will be over and you will be dead. Understand?
Clea: We don’t take kindly to threats, Elder.
Corr: Or, um, how would we put the witch target into their care or say, put them under surveillance?
Gideon: Get the contestants ready. Put a witch under non-lethal attack, and I’ll take care of the rest. The cameras? (Corr picks up a box with five black crystals in it. Gideon picks up a crystal and his face shows up on a screen.) Clever.
Gideon: Don’t disappoint me.
(Gideon takes the box and orbs out. Clea hits Corr on the arm.)
Clea: What’s the matter with you? Why do you trust him?
Corr: I don’t. But with all the powers that we’ll get from the demons who sign up, we’ll have more than enough to kill him when the time comes. As well as the Charmed Ones.
(Clea giggles and they kiss.)
[Scene: Manor. Parlor. Leo and Chris are there. Chris is looking through the Book of Shadows.]
Leo: So what is it we’re looking for?
Chris: Uh, any demon that can be powerful enough to be organising the underworld or any demon who might be running some sort of training camp for younger demons or any demon who could be…
Leo: So basically any demon.
Chris: Yeah. This sucks, you know that? We’re running out of time here and we’ve got nothing, repeat nothing, to go on.
Leo: We’ve faced worse.
Chris: What’s worse than not knowing? For over a year now I’ve been looking and you didn’t know this deadline was looming but I did. I knew every single day. That’s why I was never able to relax.
Leo: Why didn’t you tell us?
Chris: Because I didn’t want to get you involved. I was trying to protect you.
Leo: Chris, we’re your parents, we’re supposed to protect you, not the other way around.
(Paige orbs in.)
Paige: Hey. I got a new scrying crystal. Amethyst. I thought we could use the extra power boost.
Leo: What exactly are we scrying for?
Paige: Witches under attack. I don’t want anymore of them getting killed, and that includes my sister who is now determined to stay at the office, ever since your son dropped his little bomb this morning.
Chris: I already said I was sorry.
Leo: And he shouldn’t have to say it again.
Paige: Alright, dad.
(Gideon orbs in.)
Leo: Gideon, what are you doing here? Is Piper okay?
Gideon: Hardly. Thanks to Phoebe’s ludicrous new theory, everybody’s now a suspect in her mind. She’s terrorising the entire school.
Leo: So you want me to talk to her?
Gideon: I’d be eternally grateful. (Leo orbs out. Gideon sees Paige scrying.) What are you scrying for?
Paige: Witches under attack. (Gideon waves his hand without them seeing and the crystal immediately points to a place on the map.) Ooh. Caught one. In the mission.
Gideon: You should both go. Hurry.
(Paige and Chris orb out. Gideon holds out his hands and the box with the crystal cameras appears. The lid opens and with a wave of his hand three of the crystals fly up into the corner of the walls and disappear out of sight.)
[Scene: Alley. A witch is being attacked by a demon. She swings a pipe several times at the demon but misses.]
(A mattress near by morphs into another demon.)
Shapeshifter: Not what you were hoping for?
(The witch hits the Shapeshifter with the pipe, knocking him to the ground. Paige and Chris orb in. Paige throws a potion at demon #1 and vanquishes him. Another demon shimmers in behind the witch and rips her necklace off from around her neck.)
Demon #3: Got it.
(He shimmers out.)
Shapeshifter: Damn it.
(Shapeshifter shimmers out. Paige and Chris help the witch up.)
Chris: What the hell just happened?
Paige: I don’t know.
Witch: Who are you?
Paige: Um, I’m a Charmed One. Come on, I’ll take you somewhere safe.
(They orb out.)
[Cut to the Manor. They orb in.]
Tali: Where are we?
Paige: It’s okay. You’re gonna be safe here. What’s your name, anyway?
Tali: I’m Tali. How can I ever thank you guys for saving me?
Paige: Okay, I don’t think you need to, because I don’t think we did. I’m not even sure they were after you.
Chris: Yeah, they were after your necklace.
Tali: Oh, my grandmother’s amulet.
Chris: Amulet. Is it magical? Does it have any power?
[Cut to the Witch Wars studio. The scene continues on a TV.]
Tali: No, no, not at all.
Paige: This is all very strange.
Demon #3: Wait, this thing is powerless? Then why did you want us to steal it?
Corr: It got the Charmed Ones involved. didn’t it?
Shapeshifter: So when do we get our shot at them?
Corr: Be patient. This was only round one. (He turns to the camera.) Stay tuned.
[Cut to a Demonic bar. A room full of demons are watching Witch Wars on a TV. The Witch Wars logo shows up on the screen and they all cheer.]
[Scene: Magic School. Piper pushes Wyatt down the hall in his stroller. She sees Mrs. Winterbourne.]
Piper: Mrs. Winterbourne? Hold it right there.
Mrs. Winterbourne: Oh, hi, Wyatt. Hi, Piper.
Piper: Never mind that. I just wanted you to know that Wyatt will not be in your class tomorrow or ever again, for that matter.
Mrs. Winterbourne: Why? Is there a problem?
Piper: A problem? You mean like when Wyatt was playing with that little girl at the play-doh table this morning?
Mrs. Winterbourne: You mean Emily? She’s such a sweet little psychic.
Piper: She stole his dough, right out of his hands, and you did absolutely nothing.
Mrs. Winterbourne: Well, stole’s a little harsh, don’t you think? She’s only two years old.
Piper: No, that’s not the point. (Leo walks in.) What message is this sending to him? That people can just take from him? That people can hurt him? That grown adults will not be there to protect him?
Leo: We need to talk. (to Mrs. Winterbourne) Would you mind taking Wyatt for a stroll just for a minute, please?
Leo: It’s alright, go ahead.
Mrs. Winterbourne: I’ll be right over there.
(She pushes Wyatt down the hall.)
Piper: Are you out of your mind?
Leo: Piper, do you realise you’re driving everybody nuts around here?
Piper: Well, I don’t really care, see I’m trying to protect our son.
Leo: From who? His “Mommy and Me” teacher?
Piper: Hey, how do you not know that she’s the one who’s after him? If Phoebe’s right…
Leo: She’s not.
Piper: How do you know?
Leo: Because why would anybody we know want to turn to Wyatt evil? It just doesn’t make any sense, just like Gideon said.
Piper: How do you know it’s not him? Or us for that matter.
Piper: No, I’m serious. What if he saw what this life did to us, and-and how hard it was and just decided to take the easy way out.
Leo: That’s not what happened.
Piper: How do you know?
Leo: Because Wyatt is surrounded by love. We love him whether we’re together or not. He’s got a brother that risked everything just to save his life. Plus he’s got two aunts who would rather gauge out their own eyes than see anything bad happen to him.
(Piper sighs and hugs Leo.)
Piper: Just promise me we’ll keep him safe.
Leo: I promise.
[Scene: Manor. Attic. Paige, Chris and Tali are there. Chris is flipping through the Book of Shadows while Paige and Tali watch.]
Paige: That-that’s him, the Brute demon.
Chris: Okay. “Upper-level demons with overwhelming physical strength. They work alone, generally crushing skulls of their victims.” You’re lucky he wasn’t after you.
Paige: Okay, this isn’t making sense. Are you sure that that amulet did not have magical powers?
Tali: Positive. It was just a family heirloom.
Chris: Well, do you have anything else of your grandmother’s?
Tali: Her wedding ring. Why?
Paige: That’s a great idea. We can use it to scry for the amulet.
Chris: And find out where the demon went.
(Phoebe walks in.)
Phoebe: Okay, people, heads up. I need your address books, your phone books, basically all your books. Hi, I’m Phoebe.
(She shakes Tali’s hand.)
Paige: This is Tali. She was attacked by three upper-level demons today.
Phoebe: Wow, and you lived to tell about it? Congratulations. (to Paige) Okay, about those books. I’m kind of in a hurry.
Paige: Phoebe, we actually need your help.
Phoebe: How bad was it?
Tali: Well, um, they stole my grandmother’s amulet.
Phoebe: Really? How powerful was it? Could they use it for like, mind control or something?
Tali: Oh, no, it was just decorative.
Tali: Yeah, pretty much.
Phoebe: Hmm. Saving my nephew or kleptomaniac demons. I really need those books, guys.
Phoebe: What? This is important. I’m gonna draw up a police flow chart of everyone in Wyatt’s life who can possibly be a suspect, and I don’t want to forget anybody.
Paige: Fine. My book is in my bedroom.
Chris: Mum’s is down in the kitchen.
Phoebe: Great. I hope you find your amulet. Okay, I’ll be at the office if you need me, but please don’t need me because I really think I’m onto something here.
[Cut to Gideon’s Office. Gideon and Sigmund are watching Witch Wars.]
Gideon: Stubborn little witch! She’s not playing along.
Sigmund: What if she finds us out?
Gideon: She won’t.
Sigmund: How are you going to stop her? (Gideon orbs out.) Thanks for sharing.
[Cut to the Witch Wars studio. Corr and Clea are there. Clea stabs an athame into the table. Gideon orbs in.]
Gideon: Athames. I thought we’d agreed nobody would be hurt.
Corr: The weapons are part of the game. It’s how powers are taken.
Clea: But don’t worry. Only the players’ll be using them on each other.
Gideon: More dead demons? Not a problem for me.
Clea: Hmm. More dead Elders wouldn’t be a problem for us either. What do you want?
Gideon: This whole distraction isn’t working as well as I’d hoped, especially not on Phoebe. She’s meeting with a reporter again, and I won’t have him feeding her any more information.
Corr: You want him dead?
Gideon: No, of course not. I want him out of the way.
Clea: Now how are we supposed to do that without killing him?
Gideon: Be creative. Plant more cameras. Make him part of the game. Use the Shapeshifter. I like him.
Corr: Still, he is a demon, which means there’s only so much we can control in the risk department.
Gideon: I expect you’ll do your very best.
(Gideon orbs out.)
Clea: Did he just give us an opening?
Corr: He must be more desperate than we thought, which means that maybe he won’t shut us down after the first witch dies.
[Scene: Demonic Bar. Demons are there drinking, playing darts and pool. A male demon sinks the black ball into one of the pool table’s pocket. A female demon stabs the male demon with her pool cue and vanquishes him. She chuckles.]
Female Demon: Next?
(A demon playing darts throws a dart and hits the bullseye.)
Demon: Right, finally. (Witch Wars comes up on the TV screen. The demons cheer.) Witch Wars, yeah!
Demon #2: Witch Wars!
Demon #3: Shh!
(Demon #2 vanquishes Demon #3.)
Demon #2: Nobody shushes me!
Corr: (on TV) You want battles? You thirst for blood? You ain’t seen nothin’ yet. Of course, that warlock won’t be seeing anything ever again, will he? In round two, these three upper-level demons will again have to get past the Charmed Ones to get to the witch. But this time they’re not going after her necklace. They’re going after her life.
[Cut to the Witch Wars studio. The scene continues.]
Corr: Before we get started, let’s introduce our newest contestant. He’s a Darklighter all the way from the northeast underworld. It’s good to have you with us.
Darklighter: Good to be here.
Corr: Now, remember, your athames will absorb the powers of your victims as well as each other. The last demon standing will be awarded all of the powers collected at the end. For the winner, a serious power boost. For the losers, certain death. Oh, one more thing. Since the Shapeshifter failed to get the witch’s amulet at the end of round one, he must now take on the added risk of confronting a Charmed One directly. In this case, Phoebe.
Shapeshifter: Oh, great!
Corr: And the Brute Demon, having won round one by claiming the amulet, has won the rights to make the first move.
Brute Demon: Yeah!
Corr: Now the players will enter the confessional cave to share their strategies with the audience. Let’s watch.
(They leave the room. The Brute Demon shows up on a screen in the room.)
Brute Demon: One of the Charmed Ones is getting ready to scry for the amulet, right? To find me. Good. I’ll be waiting for her, and when I take her out, the witch will be mine.
(The shapeshifter shows up on the screen next.)
Shapeshifter: It’s suicide to go up against a Charmed One. But if I could persuade Phoebe to invite me home with her, she’d be leading me right to the witch.
(The Darklighter shows up on the screen next.)
Darklighter: All’s I gotta do is bide my time, wait for that stupid brute to get himself killed, then make my move.
[Scene: The Bay Mirror. Phoebe and Kyle are there.]
Phoebe: Okay, so we have the immediate family and then close friends of the family. Who’s next?
Kyle: Uh, anyone the child originally came in contact with in the last six months.
Phoebe: Okay, but the child’s been in seclusion for the last six months. So are we talkin’ kids in the nursery and teachers?
Kyle: And his mother’s hairdresser, or your handyman or clergyman.
Phoebe: Ok, let’s just say, hypothetically speaking, that the police are running out of time. And they can’t possibly research everyone the child’s met in the last six months. Who do they focus on then?
Kyle: Immediate family.
Phoebe: They’ve ruled out the immediate family.
Kyle: Okay, I kind of preferred the fake flirting to this.
Phoebe: Yeah, I’m sorry. I just get very emotional when things have to do with my family.
Kyle: Well, that’s why the cops usually do this part and not the parents, or the aunt.
Phoebe: Okay, so what would the cops do next?
Kyle: Phoebe, it sounds to me like you’re looking for some kind of magic formula, and there just isn’t one.
(The Shapeshifter peeks around the corner near by.)
Phoebe: Well, can’t you just narrow it down a little bit?
Kyle: Uh, statistically, when it’s not a crime of necessity, you’re looking at white men between the ages of twenty-five and fifty, usually someone you least expect, maybe even trust. Think on that. I’ll get coffee.
(Kyle walks into another room where the Shapeshifter knocks him out. He shapeshifts into Kyle and walks into the room.)
Shapeshifter/Kyle: Making any progress?
Phoebe: No, not yet. I thought you were getting coffee.
Shapeshifter/Kyle: I changed my mind. If I have caffeine this late, I can’t sleep.
Phoebe: Well, I’m not gonna sleep until I figure this out.
[Scene: Manor. Leo orbs in at the bottom of the stairs. Chris walks down the stairs.]
Leo: Hey, how’s it going here?
Chris: Paige and Tali went to get her grandmother’s ring. How’s mum doing?
Leo: She’s scared. She’s holding up.
Chris: And how are you doing?
Leo: About the same.
(Paige and Tali orb in.)
Paige: Got it.
Tali: So what are you planning to do when you find them? I mean, could this be some kind of trap?
Paige: Honey, it could always be some kind of a trap.
(Paige starts scrying for the Brute Demon.)
Leo: Which is why you shouldn’t go alone.
Chris: He’s right, Paige. If these are the witch killers…
(The crystal points to a spot on the map.)
Paige: Got it.
Tali: Why don’t you guys both go with her? I mean, if they wanted to kill me, they would have done it when they had the chance. Right?
Paige: No, I’m sorry. Can’t leave you unprotected.
Chris: I’ll stay.
Paige: (to Leo) Come on.
[Cut to a warehouse. The Brute Demon is there.]
Brute Demon: Lambs to the slaughter.
(The Brute Demon lays Tali’s necklace on the ground, then hides out of sight. Paige and Leo orb in. Paige sees the necklace.)
Paige: Okay, that looks like a trap.
Leo: Let’s get outta here.
(The Brute Demon jumps in front of them and attacks Leo. Leo knocks him to the ground. The Brute Demon drops a red crystal. Paige throws a potion at him and vanquishes him.)
[Cut to the Demon Bar. The crowd groan.]
Demon: Told you he’d eat it.
Bald Demon: That’s gonna leave a mark.
[Cut to the warehouse. The red crystal is projecting the Witch Wars show on the wall.]
Leo: What’s that?
Paige: That’s us.
(The projection cuts to Chris and Tali in the living room.)
Chris: (in projection) We’ve got to get going. Is there any place we can go…
Paige: Okay, what’s going on?
(In the projection, a darklighter appears in the living room and shoots Chris with his crossbow.)
(Leo orbs out. Paige picks up the red crystal and Tali’s necklace and orbs out.)
[Cut to the manor. Paige and Leo orb in. The darklighter is standing there carrying a dead Tali.]
Darklighter: I win. You lose.
[Cut to the Demonic Bar. The crowd cheers.]
[Scene: Manor. Living room. Paige, Leo and Chris are there. Leo heals Chris’s wound.]
Chris: I am so sorry. I didn’t even see him coming.
Paige: It’s okay, it’s not your fault. We’re being watched.
Paige: Sons of bitches. Where are the cameras?
Chris: What cameras?
Leo: There’s some kind of live feed going on in the crystals.
Paige: Yeah, except for I think they cut it off. I’m not seeing anything.
Chris: Well, who?
Paige: I don’t know. I vanquished the Brute Demon before I could ask him. What is this, some kind of game?
Chris: Actually, it might be.
Leo: What are you talking about?
Chris: Well, I heard something when I was down in the underworld. But I thought it was just a rumour.
Paige: You thought what was a rumour?
Chris: Well, that there was this demonic game show. Kind of like Survivor, but only for demons.
Paige: And you didn’t tell us this why?
Chris: Because I didn’t think it was relevant.
Paige: Okay, that’s your theme song of today. Did you notice?
Paige: Look, I’m sorry. Well, at least it explains how the demon we trapped today knew that the witch died. He was watching it on TV. Pretty sick.
Leo: No sicker than any other reality tv show. (Paige and Chris give him a look.) I’m just saying.
Chris: Except this one’s about killing witches for entertainment.
Paige: Yeah. We have to get out of here. Because they are listening to us. We’re gonna find you.
[Cut to the Witch Wars studio. Corr and Clea are watching them on a TV.]
Clea: We need more powers, fast.
Corr: Don’t worry. Cue the confessional.
(Corr walks into the confessional room. The darklighter is there talking into the camera.)
Darklighter: One demon down, one to go. All I have to do is wait for Phoebe to kill the Shapeshifter. Then I can make my move.
Corr: What if she doesn’t? I mean, why wait? Why not just eliminate the competition yourself?
Darklighter: Good point.
[Scene: The Bay Mirror. Phoebe is talking on her cell phone.]
Phoebe: A Reality what? You have got to be kidding me. Alright, I’ll be home as soon as I can.
Shapeshifter/Kyle: Is something wrong?
Phoebe: Kind of. Listen, thanks. I-I have to get going.
Shapeshifter/Kyle: I was having a really good time.
Phoebe: Well, thanks again for all your help, and maybe we can talk more tomorrow.
Shapeshifter/Kyle: Or since you’re heading home, I could just come with you.
Phoebe: I’m sorry?
Shapeshifter/Kyle: Uh, to check out your place… look for any, you know, easy entry points. I mean, most bad guys usually attack at home.
Phoebe: Are you sure about that? Because I think I’ve heard…
Shapeshifter/Kyle: I’m the expert, right? (Phoebe grabs her purse.) So let me just come home with you, make sure everything is alright.
Phoebe: Yeah. Well, that’s not gonna happen. See, I’m not going home. I, uh… have to go somewhere else. My fam…
(He attacks her.)
Shapeshifter/Kyle: Take me to your house, witch. Now!
(Phoebe hits him in the face and backs away.)
Phoebe: Chris! Leo!
(The shapeshifter moves towards Phoebe. She jumps up and grabs onto the doorframe and kicks him in the chest. The Darklighter appears behind him. The shapeshifter stumbles backwards and the Darklighter holds out an athame, stabbing the shapeshifter in the back. He is vanquished. Chris orbs in.)
(Phoebe picks up the athame the shapeshifter dropped.)
Darklighter: You still alive?
(He shoots his crossbow and Chris orbs out with Phoebe, the arrow missing them.)
[Cut to the Witch Wars studio. Corr is waiting there for the Darklighter to return. The Darklighter appears beside him.]
Darklighter: The witch is dead, and I’m the last demon standing. That’s the game, my friends. That is the game!
Corr: Well, not quite.
Corr: Well, as you know, all good reality tv shows have one final… (Corr stabs the Darklighter in the back and vanquishes him.) Twist. (Clea excitedly runs over to Corr and puts her arm around him.) Now, it’s our turn to play.
[Cut to the Demon Bar. The crowd cheers.]
Bald Demon: Gotta admit. It’s a good twist.
[Scene: Magic School. Piper, Phoebe, Paige, Leo and Chris are sitting around a table flipping through books. Paige finds the athame in her book.]
Paige: Found it. Power-sucking athame.
Paige: Well, and that’s it.
Phoebe: Wait, it doesn’t say anything about what kind of demon uses it or what the WW stands for?
Phoebe: Well, that’s not a big help. Okay, well, we could scry with the athame or the crystal thingie.
Paige: No, I tried.
Phoebe: How about a return to sender spell?
Paige: Tried. Our magic is blocked.
Phoebe: So then, we’ve got nothing.
Paige: Yes, we have nothing but a houseful of cameras, and an underworld full of voyeurs.
Leo: Piper, why don’t you go relax? We can take it from here.
Piper: No. I’m fine. I mean, and relax? Relax where? We’re being watched.
Leo: Not here. Not at magic school they’re not.
Phoebe: Leo’s right. You should go lay down. We’ve got it under control.
[Cut to Gideon’s Office. Gideon and Sigmund are watching them through a crystal ball. They see Piper get to her feet and Leo getting up to help her.]
Piper: You don’t touch me. You’re the reason I look like this.
(Gideon waves his hand and the vision disappears.)
Sigmund: You have to put a stop to this.
Gideon: You’re missing the bigger picture, Sigmund.
Sigmund: Sir, another witch is dead.
Gideon: That wasn’t supposed to happen.
Sigmund: You’re dealing with demons. What did you expect?
Gideon: Sacrifices must be made for the greater good.
Sigmund: How far are you willing to go? Phoebe was nearly killed.
Gideon: No, she wasn’t. She’s strong. She protected herself as I knew she would.
Sigmund: She shouldn’t have had to. They weren’t supposed to go after the Charmed Ones.
Gideon: Yes, they were. That was my plan all along, to get the Gamesmasters to try to kill the Charmed Ones.
Sigmund: But why?
(Gideon walks over to a book shelf and grabs a book.)
Gideon: To get them off my trail! To get them believing that it’s the Gamesmasters who are after Wyatt, as if they’ve been after him all along.
Sigmund: But what if they succeed? What if they kill the sisters?
Gideon: I have no intention of letting that happen. I only want Wyatt eliminated, not them.
(Gideon leaves the room.)
[Cut to the hall. Gideon walks up to the table and shows them a page in the book.]
Gideon: I think I might have found something that can help.
Paige: It’s the crystal thingy.
Gideon: It’s actually an ancient form of magical voyeurism. The ronyx crystal predates even the crystal ball. Our demon friends must have found a way to put a new spin on an old idea.
Phoebe: Wait a minute. It’s got an incantation to activate it. “Mallock cormon alli-tas.”
(Gideon shakes his hand without anyone seeing and the crystal emits a projection of Witch Wars.)
Corr: Welcome back to Witch Wars. Tonight, on a very special episode, you’ll see the ultimate battle, when the Gamemasters themselves take on not just any witches, but the legendary Charmed Ones. It’ll be winner takes all, and we will take all. Their lives, their powers, and last but not least, their progeny.
[Scene: Magic School. Phoebe, Paige, Chris, Leo and Gideon are there.]
Phoebe: That’s what their show is about? Killing us?
Chris: Then either me or Wyatt…
Gideon: It has to be Wyatt, which means… oh, yes. This makes perfect sense.
Paige: What about any of this makes perfect sense?
Gideon: Don’t you see? These Gamesmasters are the demons that you’ve been looking for all along. The ones who are after Wyatt.
Gideon: Think about it. They’ve been collecting powers, hoping to gain enough to be able to collect yours.
Chris: And then get Wyatt’s.
Paige: Well, it kinda fits into Phoebe’s theory then, right? We don’t know who they are. But they know who we are.
Leo: I’m gonna kill them.
Gideon: No, Leo, you’re an Elder now. Non-violent, remember?
Leo: Watch me.
Phoebe: We’re gonna have to find them first. Do you think we could trace the signal back to them?
Paige: No, not without Piper. I think they’re too strong already.
Phoebe: No, we don’t need Piper. (She picks up the athame.) Because we have this, and they’re not going to kill us on TV. We’re gonna kill them.
[Scene: Witch Wars Studio. Corr and Clea are there.]
Clea: What if they never go back to the manor?
Corr: They will. If there’s one thing I know about The Charmed Ones, they never run away from a fight.
(On the TV screen, Paige and Chris walk into the attic.)
Paige: (on TV) What exactly are we looking for?
Chris: Anything that will let us vanquish the gamemasters without the Power of Three.
Corr: It’s show time.
(Corr and Clea kiss passionately, then Corr shimmers out. Leo orbs in with Phoebe.)
(Clea attacks them.)
[Cut to the manor. Attic. Corr shimmers in.]
Corr: Anybody wanna play a game?
(Chris grabs a box and throws it at Corr. He telekinetically knocks it aside. Paige throws two potions at him but they don’t harm him.)
Paige: When are they coming back?
(Corr throws a fireball.)
[Cut to the Witch Wars Studio. Phoebe kicks Clea in the face and she is knocked backwards. She gets back up and creates an energy ball. Leo orbs in behind her and stabs her in the back with the power-sucking athame. She is vanquished.]
Phoebe: Now that’s good television. Give me the athame.
Leo: Are you sure about this?
Phoebe: It’s for Wyatt. (Leo gives Phoebe the athame and it glows and sparks with electricity. Phoebe glows for a second as the powers enter her body.) Feels good to have powers again.
Leo: Give ’em hell.
(Phoebe shimmers out.)
[Cut to the attic. Paige and Chris dive over a couch as a fireball heads straight for them.]
Corr: This game’s over.
(Phoebe shimmers in.)
Phoebe: I couldn’t agree more. (She throws an energy ball at Corr and vanquishes him. She turns to the camera.) See what happens when you make a play for our baby? Who wants to play next?
[Cut to the Demonic Bar. The room full of demons are still watching Witch Wars.]
Phoebe: (on TV) What’s the matter? Scared of me? (Phoebe shimmers out and shimmers back in in the Demonic Bar.) Well, are you? Are you? (The demons make a run for the exit. Phoebe throws energy ball after energy ball vanquishing all the demons. She throws one at the TV screen and smashes it.) Looks like your show’s just been cancelled.
[Cut to the Manor. Attic. Paige and Chris are sitting on the couch. Leo orbs in.]
Leo: Where’s Phoebe?
Chris: That’s a good question.
(Phoebe shimmers in.)
Phoebe: God, that was great. I wanna kill somebody else. Who can I kill? Chris, find me another demon to kill.
Paige: Okay, we gotta get these powers outta her.
Phoebe: What? You’re the one who wanted me to have a power, remember?
Paige: Yeah, not a demonic power.
Phoebe: Well, beggars can’t be choosers. Oh, poor little powerless Phoebe. She can’t even take care of herself.
Paige: Okay. I’m sorry. I admit it. I was, I was wrong.
Phoebe: What did you say? Would you mind repeating that, please?
Paige: I’m sorry. I was wrong. I clearly underestimated you. You are very powerful.
Phoebe: That’s all I wanted to hear. Now who wants to stab me?
Leo: It’s the only way to get the powers out of her.
Phoebe: Come on. I dare ya. I double dare ya. I triple dare ya. I super duper dare…
Paige: Oh! (Paige grabs the athame off of Phoebe.) I’ll stab her. Leo, be ready to heal.
(Paige gets ready to stab Phoebe and…)
[Scene: Magic School. Everyone’s there. Paige is pouring champagne into glasses.]
Piper: You stabbed her?
Paige: Oh, you would have too.
Chris: She was pretty obnoxious.
Phoebe: Yeah, demonic powers on an empty stomach. Not such a good thing.
Piper: No, it was a great thing. You saved Wyatt.
Phoebe: We all did.
Piper: So we’re a hundred percent certain these were the demons we were looking for all along?
Phoebe: To our nephew. May he always be safe.
(They all clink their glasses together.)
Chris: I can’t believe it’s finally over.
Leo: Believe it. You just saved the future.
Piper: Yeah, I know.
[Scene: Gideon’s Office. Gideon and Sigmund are there watching them through the crystal ball. Gideon waves his hand and the vision disappears. Sigmund paces across the room.]
Gideon: Sigmund, try to relax. We were successful today. They’re off our trail. Even better, their guard is down which makes it that much easier to eliminate the threat.
Sigmund: His name is Wyatt.
Gideon: I’m sorry?
Sigmund: What if Phoebe was right? What if future Wyatt wasn’t turned evil by a demon? He’s just an innocent baby. What if, in trying to eliminate a threat, we are actually creating a monster? That’s such a tender age to be betrayed by those who have sworn to protect you. What if that’s what turns him?
Gideon: It’s possible. Anything is possible. But armed with this future knowledge, we have to try to make sure that it doesn’t happen this time.
Sigmund: The only way to be sure is to stop this now.
Gideon: Sigmund! This child should never have been born. He is enormously dangerous. Why am I the only one who seems to understand that?
Sigmund: That’s a very good question, sir, and with all due respect, it’s why I can’t let you go through with this. I’m going to tell the sisters the truth.
(Sigmund walks towards the door. Gideon raises his hand and Sigmund stops at the doorway, gasping for breath. Gideon walks over to Sigmund.)
Gideon: I’m sorry, old friend. But this too, is for the greater good. Forgive me.
(Gideon claps his hands together and Sigmund explodes into a million little pieces.)